Happy places, my mind and good memories


Whenever I realize I need to calm the hell down, I search my mind for a happy memory.

Lately my life has been so maotic I can’t even remember to do the basic things I need to do. I have missed calls, texts and emails. I have missed deadlines, lunches and people who counted on me. It may not be that extreme but it is pretty close.

I have had absolutely fabulous things happen in my world. Things I couldn’t imagine would be so wonderful but that also require me to give of myself which I gladly do.

The boy is definitely a highlight of my universe. I think he is working on his own comedy bit. Finding humor in everyday life, he has been quite full of it. A fine example is the other evening after his bath, we were putting on his lotion and he accidentally slung it on my face. When I pointed out he had flung it onto my glasses he exclaimed, “WELL CAN YOU SEE? If you can’t see then I definitely need to apologize, but if you can see, well then that’s just funny!” All said while wildly gesturing naked, of course. It made me laugh when I really needed it and it makes me laugh just thinking about it.

I think of people and places that make me happy. I think of nature and how much I love being out in it, even in the rain. I think of flea markets and nature preserves, of beaches and mountains. I think of the endless possibilities of people and situations that make my life better, richer and so much more entertaining.

I guess I am trying to say, when you feel like you are slipping and you’re grasping at the strings of life in the mist of the maos, find something inside of you that makes you happy. The good, warm in your belly kind of happy. We all deserve that.

Keep hope alive!

 

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Ch-ch-changes are happening!


Ch-ch-changes are happening in my life right now!

It is exciting, maotic and crazy all at once… like I expect my life any other way!

My office is finally going to be more than a shoe box! I have been working hard since I started to help grow the company I work with and grow we have – doubled what was going on when I started! It’s exciting and a bit terrifying at the same time. Better office, more responsibilities and I am sure a bit more stress! But that is what life is all about right?! Personally I am excited!

My personal life is always so up in the air but I am in a happy place right now. In fact, it is nice to not have to worry about someone being upset with me for not being where they feel I need to be. Being accepted for who and what you are makes life easier to handle. Of course the boy always accepts me for me, no matter what. That is a beautiful thing to know that someone loves you no matter what and that it is an unconditional love. I have wonderful family and friends both near and far away. I miss those who aren’t as close, but we know we have each others backs when needed even if we can’t physically be there for each other.

Yes I can feel the changes in the air and I see the changes on the horizon.

All I can say is Keep Hope Alive and bring it on!

Change, be it good or bad, is going to happen. It’s all in how you deal with it. I chose to go into the day with hope, happiness and of course my own fabulously graceless style!

Have a beautiful day!

The thoughts go around inside of my mind


Thoughts go around inside of my mind, laughter madness a sing song rhyme

My emotions run back and forth through time

Happiness, sadness, joy and fear

Learning more with each passing year

Finding myself and losing another

Remembering we are all sisters and brothers

Mothers and fathers, daughters and sons

Familial bonds throughout the ruins

Assigned and chosen, both sides together

Stronger than granite yet light as a feather

My hope and my prayer is Keep Hope Alive

For I know through it all that I will survive.

Life, adventures and wicked sense of humor


imagination tinkerbell

It seems like life has a wicked sense of humor. Or either I have a really skewed perspective. One of the two but I haven’t figure it out yet. It’s fine by me right now.

I am just trying to survive at this point! It’s been a bit of a maotically challenging week. Who am I kidding? It’s been stressful, exhausting and draining. My body hurts more than it has in ages and all I want to do is sleep.

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I have so much to do so I decided the boy and I are going on an adventure today… I am sure I will need medications and maybe a scooter to get through it. Sometimes it can be hard keeping up with a 5 year old boy when your body is falling apart. However, I will not give up that easily.

See?! My pity party only lasted seconds… more or less!

My motto is always keep hope alive!

I hope we all get through this day with a little faith, hope and pixie dust!

