Monday take 2… Tuesday


I seriously did not want to get up yesterday. I was all comfy and snuggled in bed and the alarm went off and I thought of 10 reasons I could stay home. I let snooze go off at least 5 times, maybe more. I got up running, got up the boys, made coffee and got ready and didn’t stop at work until I left and then took calls.

We are growing, the company I work for. It is an awesome thing. It is also exhausting at times. It’s emotional, wonderful, frustrating and I can’t imagine anything I would rather do and be paid to do. Other than like sleep or something like that. No reality TV for me… HA!

There is so much I have to accomplish. I am trying and the struggle is real. I feel like just trying to keep myself and the boy fed, watered and alive should be considered major accomplishments at the moment. I feel tired.

The truth is I am happier than I have ever been and I am also pretty stressed… a twisted dichotomy to be sure.

I have some things in my personal life that are just sucky and other things that make me so happy deep down in my soul.

I have Hope! Keep Hope Alive!

I also have a lot on my plate so I’m going to go get ‘er done.

Hopefully, after today, Monday will be over… until next week and the cycle will begin again. Hopefully with the same start and better maotic days!

As the late, great George Carlin said, “Holy shit it’s only Tuesday?!” I feel ya George, I do.

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Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Moms


Today is Mother’s Day.

We celebrate mother’s everywhere… well most of us do. Some of us aren’t as fortunate to have or have had a wonderful mother.

My own mom and I don’t always see eye to eye, in fact there are times I am sure she wonders how she gave birth to someone like me. However I do know without a doubt that she does love me. And I love her so very much.

Now that I am a mother myself I understand better all of the sacrifices she made to make my brother and I happy. It isn’t like she had to make these sacrifices but that she chose to.

I have so many friends that are also mothers.

I have many who want to be mothers but can’t for medical reasons.

I am here to tell you a little secret. There are so many definitions of what a mother truly is. Some women give birth but they chose to not be around their children. Some give their children up for adoption because they had no other options. Then there are the countless who raise other people’s children, both human and animal, who are so mother-esque that I feel they should be celebrated.

As someone who once struggled with infertility, I know the heartache of having a mother’s day come and to have empty arms. Or maybe a child is no longer here. It doesn’t make someone less than a mother. I have a friend whose son died. She had no other children. She is still a mother even though her son died. I have another friend who is a foster mom. She does not have “biological” children, yet she is a mom in every sense of the word.

Someone doesn’t have to “just give birth” to be a mother. Not everyone who produces a child is a mother… I have seen those who chose to give birth, even be there but do more harm than good. Some have even said they weren’t meant to be a mother.

A mother is someone who makes the choice to BE a mother. Be it mom, step-mom, aunt, god-mother or grandmother there is a choice to accept the awesome responsibility of being a mom.

For that I thank you for choosing to stick around and stay to make another life better and loving unconditionally. Even on the bad days!

Celebrate those mothers in your life today!

Have a beautiful day!

Keep hope alive!!

 

Can we just potty in peace please?


For the love people!

Lately everyone is all up in arms about Target announcing that they support transgender folks and allow them to use the restroom they identify with. All they are doing is following suit as to the hundreds of other big name companies already doing so. The difference is, people are seem to now have ” a say” on the issue. You need to check the list if you’re truly going to “boycott” and go all the way with it. Which means you won’t be able to shop at most of your current big companies, your cable options are slim and forget letting your kids watch anything Disney related. Just for starters.

Let’s be real for a minute. How many of you would even know if you were sharing a bathroom with a trans person? Chances are good that not many because they don’t run around saying “Oh I’m trans and I’m going to be sharing the stall next to you!” I’ve gone to thousands of public restrooms in my life and I never once questioned someones gender. Body odor yes, but I don’t “check out” who is in the stall next to me.

I recently read an article from a woman who went to the bathroom and had another woman look into the stall to see if “she was a girl.” This is more jacked up than I can even begin to describe. I may look to see if a stall is free but I’m not looking to see a person’s business, much less make eye contact while they are letting it go and dropping off the kids at the pool. What is WRONG with people?! The lady who was, looked at, was female from birth, not that it matters, and also has a daughter who is a lesbian. Her daughter felt bad for the person. I’m still outraged someone would do this at all. Ladies, have we forgotten the girl code of only building each other up and not acting like it’s high school and you’re on hall patrol?

Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. Back in 2001 when I lived in Berkeley, CA there was a female (born male) who worked with me and it was asked of the ladies if we had any issues with her using our bathroom – NO ONE, not even the 70 year old bookkeeper had an issue with it. She never looked at our business and we never looked at hers. I was jealous of her wardrobe though, way better than mine!

Weirdo’s and pedophiles will still attack because that’s what they do. Also, anyone attacking someone in a public restroom has serious issues. There are not a lot of instances of this happening and when it does happen, it is people who have more than a few screws loose and have been doing it since BEFORE this became an issue.

So all I am asking is can we please go in peace? I don’t need to worry about someone’s husband/boyfriend/father coming into the restroom because they “thought” someone looked like a dude. Seriously. Please get a grip. Worry about the state of our country or maybe even your own neighborhood, but not the bathroom!

I am only sharing my views and opinions on my blog. You may feel differently and that’s okay. We are all human. How about we try to treat each other with a bit of respect instead of tearing each other down?

Happy places, my mind and good memories


Whenever I realize I need to calm the hell down, I search my mind for a happy memory.

