Manic Monday in 3D!


Today we have Manic Monday in 3D!

manic monday horse

This gal is on her way back home from the great northern adventures and visiting with friends and family!

I am sure there will be things that do not go according to plan, Mr. Murphy please take those laws and go!

We’ve no time for all that!

For we are going down the highway of life and living it to the fullest!

on the road

There’s no need for the dramas and the trials today!

Nor for any other!

So yes we have frantic, manic, even sometimes panic Mondays!

That does not mean we do not face them head on and break on through to the other side! Thank you Mr. Jim Morrison!

I urge you to Never Lose Hope!

Never give up!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

keep hope alive

Especially on manic Mondays!

Have a great one Y’all!

Stay Fabulous!

 

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My lifetime love of books and reading


I love to read.

I love to read just about anything really.

When I don’t read I feel like I am lost.

A ship set adrift on an ocean of silence.

I can get lost in a book.

Yes a real, honest to God book with paper pages.

I do read on the computer, the kindle, my smarter-than-me phone and iPad.

I still enjoy the newspaper and magazines.

But a book is what can calm me.

Can make me loose myself for hours. Days.

I get so caught up in them I feel as though I am a part of another world.

I find my moods sometimes run the course of the characters while I am reading.

So reading something soul scathing or “horrifying” can twist my mind.

My train of thought never strays far from the pages I am reading and I find myself talking and thinking in the manner of the characters I absorb.

No I don’t get all psycho crazed serial killer, motherless, faithful, happy human on people… like I said I read a bit of everything!

But I can’t help but wonder how they would think, talk or react in situations or conversations I am in.

It’s like they become real.

Maybe it’s because I started reading at such a young age.

My imagination took me to magical places. Dark places. Places most of my friends didn’t visit mostly due to the things I learned in the books I read.

I read The World Book Encyclopedias and others of the same genre because I had access to them.

Before the internet I remember sneaking into the adult section in the library.

Not to read the love stories or the erotica, though I did read those, but to real the real life stories they didn’t necessarily allow in the kids section.

It’s like they wanted to hide us from the realities of life.

I remember reading Amityville Horror when I was around 12. I had to hide it because I would have bad dreams and it was definitely not something this 12 year old girl needed to be reading with my vivid imagination! I remember I would jump when the house would creak. I was a rebel hiding my books so I wouldn’t get in trouble!

It was close to the time when the original “Poltergeist” movie came out. Yeah, I totally freaked myself out! Between that and Cujo I was definitely on my way to loving horror movies and books were something I could do anytime and almost anyplace.

I learned to read in the car to tune out my brother.

When I got in trouble and had to go to my room I read.

Can’t watch TV? Read a book.

I can actually say I read more than I watch TV.

I went years without cable only watching the occasional movie and TV at friend’s homes. This was when I was an adult!

I also have no choice but to finish a book. I can’t not finish. Maybe it’s my OCD or maybe it’s because I started it and I have to finish it. Even when it’s horrible writing and painful to get through I have to finish.

When I read I learn. I look up things that I don’t understand and still have a dictionary, not dictionary.com, to look up words if I am unsure of the meaning.

Some call me odd and that’s ok.

I would rather read than talk to people some days!

I urge you to read something.

An article, a book, whether printed on paper or electronic reading just read!

In enriches your world!

Have a fabulously graceless day!

 

The Knitting Circle


“Will the circle be unbroken Bye and bye Lord, bye and bye There’s a better home awaiting In the sky Lord, in the sky”

 I haven’t sat in a knitting/crocheting circle in at least 30 years.

I had forgotten the fun and comradery of the ladies in these groups.

It’s more than just about knitting a scarf, hat or gloves.

It’s about sharing time together.

Everyone is genuinely friendly and seem to care about the others and their lives.

They all love a project and love to share what they are doing.

They even give you instructions on how to do this!

How do I know this you ask?

Because this week I officially became a part of one of the best knitting guilds around.

And the best part is I am just learning how to knit!

I thoroughly enjoyed taking the lady I am caring for to her group.

I thought I would sit away from the group and write or read.

However I was introduced and the conversations started did not stop!

Somehow within 45 minutes of my being there, I was handed a pair of knitting needles and told to “follow her”. Her being the lovely lady who was in charge of the group. She led me into another room with a closet that held boxes and boxes of yarn.

I was told to “pick one” and the one that “spoke to me.”

 knitting

I am so thrilled!

We are making items for the Salvation Army and I will now be contributing a scarf!

For the record I will be going once a week with “Miss Candy” as it seems I am now a part of this lovely group.

Pictographs of knitting has been found on cave walls and the walls in the temples of ancient Egypt.

It has been around for thousands of years.

I learned so much from these ladies who were knitting for various reasons, a baby blanket, scarves for others and self, fingerless gloves and a few other items I did not get to examine yet.

