Brand new week


cg how much love mother t

Today we start a brand new week

Dancing fast, no cheek to cheek

Answering phones, taking care of all

I listened to my heart and took the call

To help those in need and care for others

Because we are all sisters and brothers

As I step into this complex role

I don’t forget who I am deep in my soul

A daughter, sister, mother and friend

Someone who stays until the end

Have a fabulous day and Keep Hope Alive!

 

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The thoughts go around inside of my mind


Thoughts go around inside of my mind, laughter madness a sing song rhyme

My emotions run back and forth through time

Happiness, sadness, joy and fear

Learning more with each passing year

Finding myself and losing another

Remembering we are all sisters and brothers

Mothers and fathers, daughters and sons

Familial bonds throughout the ruins

Assigned and chosen, both sides together

Stronger than granite yet light as a feather

My hope and my prayer is Keep Hope Alive

For I know through it all that I will survive.

Have a fantastically, fabulous Saturday!


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Hello my Fabulously Graceless Friends!

I hope this lovely Saturday you find happiness, hope and peace at some point this fine day.

I hope that these very words make you smile.

I hope that you can let go of your pain, your hurt and your worries and just enjoy Be-ing for a few moments.

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I hope you find beauty in something, somewhere.

I hope you smile.

I hope you remember to keep hope alive even in the most challenging times. Just remember to breathe.

I hope you all have a fantastically, fabulous Saturday!

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Another fabulous Friday


oh its friday minion

Ahhhh Friday! The “last” day of the work week… unless you have to work or are on-call, which in my case, means working!

However, I am choosing to make this Friday Fabulous! No matter what!

It’s been a rough couple of months weeks and I am going to just be. Let whatever happens happen and do my best to not get ruffled by the winds of change and life.

I only have control over so much and also I have absolutely no control over others. I get in a funk when the boy isn’t home. I tend to throw myself into work or projects that need to be done and not just let myself rest and re-charge like I need to.

I don’t enjoy too many public outings, yet I crave humanity. Not an overwhelming abundance of folks but a select few… which is what makes it so challenging that I am not the one who gets to select the folks I would like to see these days or so it seems. I have a lot of interaction regarding work, but not so much on a personal level. I really need to work on that!

It’s just so hard to commit to plans when you know that you will also be working. It can annoy some people who may assume being on call is just taking a few calls when in actuality, for me, ends up being several hours or even all day. I would rather not make plans so that I’m not disappointed when I have to break them.

ffeling all done me either

But hey, it’s Friday! So I am going to make the most of trying to relax in between calls.

I always keep hope alive!

After all, we are all superheroes! Some of us sprinkled with a bit more maos and crazy than others!

Have a fantastically, fabulous Friday!

We are all superheroes


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Today is superhero day at the boy’s school. He is under the impression that I need to dress up as well. Even though, in his mind, I am a superhero every day. Today I am supposed to “show the world” my superhero self.

I keep telling him no one wants to see mommy in costume but he disagrees. It isn’t that I don’t like to dress up, but wearing a costume to work when it isn’t Halloween won’t go over too well. I am sure my boss would be amused, but some of my client’s not so much.

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I love that my son thinks I am a superhero. He says I am his own personal superhero.

He truly believes when I go and help “take care of people” that I am being a superhero. I told him I am still just his mommy and trying to help others as much as I can.

I told him I mess up, I make mistakes and sometimes I let people down. He knows I am not perfect. He has seen me mess up, lose my cool and fall apart. He loves me unconditionally as I love him. It amazes me that he always wants to be with me even when I get onto him when he does wrong. He informed me it’s because I tell him when he is wrong and I also tell him I love him no matter what. He can grasp the importance of messing up, learning from his mistakes and having those who love you still love you even when you mess up.

He looked at me with his sweet, innocent face and said, “Mommy, you are human. You tell me no one is perfect. Even you. But I think you are perfect for me.” He is so right. No one is perfect. But on those amazingly rare occasions, we are perfect for each other.

