Month: May 2016

It’s been a Year…and I will not stop!

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One year ago today I started writing FabulousGracelessness not having any clue as to what I was doing. I am still not completely sure but I know I am now a blogger! I love to write, I love a challenge and I did the unthinkable for me at the time… I started writing a blog and posting every day. I promised myself I would write daily for 365 days in a row. I could write more if I wanted, but I could not write any less. Sometimes it was easy and other times it was definitely not.

Today I have reached my one year milestone of daily blogging!

I look and I see the amazing progress I have made.

I actually have over 50 followers!

It’s mind boggling to me that a bit over 50 people are interested enough in my babblings to “follow” me! It’s also a bit scary because hello?! Following me can be dangerous!

I do know I will never stop writing. I can’t. It is a part of me. I know that I if I don’t write, I will wither in my soul.

I don’t think I will write daily. I will write often but I am not sure if I am down for pushing myself that hard. It’s like taking a break, but not. I am hoping to be able to focus more on writing other things. Things that may pay me for a change and not .5 cents a word!

Also, since I started blogging so many things in my life have changed, some in ways I was not expecting. I wasn’t working full time and I was dedicating my time to writing, household and family. It was harder than I thought it would be especially after I started working, first part-time and then full time. Some days it felt like a chore, and I never want that feeling about my personal blog because I enjoy writing and I would prefer to write my thoughts/opinions/observations/ideas & feelings here and there than just writing that is hit and miss daily. In this realm I am in charge and it feels good to know where I stand and where I need to be in my own self.

I know I have learned that I have an endless well of thoughts, feelings and information stored within me. I pull from that to try and form coherent thoughts, feeling and ideas with folks. I read, learn, talk, share and listen with others. Life offers so much if we just pay attention.

I think that is one of the many things I have learned through my writing… to be more creative, to observe and think on what I see. I try to write what I hear, feel and see. Sometimes I try to be objective but other times I write solely from my perspective.

I’ve learned that it sets me free to write. Words have power. Words communicate thoughts and feelings that are often unsaid.

I thought I would have some insight into writing and the blogging world. The truth is I am still learning. I know that blogging is helping me become a better human because it gives me an outlet to put my words out there. I may not always be able to articulate things. I may sometimes write rubbish and nonsense. The thing is, I write it, not anyone else. No ghost writer or guest blogger, still learning what that is for the record, just Fabulously Graceless me.

Now I see FabulousGracelessness as being my platform to keep putting my thoughts and views into the world. Only this time, I am not placing such a harsh schedule on myself! I know I can do it! After all, I have done it daily for a year.

I am pretty proud of myself!

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog!

I will be back soon with more tales of my crazy life!

Keeping hope alive for an even better second year!

I will not be going quietly into anything!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

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Things that matter to me

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Things that really matter to me

My son

My family… well most of them, some of them are quite crazy

My friends who are always there no matter what

My boyfriend and his awesome son

My job because I love taking care of others even when it makes me crazy

My health so I can do all the things I need to do, not just what I want to do

Having a roof over the boy’s head

Making sure the boy is cared for and knows that he is LOVED

Making sure those I love Know that I love them for who they are, not what they can do for me

Writing… I always knew and writing my blog confirmed for me it is something that makes me feel whole

Being kind to others, because sometimes you may be the only person who is nice to someone and it can make a difference

Having food to fuel my body and soul

Always having hope because hope leads to happiness which leads to love which gives you the ability to get through the storms in life knowing that you have hope, you’ll find happiness and life is so much better with love

Keep hope alive

Caverns and butterflies

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This past weekend I enjoyed visiting one of the oldest caverns in the United States right here in sweet home Alabama.

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I went with my boyfriend and our sons, a total of 4 of us trekking on an adventure. Naturally I am out-gendered, however I know how to run with the boys and even impress with my ability to keep up… in a few instances be in the lead and one moment, questioning my sanity, riding with the boy on a flip you upside down ride. I was actually proud of myself as I didn’t say any crude words just closed my eyes and laughed hysterically. I’m just thankful my man didn’t photograph or video that! Leave it to my 5 year old to want to ride that!