Art courtesy of the boy *African art which he translated into a zombie art project with the zombie spiders along with he and I… he’s so creative and his teacher was impressed with his imagination and color choices!

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sweet sleep


sleep

So many nights I wish for sleep and though my body and being is tired, sometimes exhausted more than usual, I cannot sleep.

I can close my eyes and my mind goes. It’s like a movie that changes from scene to scene every few seconds. Maos.

Sleep restores the body and soul.

Sometimes it is so hard to just slow my mind and make my body completely relax. I get so keyed up and often for no reason. Okay I admit, I do a lot of “my things” at night after everyone is in bed and often my brain is more creative and flexible. I can usually get things done and go right into REM pretty darn quick because I most likely will have to be up for something!

I usually can just fall asleep because I know sleep is precious and it heals and helps me. If a situation calls to be dealt with the next day, I can usually handle what I can and then go to bed and pass out.

mothers no sleep

Maybe it’s one of the side effects of having a child but when he’s sleeping and it’s late and I know I have to get both of us up in the morning, I will sleep. If I know I have to be at work or get something done I go to sleep as early as I can, like by 11-ish cause I am a night owl, because I am Not a morning person.

I can be cordial and polite, heck I can even get things accomplished and be around other people without saying something rude early in the mornings but oh it’s so much easier and better with just a little sleep!

So my wish for everyone today is to get some fabulous sleep in because believe me it’s precious! I need sleep in order to live better!

Keep Hope Alive!

Oh and I put this little gem on my nightstand, a bit of artwork from the boy that just speaks to me!

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New Year, no resolutions but facing life with Creativity!


Recently I stated that I wasn’t going to do New Year’s resolutions or challenges. I then read the fabulous CandidKay and how she chooses a word or phrase instead of doing New Year’s Resolutions. Honestly the lady inspires me to be a better human and helps me see that I Can pull things off and I Love her views and writings and there I go rambling but yeah, she inspires me check her out! http://candidkay.com/

Because of reading, contemplating and of course reading research, it became clear to me I needed to find a word to focus on for 2016. I follow some amazing authors and they have all been inspiring… in fact it’s on the list of topics for 2016…and there I scurry with the squirrels again.

Do you know how many words there are out there and OCD me needed to pick just ONE, but how hard it is for me to choose just one to describe and get through a year?! I went into a little overload and then BAM it came to me.

Creative.

Creativity.

creativity

It just lights a fire in me on pretty much everything that I am passionate about.

My boy. My loves. My mind. My life. My health. My writing. My career. Me.

The things I want to improve upon and also those things I need to change in order to be a better human being.

I was flipping through a magazine when I said it. “I need to make lists of all of the things that I want to change and/or improve upon… starting with my health cause this magazine is inspiring to me to look at new healthy ideas.”

The notebooks, all shapes, types and sizes, have been brought out and are being organized and compared for which ones work best to blend my personal with my work.

My life is all intertwined in itself.

I can’t pretend things that happen at work do not affect me at home and vice versa. Yes, I can make sure I am taking care of life in the moment and not “mix and drag” work and home. However, the bottom line is I am the one handling both and since I dealt with the split personalities years ago, it’s still all me dealing with both sections of my life and being very cautious about my mixology. Let me tell you I am one damn fine cocktail mixer too! Sometimes things are bit to strong and others they may not be strong enough but I can guarantee I will work to get the balance just right.

I’m so excited if affects me All The Time! Like being on drugs but not. High on endorphins, yeah! And if I am honest right at this moment, Coca-Cola as in “Have a Coke and a smile”. Okay maybe a few too many of those but sadly no mix with it other than the evil antibiotics treating the alien infestation of a sinus infection I was gifted with this holiday season. But see, even that isn’t getting in the way of my being more Creative and thinking more Creatively and putting that Creativity into Action in my life. It is, of course, working out fabulously! After all, I am the Queen of Keep Hope Alive!

I am feeling that 2016 will be better than ever!

