fabulous gracelessness

Life always keeps moving

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

Life definitely keeps on moving. Even when one life stops, the rest keep on moving. Some not as fast as others. Some closer to stopping with every breath. Yet others thrive and others get by pretty decently. Life always finds a way.

For me, life has moved both too fast and too slow lately. I know that I feel like I’ve been running races, and I do not run unless I am being chased or chasing a child for some odd reason!

My dear friend invited me to join a 30 day blogging challenge and although I failed miserably at blogging every day for 30 days, she did help me find my way back to blogging. I needed that. I can truly never thank her enough. Not that I wouldn’t have written ever again, but I just needed that kick to get going again!

So to those awesome folks who follow my blog, I have so much to say in the upcoming days, weeks and hopefully months and years.

Because life has, as always, provided me with more material than my blogging self can keep up with. Of course I have written in my journal, notebooks, post its and basically written a line or two about pretty much everything over the last 45 plus days!

The last 30 days of my life have been more challenging and emotional than I have had to deal with at once in a very long time. Some things I have handled well, others, well life can be raw and hard at times and remind you how fragile your very existence is at all times. We don’t always react and respond the way we’d like to. I can honestly say that I have completely lost my shit at times when I wish I had handled a situation with a bit more grace. But that is it though. Life isn’t always pretty. It’s not always pink and purple flowers, rainbows and unicorn farts no matter how much some would like to pretend it is. Sometimes life slaps you in the face and knocks you on your ass. Sometimes you have to crawl a long way before you can get back up. But it keeps moving. Life always keeps moving!

I hope that everyone has a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

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April 15th is another date on the calendar of our lives

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

I hear it everywhere, April 15th is a hard day…. I don’t know if I will make it.

Whether it’s taxes due, another day, or a day that is marked in your life – good or bad – it is also just another date in the calendar of our lives.

So my taxes are done – I felt like I should seriously shout that from the rooftops, however the getting up and down part aren’t as easy as it once was! For me, it’s just tedious and irritating but a necessary evil! But I did it! I rock! HA!

Today is also a weird “anniversary” if you will for me. I was married to someone I truly loved. They will always be a part of who I have become, but I realized this year that it’s been 13 years and our divorce was finalized on April 15th. It’s not a date I celebrate or openly acknowledge most of the time. But I realized it’s part of the fabric of who I am.

If not, please find a way to relax this evening! Everyone needs to relax a bit and everyone forgets!

I plan to hang with the boy!

So today, I hope your day is beautiful, peaceful and stress free.

Keep Hope Alive!

Freedom to be me again

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Freedom to be me. Finally, at long last. It is about damn time!

I am tired of censoring everything.

This is my place to write.

I have so many irons in the fire and yet I haven’t produced a lot on here so it’s about time I got off my ass and wrote!

Lately, it has been a hell of a ride and I am still going!

I realize I just need to suck it up and take action! My mind never stops and if I can’t sleep I can write at least. I may be able to keep myself somewhat sane-ish

I have so much material from life! Lately it seems as if I am making notes daily. Endings. Beginnings. The cycle of life. Karma.

I am one stubborn woman and sometimes I am too nice. I pour myself into situations and loose bits of myself. I have no one to blame but myself.

I want to be angry, and trust me I can be, but sometimes the anger needs to be channeled properly to give it the fuel it needs to start the fire.

Misplaced anger is a dangerous thing!

So I am back into my writing and you, my fabulous readers, will be in for a treat!

I know it’s a bit sporadic, but I am back into the saddle!

Of course, I will over censor myself and my work but I realized in the middle of all of the chaos, I have to write.

I cannot help it if you strolled into my world and chose to be a part of it.

You became part of the fabric of who I am or shall I say how I now view things.

Good or bad I am only going for the truth and how I see things from my perspective.

How it is perceived once it is out there is how it is!

Fabulous Gracelessness is back y’all!

C’est la vie!

Have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

 you own your story

 

 

Sometimes I just don’t want to…

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

Do you ever have those days where you just don’t want to do Anything?!

Maybe because we got up so much earlier than usual on the Monday after spring break, I might add.

Maybe because I am on call all week and I don’t want to be.

Maybe the crazy weather is reeking havoc again on my lovely self so I am just not feeling it.

I want to lay down and sleep!

I want someone to just take care of it all because I don’t want to have to do anything!

Where’d that genie get off to?!

Yeah, sometimes I just don’t want to, but I do.

I owe some friends links to their page…I will get it done this week!

Keep hope alive!

Happy Birthday to my little brother and Happy Father’s Day to all the true fathers

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

I know it’s been a while since I posted anything, however I realized I could not pass up the opportunity to wish my “baby” brother a very fabulous 42nd birthday. Lil bro, I hope you get all of the answers to the universe! You deserve it. I know I don’t tell you enough, but I am so proud of you and I truly love you so much. I know there were times when we wanted to take each other out, but I am so glad we have not only grown closer, but genuinely enjoy each other’s company. You are a man I know daddy would be proud of. I love you my brother! You are also a fabulous dad. I know you had the best example of a father. I know we both miss him more than most people know. He’s the one who showed us how to treat others and to be a man among me. We were blessed/lucky and so fortunate to have him as our father.

I know many fathers. Some aren’t so good, some are good and others are out of this world. Every one of them are human. I know moms that are both mom and dad. I know single fathers who are both dad and mom. These amazing humans who give for their children, and children who are not even “biologically” theirs, day after day because they want to, not because they have to. They aren’t fair weather parents, they are hard core, full on dads.

My complete and utter respect of all of those fathers. May you all have an excellent Father’s Day! Whether you are with your child or not, know there are those of us who are rooting for you and thank you for being a father and actually caring.

I hope you all have a wonderful and fabulous day!