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Neither of us adults had been there in over 20 years. We learned that they had moved the main entrance; stairs are a liability, and also closed part of the cavern due to flooding. I think it made us both feel better because neither of us remembered going in the way we did. I thought I remembered a lot of stairs too. It’s kind of sad they had to close it off but it was still as awe inspiring and fun as it was when we were kids.

They’ve added a mini movie and a laser light show. Although amusing, the light show was kind of cheesy but still fun.

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We did get some awesome photos of the cavern, the scenery outside and of course ones with the kids being kids. His phone is newer than mine so the photos were better but we laughed at the photos we took of the same things from similar angles. It makes me want a camera or a better phone!

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We also visited the beautiful butterfly house. We went towards the end of the day so there weren’t too many people in there at all but the four of us and what seemed like a hundred butterflies. It was so beautiful. Sometimes it is nice to just observe the beauty.

Sometimes you need to just get out and go. Don’t worry so much about all the “chores” that need to be done because they will eventually get done. You don’t always get that chance to just enjoy the beauty in our natural surroundings. Take it when and while you can.

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Keep hope alive!

 

Barely closer to the weekend and closer to my one year mark

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One day closer into the week by a gnat’s hair.

I am also on the downward slide of writing daily for an entire year.

365 days in a row.

I’ve written more than once a day at times, but I made a promise to myself I would write daily. So far, I have stuck to it. It is not easy, but then I never thought I would be able to start a blog, much less be able to put something out daily. I know some days have really sucked content wise but other days, I feel like I put my all into it. It has been hard but it has been worth it!

I have learned more about myself and how people close to you react when you write publicly. That has been worth writing about for both recent and future content!

I have had some people that have stayed with me and others who are no longer in my life. I have lost friends and family in this past year. I have loved and lost and loved again. I am in love now and it is a beautiful thing.

Life has happened.

Life keeps happening.

So on this beautiful Tuesday, I wish you all Hope for a fabulous day!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

You never know what’s going to happen next… Live!

 

Fabulous hope for a new week

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I’m hoping this week starts out fabulous!

It’s a brand new week and I know that it is going to be what I make of it so I am choosing Fabulous!

There is so much to be thankful for in life.

I have plenty of regrets and what ifs, but I can’t continuously dwell on all of my shortcomings. I know them all. Much better than those who can so effortlessly point them out to me!

So for those who chose to point out the negatives, just please go! No time for you today!

Life is happening, goals to accomplish, lists to cross off… I pray that it is not too maotic and that good things really do happen.

Keep hope alive!!!

 

I see, I feel, I find

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I see beauty in the everyday things

My son’s sleepy smile

The purple sky photo

The rocks in the yard

The flowers starting to bud

The sun streaming through the window

Her laughter through the maos

The smile on his face

I feel love in the little things

A touch

A smile

A tear

I find myself in these things in life

 

Those end of year school programs… bring your own meds

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May seems the month we have more end-of-year functions for kids as I am learning. End of year programs, festivals, carnivals and graduations are weekly around these parts.

Children now graduate from Pre-K. And as I am learning, it is apparently a big deal. There is a presentation with brochure and everything. The boy has a role in the program and I am highly amused and slightly concerned! His other end-of-year programs are group things but this is the first time the boy will be one of two kids performing, and reading at that! Of course I am so proud and to be honest, I was kind of shocked. I communicate regularly with his teacher and we discuss his strong areas and what we need to work on, etc. but she didn’t mention this as she knew I would be happy! We are close. She knows I know there are rules but if he gets out of line she has my permission to treat him as her own and put him back into the line or out of the game all together! Of course, this is only Pre-K not “real school” per se.

And today we are at yet another end of year program which is his second for this “extra-curricular” activity in which he learns all kinds of fun skills, coordination, language, arts, working solo and as a part of a team. It’s a cool little deal and his second and last year to do it. He gets to perform and also will get a trophy. He loves the teacher and the kids so it’s worth it. Plus, I admit it’s quite entertaining to see around 40 kids between 4-6 dancing and performing! There are always a few who sit down and just stare… the boy did that on his first performance! Once he goes to “big school” a.k.a kindergarten they no longer offer this program. I am sure there will be “cooler” and probably more costly options though!

