The beach is in my soul


At the time this article goes out I will have officially been gone from the beach for at least nearly 20 hours… almost a full day.

I will have woke with my last view of the beach for a while.

Of course I will photograph it but often I don’t need the visual reminders. Not of this place.

I always walk out onto the balcony, look around and then close my eyes and breathe it all in.

balcony view

The sights, the smell, the endless ocean with all of its vast adventures.

The Life.

I can be anywhere, any room, any situation and just Stop.

I can smell it. The salt and sand and tropical smells.

I can feel it. The breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico caressing my skin. Rain or shine it feels so different, so alive.

I can see it in my mind. I can close my eyes and see all hours of the day or night here.

For all of my existence I have come to this place.

feet beach

This body of water.

The beaches along the Gulf Coast have helped shape who I am as a human being.

As I am sure they have shaped thousands before, even now and after I am gone.

I’ve seen the sun rise, mid-day and setting sun. I have sat on the beach from dawn til dusk and dusk til dawn.

I have slept on the beach.

I have played in this ocean and learned of the creatures that live here and respect them. Even if I am not fond of some of them this is their home. Their space.

I have walked these shores with the ones I love and those that are no longer here with me to walk in the surf or sit in the sand and stare out at the beauty.

But here I feel so close to them.

I feel close to all of those I love and care for.

I love sharing this Oneness of everything with my boy.

beach crab catchin

My amazing miracle that constantly blows my mind and fills me with love.

He reminds me of this place.

We came from this place.

The place where I am close to everything, call it God, the Universe, all of those things we cannot articulate into words but its right there.

It is where I can and do find my soul. I nourish it.

I find it and I replenish my being.

And I can come anytime I want.

I just have to remember the way.

This time, I know that I have found it.

I will not forget it.

Life is too precious to let myself forget this and how to mend my soul.

pier balcony view

 

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Storms


I love storms!

I always have loved to watch storms.

Even the scary ones.

I remember being about 4 years old and we heard on the radio there were tornado warnings in the area.

Suddenly the sky went black and the sirens went off. The power flickered and then went off.

Our family hustled to the basement to wait out the storm with a battery powered radio.

However my grandmamma loved storms too.

She felt this was the perfect time to teach me about storms and her love of nature.

So she grabbed my hand and up the stairs we went.

When she opened the front door I remember feeling the change in the pressure and the feeling of being scared but excited.

I trusted my grandmamma with all of my heart and knew she would never do anything to put me in harm’s way.

She asked me to smell the air and watch the tree tops.

We watched the swirling clouds as they built up speed and strength.

And then the coolest, most terrifying thing happened.

A tornado touched down right up the street.

I remember looking up at her with anxiety on my face.

She had the most serene expression on her face. Her body was calm, not tense.

She looked over at me and smiled.

I will never forget her words, “Storms are one of the most beautiful displays of chaos in nature. God gives us storms so we remember to appreciate the beautiful things in our lives. But if we watch them, we see storms have an intense beauty all their own. We must respect them, and even fear them a bit, but know if you take precautions you can be safe and sheltered from the storms. Never believe you are completely safe though because no one but God knows what that storm will do.”

How right she was.

To this day over 40 years later I love to watch storms.

 storms2

I treat them with the respect they deserve but still get a thrill out of watching them.

However, driving in them not so much!

Storms come in and cleanse the land.

Hurricanes and tornados can reshape the landscape.

storms1

Yes they can do unspeakable damage and destroy homes, businesses and even lives.

But they are a part of the very fabric of our existence.

The storms of life we have all suffered through.

Hopefully to come through it better than we were before.

Cleansed.

Respectful.

No matter rain nor shine I hope you all have a Fabulous Day My Friends!

Stay Graceless!

 

A day of rest


 day of rest

Growing up I was taught Sunday is a day of rest.

Growing up in the south, Sunday was reserved for church and family.

Friends would come by for a big lunch or maybe an afternoon visit, but we were pretty low key on our Sunday’s.

I remember every spring our church would give us kites in the spring.

We always looked forward to this day because we would get to fly our kites after lunch.

It was a Sunday where my brother and I were guaranteed the adults would “play” with us outside because it was a yearly tradition.

Now days Sundays are “just another day” for so many.

I remember when there weren’t any businesses opened on Sundays. Maybe a grocery store or two and of course restaurants.

