Hello Monday


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Hello Monday my old friend.

Good to see you once again.

Can’t say it’s always great, but I always know I can count on you.

You never let me down, showing up week after week.

Sometimes I despise you, however I realized it isn’t the day, but the thought of beginning a new week.

Like if I didn’t have to face Monday sometimes I could put off the inevitable.

Right and I wave my magic wand and everything turns out hunkey dorey!

Oh how I wish!

If only life were so easy.

If only I could leave my responsibilities and troubles at the garden gate and go on with my day!

But alas, I must move forward and face my challenges and fears.

I must remember to hold my head high and never give up.

I must always remember to keep hope alive!

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Moon Love


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We danced.

Under the full moon on the balcony, we danced.

We laughed and played.

We ate good, played in the ocean but most of all we danced and sang.

Your favorite color is red.

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You tell me I am your favorite, bestest mommy you’ve ever had.

I tell you I dreamed of you before you were here.

“Did you always love me?”

“Always! I love you more each day and more than I did a minute ago.”

“Even when I’m bad? Do you still love me then?”

“I love you no matter what.”

Now we sing and dance some more.

Me and my miracle.

I pray for many more full moons with you.

And know my love for you is overflowing.

*Dedicated to my boy, Tuesday’s child full of Grace*

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Truth


Truth can hurt. It can be painful and cutting.

Relationships can be destroyed and friendships lost.

It can also be freeing. It can give you that exhale you’ve been waiting on for far too long.

People don’t always tell the truth. Sometimes they have different version of the truth. Nicer, cleaner. Not so dirty and hateful.

Some don’t want to recall their actions and deeds that hurt the ones they claimed to love.

Others take full responsibility of their faults and mistakes.

I have been called brutally honest.

That is painful in ways but also very true.

I know I don’t always want to see or accept the truth.

I know that I could never ignore it no matter how hard it may be to face.

For the old saying, the truth shall set you free, is so very true.

As is the truth can destroy.

The balancing act of truth telling is as fragile as a flower.

Now go have a fabulous day and ponder the truth of happiness!

Writing a blog can be a dangerous thing!


Writing a blog can be a dangerous thing.

I have always written since I was a little girl and kept a diary. I have written in journals, short stories, articles, essays, poems – you get the idea.

Oftentimes when I am writing a post I just write and don’t always think about how it is taken on the other end. I mean it is my blog and my thoughts. I try not to offend too badly.

I’ve been contacted by some people asking if I was writing about specific people or why I wrote about them because “they knew” that I was.

It isn’t about “you”. That’s why it’s called FabulousGracelessness.

Writing and maintaining a public blog is something I always wanted to do but wasn’t sure if I could.

I knew I could write. I write and get paid when I can and I write letters and poems and of course in my journal. I have been published, a small publication in the National Library of Poetry, but still published. I’ve written articles as a ghostwriter and for organizations where my name was actually listed as the author.

I have found in writing a blog I love the challenge I set for myself to write one post a day. I love stretching my mind to find things to write about and pulling from my mind, my thoughts and opinions.

I have also learned friends and family will tell me “don’t post this on your blog, it’s personal.” I completely respect that. I do. For the most part, I honor their wishes. I do end up writing about them but never names, places or any pertinent information about them.

So many of my life situations I find hysterically funny or completely fascinating and I want to share it.

But I also censor myself.

Because if I truly said everything that was on my mind, in my thoughts and heart I would be in a level of hell I do not want to venture through.

I do put a large part of my life “out there for anyone to see.”

Judge me as you will, but don’t forget the saying “Judge not lest ye be judged” and “he/she that is without sin cast the first stone.” *Please see my post “judge me” to see how I really feel!. https://fabulousgracelessness.com/2015/07/28/judge-me/

Believe me when I say I keep a lot to myself. Literally. I have my written journals and electronic writings, but if I don’t write things, I feel like I will fester up from the inside and explode. I sometimes feel I would lose my mind if I didn’t write it out.

There will always be critics and haters. There will always be those who think they know more about me than I do. Those people are amusing and also quite annoying.

