Since I was a teenager I have had migraines.
Sometimes they are so intense I have to lie down in a dark, cold room and just lay there because I can’t really function. To walk feels like nails piercing my brain through the souls of my feet.
They used to make me so sick physically, but now I only have a bit of nausea, which I will take over praying to the porcelain god any day, thank you.
I’ve tried various medications and home remedies.
I have finally found a combination of both that help me at least get through one better but sometimes medication and sleep are the only relief.
The worst ones last for more than a day and yes, I have considered the Botox shot more than a few times due to the torture. I never thought I would be all for sticking a needle full of botulinum toxin into my head, but now there are times when I would happily pay to have someone shoot me up if it got rid of this 7th ring of hell in my head!
I sometimes put my hair, if I can bend over without getting sick or falling over, under freezing water until it penetrates my scalp and cools my brain off.
Often I will pull my hair from the roots to take the tension off my head.
Yes life with migraines is not all fun and games.
Though sometimes it is like a video game with the lights and auras I would prefer not to see with nails and knives digging into my brain.
I feel like I am disassociated with my body and that I am looking from the outside in.
I can function most of the time, but I know people that don’t know me and know how they affect me must think I am drinking or on drugs (I am but not the fun kind trust me) due to my slower responses. Or my really off the wall comments.
“You don’t feel well do you?”
“Oh just another migraine, is that a cat climbing up the wall? Wait that wasn’t what I meant!” That is an actual conversation I had with the boy’s teacher one morning! Once she realized I had a migraine she and I both laughed at my response. We get along very well and I always speak how I feel to her and vice versa but that one was new for her!
I guess I “look” normal to a degree.
I feel like I look crazed and would immediately look to see if there was a hospital band on my arm like I had escaped from a mental health facility!
I am actually writing this article while in the mists of a migraine.
I was scheduled to work and my patient was taken to the hospital. My first response was she ok. My new boss said I was really thoughtful as I’m sure there are those caregivers whose first response would be to ask if that meant no work. I can’t imagine not asking about the person taken to the hospital! And I don’t know the reason but I do know she is 94. I don’t care that she is 94 people live longer and have better quality of life I pray she is going to be fine. If my services are needed by her at a later time I do hope I get to meet her. If not it was meant to be. I can’t look at it any other way.
I told my boss I had a migraine and that I would be happy to fill in elsewhere if needed. She thanked me but the need was not there at the moment. And to take care of myself.
Now I am going over in my head the conversation because really, what if I said something about cat on the wall?! Not too cool!
I think all will be ok as when we got off the phone I remember us talking about my next job so keeping hope alive it is all good! I love this job!
So I finally put some food in me, a breakfast sandwich, go me! The photo shows proof I ate and also how it spills out is a bit how my head feels!
Yes food and coffee and water. My diet plan for the time being!
Now I am off to try to work and get things done. Slowly that is!
Just saying a little prayer that tomorrow there is no migraine hangover! Ugh!
Keep hope alive!
Have a fabulous day my friends!