Writing my blog and what I am thinking… I need to not filter myself


I write how I feel and what I am thinking.

I write goofy poems, rhymes and sometimes nonsense.

I write stories and thoughts from other’s lives and things they’ve shared with me or that I have observed.

Often my words have been taken out of context.

Some have tried to use my own words against me.

Some have contacted me and thanked me for sharing as it reflected their own life.

I have received calls, texts and emails asking if I am okay. I can promise you, if it is here, I have most likely processed it and I am doing just fine…probably. Sometimes I allow myself to write raw. That can be dangerous as I just “let it go” and spew onto the paper. Sometimes I keep those and don’t let anyone see it. Sometimes it’s better that way.

When I chose to start a blog, I just did it. I had been told I couldn’t do it or I couldn’t commit to it for even a month. Most of those people aren’t around me anymore. The others I guess are eating their words.

I didn’t know how easy it was but also it is harder too. It’s like a double edge sword.

I still feel somewhat censored but I am working on that. Sometimes saying how you feel is a good thing. Other times even though it is cathartic for me, I may not sound so nice to others. That I even care is impressive to me.

I have always been the one marching to her own beat and being a bit of a rebel.

My blog is MY BLOG. Yet I find myself filtering myself. How ironic is that?

I am seeing what I really need to work on through my writing.

In writing, I find myself again.

 

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