When the mall decided to open on Sundays it was not until 1:00 PM and at the time several people were outraged that you could shop on Sundays.

In the Bible belt, Sundays were for church.

You went to church, came home had a big lunch, maybe a nap and then went back to church that evening. Sometimes you spent all day at church.

For me personally, I still try to make it a day of rest.

Sometimes I take the boy to church and then we have lunch together.

I always try to find fun things for us to do together.

Anything from fishing, drawing to even watching a movie together – time just together bonding. Just spending time being.

So many people seem to forget this basic human need.

minion day of rest

You don’t have to spend money and do all of these adventurous things to bond and just be together.

You just need to truly enjoy spending time with another human being. Quality time together.

This life is too short and relationships are so precious.

Why not take one day each week to truly enjoy this life?

Whether with others or yourself.

Take a little time off to recharge or just rest up before the week starts up and the chaos begins again.

I hope you all have a happy, fabulous Sunday!

day of rest 2

 

Hiding Out


 kid behind tree

I see you there.

Hiding out.

Hiding from me.

From everyone.

Right out in plain sight you stand.

Trying so hard to pretend you aren’t there.

Trying to pretend that your illness doesn’t exist.

Doesn’t show.

You talk and act as though nothing is wrong.

You’re the life of the party.

The one who’s always “helping” out.

Your stories are filled with all You do and Your life.

How You are Always the one “everyone” turns to.

Your adventures.

It’s always about you.

Yet you hide out when things get tough.

You hide from the confrontation.

You hide from the truth of what has taken over you.

You hide.

kitty hiding

You think that I do not see but I do.

You can keep on hiding out.

I will keep on knowing.

Because I promise you.

You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.

I just hope you will get the help you need.

I hope you will find the way to your happiness.

Hiding out is no way to exist.

So just try to make an effort to find your way back to health.

Find your way back to happiness.

Find your way back to you.

stop hiding

 

Happy Friday Y’all!


This week has flowed to a different beat.

I left on Monday for a week at the beach.

Meeting up with a portion of our family.

There are 10 of us at the condo.

Yes 10 human beings.

8 adults and 2 kids.

Pure chaos.

More fun than you can imagine!

However, privacy is just a dream! Haha but oh so true

Having so many of us has afforded this mama something that she hasn’t had in over 6 years… a beach cocktail. Thank you my dear sweet cousin for just handing me the cup and saying, “enjoy”!

I am not a big drinker at all, however, I do enjoy a drink on occasion.

 photo 5

My view from the condo!

I forgot how much fun it is to sit back and enjoy myself as I am usually constantly “on” with the boy.

Having others around affords me the luxury of just sitting back and chilling out.

I mean I am still “on” but it’s more laid back.

I love it!

I’m not used to having all these people watch my boy and it’s like a mini vacation.

I know everyone isn’t as blessed or as lucky as I am to have the awesome family that I do.

It is challenging somewhat space wise.

As OCD as I am this can be a hurdle I have to overcome. But it seems easier and easier with less stress and knowing I am not alone.

Family and friends you love and trust are invaluable these days.

Anyone who knows me knows I also need my quite me time.

Something a bit hard to come by sharing space and schedules with so many folks!

I must say that I have been blessed with spaces of quite time because these people Know I need it.

Like being able to write my blog and a maybe a few other articles.

It’s not like I can just go and grab some words off the web and copy and paste it and call it my own. Not only is it plagiarism but it’s just not something I can do!

So I get my time!

And like just now it got interrupted but it was just my brother, also working, while our kiddos are at the beach with everyone else so we can work.

Of course since we don’t get to spend as much time together as we would like to do. And I miss the banter of how we are. Complimenting and berating each other in the same breath! Ah sibling love!

It really is just This though that makes me so relaxed.

Being able to enjoy my family. Those I don’t get to see as much as we’d like and spend quality moments with them.

All from my happy-find-my-soul-spot!

It doesn’t get much better than this!

photo 2 

Another fabulous view

Happy Friday Y’all!

Make it Freaking Fabulous!

 

Taking a break….kid toss


Sometimes we all need a break.

Thus far this week has been somewhat of a break for me.

Enjoying the beach and family is fun.

But this writer is tired!

So I leave you with this photo.

My cousin and I tossing the boy in the pool.

Exciting I know!

 kid toss

 I hope everyone has a fabulous Thursday!

I promise more tomorrow and the days to come!