There are also folks out there who genuinely enjoy my writings and ramblings and to y’all I say THANK YOU!

Thank You for allowing me to live my dream of writing and knowing others read, comment and sometimes even enjoy! If I am truly blessed, they will take something positive away or know they aren’t alone in their feelings and beliefs.

That is the best feeling of knowing that you made someone’s day a little brighter or helped a complete stranger with your words.

So I continue to write and to share.

I can’t not do it.

But know, it’s not about “you”, it’s about ME getting my thoughts and feelings Out.

Was that clear enough? If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

As for the rest of you I truly hope you enjoy getting a glimpse of this maotic (that’s mayhem and chaos all together) mind of mine!

Hence why I say, writing a blog can be a dangerous thing. Good thing I like a bit of danger!

Here’s to Keep Hope Alive and following your dreams!

Have a fantastically fabulously graceless Friday my friends!

A blue bunny kind of Thursday


So my jeep has been in the shop for a while now. I am worried that the “Blue Bunny” may not be suitable for me any longer and I dearly love that vehicle!

It is far from a luxury car, but it is mine, bought and paid for. It seems, however, that it’s days of carting me and mine around are limited.

I purchased that jeep when it was just me and my big love dog, Jethro. It has a manual transmission, aka manny tranny, and lots of quirks but I was in love from the test drive.

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I started receiving recall notices, little things like windows, buttons, etc. after the boy was born and took it in the first time when the passenger rear window got stuck in the down position. At first the dealership tried to claim my kid had worn it out, but seeing as how I had him in a carrier and he had limited head control, much less the ability to repeatedly push the button to roll down the window they conceded it was probably due to the defect of the system. Ya think?!

Then, about a year and a half after the first time I had the window repaired, the same thing happened. It got stuck on the passenger side in the down position. It was winter and cold, like 23 degrees outside cold. I took it back to the dealership and told them of the problem.

Let’s just say things did not go well for either of us, and I had to pay for a new part for the window they “repaired” with the recalled parts they were given to “replace the bad ones”. Whatever. My kid is still in a car seat and can’t reach the button for the window. *Ahem.

Of course I had to do the usual maintenance, fluid changes, tires (several times as I drive a lot and yeah, I think I am an Andretti descendant at times), even a new windshield, which I lived with for quite a while before I dropped the cash to fix that.

Moving along I came to the decision to move back to the motherland with the boy and dog. I figured it would be easier to do the majority of it myself to save funds.

Logical right?

So I started packing and planning and realized I needed a hitch on my jeep as I figured I would at some point need a trailer for my move.

I take it to the local U-Haul and schedule a time for the hitch to be installed. Since it was during the week and I worked, I had a co-worker take me up there so I could have them install the hitch while I am at work, go back to work and come back when they finished as it was less than 5 minutes away.

I get to the U-Haul, walk in and tell all these “young” guys why I am there. The cockiest one walks up, snags my keys and smirks, “I got this.”

I just smiled at his other 2 co-workers and said, “He’s kind of confident. That’s going to be a good thing to have in life.”

As they looked at me oddly, he returned via the back entrance with a sheepish look on his face. His co-workers quickly inquired as to if he was ok and if the vehicle was ok. Of course the vehicle was fine. The problem? He couldn’t drive a manual transmission, stick shift or anything like it. If it wasn’t “automatic” he couldn’t drive it!

It turns out only one of them had ever even attempted driving a vehicle that wasn’t an automatic. All of the trucks they rented were automatic.

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Wow, just wow!

There was only one that had attempted to drive a stick, and yes, I let him attempt it again but he couldn’t do it. He had the true humor to tell me he was temporarily turning in his man card because he now knew he needed to know how to drive one.

The other two pretty much hid from me more or less.

I had to back my own vehicle up the ramp so they could install the hitch. Their manager was coming over from another store to get it down and they would call to let me know when to pick it back up.

I had to say I laughed long and hard about that one as did several of my co-workers and friends! I still do. I mean, really, you take your vehicle to get something done to it and all of the employees working that shift could not drive it because it is not an automatic?! I cannot make this up!

