Being responsible


Once you get to a certain point in your life you have to take responsibilities for things in your life. You can’t always blame others because something you wanted didn’t work out. You can’t shun your responsibilities because you don’t like someone and they make you “mad”.

When you have a child or children the responsibilities grow. Even if you aren’t the “full time” parent or you are “co-parenting”, you have to communicate so that you are doing what is best for your child/children and not what is best for you. You may not like the other parent, but if they are present in your child’s life you have to make the best of things, suck it up and get along.

I have heard so many stories, and live through my own, of single parenting. It is not easy no matter how hard you try you it seems you will always feel guilt. Recently the boy had seen a preview for one of those Disney on Ice events and wanted to go. I looked into and it is only playing during the time he is with his dad. So I told him to ask them to take him. I feel like he might but he explicitly wants me to go. I can’t exactly explain to my 5-year-old that his dad is not my biggest fan and that I can’t just take him during a time when he is supposed to be with his dad. Instead I advise him to ask his dad or his grandparents and promise him I will find something for us to do. When pressed I remind him his dad and grandparents miss him and wants to spend time with him like I do.

I realize that I am fortunate in that right now my son and I are very close. When his dad and I split up, I realized how hard it was going to be on him to not have both parents “there” all the time. He is my miracle boy and we have a bond that runs deep.

I have been consistent in how I talk to him, work with him and keep some semblance of a schedule for him. I communicate with his dad and grandparents as to what I am doing so that if they so desire, they can do something similar. He knows he has different rules depending on where he is. The fact that he is only 5 is often lost when he comes out with adult insights that most adults can’t see. He has been in situations of loss that most people don’t experience quite so early in life and has come out rather well balanced. I am not being biased as his teachers and doctors have agreed that he is quite amazing and have handled situations with a maturity of a much older child while still maintaining his little boy ways.

Most of all he knows I love him no matter what and that his mommy will always be there for him if I am able. He doesn’t doubt it. He knows he can depend on me. Earlier this year I had major surgery. He does karate one day a week and it’s a day that every other week he is with either myself or his dad. I go to every class. Since he started 9 months ago I have only missed 3 classes and all were due to medical reasons. He knows he can look up week after week and his mommy will be there, whether he’s going home with me or not, supporting him and cheering him on.

When you’re responsible for children, you can’t always act on your emotions. You may not realize how much what you do impacts that child and children can be more insightful than you realize. You may think your little wild child isn’t paying attention to your conversation with your friends, but when he ends up blurting out bits and pieces over the next few weeks at inappropriate times, you realize just how much he listened! He can’t repeat back to you what just came out of your mouth when he’s supposed to be learning yet he can quote verbatim a conversation you had with your friends and had no idea he was listening. It’s freaky. True Story!

I guess I am just trying to say we all have responsibilities on varying levels. I just wish more people would stand up to what they need to do even if it means sucking it up and being “nice” to someone you are quite so fond of for the sake of others. Not just a child. But people that matter to you.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

Moon Love


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We danced.

Under the full moon on the balcony, we danced.

We laughed and played.

We ate good, played in the ocean but most of all we danced and sang.

Your favorite color is red.

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You tell me I am your favorite, bestest mommy you’ve ever had.

I tell you I dreamed of you before you were here.

“Did you always love me?”

“Always! I love you more each day and more than I did a minute ago.”

“Even when I’m bad? Do you still love me then?”

“I love you no matter what.”

Now we sing and dance some more.

Me and my miracle.

I pray for many more full moons with you.

And know my love for you is overflowing.

*Dedicated to my boy, Tuesday’s child full of Grace*

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Finding old friends in the spaces of our lives


Sometime in this life if we are really lucky, we meet some of the best people.

We call them friends.

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If we are really, really lucky, we find those find in the spaces from our past.

Those people we always liked but didn’t know so well due to different groups of friends or age. Or maybe because we were really shy when we were trying to seem cool.

One of the best parts of that is finding those people as adults.

Talking and learning each other and finding out the why as to why we were drawn to them all those years ago.

We find ourselves talking for hours about not the “good old days”, but our lives now. Were we’ve been and what’s gone on in our lives since we last saw each other.

I love hearing how we’ve grown but also have that core of who we were.

I love finding those “new” friends.

Or re-connecting to those you somewhat knew, and figuring out you wish you’d talked to this person way back then more so that this incredible human could have been in your life all along.

I think the universe likes to make us wait so we still keep getting to experience that thrill of a new friendships.

For me, moving back to my home state after being a gypsy so many years I am having those experiences.

Some people are flat out crazy.

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Some are all about drama. Still. We are out of high school please move along!

Yet others are those rare gems.

Recently I spoke to a friend that I can honestly say it’s been over 20 years since we have talked.

Both of us were a bit shyer then.

However, we have both figured out who we are (still works in progress), had kids and life experiences that seems to make us more open to the right people needed in our lives.

People laugh at me when I say I collect friends.

Human are unique creatures each of whom has a different outlook and perspective on life.

I enjoy talking to people and seeing if their brand of crazy gels with mine.

I relish getting into a conversation where I don’t want to hang up the phone because I am enjoying the company so well.

Finding out how much we have in common and enjoying listening to that person’s voice.

It is truly one of those special moments I never take for granted.

No matter if our lives have been totally different or followed similar courses.

The fun is finding similarities that I find so ironic.

How we both have moved around a lot!

We are now both single parents raising our sons.

The amusement we share in so many things.

The honesty of our words.

Because let’s face it. Not everyone is honest.

People want to “put on a front” of how “great” they are and make themselves seem to be the people they want to be and not who they are.

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But this conversation?!

I felt like the scene in Jaws where everyone is comparing their scars!

I am still on that happy high of finding another like me and mine! Someone I knew but I had just “lost” through the years.

Maybe we were trying to shock each other.

Or maybe we were just testing the waters to make sure that we are really ok with being friends.

I know that for me, I feel pretty certain I have found another I won’t let go of.

Finding a friend who is honest, makes me laugh and understand other aspects of life that so many don’t is like finding a gold mine for some.

Yet it’s “just” one person.

But that person by just being my friend, has put a smile on my face and given me hope yet again.

They may never know how I feel, but I hope they know that I respect and appreciate them for being themselves.

That I will most definitely make sure I tell them!

Life is too short to judge.

Life is too short to lie.

When you feel it in your gut you know what the right thing is for you.

As for me, I am doing the happy dance I found another soul as nutty as me who’s willing to share space and have some fun.

No judgment. No expectations other than friendship.

That is a Fabulous feeling indeed!

I hope you all have a Graceless Sunday and a Fabulous week!

Keep hope alive my friends!