That it took a 5 year old to remind me of something so profound and true tells me I must be doing something right.

So today, find your inner superhero! And recognize those who are everyday superheroes. You never know who it may be.

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Keep hope alive for a fabulous day!

Falling down but I get back up, sometimes slowly


sometimes find self in middle of nowhere

I fall down and get back up.

I make mistakes and try to learn from them.

I don’t want to get caught in the repetitive cycle of repeat, yet I find myself doing that at times.

It takes more than one cycle for some things to get through my thick skull.

I may get down, I may get depressed but I lose hope.

sometimes life repeats ntil u learn

I may remove myself from people and situations that are toxic for me but I don’t give up. I see it as doing better for me.

People have advice, opinions and “how it should be done” to offer me. I do appreciate some of it. Other opinions not so much.

Ultimately it is up to me to find that place in my mind and soul that holds my peace.

I make some doozy mistakes. I accidentally hurt feelings when I don’t mean too.

I am completely human.

It is during my times of climbing back up that I find who can take me and who can’t. I have learned I am absolutely okay with that.

sometimes people not change mask falls off

If someone can’t accept me for me and handle me when I drop my basket, and I realize sometimes there is a Lot of crap in my basket, then they can’t handle me. I can respect that.

I am not perfect.

I am perfectly me. Fabulous Gracelessness.

Have a fabulous day and Keep Hope Alive!

Happy Birthday to the Passion Twins


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Happy Birthday to The Passion Twins!

Yes today is the day that the Pisces Passion Twins made their way into the world 40-ish years ago and the planet hasn’t been the same since.

Yes JO, the mothership will come back for you one day. I hope today is not that day because we are long overdue for another visit. Preferably without detriment to your health!

JU I hope someone other than you sister cleans your home and waits on you hand and foot and yeah… I know. It’s a birthday dream that you pray will one day come true. The older we all get, the harder that is to accomplish! Of course the lottery would help greatly with this so maybe your man and I will play again and win this time!

Sometimes in life you are fortunate to meet extraordinary people that when you see each other, you immediately scream for joy because you know you’ve found a kindred soul. The bonus is when said kindred soul has a twin that you instantly connect to when you finally meet them. You just know it.

For me that started when I met JO, the “elder” of the two by mere minutes. That whole, “when our eyes met” thing was totally on but in a different way. We instantly bonded. We were instantly chatting and planning to visit. Not normal for either of us.

When her twin, JU, moved to town with her husband and son a few years later, it’s been “on” ever since!

Being best friends with twins is definitely not boring. Nothing ever is with these two! I always feel like I am the third sister and we’ve actually had several folks that thought we were triplets. I said even the devil wouldn’t be that evil to let all of us share a womb… 2 was enough!

I hate we are no longer in the same city so we can’t CELEBRATE! HO-LI-DAY! like we have for over 10 years. My gypsy travels moved me around and up until my son was born, I always went back to celebrate no matter what was happening. Even after I had him I went, but this year I couldn’t go at even a before or after week.

So I choose to celebrate two absolutely fabulous humans on their birthday by writing about how awesome they are and how lucky I am to know them.

These are the women who are artist, musicians, mothers, wives, friends, daughters, sisters and all around fabulous humans.

They make me laugh and have been there for me when I needed them, which has been a lot! One will tell you she doesn’t “do people” anymore yet she finds a way to see me every time I come to town.

When I got pregnant, they threw my first baby shower and “Better you than me!” was written on the cake! It was funny because it was so true. We all three had one male child and none of us wanted more. It was odd to see the boys I helped raise as teenagers holding my tiny baby though. Of course we took a ton of photos because there were our first boys with what we all knew was the last boy.

Through all the years, the laughter and tears, the diapers, potty training, changes of life, loss of friends and family, we are there for each other.

Today I celebrate their lives.

To the Passion Twins!

May all of your dreams come true and may Raul finally be your hot personal servant for all eternity, squared of course so there’s one for each of you!

