FabulousGracelessness – 11 months and counting


For the last 11 months I have been writing this blog daily.

It is my personal challenge to write daily for a year. I have made it 11 months and as of today, I have plans to keep writing through daily until May 20, 2016.

I wonder what I will do once I reach that year milestone.

I know I can’t stop writing. I also wonder if I can keep it up daily! I had no idea how hard it would be.

There is so much I have to do that I didn’t have when I started writing FabulousGracelessness.

Yet I am unsure of what I will do as far as on a daily basis.

I love writing so very much. I love pouring my soul into my blog; however I also love pouring my soul into life!

I guess whatever path I chose I know that I will not stop writing.

It’s in me to put my thoughts out there. They can no longer be contained! I’m not so sure it’s best for everyone but I know that it works for me. Plus, www.fabulousgracelessness.com just auto-renewed for another year so why not?!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

I love my rocks


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Oh how much joy I get from a “rock”!

Rocks, quartz, crystals I get excited!

I am aware I am a bit of a nerd and I am okay with that.

I realized this has passed to the boy and it is something beautiful to behold to me.

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I have a rule of no sticks in the house. Unless it is something truly special, do not bring a stick up in my house! Swords, canes, staff and walking sticks: these are fine.

Bring a cool looking rock, quartz or crystal and I’m all “well bring it in and let’s look at it!” Pure amusement and delight for hours.

Recently we were gifted with a beautiful Crystal, the boy’s says it’s The Crystal. I had not even pulled it out of the wrapping he exclaims, “ohmygosh mommy it’s The Crystal!!!” He had zero idea I even had it or that it had been given to us. He just knew.

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It’s like the rock calls to us. You can feel the buzz when it touches your hand.

You can feel the oneness with the earth so solid and tangible that you can just feel the connections.

I know I am a freak but I am not alone. There are others like me including my own offspring who share the same love as I do. I am not alone!

Keep hope alive!

 

 

 

 

I watched it rise and I watched it crumble


I watched it begin to crumble.

A few years ago I noted the bricks that had fallen from your structure.

After my relentless questions, I under stood that you were under fire. I also knew you would protect yourself and do all you could to fortify your stronghold.

Caring for each other always came naturally as did sharing those things that hurt us to the core.

We talked of ways to reinforce, to rebuilt and make it better.

Each year I noted the decay.

We openly talked about renovations and solutions.

We always had hope.

Last year I saw the cracks in the foundation. I knew the writing was on the proverbial wall.

We talked, we screamed, we cried, we prayed.

Sometimes even the oldest and the strongest of the structures must be torn down.

We can’t keep making repairs when no one helps with the leaks.

We have to know when it’s time to rebuild on our own.

We have to know we will stand by each other.

Brick by brick.

 

Sticky Sweet, right


Pour some sugar on me

Ohh in name of love

Pour some sugar on me

C’mon fire me up

Pour your sugar on me

                                                    Ooh I can’t get enough

I’m hot, sticky sweet

From my head to my feet, yeah

 

The weather is changing here in sweet home Alabama. It’s so true that in a week you can wear a heavy coat one day, maybe a light jacket the next followed up by the hot, sticky mugginess.

It has begun.

The official it’s going to be hot, sticky and chances of muggy have finally hit the southland. I am sure that we will have “cooler” days where you don’t feel the need to cut the humidity with a knife but we will have them.

They also seem to be quiet sticky. And not like pancakes and syrup sticky or even candy stickiness. Not touching anything else there! But the stickiness prevails! Hence the Def Leppard song in my head!

Welcome to the twisted mind of Fabulous Gracelessness.

Come right on in!

Keep Hope Alive!

And bring a fan if you’re visiting. You just may need it!

 

 

Go with the flow and seize the day!


Go with the flow!

Seize the day, the moment… the very seconds for that’s all we have.

We aren’t promised tomorrow.

People leave when you are least expecting it even when it’s expected. Relationships have become so disposable that when some people meet others, they feel that if the person doesn’t work out – friend, lover, spouse – they can just leave and move on.

I’m not wired that way.

I understand people change. We all do.

Sometimes people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time to teach you things. Sometimes you wonder what those things are and you may not always know right away. Sometimes you may never find out.

I do know that you just need to enjoy this life we’ve been given and go with the flow.

Keep hope alive!

 

Reality of dreams and keeping hope alive


It has been a heck of a week and we finally made it to Friday!

It seems like there is so many things to do and try to finish before the end of the day.

It feels overwhelming at times when you want to make sure all of your responsibilities are taken care of and all you want to do is just chill.

I try to relax and just go with the flow.

I really do.

Right now so many wonderful things are happening in my life.

Some days it feels like a dream because I am experiencing dreams coming to life. It is exciting, terrifying and exhausting!

It is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had before.

Things are happening, not as I thought they would happen or ever even had a prayer of going the direction of how it I saw it going but it’s flowing as how should happen… and it feels so “right” deep down I can’t fathom it sometimes.

Along the way of keeping it going, I have to sacrifice as well, as I knew I would because realities of dreams are realities. They aren’t the dreams of the lotto win and immediate release of responsibilities & all the troubles magically go away kind. I’m me I can’t have it like that!

