Courting Nostalgia

Currently I am courting nostalgia of only 2 short years ago.

I had dropped an email into the wrong file and I clicked onto another file, still not the right one but this was much, much better.

I tumbled into my memories from where I was and what was happening in my life.

I stepped back into a world where my loved ones had not departed this plane and my big love dog was loping around the house to dance party time. The boy was yet to be potty trained and I was on the wild ride of life.

I was learning how to be a single parent.

I was employed and one of my best friends and I had reunited for another go as roomies.

I was preparing to head north for our yearly trek for the annual pig roast at my sister’s home.

I was driving back and forth from Tennessee to Alabama to spend time with my family, my parents, and my daddy.

So much of my life felt like it was on hold or in a holding pattern due to circumstances beyond my control.

Two years doesn’t seem like long but now seems like a lifetime.

I dig deeper into my memories.

I remember laughing hysterically with my roomie, my boy, big dog and the kitties.

She taught the boy goofy games and silly things to do and how to eat with clothespins.

I remember going to the lake with my family and watching my son and my daddy “fish” together. The boat ride we went on and how I knew that time was precious and I took none of it for granted.

I remember the trip to Pennsylvania with 3 adults and a kid in diapers and how we laughed so hard we cried and even had to pull over, a flawlessly executed maneuver in major traffic, so my girl could get sick and then felt better. Our trip was sorely needed and I got to see my sister, brother in law, niece and nephew along with the rest of my Yankee family.

No I did not take this for granted. Not one minute of the time.

The movies in my mind of this time of my life seem almost like old black and whites now.

I allow them all to wash over me and assault me for I will never forget them.

I hold them close to my heart, these precious memories.

For you see, my wonderful roomie passed away peacefully, but unexpectedly in her sleep one night. I still miss my sister and the woman who was tiny yet impossibly strong and would give you the clothes off her back and help anyone who needed it.

My strong daddy, my rock, finally lost his brave battle to the insidious cancer that ravaged his body in the end. I miss him daily and sometimes so much that it pains me physically.

Big Love aka Jethro aka our fur bebe doggy passed because it was just his time.

My career path has changed along with my state of residence.

My son is now well potty trained along with growing up to no longer be considered by son as my “little” boy.

One of my happy constants is our annual pilgrimage to PA for the pig roast with my sister and the Yankees.

But as I dip my toes into the memories of my past I remember the happiness, the conversations, and the love.

I pull from my family and friends, old and new, and new again.

I harness the love, hope and prayers and I make it through another day.

I watch my boy grow into a young man, slowly but it’s happening far faster than I would like.

So I slide back into this warm pool of my past.

I close my eyes and hear the laughter, the advice, feel the love and happiness, taste the worry but always I keep hope alive.

The bridge from then to now is my hope.

Have a fabulous Sunday!

 

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