Keep Hope Alive for a fantastic day filled with fun, laughter and a whole lot of well wishes!

I love you both so much, my sisters from another mister!

 

Wants, needs and desires


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Lately I’ve been observing what I want, what I truly need and the things that I desire in my life.

I have been making a conscious effort to basically pick apart my thoughts, words, actions and deeds. I have been hard on myself as it is a painful thing to do, if I am being honest.

Seeing how I can be or can be perceived can tear at me in such a way it can leave me speechless.

Hearing how I sound at times when I communicate with others, once played back, can be looked upon as poor or plain miscommunication. Either way I know that in several relationships I need to work on conveying how I am feeling, not how I want to feel. Because if I am honest, I don’t often let people in as deep as I am due to the fact that I feel that if they truly saw ME they would run away and I would never hear from them again. It does happen. This I know.

I know that I am working to get my groove back since I started working full time plus outside of the realm of mommy, writer and homemaker diva.

I lost my crown a while back in case anyone was keeping score.

I have flaws but it’s odd that even when I state that for the record, it gets lost until I finally screw up enough that an attempt to toss it back at me ends poorly for all involved. I admit my quirks and imperfections. Take me or leave me but don’t act as if I have hidden them.

One of the things I now work into my life equations is the boy. Parenting is an amazing responsibility.

Before I had him all my thoughts, dreams and impulsions were much easier and I didn’t have to go with the flow I could swim against the current if I chose to do so. I can still swim against the currents, but I have to think about the other life I am responsible for. I have to choose what is not only best for me but him too.

Am I making it harder on me by choosing the easier path? Have I become a cop out?! Only I can answer those questions.

Only I can truly determine what I need versus my wants and desires. Something I do not take lightly. I can’t.

As I do daily, I am examining more closely me.

I try not to be so harsh on myself.

I always keep hope alive!

Take a moment, breathe…take today


imagination run wild

Please take a moment.

Take a breath.

Today is a new day to find your own way.

Today is yours to do with what you may.

Remember that your actions and any of you deeds, will be sure to come back to help or hurt you, some say in threes.

Try to make peace with you self and your life.

I know it can be hard as there’s joy and strife.

There are so many emotions strewn in between the fabric of my life and the belief in things unseen.

My journey is filled with challenges as well as moments of pure bliss.

I can truly say that my experiences thus far have lead me straight to this.

A moment in time, the right time of year… I feel everything that’s dealt to me and I’ve cried a thousand tears.

I’ve realized the times I treasure and focus on the more than before.

Just when I think the waters are calm the storms being once more.

Then I stop and breathe and remember my heart.

I only have to find the place in my soul.

I am not alone.

No one is alone unless they chose to be.

I do not have control over anyone but me.

I will keep my dreams alive and do my best to all of those I love and know they accept me for who I am.

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Fabulous, graceless, flawed, crazy, loving, full of life and hope, caregiver, mother, imperfect, friend, daughter, sister, broken in places, aunt, flake, human be-ing evolving constantly.

Above all always remember to keep hope alive!

 

Life, adventures and wicked sense of humor


imagination tinkerbell

It seems like life has a wicked sense of humor. Or either I have a really skewed perspective. One of the two but I haven’t figure it out yet. It’s fine by me right now.

I am just trying to survive at this point! It’s been a bit of a maotically challenging week. Who am I kidding? It’s been stressful, exhausting and draining. My body hurts more than it has in ages and all I want to do is sleep.

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I have so much to do so I decided the boy and I are going on an adventure today… I am sure I will need medications and maybe a scooter to get through it. Sometimes it can be hard keeping up with a 5 year old boy when your body is falling apart. However, I will not give up that easily.

See?! My pity party only lasted seconds… more or less!

My motto is always keep hope alive!

I hope we all get through this day with a little faith, hope and pixie dust!

Art courtesy of the boy *African art which he translated into a zombie art project with the zombie spiders along with he and I… he’s so creative and his teacher was impressed with his imagination and color choices!

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