america

Fabulous Friday readying for weekend fun

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

b chaos

Its Friday my fabulously graceless friends!

No matter what happens I am keeping hope alive today, because for me and mine it’s the day the boys “aunties” come from TN & GA, the birthday party weekend where we get to see friends and family, make new friends and have fun.

We have been celebrating all week more or less.

It has not been a constant barrage of gifts because this crazy mama isn’t made of money, and even if I was I wouldn’t give the boy gifts all the time as he gets plenty of “surprises” in the off season when it isn’t a birthday or holiday. He realizes excess now and will go, “Oh yeah, I forgot I have all those toys, I am going to play with my Ninja Turtles” or whatever it is he wants to play with. I encourage him to be creative and not watch as much TV, it’s pretty much a split on who wins that one depending on time frames and other random things but I know he has a wickedly funny imagination. He “pretends” a lot. A costume that is one thing can often become something else in his fascinating mind. He got a TMNT costume for his birthday, it a little big, but I have a feeling things are going to get a bit more ninja like for a while around the house.

Did I mention his “aunties” are coming?! This is one of those things I’m excited about because they are my “sisters” and when they boy was born, have been there every step of the way for both of us. Tonight the boy will get to enjoy his mommy and aunties laughing hysterically and having fun. Saturday will be the night we get to stay up late since his party is in the morning. What was I thinking again? Oh yeah get it done and hang out with friends and of course, football! Roll Tide! 

So I am keeping this post short and sweet as this crazy mama needs here energy!

I hope that everyone has a fabulous Friday and an absolutely splendid weekend!

b ninja

 

 

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I ended up watching the Republican Presidential Debates – just wow

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

So I chose to watch some of the Republican Presidential debate. Oh wow. It is a scary thing to view but there seems to be a common thread, they don’t like Hillary Clinton or too many members of the Democratic Party!

Since Fabulously Gracelessness is not wanting to get into a political debate or have folk bash me let me say I am just doing my research for the upcoming elections.

I am watching “the weeding” earlier than I think I have watched in a long time. I am totally fascinated. Of course I had to share my thoughts and observations.

I am the first to admit I do not know all the facts about everything that is going on in this world, nor all of the players who are running for the office of the President of the United States.

I do try to read up and learn more about world issues as well as problems and issues in our own country and my home state.

Watching the debate it is interesting to see how these men and the one woman respect each other, or not. They all cut each other off at times but how it is done and the words they use is different depending who they are addressing, snubbing or if they agree with another candidate, how they respond to them. Their body language and eye contact speaks volume of the person inside. It’s entertaining to see some of them gang up on others. Like they will leap frog over one, a wolf in sheep’s clothing agreeing, smiling, talking nice before they attempt their aggression and sparring amongst themselves. I enjoy watching the ones who can shut the others ones down. I like hearing the ones who truly know what is going on and seem to be respectful to those they are running against.

Of course before I write anything I have to fact check and do a bit of research. So I pulled up the website 2016.republican-candidates.org and the site had crashed. Seriously, so many people were looking it up apparently the site couldn’t handle the traffic, so I went to my trusty Wikipedia. I looked up the people who are running on the republican side, they were on the TV so it’s not like I am disregarding the Democratic Party candidates they were just not on at the moment. After reading about them and watching tonight I have a feeling I will be keeping a close eye on this election.

It’s fascinating to see how some people truly think they have a chance. For some of them I would love to see them get closer, if nothing else to be able to prove their worth or show their true colors. While others I feel are wasting time and shoving out people who may have otherwise had a shot.

I have laughed out loud at some and shouted at others. Seriously I wonder what medication a few were on. My 5 year old tells stories I can follow better than some of the folks running for our country’s highest office. At least follow the path from point A to point B. At first I thought it was me not understanding the topic, however the looks of the other candidates and the commentator made me feel better about that person having no idea what they were talking about.

We live in a scary world. I am raising my child in this world. I was enchanted by politics in my younger years, but was also somewhat rebellious citing “my vote doesn’t count”. I also did not moan and complain about our President like a lot of people did. I still participated in the states and communities lived in but when it came to national matters, I stayed quiet. I have voted in the last 4 elections and still don’t feel like my vote “matters” as much but I feel like I have done something more to help better society by raising my voice and saying “this is my opinion and this person is the closest match to how I feel about things.” Sadly I do feel like I can only chose the lesser of the two evils.

