Monday take 2… Tuesday


I seriously did not want to get up yesterday. I was all comfy and snuggled in bed and the alarm went off and I thought of 10 reasons I could stay home. I let snooze go off at least 5 times, maybe more. I got up running, got up the boys, made coffee and got ready and didn’t stop at work until I left and then took calls.

We are growing, the company I work for. It is an awesome thing. It is also exhausting at times. It’s emotional, wonderful, frustrating and I can’t imagine anything I would rather do and be paid to do. Other than like sleep or something like that. No reality TV for me… HA!

There is so much I have to accomplish. I am trying and the struggle is real. I feel like just trying to keep myself and the boy fed, watered and alive should be considered major accomplishments at the moment. I feel tired.

The truth is I am happier than I have ever been and I am also pretty stressed… a twisted dichotomy to be sure.

I have some things in my personal life that are just sucky and other things that make me so happy deep down in my soul.

I have Hope! Keep Hope Alive!

I also have a lot on my plate so I’m going to go get ‘er done.

Hopefully, after today, Monday will be over… until next week and the cycle will begin again. Hopefully with the same start and better maotic days!

As the late, great George Carlin said, “Holy shit it’s only Tuesday?!” I feel ya George, I do.

I should know by now but sometimes I forget on finding my way back to me


I should know by now to not expect life to go as I planned or scheduled but sometimes I just have to question my sanity… or maybe I am question the sanity or lack thereof regarding others.

Life definitely keeps me on my toes.

I think I am going to turn right and end up having to go left. A whole over the river and through the woods adventure complete with mini personal stops tossed in. Add in lack of substance and it makes for caffeine infused and filterless Lady Maos! Yee-haw friends welcome to the week!

Of course the bonus is the boy is home! Seems he had an adventurous weekend as well! It’s so entertaining to hear him tell me what he does when he isn’t with me. He’s working on details and it’s hilariously amusing to see what he will say before reverting to potty talk… literally!

Lately it seems so many people are ill with some form of sickness or another. Loved ones and friends, myself included, by age, illnesses – some worse than others but everyone’s a fighter.

We are also getting more clients, which is great, but I’m required to keep everything within this “hourly” thing when I prefer “salary” because then any extras I do it doesn’t matter when I do an average of at least 4 extra hours a week but don’t necessarily care for the monetary gain.

It’s more than that. It’s the fulfillment of helping others and making lives gel. It’s helping others to remember their own humanity. It is beyond humbling and personal when you are helping someone with their activities of daily living… cleaning, bathing, grooming, bathroom, meal preparation, feeding – those are only a few of the things we do. We dance lightly through tangled webs of family dynamics to make sure our clients are cared for, no matter what is going on around them. Some are for a few hours a week, others are 5 days a week, and then there are those we are with 24/7.  Some people see us more than their own family. I love what I do. It is a part of who I am.

I also have my personal relationships and of course, the boy. The shining beacon in my world who keeps me much more grounded and helps somewhat in that filter thing I have issues with.

It is like I have to go through and around, down and under to get back to me. Re-set and go! Not starting over, just back on the path to where I am supposed to be.

I should know by now but sometimes I forget finding my way back to me.

I may slow down however, I never give up. I always keep hope alive!

Have a fabulous day!

Try not to get lost finding your way back to you my fabulously graceful friends!

Remember to breathe and never give up… someone’s always willing to help their fellow humans


never give up what you love to do

Trying to remember to stop and just breathe can be a challenge. Believing all things happen for a reason can be hard at times. So can Keep Hope Alive, but I will never give up. Life is too short. You never know that it could be the last time you will talk to someone, hear their voice or hug their neck. Life happens.

We are told” this is the way it is” and “God has a plan” and “it’s life”. All true but it still doesn’t make it any easier.

Not being able to handle things the way you want them to be or having a curve ball thrown your way just when you thought the game was done can cause chaos in the soul. How you react and handle yourself speaks volumes of the person you are deep inside.

be perfectly human

You may see yourself as being able to hand you anything, but believe me, there are things in this world that can take you to your knees. It can knock the “I can handle anything” right out of your vocabulary because newsflash… WE ARE ALL HUMAN. WE HAVE FLAWS. WE ARE NOT INVINCIBLE. No matter how hard we strive and wish to be.