 

Run Away


Run away. Run away.

I don’t know if I can handle today.

Run away. Run away.

I will face this life come what may.

 

Dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far. Far, far away.

Dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far. Far. Far away.

 

Running away does not solve all your problems. It may temporarily ease your mind however, it cannot make those problems go away.
Geographically you can put yourself further away, but you cannot actually escape the problem.
When I was a child I remember I wanted to run away from home.
I packed a bag of my favorite toys and I set out on my way.
My mom watching from the door waved and told me to have a good adventure.
I went all the way down the street made a left-hand turn and walked down the big street!
Then came to me what was a huge choice in my then six-year-old life.
Do I step out onto the first busy road or do I walk back at that long hill, make a right and go home?
Going home I had to face what I didn’t want to deal with, which was most likely cleaning my room or minding my parents. 

I also wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of my little brother. He could be extremely annoying although pretty darn cute at times too
I chose to go home.
I talked to my parents and I remember them telling me that I made the right choice. Things are not always perfect but I knew they loved me, and I learned that I could solve my problems if I just faced them. Even if it wasn’t easy.
As an adult I’ve thought away thought about running away more times than I did as a child.
However it is not always that easy. Especially when you have responsibilities and understand more people, or pets, depending on you.

I admit that I have small times that I call it “running away “.
I take time for myself and I dig around inside my mind to find what I’m really thinking about and what’s troubling me
It isn’t always pretty and it isn’t always nice.

Quite often it’s painful.

I may seem distant or cold to some people, but I’m trying to find myself again.

I’m searching deep inside of my soul and what I really need to find it myself.
I even escape to parking lots while I’m driving to and from places so that I can just stop and think.
When you run away you also run away from people in your life.

When you leave with no warning or no heads up you leave them wondering if the words that they said were truly meant.

There are all kinds of forms of this behavior. Being late, not taking a call and/or not calling are just a few examples.
It can make one wonder if they are not as important to that person as they pledged they were in the first place.
Taking a breather from a person, people or situations is understandable. To seek a way for you to find yourself.

It isn’t as if I haven’t done it myself.

However, I do let the people closest to me, or that I am indebted to or responsible for, know that I am “checking out” for a mental moment or moments.

But to think that you can “run away” from your problems and not face them?

I don’t understand that.

If you have obligations and responsibilities with others, you just running away is cowardly in my eyes.

I understand not wanting to “deal” with that person, but for the love of Pete, put your big girl panties on and Deal With It.

Adults that do things like this, to me, show lack of respect and compassion for others.

They are selfish.

Yes you have become an adult.

Welcome.

You committed to certain things and people, but since there have been waves in the order of your life and you aren’t happy with it, you chose to run away like a child instead of confronting and handling said situation.

You get petty and cruel with your words, yet don’t use your words to convey and communicate your plan to take care of your obligations while you go find yourself.

When I hear someone say, “I am going to run away” I smile.

They are saying out loud what they are doing, not caring who judges but also letting others know they will be out of touch. Whether metaphorically or not they are saying it.

But those who literally run away because they can’t or don’t want to face their problems, chose to push out people in their lives they may have kept if only they had done things differently.

Those people don’t respect everyone as most of them claim to do.

I’ve learned they are afraid of themselves more than anyone else.

Although they would never admit it.

As for me, I enjoy my little “run aways.”

Although I am not trying to disappear, I just like go off the grid. Usually it’s only for 30 minutes but sometimes I get to escape for longer!

There have been times in my life where I have told others to run away!

I am sure I have been the cause of some people to actually go away too.

Always their choice! I’m not like a mafia don or anything!

But choosing to run away, I really hope you have a good reason.

As for me, I am running to the beach.

But I am not alone.

My family is here.

My boy.

He understands why I tell him, “I want to run away to the beach. It’s my happy place. Want to go with me?!”

And he now always says, “Oh yes mommy, I will run anywhere with you. I love you.”

So we run away to the beach.

To smell the salt air and feel the sand between our toes.

Pure bliss.

We find ourselves even if we didn’t know we were looking.

 

Have a fabulous Wednesday My Friends!

 

Me and the “smart phone”


 It has now been 2 1/2 years since I got my first smart phone.
Prior to that I did have a cell phone but I only had a cell phone that was for calls & limited texts only for the last 12 years!
I went kicking and screaming into getting a smart phone and now I don’t know how I lived without it! Sadly I am serious!