I remember how I would get so excited with the possibilities of the candidates and then when the final election came to pass I felt cheated. Even if the person I voted for (whether locally or nationally) won, I still felt like the ones who would have done a better job were shut out and shut down early on.

2 of the candidates are in my age bracket. That was such a sobering moment for me I actually had a few sips of an adult beverage!

I know I am an adult and I know that this is a possibility but to see it and hear it from the mouths of my generation kind of put a different perspective on things for me.

I have been more active in my community and state in a broader capacity than I ever was before. Maybe it’s my age or the fact I now have a child who will be living in the world we help mold, I don’t know but it scares the hell out of me. I now understand how my parents and grandparents felt and why it could get so volatile in conversations between the Democrats and Republicans in my family.

When in conversations with people I tread very, very lightly on the topic of politics and religion. I have seen first-hand how innocent comments can start heated debates. I have seen people who were friends look at each other with complete disgust due to their opinions and beliefs. It’s just as bad as Alabama and Auburn football feuds but on a bigger scale.

We ALL have different opinions, beliefs and feelings. Some are more personal than others. The problem is we forget our manners, as do politicians, and begin the judging and mudslinging more suited to high school than running for the office of President of the United States.

Maybe as I age I am more cynical but I am not sure that is it.

I truly do have hope. I continue my motto of Keep Hope Alive.

Sometimes hope is all we have.

I am sure I will have a few more thoughts on these topics as the elections continue.

I will keep watching the “weeding” following up to the primaries. It is always interesting and entertaining. Also a bit scary.

Keep Hope Alive!

Have a wonderfully fabulous day my graceless friends.

9/11/01 – I can never forget

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

never forget 9 11 01

As I started to write my post I remembered the date. September 11, 2015.
It’s Friday. I usually write about happy Friday randomness or whatever strikes my fancy to let flow.
However, I can’t Not acknowledge what this date means to me. How my life and my perspective on life change that fateful day, September 11, 2001, as I am sure it did for countless others.
I have/do write in journals. I keep all of my journals from the past 15ish years close by me and read them randomly. Sometimes they call to me to re-read certain time periods or situations. I feel it is so I can reflect and maybe even learn from them. Or maybe I am to share them.
In January of 2001 I moved to California, specifically the Berkeley area. I lived with my then husband and several friends as it wasn’t cheap living out there, but it seemed so much more “free” in many ways than living in the south. I can’t explain it. I was 30 years old and felt like I needed a new adventure in my life. We had friends out there so why not just go? So we packed up our home, put it in storage and took a tiny trailer and our cat and moved to California. I have read and re-read that journal so many times the cover is starting to fall apart. So many experiences of life and seeing things through a different perspective. Also reading it now 14 years later still blows my mind. One of my favorite books I read that year was the “Tibetan Art of Parenting”. I was into trying to find out who I was and praying for a child. I was also writing but only in my journal. I was stepping outside of my comfort zone, trying new things, meeting new people.
Three days before the fateful events of 9/11/01 I had written in my journal about truly living life and that many things of this world were an illusion. How time is valuable but we don’t always notice it until there is a time limit placed on your life to force you to get on with things.
Direct excerpts from my journal 9/11/01 – please forgive the fragmented sentences:
“AM – west coast – the World Trade Center is no more. Part of the Pentagon has collapsed, terror attack on the U.S. – can’t even think of going into work. No one is. Always knowing your country wasn’t “secure” yet being told it was… I don’t like being right. It’s getting later, almost 11AM here, and nothing as of yet on the west coast. Will there be? Questions. Everyone is jumpy and edgy. News of joy over what happened to the US in Gaza. Now we know what it is like for them.
This has happened before, it will happen again unless we do something.
A dream fragment from being ripped awake this morning by roomie, “weird stuff going on I am sorry you need to get up”.
Flash of a plane, a man of maybe middle eastern decent screaming with “important brass& Showing the world.” Time wasn’t there.
Later – I finally talked to several friends and family on the east coast and everyone is freaked. Fragments of this day pass through my mind. This tragedy of Armageddon is bringing folks together. Over 10,000 dead they are saying… that is horror. Life continues but change has happened. I am drained. I have cried off and on all day. I cannot imagine what it is like for others. The death and destruction. The United States of American has been shaken to the core. I am freaked out, but not terrorized because I cannot let them have my faith, my soul. I am touched by the humanity shown all over the US. The fact we were “impenetrable” was just an illusion. Maybe this was needed. We are far from blemish free.”
Today I feel that no words can articulate how I feel yet I know that I can say 9/11/01 We will NEVER forget.
I know for me the course of my life changed. I know that my prayers and dreams of being a mother finally happened. I know that I was able to do the things in the following pages, “apologize to your parents, send letters and call friends and family and tell them you love them, never give up on your dreams, keep in touch with those you love, never forget 9/11/01 and always keep hope alive.” I know that my dream of writing is happening now. I know I can remind you to never forget.
Sending out thoughts of peace, hope and tranquility,
I remain the Fabulously Graceless Lady Maos