What I can handle someone else may be unable to and what someone else can handle I may can only deal with some of it or I have a complete come apart on my hands. It isn’t a case of someone being better than someone else, it means we are all human and each and every experience is different for each and every one of us.

I’ve have quite a few different jobs in my life and my hands down favorite is taking care of others.

charlie b being ther for someone

Whether it’s helping out around the house, driving and running errands, being with someone who has memory issues or taking care of someone who is terminal and handling the ugly ins and outs of that, I love to take care of others.

I am not the only one of my kind. However, there are levels to what I can and can’t do. Just like many others in my field, there are some that can help give someone a shower and some that can’t. I happen to be one that can. It becomes very personal when you are helping someone do something very basic that most of us take for granted. Most people never even think about it as it isn’t exactly everyday conversation for them. I completely understand and get that.

That is why I do what I do. I’m not in it for the money, but people think that because I have “office manager” in my title and I do marketing I’m making the “big bucks”. So far from the reality but I love finding the fit between clients and caregiver. It can be challenging but I love helping people make the human connection. I believe in where I work and promote it, as in marketing. I also fill in on cases, hard ones, when people call out and I need to be making sure everyone is being cared for but I know this person NEEDS our help and I can do it so I do.

This weekend I have been on call. My phone didn’t ring at all after 4:30 PM Friday afternoon. It started ringing Saturday morning at 9:12 and hasn’t stopped. I will be making sure folks are taken care of today. It’s what I do. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. I feel on the edge of panic. What if someone is left alone that I’m responsible for? I really don’t have control of other people and I can only count on maybe 1/3 of those people to be truly “available” when they say they will be. Heck just getting them to answer their phones can be challenging some days!

caring is being htere whenu want to be somewhere lese

My boss and I joked that when I’m on call things always happened. Multiple calls (right after we put an ad in the papers for help – who calls on a Saturday at 7 in the freaking morning or at 9 at night for a job?!), people calling out, clients needing care, caregivers having to leave due to sickness/family emergency in mid-shift, clients going to hospital – yeah it’s going to happen on my watch!   

So I am going forth this day with a prayer for hope, peace and calm. I hope I handle this day with a boatload of fabulousness and maybe even a bit of grace for this graceless chick.

hope keeps you going

As always, my motto is KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!

*Also, I have 42 WordPress followers, 42 is the answer to everything in the universe per The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy which means Life is Fabulous Things are Happen’ Train!*

 42

Fun, Fabulous and Finally Friday!


Halleluiah it’s Finally Fabulous Friday!

finally friday

It’s not that I don’t have work to do but it’s the hope that I will be “done” when this workday is over. As in, off the clock kind of done. I do love my job but I feel like I have been “on” for two weeks and I guess technically I have. The type of work I do, I get too into it and really need to step away sometimes. It doesn’t mean I won’t still worry, but it means I am not the one who is responsible for our clients and I am not the one on call after 5:00! Carrying the weight of being responsible for someone else’s welfare is stressful.

I can promise you I am not in it for the money because this calling I have to take care of others does not pay as much as my project management job in telecom that I had previously. I love what I do now and before I didn’t love what I did but I needed the paycheck.

When I got laid off due to industry wide layoffs in the fall of 2014, I was a little freaked about not getting a regular paycheck, not counting unemployment for a few months, but I was actually relieved. The stress and the plain meanness of some people in the industry had done me in after only 3.5 years.

It is sad that the industry of taking care of others pays so little. Our daycare workers, teachers and caregivers get paid the lowest amounts yet they are the ones we entrust the very lives of our loved ones with. I know in caregiving in general, even in private pay, the average person can only allot so much for care.

I have families that need someone 24/7 but can only afford 8-10 hours a day. I have people who have no one and just need someone to take them to an medical appointment because you can’t drive yourself if you have anesthesia. I have people who can no longer drive and need someone to take them places. I have others who just need companionship for their loved ones. I have others that should be under medical care but can’t, or won’t, go the extra mile so they get someone to come in and “sit” with their loved one to “help out”.