I am feeling the blending and clinking of life finally coming together the way I have seen it in my mind for far too long but the dreams are finally coming to reality. Slowly. Surely.

That I am moving forward and facing life with Creativity and Hope. Alive and with a passion I was missing a bit of but have found again.

I am sending out a prayer of HOPE and CREATIVITY for each and every human out there. Starting with the fabulous faithful following FabulousGracelessness and spreading out like peanut butter into the world. That every human on the planet finds moments of hope, creativity, peace and compassion this year. That we find more tolerance, not only for ourselves and our loved ones, but those we don’t even know.

I am asking everyone to Keep Hope Alive!

It’s going to be a Fabulous 2016!

My inner creative graceless maos Knows it!

2016

Recovering the Saturday after Christmas


364 days til christmas

Recovery from the holidays, specifically Christmas, can be a challenge. It seems so much goes into the planning and presentation. After every one oohhhhs and ahhhhhs it appears to get devoured within minutes. Everything that was so pretty and organized is demolished within such a short period of time. I always mean to take before and after photos but forget.

I am usually helping make part of it and I always seem to be cleaning up.

Of course I am also all up in it with the boy, a big kid myself. I cut back on the Santa as well as what I was giving him, but he still had so much! Of course family and friends add to the bounty he receives so he is not wanting for anything. It’s funny to see him tear through gifts, say a brief thank you to the givers and rip into another gift. It’s funnier as he’s soooo excited because, hey let’s be real, it’s usually toys.

Then it’s happens… clothes. My sister-in-law and I laughed so hard because he went in for the grab with excitement on his face and he just stopped. He was instantly perplexed. Why would he get clothes? Grant it cool looking clothes but yet not toys? It’s Christmas who gives toys besides parents and grandparents? Well, aunts, uncles and friends but it always throws him!

The joys of being young and saying what you are thinking. “Mommy this food is nasty! I am so not eating this!” Not the discretion I have been working with him on, but at a table with 7 adults and his cousin. Did I mention his aunt, bless her as she teaches kids and she knows how they can be but still, is the one who’s food he deemed “nasty”?! She and I were trying to not laugh while another cousin and new spouse looked mortified.

They have no experience with children, as was evident throughout the night! Or shall I say smaller children. The boy is 5 and his cousin, whom he calls his little brother, is not quite 2. It was asked, how we “make them eat.” Words like behavioral and eating habits were used to ask about our children. Also, when they offered to play with the boys, they quickly learned rules changed and organization and order were not on the schedule! Seriously, give a five-year-old Lincoln Logs and a remote control car and things are going to be demolished. Your “follow the directions” log cabin you built for him? Maybe you understand when I said it’s like your favorite character on the “Walking Dead” or “Game of Thrones”, it will die so don’t get attached! Yeah, I meant that! It wasn’t just pretty words or me being nice.

Recovery is a nice word for it. Today we recover from the maos of the Christmas holidays! I hope you all do have a fantastically, fabulous Saturday and get to relax.

As always, keep hope alive!

day after xmas

The perceptions of expectations


Expectation. Noun: the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation. The act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

Expect. Verb: to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of: I expect to read it. I expect him later. She expects that they will come. To look for with reason or justification: We expect obedience.

I have observed how, in my opinion, people place expectations on people and things to a great degree. Their happiness and moods seem to depend on the actions of others or things that we really have no control of.

I, myself, am guilty of putting expectations on people and places/situations/things that I have no control of. Yet I let it control my level of happiness and emotions. Sometimes I get upset that people do not meet up to expectations I believe they should be following. Sometimes I realize this is completely irrational and have to stop and remind myself that I have control of no one, with the exception, somewhat, of the boy and even he is his own being. I expect him to mind, follow directions, show respect and use manners. I also expect him to have an occasional meltdown or act out. He is after all only 5.

However, it seems when it comes to adults, I have to decide if I can live with people not living up to what I “thought” my expectations are of that person. Straight off, people who continually lie or try to bring any harm to me and mine are gone. Sorry, I can’t have that. But what about those “other” expectations that seemed so important in the beginning?