These ladies are magical with their hands, two needles and a ball of yarn!

I somewhat feel like I am back in school as I was sent home with my starter knitting, my needles, yarn and bless them, written instructions for the most basic scarf!

They were so patient in teaching me and honestly, every one of the 14 ladies present made a point to tell me hello and say they are thrilled to see “the younger generation” taking a shine on an art that some feel is dying out.

I can see what they mean.

Home Economics used to teach knitting, cooking and home making.

Now there is “culinary arts” but not a lot of knitting and home making.

Schools don’t want to look as if they are not with the times and I get that. I really do.

But when they are cutting funding for basic things like physical education and how to live, not just sex education, they are in a way cutting off the very fiber of what has been taught for generations.

Sitting in the knitting group I fit in.

No matter what my age is, I am with kindred souls.

Knitting is good for the soul.

You can knit pretty much anywhere you can read a book which was always my escape.

But a bonus is you can talk and knit if you like. For someone like me this is a wonderful thing to keep my hands busy and my mouth busy at the same time too!

I get another lesson on Friday when I take Miss Candy to another appointment and you can bet I am looking forward to it.

I hope you all have a fabulous Wednesday!

Moments


At times I feel only have stolen moments.

There are moments I give to others

Some are obligations I give freely

Others are obligations I begrudgingly oblige

Some are wanted

Many are not

Some are unexpected

Those are both happy and sad

Good and bad

Ecstasy and terror

Moments

Brief or long it is all we have

I often forget how to give to myself

Moments I need to breathe

Moments I need for my sanity

Mere moments

Yet they yearn for more

Clamor for my precious moments

I try and I fail

I disappoint

Them, myself I am disappointment

Steal them

Take them

Rip them from me

Mere moments in time

What more do I have to give but moments?

I hope you all have fabulous moments today!

 

Life throws you curves


Sometimes life throws you curve balls and you expect it.

It still rocks you but you stand pretty firm.

Then sometimes there are those curve balls you were not expecting.

The ones that rock you to the core and leave you going, “What just happened?!”

It’s funny how an email and phone call can change your world in amazing ways you did not see coming in a million years.

Not long ago I wrote about how I have to get through a situation to get over it.

I had pull away from a situation with a friend who had stepped outside of reality for a bit.

Not that I blamed them, I just couldn’t follow their anguish and destruction down that particular rabbit hole.

I stepped away.

It seems like that was ages ago.

So many things have happened in life but I never forgot the core of that person and how good they could be. I couldn’t forget how much fun we have and how we enjoy each other’s company.

Then randomly I got an email that moved me to my core.

I knew deep down in my soul that I could no longer stay away.

I had to know if they too had been able to get through and over the hurdles of their own demons.

I called and ended up on the phone talking for an hour.

Then I got another email this morning that surprised me regarding possible employment. A friend that my friend felt I would really bond with who needed someone like me.

I received a phone call and instantly adored the lovely lady I talked too.

Bonus is I have an interview which is more like a formality due to our shared passion of helping others.

Proceeding on with my day in a better than average mood I went to my eye appointment.

I don’t think I have ever had so much fun and girl bonding at a “doctor’s appointment’!

It seems my vision has deteriorated a bit but I can still get the contacts I want but had to get new glasses due to the vision issues.

They are so cool and I can’t wait! I will be so happy to see clearly again and will definitely put up a photo or two!

My life is coming into sharper focus and now I will be able to actually see sharper and better!

After several hours I finally left and went to watch the boy do his karate thing. Since he is with his father, I went and had dinner with an old friend.

It ended up being one of those dinners that is a conversation that just keeps going. You don’t want it to end because you can’t believe that you found each other again, especially after the trauma of the past, and here you are together because you were both able to move through and past. Filling each other in on what we missed in each other’s lives and sharing those inside jokes you thought had been buried in the trunk in the attic are the stuff happiness is made of.

I got to ride in a convertible, and oh what a fabulous ride it was, with the top down, wind in my hair and just that feeling of freedom! The joy of the open road, no words needed because you’re on the same page and you can feel the universe smile.

So I have to say it was a good day.

I hope your day is fabulous too!

Here’s hoping for a fabulous week my friends!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

What was I thinking?!


I am wondering when I decided to try and become Martha freaking Stewart/ June Cleaver/Carol Brady – ISH?!

oldies mom

When I decided I was going to try to be so “together” and make all of these fabulous plans, cook these fabulous meals and do all of this adult stuff with “style”. What the hell am I thinking?!

I AM FABULOUSLY GRACELESS!

crazy beach me

I try to try but as my good friend says, and I concur, “That totally smacks of effort!”

I am just a “normal” (ok maybe not normal normal but somewhere maybe within 1000 miles of there) female, mother, daughter, sister, friend, human who works daily, often times moment to moment to get through this thing we call life.