This Fabulously Graceless crazy mama is going spend the day with an amazing father and hopefully make his day a little better for all that he does for his son.

I’m wishing my brother, uncle, friends and family the best of Father’s Day!

Keep Hope Alive!

It’s been a Year…and I will not stop!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

One year ago today I started writing FabulousGracelessness not having any clue as to what I was doing. I am still not completely sure but I know I am now a blogger! I love to write, I love a challenge and I did the unthinkable for me at the time… I started writing a blog and posting every day. I promised myself I would write daily for 365 days in a row. I could write more if I wanted, but I could not write any less. Sometimes it was easy and other times it was definitely not.

Today I have reached my one year milestone of daily blogging!

I look and I see the amazing progress I have made.

I actually have over 50 followers!

It’s mind boggling to me that a bit over 50 people are interested enough in my babblings to “follow” me! It’s also a bit scary because hello?! Following me can be dangerous!

I do know I will never stop writing. I can’t. It is a part of me. I know that I if I don’t write, I will wither in my soul.

I don’t think I will write daily. I will write often but I am not sure if I am down for pushing myself that hard. It’s like taking a break, but not. I am hoping to be able to focus more on writing other things. Things that may pay me for a change and not .5 cents a word!

Also, since I started blogging so many things in my life have changed, some in ways I was not expecting. I wasn’t working full time and I was dedicating my time to writing, household and family. It was harder than I thought it would be especially after I started working, first part-time and then full time. Some days it felt like a chore, and I never want that feeling about my personal blog because I enjoy writing and I would prefer to write my thoughts/opinions/observations/ideas & feelings here and there than just writing that is hit and miss daily. In this realm I am in charge and it feels good to know where I stand and where I need to be in my own self.

I know I have learned that I have an endless well of thoughts, feelings and information stored within me. I pull from that to try and form coherent thoughts, feeling and ideas with folks. I read, learn, talk, share and listen with others. Life offers so much if we just pay attention.

I think that is one of the many things I have learned through my writing… to be more creative, to observe and think on what I see. I try to write what I hear, feel and see. Sometimes I try to be objective but other times I write solely from my perspective.

I’ve learned that it sets me free to write. Words have power. Words communicate thoughts and feelings that are often unsaid.

I thought I would have some insight into writing and the blogging world. The truth is I am still learning. I know that blogging is helping me become a better human because it gives me an outlet to put my words out there. I may not always be able to articulate things. I may sometimes write rubbish and nonsense. The thing is, I write it, not anyone else. No ghost writer or guest blogger, still learning what that is for the record, just Fabulously Graceless me.

Now I see FabulousGracelessness as being my platform to keep putting my thoughts and views into the world. Only this time, I am not placing such a harsh schedule on myself! I know I can do it! After all, I have done it daily for a year.

I am pretty proud of myself!

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog!

I will be back soon with more tales of my crazy life!

Keeping hope alive for an even better second year!

I will not be going quietly into anything!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

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Things that matter to me

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Things that really matter to me

My son

My family… well most of them, some of them are quite crazy

My friends who are always there no matter what

My boyfriend and his awesome son

My job because I love taking care of others even when it makes me crazy

My health so I can do all the things I need to do, not just what I want to do

Having a roof over the boy’s head

Making sure the boy is cared for and knows that he is LOVED

Making sure those I love Know that I love them for who they are, not what they can do for me

Writing… I always knew and writing my blog confirmed for me it is something that makes me feel whole

Being kind to others, because sometimes you may be the only person who is nice to someone and it can make a difference

Having food to fuel my body and soul

Always having hope because hope leads to happiness which leads to love which gives you the ability to get through the storms in life knowing that you have hope, you’ll find happiness and life is so much better with love

Keep hope alive

Fabulous hope for a new week

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

I’m hoping this week starts out fabulous!

It’s a brand new week and I know that it is going to be what I make of it so I am choosing Fabulous!

There is so much to be thankful for in life.

I have plenty of regrets and what ifs, but I can’t continuously dwell on all of my shortcomings. I know them all. Much better than those who can so effortlessly point them out to me!

So for those who chose to point out the negatives, just please go! No time for you today!

Life is happening, goals to accomplish, lists to cross off… I pray that it is not too maotic and that good things really do happen.

Keep hope alive!!!

 

I see, I feel, I find

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I see beauty in the everyday things

My son’s sleepy smile

The purple sky photo

The rocks in the yard

The flowers starting to bud

The sun streaming through the window

Her laughter through the maos

The smile on his face

I feel love in the little things

A touch

A smile

A tear

I find myself in these things in life

 

It’s the middle of the week so I pretend I’m superwoman

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It’s the middle of another fabulous week!

Depending on the time of day it’s either on the upward trek or the downward slope to the weekend.

I’m hoping for downward slope! Or maybe not it’s another work weekend for me. No rest for the wicked and all of that happiness.

u r u dr seuss

For me trying to juggle being mommy, relationships, work, writing, life – it can be a bit overwhelming. I don’t give up easily but I do make concessions I’ve come to realize.

I used to be so anal about making sure certain things were done. I was more organized and it sounds like a good thing but in reality I was stressing out if I didn’t follow through on the schedules and deadline I set for myself. After I became a parent it seemed to only get worse. Becoming a single parent really put the kibosh on having everything “just so”. I’m proud when I keep the boy alive, fed and happy and when I keep him and his friend alive, fed and happy I feel like I am freaking superwoman!

sometimes superhero

I know we can all be overwhelmed with the zingers life tosses us.

We just can’t give up, even when giving up seems to be the best option.

You may have more people depending on you than you realize. Just to see your face, hear your voice or know you’re still out there helps them.

So be you, have a fabulous day and keep hope alive!