Lately my life has been so maotic I can’t even remember to do the basic things I need to do. I have missed calls, texts and emails. I have missed deadlines, lunches and people who counted on me. It may not be that extreme but it is pretty close.

I have had absolutely fabulous things happen in my world. Things I couldn’t imagine would be so wonderful but that also require me to give of myself which I gladly do.

The boy is definitely a highlight of my universe. I think he is working on his own comedy bit. Finding humor in everyday life, he has been quite full of it. A fine example is the other evening after his bath, we were putting on his lotion and he accidentally slung it on my face. When I pointed out he had flung it onto my glasses he exclaimed, “WELL CAN YOU SEE? If you can’t see then I definitely need to apologize, but if you can see, well then that’s just funny!” All said while wildly gesturing naked, of course. It made me laugh when I really needed it and it makes me laugh just thinking about it.

I think of people and places that make me happy. I think of nature and how much I love being out in it, even in the rain. I think of flea markets and nature preserves, of beaches and mountains. I think of the endless possibilities of people and situations that make my life better, richer and so much more entertaining.

I guess I am trying to say, when you feel like you are slipping and you’re grasping at the strings of life in the mist of the maos, find something inside of you that makes you happy. The good, warm in your belly kind of happy. We all deserve that.

Keep hope alive!

 

Happy Cinco de Mayo!


happy cinco de mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all of my fabulously graceless readers!

I hope you all enjoy this fabulous day!

Maybe you will get to enjoy an adult beverage or a fabulous fiesta, I know I am hoping to! Of course life happens when I make plans so I can only hope for the best!

I will be keeping hope alive as always!

 

It’s the middle of the week so I pretend I’m superwoman


It’s the middle of another fabulous week!

Depending on the time of day it’s either on the upward trek or the downward slope to the weekend.

I’m hoping for downward slope! Or maybe not it’s another work weekend for me. No rest for the wicked and all of that happiness.

u r u dr seuss

For me trying to juggle being mommy, relationships, work, writing, life – it can be a bit overwhelming. I don’t give up easily but I do make concessions I’ve come to realize.

I used to be so anal about making sure certain things were done. I was more organized and it sounds like a good thing but in reality I was stressing out if I didn’t follow through on the schedules and deadline I set for myself. After I became a parent it seemed to only get worse. Becoming a single parent really put the kibosh on having everything “just so”. I’m proud when I keep the boy alive, fed and happy and when I keep him and his friend alive, fed and happy I feel like I am freaking superwoman!

sometimes superhero

I know we can all be overwhelmed with the zingers life tosses us.

We just can’t give up, even when giving up seems to be the best option.

You may have more people depending on you than you realize. Just to see your face, hear your voice or know you’re still out there helps them.

So be you, have a fabulous day and keep hope alive!

 

 

It’s not there, it’s there, it’s gone, you miss it


Have you ever gone without something and suddenly it’s in your life and when you don’t have it around you miss it? It can be a device, a food, a place, a person, an animal or situation.

It doesn’t matter because I have noticed that if you go along in life and you discover something that touches something so deeply in you it is natural for you to want more.

It can be your fancy phone, peanut butter banana ice-cream, a friend or someone you love, a dog or suddenly taking care of someone you weren’t expecting to see but love doing it. It can be Anything but I can guarantee once you have it in your world, it becomes a part of you and when it is gone you miss it.

Maybe you didn’t do anything but suddenly the phone breaks.

They run out of that ice cream.

Your friend steals from you.

The love of your life has to move away from you.

Your dog decides to take up with the neighbors.

You care recipient gets well and no longer needs you there.

Then what? How do you react?

You can get a new phone.

You can live without that particular ice cream though it may be hard.

But your friend, your love, your dog and the one you care for… those are more personal. Those hurt more when they are gone.

Maybe your friend will be honest and come clean. You can re-build that relationship.

Maybe your love will get to stay or you get to go with them.

Maybe your dog will come home.

Maybe you realize you need to care for others and find a new calling.

There are so many maybes.

There is so much hope.

Life is sudden. It is slow, fast, violent, sweet, loving, obscene, painful, and bitter and so much more.

Life Is.

Make the most of it and enjoy those that you love while you have it.

You never know when the ride will end.

Keep Hope Alive!

 

Inspiration


There is so much that inspires me.

People, places, situations, relations, observations.

LIFE.

Sometimes my creative mind seems to stop.

I can see bits and pieces of the movies in my mind but I can’t find a way to see the whole picture.

In my writings it comes out as shorts and fragmented pieces. It makes sense to me but I know it often doesn’t to others.

I feel more motivated lately.

I realized how much happier I am enjoying life than being a slave 24/7 to work and deadlines. I am beginning to find some sort of balance even with movable parts and constant change. I am learning a new normal that flows most of the time.

The people come from all corners of the world and my life. Some who know each other and some don’t. Some who I don’t know but feel like I do hearing their stories shared by those I love to me, knowing I may write but I would never reveal the who or why.

Life is inspiring.

Sometimes you just have to find a new perspective.

There will always be fragments, but there will always be sources of inspiration as well.

Keep Hope Alive.

 

May flowers


daisy flowers

Today is the first day of May

According to the rhymes and stories we should begin seeing the May flowers if we aren’t already seeing those beautiful blooms springing up after all of the April showers

Depending on where you live you may have had rain or snow… or maybe it was dry where you are

I felt the rains of April deep in my bones

I know the storms aren’t over but I am looking forward with hope and faith

I’m looking for those May flowers and the beauty they hold

purple flowers