Sometime after I had my boy, at the ripe “advanced maternal age” – a term I am willing to throat punch over – of 39, it was like I caught a virus of how I needed to handle moving onward with my life now that I had someone I was also responsible for and sending out into the world.

I wanted to make sure my boy’s life experience was as fun and educational, obviously filled with love which is perhaps the easiest part and no brainer, as possible.

I have OCD and accept it. I work to make it more balancing than having it control me. I try to always have “a plan”.

The first year of parenthood was awe inspiring and also something out of one of the seventh rings of hell.

My routines, logic and plans were quickly tossed out the side window in order to make room for this creature who had captured my soul the minute I found out I was pregnant but who had tossed the my existence into some crazed notion of a life I had no idea how to navigate through at times.

I think it’s fair to say every first time parent has pre-conceived notions of how they will raise their children, handles situations and how life will flow along.

I think it’s also fair to say many times that idea is full of a big old diaper of the worst poo imaginable.

cartoon multi mom

I guess I have always done my marching to some random garbled beat in my own mind.

I have my oddities and own side effects, some I am working on and others I chose to keep because they are just the core of who I am.

To say my life has not gone “as planned” is a gross understatement of massive proportions.

Not to say I don’t love my life. I truly do.

That’s the crazy part.

I saw life before and after having a kid as one way.

I learned before I even had him, life did not always go as planned. Sometimes it went very poorly and how you chose to handle it makes all the difference in the world. So I would modify my flow.

After the boy came bouncing into My world, everything I knew turned upside down. From my hospital stay, to the first years, to the “un-coupling” of his dad and myself, Life freaking Changed.

This did not, however, change the file in my brain that I needed to strive to be more like the mythical TV, movie and reality moms. You know the ones that have it all?

not me cartoon mom w balance

Still having themselves, the job, the kid, the organized house and schedules with all the fluff.

And I just snorted laughing at reading that sentence because no matter how much that particular file in my brain wants and strives to be “that perfect” I Know it won’t ever happen!!

I am very okay with that!

I went from the free-spirit, flexible, OCD, semi-organized life to one where I am responsible for another human and my schedule and plans are somewhat regimented.

I am still a free-spirit and still flexible. I’ve had to work hard on my OCD and organized is all relative in how one’s perspective is!

Still the BEST part is The Boy.

b coraline

I’ve had a lot of “accomplishments” and proud moments in my life, but having my son is the absolute, hands down, most fabulously amazing creation and contribution to this planet I could have ever even hoped to offer.

So yeah, I may look a hot mess, I may not have everything as organized in my home as it “should be”, but I can guarantee my boy is happy and well-adjusted and learning to roll with the punches and accept folk for who they are. He is learning the meaning and value of doing as you say and how to treat others. He is learning while he is the top of my world, in life everyone matters and deserves respect.

He is most definitely loved by many. My love for him and the miracle that he is cannot even be articulated well because it is too vast and made up of things I didn’t know existed before him.

As for me, well I am not completely giving up the ghost of Martha, June, Carol and the other mamas, but for now, I am me.

me in beatles shirt

I will take a line or page or two from them when I can but in the end, I have to say, I think I am doing alright!

I hope that you are doing alright too!

Have a Fabulous Wednesday from the Queen of Gracelessness!

The beach is in my soul


At the time this article goes out I will have officially been gone from the beach for at least nearly 20 hours… almost a full day.

I will have woke with my last view of the beach for a while.

Of course I will photograph it but often I don’t need the visual reminders. Not of this place.

I always walk out onto the balcony, look around and then close my eyes and breathe it all in.

balcony view

The sights, the smell, the endless ocean with all of its vast adventures.

The Life.

I can be anywhere, any room, any situation and just Stop.

I can smell it. The salt and sand and tropical smells.

I can feel it. The breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico caressing my skin. Rain or shine it feels so different, so alive.

I can see it in my mind. I can close my eyes and see all hours of the day or night here.

For all of my existence I have come to this place.

feet beach

This body of water.

The beaches along the Gulf Coast have helped shape who I am as a human being.

As I am sure they have shaped thousands before, even now and after I am gone.

I’ve seen the sun rise, mid-day and setting sun. I have sat on the beach from dawn til dusk and dusk til dawn.

I have slept on the beach.

I have played in this ocean and learned of the creatures that live here and respect them. Even if I am not fond of some of them this is their home. Their space.

I have walked these shores with the ones I love and those that are no longer here with me to walk in the surf or sit in the sand and stare out at the beauty.

But here I feel so close to them.

I feel close to all of those I love and care for.

I love sharing this Oneness of everything with my boy.

beach crab catchin

My amazing miracle that constantly blows my mind and fills me with love.

