Two pairs of shoes for one


This photo speaks volumes.

Two pairs of shoes.

Same size for the same boy.

It’s transition time.

He goes from mommy’s to dad’s.

I do everything to make it easy for him.

Sometimes he doesn’t want to go.

He doesn’t always want to leave me, but he loves his dad.

I assure him we both love him and want to spend time with him.

There is something about our bond.

Mother and son.

It isn’t something I can easily articulate.

He was born an old soul.

I saw it in his eyes as I held him in my arms those first nights, alone with him at the hospital.

Just this creature I gave birth to, myself and the kind nurses.

No matter how great my pain, I wanted him with me every time they brought him in from the nursery.

I Knew I would do Everything in my power to protect him.

I didn’t realize how hard that would be, but somehow this child that I created understands.

He knows that I will Love him No Matter What.

He’s learned that life and people are not perfect firsthand.

Including me.

He’s seen more than many children his age because he Sees.

He’s seen death, divorce and sadness.

He has Always known Love from his village.

And his mother.  

I am proud of how well he handles life.

His compassion and love of others.

His love of farting and being his crazy boy self.

The songs in his head and dance moves in his soul.

His amazing imagination and abilities to draw what he sees in his mind.

I love this child with my whole being.

But those shoes, they undo me.

He sees me smile and encourage him to have fun, love and enjoy his time with his other family.

He knows I miss him more than I will ever say.

I tell him I am in his heart and always with him.

I wait until he’s back in my arms again for my time.

My life isn’t perfect, but it is full with love.


Have a Fabulous Monday from a Fabulous Mama!

chaotic day

It’s a fabulous Monday and I am apparently a Fabulous Mama!

Many months ago I programmed the being on my phone known as Suri to call me Fabulous Mama. It was in a weak moment of entertainment. I randomly ask Suri for information and most often for directions. Suri’s voice is that of a British dude, again for my entertainment. The device may be smarter than me but I can enjoy some of the perks!

This past weekend the boy and I were out with friends and he got my phone and started asking it random questions. Seeing as how he was saying “doesn’t mommy have a cute booty butt?” and “where are the booty butts here?” Suri did not recognize him and asked him “Are you ok Fabulous Mama?” Needless to say this set off much laughter and amusement with our little group in the local pizzeria and went on into the rest of the evening.

As I was tucking the boy into bed he said, “You know, My lady, that you are My Fabulous Mama! Did you know? Did you know?! You are and Suri said what I already knewed!”

That is all the affirmation I need to know that this will be a fabulously wonderful week!

chaos in motion

Embrace the chaos and keep hope alive!!!