I’ve had so many great adventures and good memories in my “blue bunny” so named for its color and general happy feel!

My boy had one of those walkers that had the jeep look on it and that was done randomly and not because of my jeep. I have a photo somewhere of him in his walker behind my actual parked jeep. See below.

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I have lived in 2 states and driven through 7 in the bunny.

I know her quirks and oddities like I know my own.

Of course I paid it off last year so it’s just Murphy and his laws again messing with me telling me it’s time to move on. But this one is hard for me.

I have so many great memories.

My dog, Jethro, who is no longer on the planet with me, rode all over the southeast in that jeep.

My dad got a kick out of it and we talked about how I always wanted a jeep when I was younger, but he was worried then that I would flip it with my driving skills at the time. My dad is no longer here either.

I got the Blue Bunny and 14 months later had my boy so I carried both boy and dog in the jeep back and forth from the park to the house and to visit family.

I know that sometime soon I am going to have to make a decision on what to do about her.

I’ve been blessed to have a “loaner” minivan that is quite cool. Words I never thought I could ever put into a sentence and mean! It’s “loaded” as they say and my boy likes it better than the jeep. I mean ALL of the windows roll up and down, there’s a sun roof, space, good on gas and oh yeah it has DVD players in it.

We took it on our trip to PA and even with 6 humans and all of our crap we had space. We even discussed, other than hitting laundry mats and grocery stores, we could just keep driving and take a trip around the country. It is that comfy and cool.

But still, I will miss the Blue Bunny once she goes.

For now, I can still keep hope alive that I can squeeze a bit more time out of her.

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For nostalgia’s sake if nothing else.

Memories last forever.

Have a fabulous graceless day!

 

 

 

 

 

The Mid-Week Hustle


Welcome to the midweek hustle!

If you’re reading this, you’re still breathing so be happy!

You may be going through a rough patch, hell, it may be a rough month/year but you are still on this planet breathing in and out, so be grateful.

So many have not made it this far.

I know personally it has been a challenging week for me.

I have been blessed to have wonderful humans in my life to help drag me from the brink and take care of me. Even when I think “I’m fine” and I am being stubborn they seem to keep sticking around.

I spent part of my weekend with my girls in Atlanta and oh how I needed it!

We didn’t “do” much, we did have a birthday party for a dear friend, but as far as getting out and doing things, no that didn’t happen other than dinner one night.

I didn’t go to sleep before 3:00 AM either night I was there!

I wish I could say I was up dancing and partying, however since I was up late 2 nights, anyone that knows me knows that isn’t possible!

I did, however, enjoy awesome, silly conversations with my friends, covering every topic we could think up! From our fashion faux pas, relationship, politics to what were are planning to eat, we discussed it all. We laughed until we cried and kept going. Let’s just say I was not an early riser those days!

I spent the rest of my child free time working, cleaning and with my someone special. We will see where it leads but I have a lot of hope this time around!

The best part of today is my boy comes home!

I have missed that little booger!

He’s went for his final week with his dad and grandparents and I know he had fun as I got updates, but golly gee do I miss him when he is gone.

Also today will be crazy hustle as early scheduling for work and then karate with my boy, then we again go to our happy place at the beach. Another fun family vacation! I wish I had my cousins and brother, sister-in-law and nephew going too as it is a lot of fun with so many helping hands, but we will have fun no matter what.

So I wish to end this on a happy, full of hope kind of note.

Always remember to Keep Hope Alive!

Stay fabulous my graceless friends!

Lady Maos

Falling apart together


*Most of my posts are about life and my thoughts, opinions and ideas, however, every once in a while I feel the urge to write so strong and am always amazed at how it comes out in different forms… this is one of those poems I tend to churn out when I have those moments. I hope you enjoy it. FB aka Lady Mao

Sometimes it feels like you’re falling apart.

So many things, so many false starts.

The deal you thought would surely come true.

The friend you thought you truly knew.

The wish you made upon that star.

The following day a scratch on your car.

Broken promises told yet again.