9 11 remember childs hand

A blue bunny kind of Thursday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 4 Comments

So my jeep has been in the shop for a while now. I am worried that the “Blue Bunny” may not be suitable for me any longer and I dearly love that vehicle!

It is far from a luxury car, but it is mine, bought and paid for. It seems, however, that it’s days of carting me and mine around are limited.

I purchased that jeep when it was just me and my big love dog, Jethro. It has a manual transmission, aka manny tranny, and lots of quirks but I was in love from the test drive.

b jethro

I started receiving recall notices, little things like windows, buttons, etc. after the boy was born and took it in the first time when the passenger rear window got stuck in the down position. At first the dealership tried to claim my kid had worn it out, but seeing as how I had him in a carrier and he had limited head control, much less the ability to repeatedly push the button to roll down the window they conceded it was probably due to the defect of the system. Ya think?!

Then, about a year and a half after the first time I had the window repaired, the same thing happened. It got stuck on the passenger side in the down position. It was winter and cold, like 23 degrees outside cold. I took it back to the dealership and told them of the problem.

Let’s just say things did not go well for either of us, and I had to pay for a new part for the window they “repaired” with the recalled parts they were given to “replace the bad ones”. Whatever. My kid is still in a car seat and can’t reach the button for the window. *Ahem.

Of course I had to do the usual maintenance, fluid changes, tires (several times as I drive a lot and yeah, I think I am an Andretti descendant at times), even a new windshield, which I lived with for quite a while before I dropped the cash to fix that.

Moving along I came to the decision to move back to the motherland with the boy and dog. I figured it would be easier to do the majority of it myself to save funds.

Logical right?

So I started packing and planning and realized I needed a hitch on my jeep as I figured I would at some point need a trailer for my move.

I take it to the local U-Haul and schedule a time for the hitch to be installed. Since it was during the week and I worked, I had a co-worker take me up there so I could have them install the hitch while I am at work, go back to work and come back when they finished as it was less than 5 minutes away.

I get to the U-Haul, walk in and tell all these “young” guys why I am there. The cockiest one walks up, snags my keys and smirks, “I got this.”

I just smiled at his other 2 co-workers and said, “He’s kind of confident. That’s going to be a good thing to have in life.”

As they looked at me oddly, he returned via the back entrance with a sheepish look on his face. His co-workers quickly inquired as to if he was ok and if the vehicle was ok. Of course the vehicle was fine. The problem? He couldn’t drive a manual transmission, stick shift or anything like it. If it wasn’t “automatic” he couldn’t drive it!

It turns out only one of them had ever even attempted driving a vehicle that wasn’t an automatic. All of the trucks they rented were automatic.

b gearshit gfriend

Wow, just wow!

There was only one that had attempted to drive a stick, and yes, I let him attempt it again but he couldn’t do it. He had the true humor to tell me he was temporarily turning in his man card because he now knew he needed to know how to drive one.

The other two pretty much hid from me more or less.

I had to back my own vehicle up the ramp so they could install the hitch. Their manager was coming over from another store to get it down and they would call to let me know when to pick it back up.

