fabulous gracelessness

sometimes

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes

Sometimes it seems so hard to just move. It’s hard to go on with a smile on my face acting as if I am doing fabulous. Though I think the matching baggage under my eyeballs tell a bit of the story. But only a tiny portion.

I sometimes feel overwhelmed about life. It isn’t always due to outside forces, but often from somewhere inside. Things I need to for myself and my sanity for me to be able to survive. Sometimes people don’t understand that and I get it.

Who am I kidding? I want to more than just survive, but also thrive in my life. I have so many things that are good in my life. The boy, people, situations and over all just fabulousness.

sometimes stand alone

I also have things that are somewhat beyond my control yet things that I do have some power in how they are handled. Of course other things that make me pause and think about the course my life is on currently. Where can I make improvements, what can I change to make things better, those kinds of things.

That is where sometimes the inability to move creeps in. I have so much to do, so many things I need to take care of and I get lost in some form of time suckage. I can watch children’s television programming, I can get lost in a book. Or I can just sleep, which is what I want to do the most of lately.

sometimes wrestle snuggle with deamons

I think today I am going to take one step at a time. This middle day of the work week, I am going to remember to stop and breathe. So often I go and go and go. Instead of stopping I seem to kick it up a notch. I know I need to slow down. No one can keep up at this pace. So I make myself stop.

Maybe we all need to slow down every once in a while so that we aren’t forced to stop. We just need to remember that.

For my own sanity, I will keep hope alive and get through this day. But I will give it my all while remembering to take it easy too. I can do this. I am the Fabulously Graceless Lady Maos.

 ST just not do anything

 

 

Hump Day Hope

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Smack dab in the middle of the work week… it’s Wednesday!

If you are reading this then you made it! Keep Hope Alive!

So many folks have had a hard week, already and I hope it gets better. Some have had a fabulous week and I hope it stays that way.

Here in my world we are just trying to get through the week.

I hope you all can find a bit of happiness and hope to sustain you to the weekend.

For now, here is some hope for you. Never forget it is always there, even when you think it isn’t possible, hope always finds a way.

hope voice maybe when no

 

 

I think a George Carlin Tuesday is needed

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One day down people! We have now made it to Tuesday! We should have some sort of celebration! Not the middle of the week yet, but Monday is now behind us.

I can hear George Carlin in my head, “Holy Shit it’s only Tuesday!” I miss George. My kid has shoes with lights in them… I remember when those shoes were the “new thing” and his whole rant about them! Golly if he were alive today would he have a field day with everything going on in the world! I would be in hysterics laughing as I truly loved that man and could totally relate with his assessment of life. I remember seeing him live at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. It was Fabulous!

There is so much madness and things beyond maos in this world. Listening to George’s views on life and how people were screwing up, politicians, celebrities and the common man, no one can beat his spot on humor and brutal honesty. I really do miss him!

Especially after the wild Monday I had. I mean it wasn’t “horrid”, however I was on the phone all day and I would seriously rather see a female doctor for hours than be on the phone all day. I know weird, a woman who doesn’t like to be on the phone all day! It’s so bad when I leave work, I have absolutely no desire to call anyone. And there are people I really do want to talk to! I just find myself giving the phone the stink eye when it isn’t the fault of the phone. Kind of a “don’t kill the messenger” situation. *shudders*

I am grateful I have a job, really I am. I just get tired of being on the phone! I was on call all weekend and it’s like on Monday once that’s over, I want to throw any phone, far, far away from me! I look at is as at least it isn’t as bad as several years back I daily weighed the pros and cons of tossing my phone onto the interstate while driving! Those hate them but need them devices!

I think I will go watch some George today. I need a good laugh and a reminder to open my eyes, find the humor and get through it with laughter and creatively!

I hope you all have a wonderful day and never forget:

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

 

 

 

New Year, no resolutions but facing life with Creativity!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

Recently I stated that I wasn’t going to do New Year’s resolutions or challenges. I then read the fabulous CandidKay and how she chooses a word or phrase instead of doing New Year’s Resolutions. Honestly the lady inspires me to be a better human and helps me see that I Can pull things off and I Love her views and writings and there I go rambling but yeah, she inspires me check her out! http://candidkay.com/

Because of reading, contemplating and of course reading research, it became clear to me I needed to find a word to focus on for 2016. I follow some amazing authors and they have all been inspiring… in fact it’s on the list of topics for 2016…and there I scurry with the squirrels again.

