See the beauty of the sky
Taste the whisper of the lie
Smile upon the innocent child
Keep them safe, the meek and mild
Hold them close
Those you love dear
For life changes
With each passing year
Believe in yourself
And each other
For you see
We are all sisters and brothers
Human beings
We are as one
Shining brightly
Like the sun
Truth can hurt. It can be painful and cutting.
Relationships can be destroyed and friendships lost.
It can also be freeing. It can give you that exhale you’ve been waiting on for far too long.
People don’t always tell the truth. Sometimes they have different version of the truth. Nicer, cleaner. Not so dirty and hateful.
Some don’t want to recall their actions and deeds that hurt the ones they claimed to love.
Others take full responsibility of their faults and mistakes.
I have been called brutally honest.
That is painful in ways but also very true.
I know I don’t always want to see or accept the truth.
I know that I could never ignore it no matter how hard it may be to face.
For the old saying, the truth shall set you free, is so very true.
As is the truth can destroy.
The balancing act of truth telling is as fragile as a flower.
Now go have a fabulous day and ponder the truth of happiness!
Welcome to the midweek hustle!
If you’re reading this, you’re still breathing so be happy!
You may be going through a rough patch, hell, it may be a rough month/year but you are still on this planet breathing in and out, so be grateful.
So many have not made it this far.
I know personally it has been a challenging week for me.
I have been blessed to have wonderful humans in my life to help drag me from the brink and take care of me. Even when I think “I’m fine” and I am being stubborn they seem to keep sticking around.
I spent part of my weekend with my girls in Atlanta and oh how I needed it!
We didn’t “do” much, we did have a birthday party for a dear friend, but as far as getting out and doing things, no that didn’t happen other than dinner one night.
I didn’t go to sleep before 3:00 AM either night I was there!
I wish I could say I was up dancing and partying, however since I was up late 2 nights, anyone that knows me knows that isn’t possible!
I did, however, enjoy awesome, silly conversations with my friends, covering every topic we could think up! From our fashion faux pas, relationship, politics to what were are planning to eat, we discussed it all. We laughed until we cried and kept going. Let’s just say I was not an early riser those days!
I spent the rest of my child free time working, cleaning and with my someone special. We will see where it leads but I have a lot of hope this time around!
The best part of today is my boy comes home!
I have missed that little booger!
He’s went for his final week with his dad and grandparents and I know he had fun as I got updates, but golly gee do I miss him when he is gone.
Also today will be crazy hustle as early scheduling for work and then karate with my boy, then we again go to our happy place at the beach. Another fun family vacation! I wish I had my cousins and brother, sister-in-law and nephew going too as it is a lot of fun with so many helping hands, but we will have fun no matter what.
So I wish to end this on a happy, full of hope kind of note.
Always remember to Keep Hope Alive!
Stay fabulous my graceless friends!
Lady Maos
*Most of my posts are about life and my thoughts, opinions and ideas, however, every once in a while I feel the urge to write so strong and am always amazed at how it comes out in different forms… this is one of those poems I tend to churn out when I have those moments. I hope you enjoy it. FB aka Lady Mao
Sometimes it feels like you’re falling apart.
So many things, so many false starts.
The deal you thought would surely come true.
The friend you thought you truly knew.
The wish you made upon that star.
The following day a scratch on your car.
Broken promises told yet again.
Then the rare find of an old, lost friend.
Suddenly life seems to be look up.
You find yourself drinking from a silver cup.
Yet you are weary from life, not sure what’s true.
Trusting seems to be hard for you.
Your outlook on life seems so cheery,
Yet deep inside you feel bleak and bleary.
You put on a smile, don’t wear that frown.
Think positive thoughts, don’t stop to look down.
Keep moving along faster than snail pace.
You might actually get through this life race.
You find hope in the most unlikely places.
You may even find hope in the spaces.
Places you never looked at before, become a haven for treasures galore.
Hope in fellow man seems likely once more, for once it seems there isn’t a war.
At least on this avenue through your passing of life.
Hold on, stay up, don’t give into strife.
Maybe I’ll see you while you’re passing though.
You’ll know then it’s not only you.
We all fall apart but can come back together.
Though this mortal coil may be light as a feather.
Please never give up, don’t forget who you are.
A beautiful human who wishes on stars.
One day closer to the weekend.
Thursday is just kind of hanging out there.
Not too much is said unless you get a long weekend and it starts on Thursday!
Although it seems to usually be a pretty decent day when I think about it.
For example, tomorrow I just have to do a bit of work, drive to the country, write and enjoy life!
At least I am trying to put the positive spin on it.
The boy leaves for his camping trip today.
I did get to see him last night at karate though. He got his green belt. I’m both proud and impressed as he is a handful and most of the time he does what he’s told and follows direction. Of course not ALL the time. He’s almost 5 and is constantly on the move and in conversation!
I told him I would come and he would go home with daddy or his other grandmother and he was fine with it. I told him when he came back from his week vacation with them that we would go to the beach and he ran yelling though the house, “We’re going to the beachhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Yes, just a touch excited and loving the beach like his mama!
But then he cried and said he didn’t want me to go home without him.
Even though I KNOW he is going through this phase of turning on the tears to get what he wants, it kills me a little inside to not be able to say, “Ok kiddo, let’s go with me.” It isn’t how it works with this scenario and he knows it too. And not that he gets away with it around me, I invented the “turn on the tears” to try and get what I wanted when I was his age!