I had to say I laughed long and hard about that one as did several of my co-workers and friends! I still do. I mean, really, you take your vehicle to get something done to it and all of the employees working that shift could not drive it because it is not an automatic?! I cannot make this up!

I’ve had so many great adventures and good memories in my “blue bunny” so named for its color and general happy feel!

My boy had one of those walkers that had the jeep look on it and that was done randomly and not because of my jeep. I have a photo somewhere of him in his walker behind my actual parked jeep. See below.

b jeep

I have lived in 2 states and driven through 7 in the bunny.

I know her quirks and oddities like I know my own.

Of course I paid it off last year so it’s just Murphy and his laws again messing with me telling me it’s time to move on. But this one is hard for me.

I have so many great memories.

My dog, Jethro, who is no longer on the planet with me, rode all over the southeast in that jeep.

My dad got a kick out of it and we talked about how I always wanted a jeep when I was younger, but he was worried then that I would flip it with my driving skills at the time. My dad is no longer here either.

I got the Blue Bunny and 14 months later had my boy so I carried both boy and dog in the jeep back and forth from the park to the house and to visit family.

I know that sometime soon I am going to have to make a decision on what to do about her.

I’ve been blessed to have a “loaner” minivan that is quite cool. Words I never thought I could ever put into a sentence and mean! It’s “loaded” as they say and my boy likes it better than the jeep. I mean ALL of the windows roll up and down, there’s a sun roof, space, good on gas and oh yeah it has DVD players in it.

We took it on our trip to PA and even with 6 humans and all of our crap we had space. We even discussed, other than hitting laundry mats and grocery stores, we could just keep driving and take a trip around the country. It is that comfy and cool.

But still, I will miss the Blue Bunny once she goes.

For now, I can still keep hope alive that I can squeeze a bit more time out of her.

b bluebunny

For nostalgia’s sake if nothing else.

Memories last forever.

Have a fabulous graceless day!

 

 

 

 

 

The Mid-Week Hustle

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Welcome to the midweek hustle!

If you’re reading this, you’re still breathing so be happy!

You may be going through a rough patch, hell, it may be a rough month/year but you are still on this planet breathing in and out, so be grateful.

So many have not made it this far.

I know personally it has been a challenging week for me.

I have been blessed to have wonderful humans in my life to help drag me from the brink and take care of me. Even when I think “I’m fine” and I am being stubborn they seem to keep sticking around.

I spent part of my weekend with my girls in Atlanta and oh how I needed it!

We didn’t “do” much, we did have a birthday party for a dear friend, but as far as getting out and doing things, no that didn’t happen other than dinner one night.

I didn’t go to sleep before 3:00 AM either night I was there!

I wish I could say I was up dancing and partying, however since I was up late 2 nights, anyone that knows me knows that isn’t possible!

I did, however, enjoy awesome, silly conversations with my friends, covering every topic we could think up! From our fashion faux pas, relationship, politics to what were are planning to eat, we discussed it all. We laughed until we cried and kept going. Let’s just say I was not an early riser those days!

I spent the rest of my child free time working, cleaning and with my someone special. We will see where it leads but I have a lot of hope this time around!

The best part of today is my boy comes home!

I have missed that little booger!

He’s went for his final week with his dad and grandparents and I know he had fun as I got updates, but golly gee do I miss him when he is gone.

Also today will be crazy hustle as early scheduling for work and then karate with my boy, then we again go to our happy place at the beach. Another fun family vacation! I wish I had my cousins and brother, sister-in-law and nephew going too as it is a lot of fun with so many helping hands, but we will have fun no matter what.

So I wish to end this on a happy, full of hope kind of note.

Always remember to Keep Hope Alive!

Stay fabulous my graceless friends!

Lady Maos

It is a fabulous Friday!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

It truly is a fabulous Friday!

It seems that on my “new” computer hard drive, the one that gave the me black screen of death, that the contents are “recoverable”. Photos, videos, writings, things precious and dear to me are not lost!

Ohmergod! This is miraculous news to me!

I was seriously thinking of titling this post “Held Hostage by Technology” because it has been a truly challenging few weeks for this tech-me-not chic!