Do you know how many words there are out there and OCD me needed to pick just ONE, but how hard it is for me to choose just one to describe and get through a year?! I went into a little overload and then BAM it came to me.

Creative.

Creativity.

creativity

It just lights a fire in me on pretty much everything that I am passionate about.

My boy. My loves. My mind. My life. My health. My writing. My career. Me.

The things I want to improve upon and also those things I need to change in order to be a better human being.

I was flipping through a magazine when I said it. “I need to make lists of all of the things that I want to change and/or improve upon… starting with my health cause this magazine is inspiring to me to look at new healthy ideas.”

The notebooks, all shapes, types and sizes, have been brought out and are being organized and compared for which ones work best to blend my personal with my work.

My life is all intertwined in itself.

I can’t pretend things that happen at work do not affect me at home and vice versa. Yes, I can make sure I am taking care of life in the moment and not “mix and drag” work and home. However, the bottom line is I am the one handling both and since I dealt with the split personalities years ago, it’s still all me dealing with both sections of my life and being very cautious about my mixology. Let me tell you I am one damn fine cocktail mixer too! Sometimes things are bit to strong and others they may not be strong enough but I can guarantee I will work to get the balance just right.

I’m so excited if affects me All The Time! Like being on drugs but not. High on endorphins, yeah! And if I am honest right at this moment, Coca-Cola as in “Have a Coke and a smile”. Okay maybe a few too many of those but sadly no mix with it other than the evil antibiotics treating the alien infestation of a sinus infection I was gifted with this holiday season. But see, even that isn’t getting in the way of my being more Creative and thinking more Creatively and putting that Creativity into Action in my life. It is, of course, working out fabulously! After all, I am the Queen of Keep Hope Alive!

I am feeling that 2016 will be better than ever!

I am feeling the blending and clinking of life finally coming together the way I have seen it in my mind for far too long but the dreams are finally coming to reality. Slowly. Surely.

That I am moving forward and facing life with Creativity and Hope. Alive and with a passion I was missing a bit of but have found again.

I am sending out a prayer of HOPE and CREATIVITY for each and every human out there. Starting with the fabulous faithful following FabulousGracelessness and spreading out like peanut butter into the world. That every human on the planet finds moments of hope, creativity, peace and compassion this year. That we find more tolerance, not only for ourselves and our loved ones, but those we don’t even know.

I am asking everyone to Keep Hope Alive!

It’s going to be a Fabulous 2016!

My inner creative graceless maos Knows it!

2016

It’s the last Monday of 2015 so make it fabulous

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

 last mon of year

It’s the Monday after Christmas!

For me, it’s another work day but I love my job so I hope that it will be fabulous!

I hope that everyone reading this post, all 33 of you, have a fabulous Monday!

I hope you go forth for the rest of the week and it is wonderful!

I mean at the end of the week we start a whole new year so that makes today the last Monday of 2015 and my last Monday post for the year.

I can’t believe it’s been a bit over 7 months since I started my blog. And now I am going into a whole new year with my blogging. I still can’t believe I am still going strong. It is hard at times but it has been so very worth it.

I mean we are at the tail end of 2015. This is the time we are supposed to be making resolutions and plans for the upcoming year.

For me, I just want to make it another day, learning, loving and living my life.

So here’s hope for the last wonderful Monday of 2015!

Keep hope alive!

muse upon this

Happy Birthday to Me!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

happy bday to me

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday Fabulous Gracelessness, happy birthday to me!

45 years ago on a cold winter’s morning I made my debut into this world at 3:42 AM.

Being born 2 days after Christmas I used to get a lot of “here’s your birthday and Christmas gift. We consolidated into one.” NO. Just No. It is 2 separate days/holidays! Note my parents never did to this me but others did.

In fact, one of my very fabulous friends as well as one of my younger cousins share this fabulous day! She and I agreed that it just needs to be made into a holiday. I mean we have Christmas, our birthday then New Year’s! Perfect right?! We think so!

