We are all dying – Sylvia Plath

 As I get older, and lordy does it pain me to even go there, I realize how I am expected to respond to things that happen to my body.

It’s not like I am playing dodge cars in the afternoon traffic or anything. No, it’s “just the aging process” and apparently some areas age faster than others.

For me it’s internal things, for the most part, that have the most failings.

People perceive me as “having it together” which sends me into gales of hysterical laughter because I am the Atlantic ocean away from “having it together” but by golly I am trying! Keep Hope Alive!

I love how social media shares those little gems of things you posted.

4 years ago I wrote:  “Nothing like falling with “style”, as we all know this gracelessness is out for me!

Picture it… Me landing like a ninja IN PUBLIC with witnesses that eventually ask “Are you ok mam? I thought you were kneeling down”

Really?! Mam?! On a sidewalk, in a dress, holding a child and a diaper bag and you think I am kneeling? What is wrong with you and Why did you have to see that?!” These are the days of my life.  

Watching a bare minimum of TV through the years even I caught the “fight the aging battle” & “never grow old gracefully” slogans aimed towards women of which I am now in that age group. I was a faithful follower of Oil Of Olay for many years then I began trying different products.

The skin is the largest organ on our bodies so I have generally worked to take care of it with lotions and creams to keep it moisturized. What can I say, I can be a weirdo about it. It rubs the lotion on its skin… yeah weirdo!

I also did that whole “wash that grey right outta my hair” at an early age due to premature greying. Plus I loved the purples and deep magenta colors along with classic black.

I obviously don’t try to pretend it’s au natural either! Let’s be real, it’s not a color you see in nature, as in no human is born with that color hair! After I hit about 35ish I decided I needed to stop with the purples/burgundies and magentas and go with dark brown/black because it really does look “more natural”. However, I have gotten the color bug on occasion over the years and do a deep burgundy because it’s fun and why not?! It’s hair! If it’s bad I can just throw another dark color on it and it tones down the “not natural” but definitely fun look. No harm no foul. I mean at least my pants aren’t hanging around my ankles! Sorry that seriously bothers me and if the boy decides it cool, it will most likely be a weggie with belt combo he sports for a few days until he relearns how to pull up his pants! I will probably allow him to color his hair though depending on school dress code though. Gah, that made me feel old!

I also “try” to exercise… well actually exercise is how you define the word. I define it as doing a whole lot of cleaning, cooking, moving about the house as well as running after children. I should get something for that I think. I don’t join gyms, bad experiences with gyms and strange people, and I do the random exercises at times when I feel like things aren’t working properly with the body. I do use the boy to do leg lift squat things with him as superman monkey… that really does not translate well to written word at all! I lay on my back, he lays across my shins and I hold his arms and basically lift him up 20 times a few times a week. The monkey part was added when he crossed it with Donkey Kong in his verbiage due to the extra movement he added. Trust me it is a work out! Plus there is laughter and my long forgotten stomach muscles a sore in that good kind of way where they haven’t been used in years. I’m looking forward to more outings involving walking and such as he is finally at an age where walking distances are easier for him. Plus my spine cannot carry that child long distances anymore! My baby’s getting to be to be carried and it’s probably a good thing because I am not ready for spine replacement just yet!

I guess the best thing I do for myself is stay in contact and spend time and space with those people who charge me up. Those people that inspire me and make me want to do more, be more. Those that help me keep going even when I don’t want to. Obviously the boy is a given, but there are so many humans that help me in both large and small ways that keep me going and fill me with happiness, hope and love. Some are close and some are far, but all of them have a special place in me that can’t always be articulated but is filled with all things needed to help fuel me – mind, body and soul.

So while we all may be dying, I am choosing to age and die my way… Fabulous Graceless!