Merry Christmas from Fabulous Gracelessness!


mc we wish you

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

I hope that everyone gets to enjoy this day in some way. Near or far it doesn’t matter, just that you find some happiness, some peace just for a moment.

I hope that those children that believe in Santa wake up to find that Santa came! I hope the children that don’t do Santa wake up happy and healthy.

mc peace love hope believe

I hope that everyone who takes the time out to read my blog will stop, just for a moment, and find a memory, or reflect on this holiday season, and find just one memory that makes you smile. The warm, fuzzy inside kind of smile. The kind of smile that lights up your whole being! Keep Hope Alive! It’s Christmas! Miracles happen!

I realize and understand that not everyone celebrates or even enjoys Christmas. Some don’t even recognize it. I am perfectly okay with that.I am sharing how Fabulous Gracelessness does Christmas.

Here in Sweet Home Alabama it is a holiday that the majority of folks Celebrate!

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It’s a day we get together with family and friends. Often times we see folks we don’t see throughout the year for whatever reason. People sometimes put away their differences to enjoy time with family and friends. Some make new traditions and others blend the old with the new.

Before I had my son, I always got together with my family, but I also would get together throughout the holiday season and visit with friends that I didn’t get to see as much. Several of us agreed that gift giving was way overrated, in fact we call it Giftsmas, due to those that tend to over give and expect the same in return. We decided that we would always buy for the kids, but for us, just all getting together, eating good food and having a few spirits were all that we needed.

Since the boy came into my world, I still try to get together with friends, though it isn’t as easy or frequent as I would like. I do still enjoy the festivities but it has changed a bit. I have made more traditions that I did in my own childhood with him. I have created new traditions with him too. We love finding new things to do. Apparently, we are now adding make a gingerbread house to our things to do! We also drive around and look at the lights. Not necessarily on Christmas night but close to Christmas. Even in the rain we go. It is so much fun to see the joy of lights and decorations through the eyes of a child.

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It is also bittersweet. There are so many that are no longer with us. It can be so damn hard to put on a happy face when the tears are falling like rivers inside. You don’t want to make everyone else sad or put a damper on the festive times. But I can’t help but think about how much my Daddy would enjoy his grandsons. How much my Grandparents would love to play with their great-grandsons. How truly amazing it would be to have everyone home for Christmas. How much it hurts knowing that can’t happen. How much we still love and miss them and always will.

It’s why I love making new memories. To bridge the past with the present and look forward to the future.

This year I haven’t felt the Christmas spirit like I have in the past. I am so thankful for the boy as he pulls me from the abyss just knowing how much joy he has and his love for the holiday. I love that he has an elf named Jerry that magically found us and how he watches throughout the year and shows up after Thanksgiving. He comes with a letter and a tiny gift and moves about the house during the season. He doesn’t make messes or sit on a shelf. He is a different kind of elf. I love that we call Santa every year and he talks to him on the phone. We make reindeer treats as well as treats for Santa. I love the pure joy and glee in his eyes when he sees that Santa came. It isn’t the volume of the gifts it’s the magic of Christmas. It’s everyone getting along for the day when he goes from Mommy’s to Daddy’s house knowing he is loved by so many and it is a day where everyone is present. No distractions just the enjoyment of those around him.

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Through the eyes of a child is how I wish everyone could see Christmas.

Keep Hope Alive my fabulous friends!

And may all of your Christmas’ be bright!

onnly blind xmas helen keller

*Fabulous Gracelessness does not want to offend those who do not celebrate this holiday. I hope you enjoyed reading how me and mine celebrate Christmas. I hope you understand that for us, Christmas isn’t just gifts and decorations. It is a time for us to come together. It is a time when we feel everyone should share their joy and their compassion for others. Be kind. Be patient. Remember everyone does not get to enjoy it like we do. Even if some years it isn’t as “lavish” as you would like it to be, but that you may be blessed with peace and joy.

Life, hope and reality through the eyes of a child


eyes of child JOY use

I want to share how life looks through my boy’s eyes.

The eyes and opinions of a child are so true and pure.

They are little sponges and are for the most part, naïve and honest. Much more so than we are. They say what they’re thinking as they are thinking it. I am working with the boy on discretion.