I was born on Sunday it’s fitting my 45th birthday is on a Sunday.

older but wiser

I don’t know why this year is a bit challenging for me. I mean 30 was awesome, 40 I was a new mom (literally my miracle was 3 months old I was going on no sleep and the thought of going out wasn’t even there) and I have been fine on the rest. I guess it’s the “downslide” to 50, which is crazy as I don’t think of myself as “old” and I remember thinking 50 was old. I no longer see a number as old. I had a call from a 90-year-old lady the other day. She wasn’t seeking care but to work and be a caregiver! Talk about an inspiration!

I have learned so much throughout my life. I keep learning daily. I remember my GrandMaMa telling me once you stop learning, there is nothing else. It can be big or small. It can be life changing or something as simple as a new recipe or way of doing something. Just never stop learning.

So today I spend with my loved ones and celebrate. No wild party or all-nighter! I no longer want or need that anymore. Going to bed at a decent hour is appealing to me. Not being in a crowd is more my speed. I haven’t ever enjoyed being in the middle of large crowds so I have no problem with a low key day. Of course it will be fabulous!

party like its my bday

Here’s wishing you an amazing Sunday!

Celebrate and Enjoy!

Keep Hope Alive

 

 

Christmas Eve is Here!!!!

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ce twas night b4

It’s Christmas Eve and throughout the motherland

Folks are running about, loud as marching bands

Last minute shopping and baking as such

Errands and visiting can be a bit much

Trying to hold on to the last thread of sanity

Knowing my actions don’t affect just me

Holding my tongue and smiling real big

Once it’s all done I may dance a jig

I pray for some peace and a little more sleep

But there’s so much to do as I’m in here quite deep

All at once I stop, take a breath, just breathe

The calm washes over me like the breeze in the trees

I’ll make it through this with joy in my heart

And tomorrow we do the loving Christmas part

Please take the day, if you can, and relax and enjoy

For I know I will be with my family and boy

I hope you all have a true fabulous day

Keep hope Alive and enjoy Christmas Eve play

ce santa

5 days til Christmas, social media break and making it through

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

I can’t believe the countdown until Christmas is only 5 days away!

I am seriously not ready and still have so much to do. I am just trying to hang on to those things right in front of me and the things that need to be done that I can do.

I have even stepped away from social media for the past 48 hours in order to try and get things together. Something I normally wouldn’t do as I keep in touch with many family and friends through it but sometimes you just have to realize you need to stop!

Between getting into the grove of the new job which included a very early start Friday, a late afternoon client visit and being on call this weekend, I am struggling. Not to mention that the lovely weather here in sweet home Alabama has wreaked havoc on my body and the joyous *sarcastic drip* migraines that I am prone to have also decided now is the time to visit.

My phone and texts have blown up and I have been struggling to respond and answer, missing several, of course. It’s a learning curve and one that is painful, icky but enlightening all the same.

Oh and we are 5 days out to D-day and this is first time I have ever been this far behind on actual Christmas things I get done! It’s one thing to not mail cards, but I haven’t finished shopping, creating, ordering and I still have to cook. All of those things which I will do in some fashion somehow some way in the next 4 days! Keep hope alive! I have to believe it because I know it’s true.

One of the many calls I have had this weekend was from a caregiver who sits with a family for their mother. Yesterday our client was taken back to the hospital and her prognosis does not look good. Not only is it right at Christmas, but her and I share a birthday. Being in this industry for so many years I understand what the final outcome will be. It still doesn’t make it any easier and I haven’t even met this client yet. The way things look I most likely will not get to meet her. It’s another reminder of how fragile life is and how I am once again in an industry where I feel like I am responsible for someone’s life other than mine and my child’s. It is a scary good feeling but also very humbling.

It is a hard time of the year for so many for so many reasons.

We never know how much time we have or that we have with others. I know I have family and friends who are not well and I pray that I get to talk or see them again before it is too late. We all have guilt, or some of us do, and we want to do and go and see more, but we can’t always do what we want to do.

I wanted a lazy weekend. I was fortunate to somewhat get it but not necessarily in the way that I had hoped. I wanted to also get things done. Yes, I understand that sounds conflicting but for me it isn’t… it’s just how I am. I didn’t get everything done I wanted to get done. I didn’t get to be lazy like I wanted either. Not completely but I am OK with that. I chose to be OK with it because otherwise, I end up feeling guilty and bad and wish I had got more done and there I am wishing away today for what I didn’t get done the day before.