He reminds me of this place.

We came from this place.

The place where I am close to everything, call it God, the Universe, all of those things we cannot articulate into words but its right there.

It is where I can and do find my soul. I nourish it.

I find it and I replenish my being.

And I can come anytime I want.

I just have to remember the way.

This time, I know that I have found it.

I will not forget it.

Life is too precious to let myself forget this and how to mend my soul.

pier balcony view

 

Storms


I love storms!

I always have loved to watch storms.

Even the scary ones.

I remember being about 4 years old and we heard on the radio there were tornado warnings in the area.

Suddenly the sky went black and the sirens went off. The power flickered and then went off.

Our family hustled to the basement to wait out the storm with a battery powered radio.

However my grandmamma loved storms too.

She felt this was the perfect time to teach me about storms and her love of nature.

So she grabbed my hand and up the stairs we went.

When she opened the front door I remember feeling the change in the pressure and the feeling of being scared but excited.

I trusted my grandmamma with all of my heart and knew she would never do anything to put me in harm’s way.

She asked me to smell the air and watch the tree tops.

We watched the swirling clouds as they built up speed and strength.

And then the coolest, most terrifying thing happened.

A tornado touched down right up the street.

I remember looking up at her with anxiety on my face.

She had the most serene expression on her face. Her body was calm, not tense.

She looked over at me and smiled.

I will never forget her words, “Storms are one of the most beautiful displays of chaos in nature. God gives us storms so we remember to appreciate the beautiful things in our lives. But if we watch them, we see storms have an intense beauty all their own. We must respect them, and even fear them a bit, but know if you take precautions you can be safe and sheltered from the storms. Never believe you are completely safe though because no one but God knows what that storm will do.”

How right she was.

To this day over 40 years later I love to watch storms.

 storms2

I treat them with the respect they deserve but still get a thrill out of watching them.

However, driving in them not so much!

Storms come in and cleanse the land.

Hurricanes and tornados can reshape the landscape.

storms1

Yes they can do unspeakable damage and destroy homes, businesses and even lives.

But they are a part of the very fabric of our existence.

The storms of life we have all suffered through.

Hopefully to come through it better than we were before.

Cleansed.

Respectful.

No matter rain nor shine I hope you all have a Fabulous Day My Friends!

Stay Graceless!

 

A day of rest


 day of rest

Growing up I was taught Sunday is a day of rest.

Growing up in the south, Sunday was reserved for church and family.

Friends would come by for a big lunch or maybe an afternoon visit, but we were pretty low key on our Sunday’s.

I remember every spring our church would give us kites in the spring.

We always looked forward to this day because we would get to fly our kites after lunch.

It was a Sunday where my brother and I were guaranteed the adults would “play” with us outside because it was a yearly tradition.

Now days Sundays are “just another day” for so many.

I remember when there weren’t any businesses opened on Sundays. Maybe a grocery store or two and of course restaurants.

When the mall decided to open on Sundays it was not until 1:00 PM and at the time several people were outraged that you could shop on Sundays.

In the Bible belt, Sundays were for church.

You went to church, came home had a big lunch, maybe a nap and then went back to church that evening. Sometimes you spent all day at church.

For me personally, I still try to make it a day of rest.

Sometimes I take the boy to church and then we have lunch together.

I always try to find fun things for us to do together.

Anything from fishing, drawing to even watching a movie together – time just together bonding. Just spending time being.

So many people seem to forget this basic human need.

minion day of rest

You don’t have to spend money and do all of these adventurous things to bond and just be together.

You just need to truly enjoy spending time with another human being. Quality time together.

This life is too short and relationships are so precious.

Why not take one day each week to truly enjoy this life?

Whether with others or yourself.

Take a little time off to recharge or just rest up before the week starts up and the chaos begins again.

I hope you all have a happy, fabulous Sunday!

day of rest 2

 

Hiding Out


 kid behind tree

I see you there.

Hiding out.

Hiding from me.

From everyone.

Right out in plain sight you stand.

Trying so hard to pretend you aren’t there.

Trying to pretend that your illness doesn’t exist.

Doesn’t show.

You talk and act as though nothing is wrong.

You’re the life of the party.

The one who’s always “helping” out.

Your stories are filled with all You do and Your life.

How You are Always the one “everyone” turns to.

Your adventures.

It’s always about you.

Yet you hide out when things get tough.

You hide from the confrontation.

You hide from the truth of what has taken over you.

You hide.

kitty hiding

You think that I do not see but I do.

You can keep on hiding out.

I will keep on knowing.

Because I promise you.

You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.

I just hope you will get the help you need.

I hope you will find the way to your happiness.

Hiding out is no way to exist.

So just try to make an effort to find your way back to health.

Find your way back to happiness.

Find your way back to you.

stop hiding