Then the rare find of an old, lost friend.

Suddenly life seems to be look up.

You find yourself drinking from a silver cup.

Yet you are weary from life, not sure what’s true.

Trusting seems to be hard for you.

Your outlook on life seems so cheery,

Yet deep inside you feel bleak and bleary.

You put on a smile, don’t wear that frown.

Think positive thoughts, don’t stop to look down.

Keep moving along faster than snail pace.

You might actually get through this life race.

You find hope in the most unlikely places.

You may even find hope in the spaces.

Places you never looked at before, become a haven for treasures galore.

Hope in fellow man seems likely once more, for once it seems there isn’t a war.

At least on this avenue through your passing of life.

Hold on, stay up, don’t give into strife.

Maybe I’ll see you while you’re passing though.

You’ll know then it’s not only you.

We all fall apart but can come back together.

Though this mortal coil may be light as a feather.

Please never give up, don’t forget who you are.

A beautiful human who wishes on stars.

Marvelous, manic but it’s still Monday


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Well, well, well Monday we meet again.

I say we should try this being friendly thing. I mean why not?

Why should we dread you this way?

All you ever did was get the name after we decided to count the time by the rotation of the sun. Months don’t get this bad rap the way Monday’s do.

So we should all try to be a little nicer to Monday’s. Try to have a better attitude.

In fact, try having a better attitude every Monday and see what happens!

I mean just have a little hope people… Keep Hope Alive!

Keeping it short and sweet yet full of hope for y’all my fabulous graceless friends!

Happiness and hope,

Lady Maos

 

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It’s a beautiful day!


Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day!

I’ve got a wonderful feeling, Everything’s going my way!

*lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II

 

Let’s make today a beautiful day!

Rain or shine, good or bad, find the beauty in the day, in yourself and in others.

Let today not be a day of assumptions and judgement, but let it be a day to be happy and have hope.

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Sometimes folks tend to get the Sunday afternoon blues thinking about Monday and the following week. Just stop it right now!

We need to live in the moment.

We are not promised tomorrow.

Why not live for happiness and goodness today?

Are you saving it up because I can tell you that happiness is endless and goodness is all about perspective.

Will bad things happen to some today? This is life so I am going with yes.

Though it is out of my control at this moment so I cannot dwell on what if’s and could’ve, should’ve and would’ve.

You should wave and smile, rock your invisible tiara people! This goes for the guys too!

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Smile at a stranger, in a friendly way, not in I’m going to eat your kidney with a nice Chianti and some fava beans kind of way!

Do something nice for someone that they aren’t expecting.

Or just be quite and not complain. That can be a gift in and of itself for some!

Whatever you do I hope you chose to have a beautiful, fabulous Sunday!

Always Keep Hope Alive!!!

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The weekend is here!


I may be just a tad bit happy that the weekend is finally here.

It’s been a long week my graceless friends!

I am sure so many have gone through hardships, pain and loss and I am hoping this weekend brings some bit of happiness to you all.

Just 2 short weeks ago I was in Hoppe Valley with my family and friends at the annual pig roast.

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It was an amazing amount fellowship, friends, fireworks and fun!

It seems like so long ago yet it was not! Ever noticed how you anticipate for months and months for something and then it happens and you are drunk on the bliss of being in the moment? Then it seems it is over in a flash. You are down like a kid after a tour in Willy Wonka’s factory the sugar high and rush has worn off and you are back in your hovel doing the day in and day out.

There you are counting down the days until next year and planning what you can do to make things even better though it will be hard to top this year!

This weekend I am celebrating with a different group of friends and one of my good friends turns the BIG 50! Happy Birthday CB!!!

I think we need a trip to a cabin in the hills again but will settle for dinner with this fine group of friends! I came across photos recently of me and my friend on that trip and how much we have changed in 10 years!

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You never think of yourself as old until it starts happening. Of course I am still young in my mind! Always!

So with those lovely chaotic thoughts I bid you a fine farewell and wish you a fantastically fabulous Saturday!

In fabulous gracelessness,

Lady Maos