A blue bunny kind of Thursday


So my jeep has been in the shop for a while now. I am worried that the “Blue Bunny” may not be suitable for me any longer and I dearly love that vehicle!

It is far from a luxury car, but it is mine, bought and paid for. It seems, however, that it’s days of carting me and mine around are limited.

I purchased that jeep when it was just me and my big love dog, Jethro. It has a manual transmission, aka manny tranny, and lots of quirks but I was in love from the test drive.

b jethro

I started receiving recall notices, little things like windows, buttons, etc. after the boy was born and took it in the first time when the passenger rear window got stuck in the down position. At first the dealership tried to claim my kid had worn it out, but seeing as how I had him in a carrier and he had limited head control, much less the ability to repeatedly push the button to roll down the window they conceded it was probably due to the defect of the system. Ya think?!

Then, about a year and a half after the first time I had the window repaired, the same thing happened. It got stuck on the passenger side in the down position. It was winter and cold, like 23 degrees outside cold. I took it back to the dealership and told them of the problem.

Let’s just say things did not go well for either of us, and I had to pay for a new part for the window they “repaired” with the recalled parts they were given to “replace the bad ones”. Whatever. My kid is still in a car seat and can’t reach the button for the window. *Ahem.

Of course I had to do the usual maintenance, fluid changes, tires (several times as I drive a lot and yeah, I think I am an Andretti descendant at times), even a new windshield, which I lived with for quite a while before I dropped the cash to fix that.

Moving along I came to the decision to move back to the motherland with the boy and dog. I figured it would be easier to do the majority of it myself to save funds.

Logical right?

So I started packing and planning and realized I needed a hitch on my jeep as I figured I would at some point need a trailer for my move.

I take it to the local U-Haul and schedule a time for the hitch to be installed. Since it was during the week and I worked, I had a co-worker take me up there so I could have them install the hitch while I am at work, go back to work and come back when they finished as it was less than 5 minutes away.

I get to the U-Haul, walk in and tell all these “young” guys why I am there. The cockiest one walks up, snags my keys and smirks, “I got this.”

I just smiled at his other 2 co-workers and said, “He’s kind of confident. That’s going to be a good thing to have in life.”

As they looked at me oddly, he returned via the back entrance with a sheepish look on his face. His co-workers quickly inquired as to if he was ok and if the vehicle was ok. Of course the vehicle was fine. The problem? He couldn’t drive a manual transmission, stick shift or anything like it. If it wasn’t “automatic” he couldn’t drive it!

It turns out only one of them had ever even attempted driving a vehicle that wasn’t an automatic. All of the trucks they rented were automatic.

b gearshit gfriend

Wow, just wow!

There was only one that had attempted to drive a stick, and yes, I let him attempt it again but he couldn’t do it. He had the true humor to tell me he was temporarily turning in his man card because he now knew he needed to know how to drive one.

The other two pretty much hid from me more or less.

I had to back my own vehicle up the ramp so they could install the hitch. Their manager was coming over from another store to get it down and they would call to let me know when to pick it back up.

I had to say I laughed long and hard about that one as did several of my co-workers and friends! I still do. I mean, really, you take your vehicle to get something done to it and all of the employees working that shift could not drive it because it is not an automatic?! I cannot make this up!

I’ve had so many great adventures and good memories in my “blue bunny” so named for its color and general happy feel!

My boy had one of those walkers that had the jeep look on it and that was done randomly and not because of my jeep. I have a photo somewhere of him in his walker behind my actual parked jeep. See below.

b jeep

I have lived in 2 states and driven through 7 in the bunny.

I know her quirks and oddities like I know my own.

Of course I paid it off last year so it’s just Murphy and his laws again messing with me telling me it’s time to move on. But this one is hard for me.

I have so many great memories.

My dog, Jethro, who is no longer on the planet with me, rode all over the southeast in that jeep.

My dad got a kick out of it and we talked about how I always wanted a jeep when I was younger, but he was worried then that I would flip it with my driving skills at the time. My dad is no longer here either.

I got the Blue Bunny and 14 months later had my boy so I carried both boy and dog in the jeep back and forth from the park to the house and to visit family.