My main “new” computer gave me the black screen of death, however my “old” computer was brought back to life, albeit a bit slower but still Alive!

Then we started having issues with the internet in our home.

Thinking it was the router, we purchased a new router, well mom did, and I thought “no problem I can just install this, write and be on my merry way.” WRONG! I did learn the one of the reasons was due to our internet carrier and the modem. I thought I could plug in a few cords and make it work, easy peasy. Unless that jerk Murphy is involved and then I have the urge to break all the technology into tiny pieces and run over it back and forth and toss it out on I-85…but I digress!

I spent nearly 4 hours going back and forth trying to repair it, with help of course because this went well beyond my knowledge and technical abilities. A huge shout out to my friend who rode to my virtual rescue and will be going by the house to fix that for us! Along with the recovery of both the new and old computers… You, sir, rock!

Yes, that means that I could not make it work!

If I have no computer, no internet I cannot write for FabulousGracelessness nor do any other writing for that matter.

I have no problem writing with pen and paper and do so often, but mama needs money and has deadlines to meet so I needed both computer and internet.

I am able to use my iPhone as a hot spot, and I feel so cool saying I know how to do that ‘cause it wasn’t as simple as I thought at first. Now it is second nature if I don’t have internet service. I cannot go without my computer for my writing.

I cannot see me writing articles from my iPhone and iPad. I am too OCD and just no. I don’t even need to go there in the madness of my mind!

So I am now working on my old laptop, with internet and sending out this crazed article which is why I can truly say it is a Fabulous Friday!

Because I am still connected and not held hostage by the damn technology I have become so reliant on!

I think I need to stock up on my articles for a minute so I can unplug!

Oh such pretty little words that seem so simple yet will call another panic in my mind for deadlines. The joys of life!

This is such a part of my life, my writing this blog. It helps me release all the thoughts in my head and shakes the cobwebs from my soul.

I have found sometimes I have to write things but I can’t, for personal reason, just put it out there on the internet to share with everyone.

Usually that comes out in my handwritten journals, but lately I’ve found myself unloading apparent hostility I had held in and it’s flowing out in volumes onto my keyboard.

Those are kept under lock and key in the “private” section of my writings!

As I am growing I am branching out in how I “get it out” of my system. I am just happy I have encouraged and allowed myself to write it on a computer.

I don’t trust technology if you didn’t catch that above! However, it is so much easier on my hands, at times, to type rather that to write. It’s cool and frustrating to me.

But now I have this terabyte thingy that can’t get sick, and I can save all my musings, photos and anything else there. It’s got tons of space that they say even I can’t fill up! We will see about that!

So as I end this fabulous Friday ramble I wish you all the happiness and hope for a Fabulously Graceless weekend!

 

 

Have you ever had these problems with technology? The rage of feeling you were bettered by a device made with plastic, nickel and metal and a few other things?! The urge to destroy them?!

Let me know how you handled it!

It’s Thursday!!!!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

One day closer to the weekend.

Thursday is just kind of hanging out there.

Not too much is said unless you get a long weekend and it starts on Thursday!

Although it seems to usually be a pretty decent day when I think about it.

For example, tomorrow I just have to do a bit of work, drive to the country, write and enjoy life!

At least I am trying to put the positive spin on it.

The boy leaves for his camping trip today.

I did get to see him last night at karate though. He got his green belt. I’m both proud and impressed as he is a handful and most of the time he does what he’s told and follows direction. Of course not ALL the time. He’s almost 5 and is constantly on the move and in conversation!

I told him I would come and he would go home with daddy or his other grandmother and he was fine with it. I told him when he came back from his week vacation with them that we would go to the beach and he ran yelling though the house, “We’re going to the beachhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Yes, just a touch excited and loving the beach like his mama!

But then he cried and said he didn’t want me to go home without him.

Even though I KNOW he is going through this phase of turning on the tears to get what he wants, it kills me a little inside to not be able to say, “Ok kiddo, let’s go with me.” It isn’t how it works with this scenario and he knows it too. And not that he gets away with it around me, I invented the “turn on the tears” to try and get what I wanted when I was his age!