So to anyone attending one of these functions, I wish you the best of luck and sanity! As for me, I’ll be the mom volunteering calmly, thanks to medications.

Just keep swimming and keep hope alive!

 

Beginning life outside the comfort zone

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life begins happy friday

I have been going through so many phases in my life with so many changes to both my personal and professional life recently. Most all of them are good, some are challenging and others I just don’t even know how to categorize. I know that I have felt more alert and acutely aware at times.

Because of all of this there are other times when I am totally wiped from trying to do so many things and cover so many bases. I don’t need to be dropping my basket again, folks would start talking. Wagging their tongues like they know me when the reality is they have no idea about me. They see me, look at me, access from their perspective and judge me when they don’t even speak to me but at me. Where is their basis for judgment when you don’t communicate?

I actually work to make my life better. I work for myself, my son and the people I love in my life. I work to make my job better and I don’t do it for the money, but for the love of helping others.

Yet I am judged. I am no saint. I have made plenty of mistakes. I also know that if I don’t try things, I will never find full inner peace. I can’t go through life without living it. There will be bumps, dings and sometimes even big blow ups through this journey.

prison of how others see you

But I have to do it my way, on my terms, with the people I chose and not who someone else thinks I need to be doing their way. Last time I checked I am an adult, albeit one who sometimes wishes I could lay off the adulting at times, I still do all of my “adult chores.” I am also mommy to a small boy who counts on me… that’s responsibility. He is healthy and happy and has always had consistency with me. Sure we’ve had adventures and had really challenging things happen to us, but he has come through those challenges stronger, better and with his own quirky views and also compassionate and loving. He is also full speed ahead and a 5 year old boy who is curious, presses boundaries and is a human sponge. Life is never dull around him.

It is during these challenging times I find myself out of my comfort zone. During these outings, is where I find out more about myself and I realize I can’t let the judgment of others cloud what I need to do for me.

Step outside of your comfort zone for a bit. It’s good for you.

Keep Hope Alive!

 

I need a day off and some sleeeeeppppppp

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if you love them let them sleep

Sometimes I just need a day off.

I want to play hookey.

I don’t want to go into work.

I don’t want to adult.

I want someone to adult for me.

I want to sleep Please.

If you love me you will let me just sleep.

Or send me on a vacation where I can preferably sleep on the beach, eat good food, sleep in a big comfy bed, have people wait on me.

I think I need more than just a day.

Really trying to keep hope alive.

 

So much lists

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I’m always running around saying, “I’ve got so much to do.” I say it, I blog about it, I make lists, post its and try to set reminders – more written than digital because I guess I am just weird that way.

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For Mother’s Day, my fabulous sister-in-law gave me the absolute awesome gift of a note pad!

Before you all think I have gone too far around the bend let me just say I received amazing gifts from my son as well as a sweet drawing from another young boy who is pretty special to me as well. I love homemade gifts and gifts with thought behind it.. not that I don’t appreciate gifts it’s just I don’t feel like it’s something we need to go overboard with and I love the things my loved ones give me because it means they thought of enough of me as a Mother they acknowledged it.

In the case of my sister-in-law, she went with my love of writing mixed with my OCD of list and my absolute need and quirkiness of how I am!

I had to write in the tiny, cute boxes because well, it’s a new note pad and yeah, again with my oddities! I am thinking this could become a theme of amusement for me.

so much too

Not so sure that I need to share all of the ones I was thinking of, laughing hysterically writing down while trying to not be too loud because I was writing later in the evening and didn’t want to wake anyone. I mean I admit my mind is totally twisted sometimes and I am sure I don’t need to share everything that’s on my mind. I am not censoring myself I am just saving myself some grief! What I am sharing shows a glimpse into the insanity of my mind… further down the rabbit hole I go!

Now onto those things I really do need to get done!

I am keeping hope alive for a fabulous day!