I know that sometime soon I am going to have to make a decision on what to do about her.

I’ve been blessed to have a “loaner” minivan that is quite cool. Words I never thought I could ever put into a sentence and mean! It’s “loaded” as they say and my boy likes it better than the jeep. I mean ALL of the windows roll up and down, there’s a sun roof, space, good on gas and oh yeah it has DVD players in it.

We took it on our trip to PA and even with 6 humans and all of our crap we had space. We even discussed, other than hitting laundry mats and grocery stores, we could just keep driving and take a trip around the country. It is that comfy and cool.

But still, I will miss the Blue Bunny once she goes.

For now, I can still keep hope alive that I can squeeze a bit more time out of her.

b bluebunny

For nostalgia’s sake if nothing else.

Memories last forever.

Have a fabulous graceless day!

 

 

 

 

 

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The Mid-Week Hustle


Welcome to the midweek hustle!

If you’re reading this, you’re still breathing so be happy!

You may be going through a rough patch, hell, it may be a rough month/year but you are still on this planet breathing in and out, so be grateful.

So many have not made it this far.

I know personally it has been a challenging week for me.

I have been blessed to have wonderful humans in my life to help drag me from the brink and take care of me. Even when I think “I’m fine” and I am being stubborn they seem to keep sticking around.

I spent part of my weekend with my girls in Atlanta and oh how I needed it!

We didn’t “do” much, we did have a birthday party for a dear friend, but as far as getting out and doing things, no that didn’t happen other than dinner one night.

I didn’t go to sleep before 3:00 AM either night I was there!

I wish I could say I was up dancing and partying, however since I was up late 2 nights, anyone that knows me knows that isn’t possible!

I did, however, enjoy awesome, silly conversations with my friends, covering every topic we could think up! From our fashion faux pas, relationship, politics to what were are planning to eat, we discussed it all. We laughed until we cried and kept going. Let’s just say I was not an early riser those days!

I spent the rest of my child free time working, cleaning and with my someone special. We will see where it leads but I have a lot of hope this time around!

The best part of today is my boy comes home!

I have missed that little booger!

He’s went for his final week with his dad and grandparents and I know he had fun as I got updates, but golly gee do I miss him when he is gone.

Also today will be crazy hustle as early scheduling for work and then karate with my boy, then we again go to our happy place at the beach. Another fun family vacation! I wish I had my cousins and brother, sister-in-law and nephew going too as it is a lot of fun with so many helping hands, but we will have fun no matter what.

So I wish to end this on a happy, full of hope kind of note.

Always remember to Keep Hope Alive!

Stay fabulous my graceless friends!

Lady Maos

Falling apart together


*Most of my posts are about life and my thoughts, opinions and ideas, however, every once in a while I feel the urge to write so strong and am always amazed at how it comes out in different forms… this is one of those poems I tend to churn out when I have those moments. I hope you enjoy it. FB aka Lady Mao

Sometimes it feels like you’re falling apart.

So many things, so many false starts.

The deal you thought would surely come true.

The friend you thought you truly knew.

The wish you made upon that star.

The following day a scratch on your car.

Broken promises told yet again.

Then the rare find of an old, lost friend.

Suddenly life seems to be look up.

You find yourself drinking from a silver cup.

Yet you are weary from life, not sure what’s true.

Trusting seems to be hard for you.

Your outlook on life seems so cheery,

Yet deep inside you feel bleak and bleary.

You put on a smile, don’t wear that frown.

Think positive thoughts, don’t stop to look down.

Keep moving along faster than snail pace.

You might actually get through this life race.

You find hope in the most unlikely places.

You may even find hope in the spaces.

Places you never looked at before, become a haven for treasures galore.

Hope in fellow man seems likely once more, for once it seems there isn’t a war.

At least on this avenue through your passing of life.

Hold on, stay up, don’t give into strife.

Maybe I’ll see you while you’re passing though.

You’ll know then it’s not only you.

We all fall apart but can come back together.

Though this mortal coil may be light as a feather.

Please never give up, don’t forget who you are.

