It’s been a Year…and I will not stop!


One year ago today I started writing FabulousGracelessness not having any clue as to what I was doing. I am still not completely sure but I know I am now a blogger! I love to write, I love a challenge and I did the unthinkable for me at the time… I started writing a blog and posting every day. I promised myself I would write daily for 365 days in a row. I could write more if I wanted, but I could not write any less. Sometimes it was easy and other times it was definitely not.

Today I have reached my one year milestone of daily blogging!

I look and I see the amazing progress I have made.

I actually have over 50 followers!

It’s mind boggling to me that a bit over 50 people are interested enough in my babblings to “follow” me! It’s also a bit scary because hello?! Following me can be dangerous!

I do know I will never stop writing. I can’t. It is a part of me. I know that I if I don’t write, I will wither in my soul.

I don’t think I will write daily. I will write often but I am not sure if I am down for pushing myself that hard. It’s like taking a break, but not. I am hoping to be able to focus more on writing other things. Things that may pay me for a change and not .5 cents a word!

Also, since I started blogging so many things in my life have changed, some in ways I was not expecting. I wasn’t working full time and I was dedicating my time to writing, household and family. It was harder than I thought it would be especially after I started working, first part-time and then full time. Some days it felt like a chore, and I never want that feeling about my personal blog because I enjoy writing and I would prefer to write my thoughts/opinions/observations/ideas & feelings here and there than just writing that is hit and miss daily. In this realm I am in charge and it feels good to know where I stand and where I need to be in my own self.

I know I have learned that I have an endless well of thoughts, feelings and information stored within me. I pull from that to try and form coherent thoughts, feeling and ideas with folks. I read, learn, talk, share and listen with others. Life offers so much if we just pay attention.

I think that is one of the many things I have learned through my writing… to be more creative, to observe and think on what I see. I try to write what I hear, feel and see. Sometimes I try to be objective but other times I write solely from my perspective.

I’ve learned that it sets me free to write. Words have power. Words communicate thoughts and feelings that are often unsaid.

I thought I would have some insight into writing and the blogging world. The truth is I am still learning. I know that blogging is helping me become a better human because it gives me an outlet to put my words out there. I may not always be able to articulate things. I may sometimes write rubbish and nonsense. The thing is, I write it, not anyone else. No ghost writer or guest blogger, still learning what that is for the record, just Fabulously Graceless me.

Now I see FabulousGracelessness as being my platform to keep putting my thoughts and views into the world. Only this time, I am not placing such a harsh schedule on myself! I know I can do it! After all, I have done it daily for a year.

I am pretty proud of myself!

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog!

I will be back soon with more tales of my crazy life!

Keeping hope alive for an even better second year!

I will not be going quietly into anything!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

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Reality of dreams and keeping hope alive


It has been a heck of a week and we finally made it to Friday!

It seems like there is so many things to do and try to finish before the end of the day.

It feels overwhelming at times when you want to make sure all of your responsibilities are taken care of and all you want to do is just chill.

I try to relax and just go with the flow.

I really do.

Right now so many wonderful things are happening in my life.

Some days it feels like a dream because I am experiencing dreams coming to life. It is exciting, terrifying and exhausting!

It is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had before.

Things are happening, not as I thought they would happen or ever even had a prayer of going the direction of how it I saw it going but it’s flowing as how should happen… and it feels so “right” deep down I can’t fathom it sometimes.

Along the way of keeping it going, I have to sacrifice as well, as I knew I would because realities of dreams are realities. They aren’t the dreams of the lotto win and immediate release of responsibilities & all the troubles magically go away kind. I’m me I can’t have it like that!

Plus working for it, pushing myself, my boundaries, my very core is making the euphoria of seeing dreams come to fruition, even when it doesn’t seem to happen fast enough, is worth is all. If it came any faster I may pass out trying to get all my preparations done by some deadline.

That’s the beautiful thing about dreams that become a reality. You are allowed to let it happen on your time.

Life moves pretty fast, you have to choose at what pace you want to be in the game.

Keep hope alive!

 

 

Happy Birthday Daddy… dreams do come true and I miss you


Dear Daddy,

Today is 6 months of writing my blog on a daily basis! I am so proud of myself. You always taught me I could do anything and to do right by others. I am trying so hard and feel you around me all the time. Because of my writing I feel I have unlocked a door that I had forgotten about. One crucial to my essential being. By telling me to be true to myself I have found myself again. I found strength I didn’t know I had. Thanks to encouragement from family and special friends, remembering you and Grandmama always telling me to follow my heart and dreams, I am living my dream!

Today is your birthday. The second one since you’ve been gone. To say I miss you and your love and wisdom is an understatement. I would give anything for a hug and a kiss from my daddy just one more time. The words you always to me, to hear your voice again and feel your arms around me always made me know I was going to be ok.

There is so much going on in my life and in the world and I need your guidance and love more than ever. I hope you are proud of me and what I am doing. I remember your words of always stand up for others and to not be afraid because you knew deep down when you are doing the right thing.

I take comfort in our conversations we shared at random times throughout my life. Some were short, some were long but all were of value. All of the wisdom and the stories you shared with me, the way you understood and even respected my rebel side, I miss these things. I miss you.

You let me fly and also taught me how to be humble and respect every living being. You encouraged me when I know it had to be hard to do so. You also always loved me no matter what I said or did. I know there were times you didn’t like me as much and looking back, I can’t blame you. I wasn’t the easiest child to raise and I can be a bit stubborn and willful I know! You taught me to control my temper when I was young and I know that was no cake walk. You showed me how to channel my anger to find solutions to help myself and others along the way. You shared with me how to work through hurt, rage and fear. You always stood up for me even when it was hard to do. You never gave up on me and you always were there for me.

I wish you were here with us, our family. You have two amazing grandsons and my boy has already started telling his cousin about Pops and how wonderful you are. We all miss you and feel the ache so deeply. We are taking care of Mom as we would have no matter if we promised or not. You instilled in us the joy and challenges of family and how we stick together no matter what.

The legacy of family, friends and business you left is awe inspiring.

Oh Daddy I wish we could spend another day, another hour together. I know I would want more time. We all do.

I am so thankful and grateful you were always there for me for 43 years of my life.

It’s been one year, eight months and 11 days since we last saw you. I know you are free and whole again. I have to believe it. I know that your body is no longer ravaged by an insidious disease that could no longer be controlled. I know you no longer hurt.

They say time heals all wounds and that it gets easier. I’m sorry if I can’t see it that way. I didn’t always live in the same state and sometimes we would go a bit before talking or seeing each other but you were always There. I am better about not breaking down or breaking down in front of everyone, though sometimes it happens. I get overwhelmed by the fact that the first love of my life is no longer on this planet. It hurts my heart and soul.

They boy talks about you all the time with me. He believes we should be able to get you in heaven and go over the rainbow bridge and see Jethro. He tells me that Jethro has you throwing tennis balls to him and he’s sure you are giving him slices of the square cheese because he loves it. I love that he keeps your memory alive by talking about you.

I need to end this letter now but I know you are watching over us. I feel you with me and us so many times.

I love you, Daddy, with all my heart.

Thank you for always believing in me and my dreams and never giving up on me.

I miss you more than I will ever be able to put into words.

Always,

Your little girl