So now I hopefully can move forward and get a few things accomplished. It is kind of cool to put an unplanned self-imposed kabash on your social media time. I do know when I get back on later that I will spend probably an hour just responding to things I had commented on or conversations I was having prior to me just dropping off like that.

I am keeping hope alive for a fabulously glorious day!

I wish you all the same.

Good luck with the Christmas countdown!

And for all of the others, Happy Festivus for the rest of ya!

 

 

Tis the season for joy and thieves

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 4 Comments

Tis the season of giving, of hope, of friendships and of love and family.

Sadly, it is also the season of lies, greed, deceit and thievery.

I got home late the other night after dropping off gifts and playing Santa’s ghetto elf. I was tired, but feeling so blessed and happy to be a part of helping children who wouldn’t have Christmas and knowing their parents/guardians would be able to breathe a bit easier and their little ones would have presents on Christmas day. I had driven many miles to drop presents off for 18 children. It was dark and I had worked a full day. I was exhausted but also excited. These sweet children were going to have Christmas!

I then learned that the previous day a home in our neighborhood had been broken into. This happened in the middle of the day when the son went out for a few hours and not turned on the alarm. He came home to find the house had been ransacked and many items were stolen. Presents, jewelry, TV’s, computers… basically anything of value that they could grab they took.

Having been robbed myself several years ago around Christmas time I know how they felt. Shocked, sick and violated. I believe the ones who robbed my home went out the back window as I pulled into the driveway. They had also stolen a spare key. Needless to say my roommate and I had the locks re-keyed that night and took turns keeping watch as we were both freaked out. These idiots came back a week later. We guessed it was to finish off the bottle of the good booze we had in the cabinet. I’m sure they were surprised they couldn’t get back in.

The first time “visited” they had helped themselves to a few drinks out of our coffee cups. Classy thieves. We had, of course, dumped the rest of the bottle as it felt dirty. They had ransacked our bedrooms, pulling everything out of drawers, flipping mattresses over and even drew on the bathroom mirror with my makeup. I tossed what was left because it felt unclean. The local law enforcement chalked it up to kids and the holidays. They only became more interested when they realized one of our legal, registered guns was taken. Even then, they weren’t too concerned. Neither was our landlord. We promptly moved out within 3 weeks to a home where we at least felt safer and got a big dog. It seems many thieves are deterred by large dogs and I had been wanting a dog so I got my Christmas wish on that. But the things we lost that couldn’t be replaced just made us sick. Family heirlooms and jewelry, our cameras and computers. We were by no means well off but they robbed us of things that we couldn’t place monetary value on because it was sentimental to us.

The thieves were finally caught about a year or so later. It was a ring of teens who had apparently been hitting homes and taking the items and selling them for cash. Several of the kids came from good homes. Of course, nothing of ours was recovered even though we had been regularly checking pawn shops and the like as had our friends for months in the hopes of recovering at least a few of the items that were taken from us.

Why do people feel the need to take from others? I mean don’t they have some kind of voice inside their head that says, “This is wrong. Karma’s a bitch & I don’t need to do this”?

I was an absolute wreck all day until I delivered those gifts for the kids. I had put them all in bags, then in large black plastic garbage bags to try and conceal what was inside. I was so worried someone would break into my jeep and try to steal the clothes and toys that had been collected and purchased for these babies.

What is sad is that I even felt that way at all. That I had to worry about someone breaking into my old beat up jeep and taking from children who wouldn’t have anything for Christmas if I did not get these gifts to their parents.

I ask you to please remember to be safe this holiday season. Lock your cars and your homes. Watch when you are out and about, even in broad daylight. It seems these people are getting bolder and not caring about the time of day, just that they have the “opportunity” to take something from others.

Tis the season to be joyful. It is also the time when, if we don’t do it all year as I think we should, we should be watching out for each other. Not taking from each other.

This greediness and self-entitlement needs to stop. Not just during the holidays, but all throughout the year. There is nothing worth dying for or going to prison for in someone else’s home, car or that doesn’t belong to you.

Let’s work to do the right thing. Not only for others but for yourself too. Because remember, what goes around comes around. Karma really is a bitch!

Keep an eye out but also keep your spirits high too.

Keep hope alive my fabulous friends!