I mean not only can I call and text, but I can check emails, the weather, get directions and the recipe for that awesome cake I need! I even have robot Suri who lives in my phone and who has a dude’s voice because I mean I had a phone that talked to me why not make the voice male if I am female?!

And no, I have no idea how I changed the voice!

I have a few apps but I am too OCD to have all those icons on that little screen and I don’t need to keep looking at my dang phone!
My first phone was gifted to me by a close friend because I desperately needed a phone as I was very financially challenged.

One week into it I broke it.

I had no idea how costly they were and my first response when told the cost, was why in the hell would you buy me a $600 phone or get me a $600 phone even if it is insured?

And for the love of all that is holy tell me how much it costs even if we are not “technically” paying for it! I am klutzy but do try to be extra careful with costly items! (Vehicles, nice clothes, appliances, etc.).

I ended up buying it one of those otter box case devices for it so that I could at least drop it without the screen shattering.

I have smaller heart attacks now every time it gets bumped, or god forbid, accidentally dropped.

I should have known.

There are times I feel like I am a slave to my phone.

I know I do not use it to the full extent of what it can do but then, I don’t think I really want to!

The fact that I could, if I desired, to download MS Word and Excel freaks me out.

I want more screen to do that kind of stuff on! My eyes don’t see so good!

It’s bad enough that I can not only type to text message, but also to respond to emails.

The screen of my iPhone isn’t large enough to really type paragraphs.

No I won’t upgrade to those small notepad size “phones”. It is not for me. I can only imagine how much that costs and again, size, me and klutz factor… Not good!

I have recently, like in the past 2 months, realized how handy that talk to text button is. I have also learned Suri and I need a communication class so he doesn’t make up new words to replace the words he obviously can’t understand! I speak just fine with maybe a tish of a southern drawl.

I have found fun apps but don’t have anywhere near as many as most of my friends do.

I also got an iPad several years ago for Christmas.

Did you know you can link those two devices?!

They have a fluffy cloud that stores all of your info too, but there are glitches in that!

I don’t want my boy watching movies on my phone for instance.

That is iPad only.

I do a decent job of keeping them separate since he basically commandeered the iPad! It has more games on it but the majority of those he actually learns things, but don’t tell him that!

It isn’t the Jetsons yet but we are pretty darn close.

I about freaked out when I did face time for the first time with my parents after my son was born. So very cool!

I do actually do a lot of research on my phone. I love the ease of it.

It is smarter than me!

But, you see, I have a confession.

I love my computer, and yes it’s a PC.

I know they have issues, I have dealt with them since the early 90’s but it’s like an old car I know how to repair.

I have a lap top that is so much easier for me to write on.

Plus I can see the screen on a larger detail!

I love typing.

I grew up in the age of typewriters – yes the electric ones that were not computerized!

I have also used an old school typewriter.

Maybe I am a geek but I love putting my fingers on the keys and writing!

Just as I still love putting pen to paper.

I will admit that the “smart phone” has made my life easier.

I will also admit I don’t totally trust it!

I will say that the ratio of wanting to throw it out the window due to malfunction is much less than it was with the old school phones!

I still regularly think of tossing it.

I wish life wasn’t so complicated because we literally have the world at our fingertips.

We forget to slow down, and sometimes we have to even schedule “down time.”

That’s pretty sad.

So while I do love my smarter-than-me phone and I am very, very grateful for it, I miss the old school world.

The ones where you wrote letters, called on the land line phone and if you didn’t get someone, had to call back.

The world where you had to drive around to find places or if you’re feeling adventurous and use a real honest to God map with latitude and longitude.

You went to the library to research information.

Video games were Atari and Nintendo. Yes I am that old and I wasn’t a gamer.

But life is about changes and how we adapt to the world around us.

We now have smart watches, smart homes and all kinds of smart gadgets.

For now I am sticking to the phone, iPad and computer.

I may go dig the old Wii out of the attic for the boy and me to play on rainy days when we are done drawing or crafting and I am sick of movies.

He will have plenty of technology growing up.

He already has way more than I did at his age!

So I try to slow it down when he’s with me.

Watching a movie, mostly on TV but sometimes the iPad, is my worst offense.

And we recently got Netflix!

I do have to keep up with technology so that I can keep up with him.

Like I will need one more pass word to remember!