He enjoys people watching. This past summer at the beach, if a girl in a 2 piece walked by, my boy was checking her out. Smiling goofily and almost drooling. I was telling him how to look without staring. He now understands sun glasses now and how well you can look at people but they can’t see your eyes. He prefers to all out look at them. He is also not judgmental, if they had their belly showing, he was grinning no matter what sized body they had.

I am working with him on that filter from brain to mouth. It is proving to be a bit more challenging. Also he is getting more curious about life and how things work. Exciting and scary at the same time. Kind of like his questions and statements, sometimes exciting other times his phrasing or learning can lead to awkwardness, embarrassment or frustration. Sometimes I just don’t have the right answers but I try.

“Mommy your belly is so big, is there a baby in there?” No kid, you’re the only one. My miracle but when you ask me that in front of others, I understand, for an instant, why certain species eat their young.

“Why is that man screaming at that lady,” on seeing a man yelling at a woman in a parking lot. I knew that is was a domestic violent situation, saw the approaching police and could move the vehicle forward, away from the ugly truth of life. I give him snippets, “Sometimes adults yell and scream at each other and it isn’t right to be doing that to someone, much less in public.” His response, “There must be something wrong with him to act like that. I’m 5 now and I know I shouldn’t scream at people mommy.” Oh my sweet angel, if only we all knew that and if we acted on it, apologized genuinely like you do.

“Mommy we are all different colors, but we are all alike. I don’t understand the big deal.” “What do you mean?” “Well I am white with blonde hair and blue eyes. You are light brown with green/brown eyes and black hair, and I have friends with brown skin and black hair. But we are all peoples. So what’s the big deal when people act all mean and weird?” “You know what buddy, we are all equal. No matter what our skin color or where we are from. Sometimes people want to think they are better than other people.” “Like smarter?” “Well yes smarter or more important, that their life is better than the other person’s life.” “Well that’s dumb. We are all people, we all pee and poop. We all get smelly. We all laugh. Sometimes people can’t see or don’t have arms or legs or look different but we are all people. There must be something wrong with some people.” Oh my child you have no idea.

“You know I wish we could visit heaven and cross that rainbow bridge. Seems like we need to find a way to do that. We have all these puters and smart people and space. How come we haven’t find a way to visit? I want to see Pops and Jethro again. Maybe when I grow up and become a superhero, I can find a way to do that.” That one brought tears to my eyes. It still does.

children are happy no file of wrong

Many cultures believe that children are more in touch with their past lives, the spirit world and universal truths. That we are born with an ability to trust and believe in others and are more empathetic. They also see things that once you begin growing older, the majority begin to lose the ability to see beyond this world. As they age, they begin to lose that naivety and become more jaded. Many times it is due to their environment and their beliefs their parents, families and guardians feel.

There are many children that will still see and feel these things not only as youth, but as they grow older. They remain empathetic and compassionate. This does not necessarily mean that they are “strange” or not like “normal” kids. Many of them learn who they can talk to and who they can’t. Sometimes their families help them along and others find like people and information that help them along their journey.

We often discount children and their fantastical tales, their songs, their opinions. After all, how much life experience do they have?

I know I have heard the boy and several other children talk about “their life before this one.” I have also talked to some of those kids who only vaguely remember talking about it as the memories have faded. Things that he has said make me pause and think about things.

Who’s to say he didn’t have another life before this one? He talks about before he was borned (his word, we’re learning) when he was in heaven waiting for a new family. He says he remembers being told he would get a “good” mommy this time who loved him more than anything and would listen to all the things he had to say and not make fun of him for singing, dancing, making up stories and remembering things from his “other” life. Whoever told him that was spot on.

So do I think he has a bit of life experience? Yes. Does that mean I am going to allow him to do something beyond his years, like a drive a car, at 6 years old? That would be a big NO! Well, not unless he shows some mad learning skills along with better focus in the next 10 months! Ha, who am I kidding?! Absolutely not letting the boy drive anything other than go carts and bicycles for quite a while!

In the words of my boy, “Be nice to everybody, even if they are mean to you. Then just look at those people and smile and say “too bad” and walk away. They aren’t worth your time. We only want fun people on our ride!”

wisdom of ages eyes of child

As for me, I am keeping hope alive!

Have a fabulous day!