4 types of people

I work with people who have loved ones who need the care, but want to tell me how it needs to be done and they don’t listen to the person receiving the care of how they want it done. Awkward!

I have employees who don’t show, walk off or quit calling in. I wonder if they would do it if the roles were reversed. I wonder how they made it as long in the industry as they have. I wonder why they ask for work only to turn it down or not show. I question, if I hired them, why I didn’t pick up on those flaws.

One of the people I work with, after talking to me and hearing me answer several other calls and taking care of caregivers and client needs, said, “Well I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.” I calmly looked at her and said, “We don’t discuss pay with each other but I can guarantee I am not in this for the money, therefore I am not making the big bucks.” She thought I was offended but I was amused.

Anytime you say the word “manager” in your title it is automatically assumed that you make a lot of money. I am not sure why this is. I do know several management jobs that don’t pay squat and others that pay mega bucks. I am closer to the squat side that the mega side and I am truly okay with that because in my soul I am at peace with what I do every day.

Yes, I love my job but today, I am thankful it is Friday!

never give up

It is a fantastically, fabulous, rainy Friday but we made it!

And all because I always Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

Finding my groove again


I have recently started a new job and I love it. However, after not working full time for about a year, I am struggling to get back into some sort of groove. I knew it would be challenging, but I didn’t know it would be quite this hard.

On the plus side, I truly love what I am doing. I have an awesome, understanding boss and it is very close to home. I do have to drive across town some, but it is totally worth it because I believe in our mission and I love helping people. I feel like I actually have a career again, something I did not have with my last full time job. I am making about half of what I made, but I have opportunity for advancement and know I can help grow the company. People need the services we provide, and having been on both sides of the field, I have a broader and understand the needs of both the clients and the caregivers. Yes, I need the money but I know that I don’t want to just work for more money and be completely miserable. It isn’t worth it and it isn’t fair to me or mine.

My biggest challenge has been managing my time so that I am still fully there for the boy and keeping up with my blog on a daily basis. The first is easy in some ways. I will always be there for him I just have to figure out how I can rearrange things so we can continue to do things together in shorter amounts of time.

I can’t stop writing; I think a part of me would be lost without my blog. It’s funny how something I started on the side has grown into something that fills me up.

I am already loosing time with friends and family because my free time is not as abundant as it once was. Even when I had more free time, I was cramming it so full of things that I was not getting things done. Then I get stressed and sick and then nothing gets done.

So in a way going back to full time work is forcing me to be better with my time management. I am nowhere close but I am getting there. Keep hope alive! It’s the best motto for me.

We often get so caught up in our own lives and our own needs, in what we think is important, that we forget those things that matter most. We forget to look at life from a different perspective. It isn’t always easy and it is easier to rationalize to ourselves that the way we are doing/seeing something is the best course. But if we look closely and examine it, we realize that we are doing what is best for us or easier for us or so we think. It is hard to think otherwise. It is easy to be selfish and blame life or circumstances for why we can’t follow through or be there for someone. Sometimes it is the truth. Other times it is an excuse because we don’t want to look too hard at the things that really matter. It can be depressing.

Life is so precious. We never know how much time we have. I know I don’t want to waste another second on regrets. I have too many as it is. I work to turn my regrets into life learning experiences. Not all of them are but I am learning that sometimes I can find a small morsel that I can learn from. I do my best to not repeat the things that cause the regret in the first place.

So today I am moving forward with hope and positive thoughts. I am going to banish the negativity and not be as hard on myself. I can be my own worst critic.

As one of my wonderfully, fabulously close friend says, “It’s a great day to be alive!” It is. No matter what crazy life thing happens, we woke up alive. We may have aches and pains, there may be fear or drama or things out of our control, but we can control how we react to people, places and situations.

Choose to be positive. Choose to keep hope alive. Choose life.

I hope you all have a fabulously wonderful Wednesday.

Much hope, happiness and positive thoughts,

Lady Maos