A beautiful human who wishes on stars.

Missing my boy


I hate this emptiness.

My boy goes to his dad’s for a few days every other week.

You’d think I would be used to it after 2 years but I’m not.

I am already dreading his 2 weekends in a row away from me.

God knows I do need a break.

I know he will have fun.

I can’t help but worry.

It isn’t like we didn’t try to make it work.

We went to couples therapy before we even got married, however in hindsight, I realize we shouldn’t have married just because I got knocked up.

But it was a miracle I was able to have a child, our families felt it was right and we had been best friends for so long.

I was in a whirlwind of shock.

I tried so hard and I know he did too.

But if we are honest, it wasn’t the best idea.

And a treasured friendship was shattered.

But we got a beautiful, smart, willful, amazing child from it.

So I work on the “co-parenting” thing.

But my arms ache for my little mini me in male form.

And I breathe.

Because I can’t do anything else.

I write for him too so that one day he knows how much it hurt me to let him go but that I had to.

I know he will understand.

He just came to me, put his little arms around my neck, and said, “Mommy, I know you’re working but I just had to tell you I love you and you’re the bestest mommy I ever had.”

How could I not miss that?!

I have written how much it meant to me to be his mommy. How I never thought I would be a mommy. How happy I am he chose me to be his mommy “this time” as he puts it.

His journals from his mommy.

Stories and poems of my life before him, my thoughts and dreams and how he was a part of my dreams.

Later I will be mom or even mother, but for now I am mommy.

When he is not with me I miss him more than I ever knew was possible.

I love this child with a feral intensity that I didn’t know I was capable of.

I’m thankful he has family on both sides that love him and want to be with him.

I know how precious that is.

I know I want only the best for him but I can’t do everything.

I know I make mistakes and that I am far from perfect.

I know I can’t control how everything plays out.

I know I will never stop loving him no matter what he chooses.

I know I will never stop fighting for him and being his strongest supporter.

I know I will never stop teaching him how to be a better human being.

I know I will never stop disciplining him, even when he’s 30 because I know I will always be his mama. No matter where I am.

So now I will write in his journal and look at pictures of this beautiful creature I created and be thankful I have him for the time I am given.

Because I am thankful I have him at all.

b run

Just a little more time


TIME meme

All I need is just a little more time.

A little more time for work.

A little more time for play.

A little more time for others.

A little more time for me.

Please.

Just help me find a little more time.

Time eye photo

Otherwise, I feel I’m slipping.

Falling.

Out of sorts.

Struggling to catch up.

time running girl

Struggling to catch all the “balls” I have in the air.

Watching some of them fall.

No way I can catch them all.

Being me I will pick up the pieces the best I can.

I will find a way.

I won’t lose hope today.

I will always keep hope alive.

But I won’t stop wishin’ for just a little more time.

time lost cannot be regained

 

Manic Monday in 3D!


Today we have Manic Monday in 3D!

manic monday horse

This gal is on her way back home from the great northern adventures and visiting with friends and family!

I am sure there will be things that do not go according to plan, Mr. Murphy please take those laws and go!

We’ve no time for all that!

For we are going down the highway of life and living it to the fullest!

on the road

There’s no need for the dramas and the trials today!

Nor for any other!

So yes we have frantic, manic, even sometimes panic Mondays!

That does not mean we do not face them head on and break on through to the other side! Thank you Mr. Jim Morrison!

I urge you to Never Lose Hope!

Never give up!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

keep hope alive

Especially on manic Mondays!

Have a great one Y’all!

Stay Fabulous!

 

Misplaced Person


misplaced person1

Sometime I feel like a misplaced person.

Like I am flitting about from place to place trying to find where I belong.

I feel like I am struggling to fit in, to be accepted for who I am.

I feel like things get tough and I have to choose to live or die and I chose to live.

I know I make mistakes during these times.

I know the costs.

I know the damage I have done and the penance for these actions.

I pay them.

Gladly.

For I know in paying them I find answers and healing.

And maybe just maybe I will find my place.

person

 

On the road with technology


Ahhh technology and the cool things I can do!