So I sat in the car and shed a few tears, then went and got my mama and we had a lovely dinner at the Olive Garden,

The boy is camping with his other family, probably being like lord of the flies and eating the filling out of the Oreos and putting them back in the package and having a blast.

I am working and writing and trying to find a bit of peace in my mind.

I hope you are able to find a bit of peace and/or sanity today as well.

Or if you’re starting your weekend early, please have 2 for me!

We are almost to the end of this crazy week!

Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!

Have a fabulous Thursday and stay graceless my friends!

 

But the child born on the Sabbath Day…

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Monday’s child is fair of face,

Tuesday’s child is full of grace,

Wednesday’s child is full of woe,

Thursday’s child has far to go.

Friday’s child is loving and giving,

Saturday’s child works hard for a living,

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

*first recorded in A.E. Bray’s Traditions of Devonshire in 1838

 

I remember this poem from childhood and wanted to share it with my readers.

I was born on the Sabbath Day, a cold winter day in the wee hours of the morning.

I remember my grandmother reciting this poem to me when I was a little girl.

I wanted to know what “bonny” and “blithe” meant and was told bonny meant pretty, or easy on the eyes, and blithe meant joyous and merry.

It sounded good to me and of course I believed everything she ever told me.

It was in my head again when I had my son, born on a Tuesday, and recently in a discussion with a friend.

We were discussing whether there was any “truism” to this poem.

I have to laugh because I don’t know about the “easy on the eyes” nor the joyous and merry! I was informed I had all the qualities of this poem which was a very sweet thing to say.

However, my graceless son, who is just like his mama, I wonder if he is considered by others to be “full of grace.” But when I looked up the meaning of “full of grace” it stated that it means the person is much kinder than a person would expect them to be.

I would have to agree as he is very kind for a boy his age. He is a compassionate child and truly cares about others.

It got me to thinking, is this myth or could there be truth to these old poems?

What do you think?

What day were you born on?

Do you think you match up to this poem?

Things to ponder on this lovely day.

Have a fabulous Sunday my friends!

Stay fabulous!

FG

 

Misplaced Person

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

misplaced person1

Sometime I feel like a misplaced person.

Like I am flitting about from place to place trying to find where I belong.

I feel like I am struggling to fit in, to be accepted for who I am.

I feel like things get tough and I have to choose to live or die and I chose to live.

I know I make mistakes during these times.

I know the costs.

I know the damage I have done and the penance for these actions.

I pay them.

Gladly.

For I know in paying them I find answers and healing.

And maybe just maybe I will find my place.

person

 

On the road with technology

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Ahhh technology and the cool things I can do!

Take for instance, this post!

Today I am on the road, yet my blog is coming out like clockwork because of technology!

my road trip

It allows me the luxury of allowing my thoughts to be delivered daily, as planned, while I am not tied to a chair in front of the computer.

I write it, click when I want it to come out and voila! Instant readiness to post at a certain time!

Sure it’s simple, however this wasn’t available when I was a teenager!

Heck I remember when microwave ovens came out!

Something that could heat up food, with a little “cooking” too, in a shorter time than it took to pop a Hungry Jack TV dinner in the oven! I mean That was COOL!

Then there were the Walkman… my generation’s iPod! Sure you had to carry tapes and all but I mean we now had mobile music and large headphone!

walkman

But we still had to go into a home, business or find an outside pay phone to call our family and friends!

I remember I coveted a typewriter forever!

I always wrote, of course I was going to write a great novel! I did pen many “books” that are in boxes somewhere hand-written! And yes, I am searching for those in my house!

Now we not only have personal computers and iPads and tablets, but we have computers on our phones!

I can check emails, my blog, job posts, search the Internet and make calls from this handheld device!

iphone

Of course there is the added bonus of maps, games, and all kinds of apps too numerous to list!

I can set myself reminders, make a virtual note to myself and do so many things that seem way cooler than the “space age cartoon” of “The Jetsons”!

I mean I am ok not having a flying car at this point. I haven’t yet mastered the smarter-than-me phone!

So while this gal is trucking north with my loves, my post is coming out to you from my thoughts on Tuesday and thinking how awesome it will be to read this while I am in my smarter than me van!

Have a fabulous Thursday my Graceless Friends!