I have been going through so many phases in my life with so many changes to both my personal and professional life recently. Most all of them are good, some are challenging and others I just don’t even know how to categorize. I know that I have felt more alert and acutely aware at times.
Because of all of this there are other times when I am totally wiped from trying to do so many things and cover so many bases. I don’t need to be dropping my basket again, folks would start talking. Wagging their tongues like they know me when the reality is they have no idea about me. They see me, look at me, access from their perspective and judge me when they don’t even speak to me but at me. Where is their basis for judgment when you don’t communicate?
I actually work to make my life better. I work for myself, my son and the people I love in my life. I work to make my job better and I don’t do it for the money, but for the love of helping others.
Yet I am judged. I am no saint. I have made plenty of mistakes. I also know that if I don’t try things, I will never find full inner peace. I can’t go through life without living it. There will be bumps, dings and sometimes even big blow ups through this journey.
But I have to do it my way, on my terms, with the people I chose and not who someone else thinks I need to be doing their way. Last time I checked I am an adult, albeit one who sometimes wishes I could lay off the adulting at times, I still do all of my “adult chores.” I am also mommy to a small boy who counts on me… that’s responsibility. He is healthy and happy and has always had consistency with me. Sure we’ve had adventures and had really challenging things happen to us, but he has come through those challenges stronger, better and with his own quirky views and also compassionate and loving. He is also full speed ahead and a 5 year old boy who is curious, presses boundaries and is a human sponge. Life is never dull around him.
It is during these challenging times I find myself out of my comfort zone. During these outings, is where I find out more about myself and I realize I can’t let the judgment of others cloud what I need to do for me.
Step outside of your comfort zone for a bit. It’s good for you.
Keep Hope Alive!
fabulousgracelessness 
🙂 You’re finally “getting” it, as I knew you would; no matter what umm one person may say out of hurt or insecurity, deep down I am SURE they are very proud of you…the person you’ve become as a whole…mama, professional, daughter, friend, blogger 🙂 and all around human being. Everyone faces challenges in this life, does not matter their social or economic status, their health, or who they are on the inside, everyone fights their own war inside themselves, it’s up to the individual to fight those demons, and even embrace them to overcome and be the best they can be. We never ever stop learning and growing, not until our last breath, or rather we should try to keep growing and learning till our time comes. Personally, lol I am no saint, far from it, but I have overcome more than my share of challenges in life that I would not wish on my worse enemy. With a few exceptions that haunt me more than some may realize, I have overcome those challenges with grace, my head held high, and in my own way, on my own terms, simply by being me, because I know no other way to be.( sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes not). The “day” I learned to step out of my comfort zone; the day I sent out on a journey to Parris Island, partly due to a friend who taught me to live with honor, honesty, and VALOR was the day I learned to LIVE and not just exist. No one is ever too old, or facing however many challenges, positive or negative, to step out of the Comfort Zone, and begin to live the life they were destined to LIVE. To this very day, no matter what negative or insecure thoughts, or fears may creep into my brain, I sincerely look down at some scars on my left knuckles and I remember that authentic life of Valor I was determined to live, no matter how scary those comfort zones I have stepped out of over the years. I may not have always done it gracefully, but I did it. Some of us come into our selves when we are younger, some of us when we are older or middle age, but what is most important is that we DO IT. There is nothing wrong, no shame in, being a “later bloomer”. Better late than never is so much better than realizing at the end of our lives that we never truly “LIVED” at all, or that we lived according to others standards or how/what they wanted to be.
Step out of those “comfort zones” my friend, LIVE the life and be the person YOU were destined to be, because you are unique, a one of a kind, and unlike anyone I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I wish for you peace, contentment, happiness, success , and most of all for you to learn to accept, like, and love yourself, as much as you do others. Treat yourself the way you treat others, and always be YOURSELF, and you will find a joy and peace like you have never known. I have never claimed to have/know all the answers; you have taught be many things simply by being your authentic self, and I hope in some way, I have done the same for you. Remember NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE; May you ” Shine on You Crazy Diamond” 🙂
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