Take for instance, this post!

Today I am on the road, yet my blog is coming out like clockwork because of technology!

my road trip

It allows me the luxury of allowing my thoughts to be delivered daily, as planned, while I am not tied to a chair in front of the computer.

I write it, click when I want it to come out and voila! Instant readiness to post at a certain time!

Sure it’s simple, however this wasn’t available when I was a teenager!

Heck I remember when microwave ovens came out!

Something that could heat up food, with a little “cooking” too, in a shorter time than it took to pop a Hungry Jack TV dinner in the oven! I mean That was COOL!

Then there were the Walkman… my generation’s iPod! Sure you had to carry tapes and all but I mean we now had mobile music and large headphone!

walkman

But we still had to go into a home, business or find an outside pay phone to call our family and friends!

I remember I coveted a typewriter forever!

I always wrote, of course I was going to write a great novel! I did pen many “books” that are in boxes somewhere hand-written! And yes, I am searching for those in my house!

Now we not only have personal computers and iPads and tablets, but we have computers on our phones!

I can check emails, my blog, job posts, search the Internet and make calls from this handheld device!

iphone

Of course there is the added bonus of maps, games, and all kinds of apps too numerous to list!

I can set myself reminders, make a virtual note to myself and do so many things that seem way cooler than the “space age cartoon” of “The Jetsons”!

I mean I am ok not having a flying car at this point. I haven’t yet mastered the smarter-than-me phone!

So while this gal is trucking north with my loves, my post is coming out to you from my thoughts on Tuesday and thinking how awesome it will be to read this while I am in my smarter than me van!

Have a fabulous Thursday my Graceless Friends!

 

I can SEE!!!!!


“I was blind but now I see.”

I am not singing Amazing Grace here today but I can now see!

I did not realize how poor my vision is!

Wow!

This fabulously graceless chic is now a member, there probably is such a thing, of the trifocal club! Yes my left eye, it seems, is blinder than the right. It also has stigmata… I mean stigmatism!

Geez, I follow an amazing writer, Aging Gracefully My Ass, and her name fits my mood!

I guess this is where I should say I am thankful I can still rock my contacts for at least another year before staying in my glasses full time. I am, however, I am not thrilled to know that my eyeballs have to be re-evaluated again next year to see if I can keep them!

I cannot wear glasses all the time! It isn’t a fashion thing, it’s a safety and a graceless thing!

I am getting used to wearing a stronger contact in the left eye than my right. Supposedly it will be easier and that seems to be true but they make my eyeballs kind of tired. I am sure it will pass. I hope!

I love my new glasses, they are quite cool in my opinion.

I am also having to get used to those too.

I wanted to use my old glasses but it seems when you go into the trifocal club you have to have larger lenses.

I so suck at picking things out like that!

I am grateful to the fabulous ladies my local eyeball fixer upper palace for helping me chose a pair, they said, looked good on me.

I’ve gotten a lot of compliments so maybe it’s not just everyone being nice!

I have had to get used to making sure I look “with my nose” because otherwise it feels like the floor is somewhat tilting and I have grabbed out more than once to make sure I wasn’t falling.

It IS a common occurrence in my world!

Like I need one more thing that messes with me!

I was cleaning the tiled kitchen floor the other day and wondered why it had a dip in it. There was no dip other than me. I was not looking at the spot head on!

In case you didn’t know, dear reader, when you get prescription lenses, you have 3 choices.

Choice A you get the center of the lens only for your prescription. It cost a bit but you have to see.

Choice B you get over half of the lens, but you pay way more than choice A.

Choice C you get most of the lens covered but you need a small loan to cover the cost of just seeing out of the entire lens.

It’s a conspiracy I tell you!

Of course I choose A!

I did not have this issue before becoming a member of this detestable trifocal club!

I know I should shut up and be happy I could afford at all to get contacts and glasses, but I just had to rant a little.

But boy howdy how sparkly and sharp are things again!

I forgot how clearly I can see when I have the right prescription!

That part is awesome!

I can see, I can see! Who the hell’s in the mirror? Oh my god it’s me!

new glasses