The boy can already figure out stuff faster on the smart phones and iPads than most adults.

It’s scary but exciting in the big brother/aliens kind of way.

I can do it.

But I can still turn it off whenever I chose.

I am glad we’ve moved “forward” but sometimes we need to take the time to remember the “now.”

How smart is That?!

Stay fabulous my graceless peeps!

P.S. I am listening to the waves crash into shore… we made it to the beach!!!!

 

Happy Monday My Friends!!


One of the best things about blogging is that I can set it up to post for me in advance…. I mean I don’t get up at whatever early hour I send them out!

I am not a morning person!

However I do write daily for my blog as well as other articles.

That said HAPPY MONDAY MY PEOPLE!!!

I am going to the beach!!!

Yes by mid-day I will be headed south with the boy to meet the family!

So this post will be short but cheerful!

Enjoy the photos from past trips!

This is Freddie the seagull.

seagulls

I am going to my happy place.

The place where I find myself and my soul sings.

beach sunset

So I am sending out my happy thoughts to you all!

I hope you have a fabulous Monday and a wonderful week!

Tomorrow’s post will be fueled by me breathing in the salt air after sticking my toes in the Gulf of Mexico!

beach sweet home AL

Stay fabulous my friends!

Finding old friends in the spaces of our lives


Sometime in this life if we are really lucky, we meet some of the best people.

We call them friends.

IMG_3143

If we are really, really lucky, we find those find in the spaces from our past.

Those people we always liked but didn’t know so well due to different groups of friends or age. Or maybe because we were really shy when we were trying to seem cool.

One of the best parts of that is finding those people as adults.

Talking and learning each other and finding out the why as to why we were drawn to them all those years ago.

We find ourselves talking for hours about not the “good old days”, but our lives now. Were we’ve been and what’s gone on in our lives since we last saw each other.

I love hearing how we’ve grown but also have that core of who we were.

I love finding those “new” friends.

Or re-connecting to those you somewhat knew, and figuring out you wish you’d talked to this person way back then more so that this incredible human could have been in your life all along.

I think the universe likes to make us wait so we still keep getting to experience that thrill of a new friendships.

For me, moving back to my home state after being a gypsy so many years I am having those experiences.

Some people are flat out crazy.

IMG_4548

Some are all about drama. Still. We are out of high school please move along!

Yet others are those rare gems.

Recently I spoke to a friend that I can honestly say it’s been over 20 years since we have talked.

Both of us were a bit shyer then.

However, we have both figured out who we are (still works in progress), had kids and life experiences that seems to make us more open to the right people needed in our lives.

People laugh at me when I say I collect friends.

Human are unique creatures each of whom has a different outlook and perspective on life.

I enjoy talking to people and seeing if their brand of crazy gels with mine.

I relish getting into a conversation where I don’t want to hang up the phone because I am enjoying the company so well.

Finding out how much we have in common and enjoying listening to that person’s voice.

It is truly one of those special moments I never take for granted.

No matter if our lives have been totally different or followed similar courses.

The fun is finding similarities that I find so ironic.

How we both have moved around a lot!

We are now both single parents raising our sons.

The amusement we share in so many things.

The honesty of our words.

Because let’s face it. Not everyone is honest.

People want to “put on a front” of how “great” they are and make themselves seem to be the people they want to be and not who they are.

radical honestly

But this conversation?!

I felt like the scene in Jaws where everyone is comparing their scars!

I am still on that happy high of finding another like me and mine! Someone I knew but I had just “lost” through the years.

Maybe we were trying to shock each other.

Or maybe we were just testing the waters to make sure that we are really ok with being friends.

I know that for me, I feel pretty certain I have found another I won’t let go of.

Finding a friend who is honest, makes me laugh and understand other aspects of life that so many don’t is like finding a gold mine for some.

Yet it’s “just” one person.

But that person by just being my friend, has put a smile on my face and given me hope yet again.

They may never know how I feel, but I hope they know that I respect and appreciate them for being themselves.

That I will most definitely make sure I tell them!

Life is too short to judge.

Life is too short to lie.

When you feel it in your gut you know what the right thing is for you.

As for me, I am doing the happy dance I found another soul as nutty as me who’s willing to share space and have some fun.

No judgment. No expectations other than friendship.

That is a Fabulous feeling indeed!

I hope you all have a Graceless Sunday and a Fabulous week!

Keep hope alive my friends!