So I sat in the car and shed a few tears, then went and got my mama and we had a lovely dinner at the Olive Garden,
The boy is camping with his other family, probably being like lord of the flies and eating the filling out of the Oreos and putting them back in the package and having a blast.
I am working and writing and trying to find a bit of peace in my mind.
I hope you are able to find a bit of peace and/or sanity today as well.
Or if you’re starting your weekend early, please have 2 for me!
We are almost to the end of this crazy week!
Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!
Have a fabulous Thursday and stay graceless my friends!
Ah Monday we meet again!
The beginning of another work week, the start of a brand new week…. What do you have in store for me?!
I know I get to work, knit and clean, but what other jewel will you offer up to me?!
For you see, I have decided to have a Marvelous Monday.
I’ve had enough of manic Mondays. There will always be manic Mondays because that is a part of life.
I thought I would find the positive and go with the good flow, happiness and memories to carry me through the day, if not the week.
I am trying another perspective on the Monday thing.
A more positive spin if you will.
I was blessed to spend the weekend with some absolutely fabulous humans and I want to carry their awesomeness with me through this week.
Their outlooks on life shared with me, and they were all from all walks of life, and these wonderful humans also shared their time and space with me.
We ate, talked, danced and even shared comfortable silence together.
Just humans being.
Too often we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to take in those jewels of life. We get caught up in the routines and schedules, yes they are needed, but we also need to remember to breathe and reflect for just a moment when we are running through life. I found that’s when those jewels are discovered.
So I challenge you to try and have a Fabulous Marvelous Monday.
Or even a Terrific Tuesday if you are all about skipping Monday. There is nothing wrong with that!
But try to try and find a way to catch that needed jewel in your life, whatever it may be.
I know I am sending out the hope!
Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous and fantastic Marvelous Monday my Fabulously Graceless Friends!
*me channeling my Loretta Lynn “do”!
I hate this emptiness.
My boy goes to his dad’s for a few days every other week.
You’d think I would be used to it after 2 years but I’m not.
I am already dreading his 2 weekends in a row away from me.
God knows I do need a break.
I know he will have fun.
I can’t help but worry.
It isn’t like we didn’t try to make it work.
We went to couples therapy before we even got married, however in hindsight, I realize we shouldn’t have married just because I got knocked up.
But it was a miracle I was able to have a child, our families felt it was right and we had been best friends for so long.
I was in a whirlwind of shock.
I tried so hard and I know he did too.
But if we are honest, it wasn’t the best idea.
And a treasured friendship was shattered.
But we got a beautiful, smart, willful, amazing child from it.
So I work on the “co-parenting” thing.
But my arms ache for my little mini me in male form.
And I breathe.
Because I can’t do anything else.
I write for him too so that one day he knows how much it hurt me to let him go but that I had to.
I know he will understand.
He just came to me, put his little arms around my neck, and said, “Mommy, I know you’re working but I just had to tell you I love you and you’re the bestest mommy I ever had.”
How could I not miss that?!
I have written how much it meant to me to be his mommy. How I never thought I would be a mommy. How happy I am he chose me to be his mommy “this time” as he puts it.
His journals from his mommy.
Stories and poems of my life before him, my thoughts and dreams and how he was a part of my dreams.
Later I will be mom or even mother, but for now I am mommy.
When he is not with me I miss him more than I ever knew was possible.
I love this child with a feral intensity that I didn’t know I was capable of.
I’m thankful he has family on both sides that love him and want to be with him.
I know how precious that is.
I know I want only the best for him but I can’t do everything.
I know I make mistakes and that I am far from perfect.
I know I can’t control how everything plays out.
I know I will never stop loving him no matter what he chooses.
I know I will never stop fighting for him and being his strongest supporter.
I know I will never stop teaching him how to be a better human being.
I know I will never stop disciplining him, even when he’s 30 because I know I will always be his mama. No matter where I am.
So now I will write in his journal and look at pictures of this beautiful creature I created and be thankful I have him for the time I am given.
Because I am thankful I have him at all.
All I need is just a little more time.
A little more time for work.
A little more time for play.
A little more time for others.
A little more time for me.
Please.
Just help me find a little more time.
Otherwise, I feel I’m slipping.
Falling.
Out of sorts.
Struggling to catch up.
Struggling to catch all the “balls” I have in the air.
Watching some of them fall.
No way I can catch them all.
Being me I will pick up the pieces the best I can.
I will find a way.
I won’t lose hope today.
I will always keep hope alive.
But I won’t stop wishin’ for just a little more time.
Today we have Manic Monday in 3D!
This gal is on her way back home from the great northern adventures and visiting with friends and family!
I am sure there will be things that do not go according to plan, Mr. Murphy please take those laws and go!
We’ve no time for all that!
For we are going down the highway of life and living it to the fullest!
There’s no need for the dramas and the trials today!
Nor for any other!
So yes we have frantic, manic, even sometimes panic Mondays!
That does not mean we do not face them head on and break on through to the other side! Thank you Mr. Jim Morrison!
I urge you to Never Lose Hope!
Never give up!
Always Keep Hope Alive!
Especially on manic Mondays!
Have a great one Y’all!
Stay Fabulous!
Sometime I feel like a misplaced person.
Like I am flitting about from place to place trying to find where I belong.
I feel like I am struggling to fit in, to be accepted for who I am.
I feel like things get tough and I have to choose to live or die and I chose to live.
I know I make mistakes during these times.
I know the costs.
I know the damage I have done and the penance for these actions.
I pay them.
Gladly.
For I know in paying them I find answers and healing.
And maybe just maybe I will find my place.
fabulousgracelessness 