Let me share an example. When I first met a friend of mine we clicked immediately. We did things together, share our lives and had a grand time. She became another “sister” to me. Then I moved across the country. While we spent many hours in each other’s company prior to my moving, she was notorious for not using her phone, losing her phone and forgetting to call. When I moved I don’t know why I thought this would change, because by that point, we had known each other several years and I had already accepted this about her. I realized I could choose to walk away from a friendship or accept the way she was. I chose to keep her. I know I have things about me that she chose to keep me over those things that irritate. I am grateful. We have been “sisters” for nearly 20 years. We have gone through all kinds of life situations, good, bad and plain hellish, yet we have stayed friends because for better or worse. We chose to keep each other. We have both forgotten something that was important to the other and have both chose selfishly at times, yet we work to keep our friendship.

In spite of the “expectations” people have of what friendship should be like, I continue to cherish this valuable friendship in my life. We could both choose to end our friendship, but why would we when it is a treasure to have someone who truly cares and has your best interest? She has a spouse, child and family who is also there. Yet she keeps me around. Most likely for entertainment but we find each other hysterically funny and definitely find something of value in each other.

Oftentimes I find that I am not living up to expectations of others. Sometimes I realize it and will talk to the person about it. Other times I have no idea I have even “messed up.” Many times it is miscommunication or misunderstandings. Rarely do I loose friends. I see it as life is precious and the humans in this life are a part of something larger than just us. Each and every one of us are different. We all have different thoughts, feelings and beliefs. I do not agree with everything my friends and family do or say nor do they agree with everything I do or say. Yet we still choose to be around each other. We choose to continue to have relationships with each other, even when it can be hard.

I believe we choose to change those “expectations” because we love that person enough to know that we want them as a part of our life, even with the craziness, no matter what it may be.

We change our perception of what our expectations are because we don’t want to lose someone special to us over something we may not agree with or even like, but the overall person is most definitely worth it.

It may be worth taking a look at your perceptions and weighing it against the overall picture.

Sometimes, expectations are way over-rated!

I hope y’all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

Accidental texting can be fabulously amusing


accidentally send

You know the feeling… that moment you hit send and you think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that text because Lord only knows how it will sound”?! Yeah, I do that on occasion. More often than I should. Most recently I sent my sister-in-law a text after accidentally calling her in which I texted, “OMG I am so sorry I boob dialed you” complete with the little emoticons laughing with tears. Oh yes I sent that. And now I am sharing it here because that is how I am! I never got a response so I am thinking, am I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen? It still makes me laugh! I just can’t help it!

Of course there are other texts that I send and I question if I sound harsh, rude or cold sounding. Text is pretty bare bones. One would think it’s black and white but of course it can’t be that easy!

I recently learned that when I send long text, imagine me getting a bit wordy, that if you don’t have the same type of phone that I have it comes across in broken text boxes. Example: “d anything down or in since his tot’s cake. I have an indoor/out” new box, “door George foreman never used…” You get the idea. It’s like trying to figure out code! I was oblivious this happened to others when I sent longer texts when one of my friends just called me because she said, “You have no idea what it looked like you were trying to say!” We both had a good laugh but I tucked that information in my mind so that going forward, I will try a little harder to not write a short story when texting.

I am also in the category of accidentally texting the wrong person back on occasion. The great part is usually it’s similar to a conversation I was having with them so it’s fine for a text or two, then by the third and fourth back and forth I realize that I have yet again texted the wrong person! Yes, I have embarrassed myself a time or ten with that one.

dead body text

Technology is great and all but sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming. Accidental texting is just one of many things I have done with my smarter-than-me-phone.

It just goes to show, we are all human and all make mistakes. In my case, it tends to be at the amusement of others for the most part. As for my sister-in-law, she never said a word about the text when I saw her!

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

no text n drive