Plus working for it, pushing myself, my boundaries, my very core is making the euphoria of seeing dreams come to fruition, even when it doesn’t seem to happen fast enough, is worth is all. If it came any faster I may pass out trying to get all my preparations done by some deadline.

That’s the beautiful thing about dreams that become a reality. You are allowed to let it happen on your time.

Life moves pretty fast, you have to choose at what pace you want to be in the game.

Keep hope alive!

 

 

My life, plans and oh yes, adulting is not for me


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Sometimes it is so hard to believe where I am in my life.

When you’re young you see life going a certain way. Even then I knew that life happened and I that things did not always go as plans.

I surely didn’t expect my life to be the way it is now, however although there are things I am working on improving and changing, I like where I am.

I was always one for taking the road less traveled so to speak. I seemed to think if I was told to not do it, I would do it. I still do to some degree, depending on what the situation is.

It’s hard being an adult.

Adulting is not what I thought it would be.

Sometimes it is great and other times it totally sucks.

Finding that balance is what I strive for every day.

Right now I am finding myself in new places experiencing things I didn’t think possible.

Dreams coming true in ways right out of left field.

So many responsibilities yet so much joy. Trying to find that fine line is a dance I am loving doing.

It’s all worth it.

No matter how it turns out, I know that I tried my best.

I love my life no matter how my plans turned left.

As always I keep hope alive

!

 

 

 

So I lost it on my kid…


It finally happened… I lost it on the boy. And by lost it, I don’t mean I went all off screaming, hollering and beating the child, although it crossed my mind in a fit of hysterical laughter.

Yes, I lost it through hysterically laughing for at least 10 minutes.

With my kid doing the airplane thing on my legs and then sniffing me. As in like a dog sniffing me. Or one of those wild children you hear about raised by wolves with the slight crazed look in their eyes.

I thought of the Chucky doll.

I told him to “Stop it please” but by then I was already falling into the “I’m totally losing it with my kid and I have no urge to harm so this is probably good” vibe.

Pshaw all of y’all thinking I beat my kid and wrote a blog about it!

Then again, there are some serious nut bags out there. I mean I am crazy but I would never purposefully harm my child.

He is my everything but, I really get the whole, “I brought you in and I will take you out” mentality. I understand why some creatures eat their young. I really, truly do.

It isn’t those embarrassing in public moments necessarily either, although that does happen. It’s more like the 10th time you’ve told said offspring to do something and they either suddenly became deaf or all together leave the situation because apparently if I can’t see him, he isn’t there to get in trouble. The logic is perfectly fine for a 5 year old. In fact, 5 year old logic can make more sense at times than adults. Those are the moments I question my sanity.

So here I am laying on my bed laughing so hard I nearly spritz. My kid is on top of me and laughing so hard he is drooling on me, I’m getting grossed out but can’t move him because I am paralyzed with laughter. It really hurt.

I was torn.

I was laughing harder than I had in a while and I was also at my wits end because he won’t listen.

This is what they refer to as parenting hell. At least one form of it.

I was finally able to regain my composure and somewhat actually parent the boy. It’s hard to give a straight face when your face hurts from laughing so hard.

The good thing is that he knows he can always laugh with me and he loves making me laugh.

He knows he had better start listening or mommy may really loose it!

He also knows that I love him no matter what.

I think that is what this parenting thing is all about.

Keep hope alive!

 

Like the waves, Tuesday crashes in


It seems like Tuesday is just crashing in behind Monday. The waves non-stop. Forget calm waters it seems it’s like a storm.

Must be time for the storms of life to do another cleansing. I do love a good cleansing.

Cleansings are good for the soul.

Maybe that’s what I need right now.

I know I am not alone in that need. Life moves so fast that I am often surprised when what I have been needing or searching for actually appears. I am so fortunate to realize the moments and recognize that this is the moment that I was looking for, the one my soul craved.

It’s funny how when you are working to make things better and you get all up into looking for it sometimes you don’t see it beginning because you are so into looking.

Maybe, just maybe, it just happens and you need to slow down and enjoy life. When you least expect it to, it happens.

Meanwhile, the waves crash into the next day just like they did yesterday. Maybe I can catch just one.

No sleep with children


My side of the bed was invaded by another human 5 years ago. That would be when I gave birth to the boy.

It doesn’t seem to matter that he has his own room, complete with his very own bed, somehow it seems he always ends up in mine. On my side no less! The nerve! I had no idea what all I was giving up when I became a parent. I knew a lot of things, or so I thought. I did not realize that giving a part of my side of the bed was part of the deal!

Before the boy came into my life one of the luxuries I enjoyed was sleeping. Like any time I wanted and for as long as I wanted provided I didn’t have to work… so I could pay for my overhead and sleep! I never knew how much I loved sleeping. Adored it actually until it was somewhat taken from me.

What they didn’t teach in parenting class was after you have a child you don’t ever sleep the same.

Whether they are with you or not, you still don’t sleep right. If they aren’t with you then you worry about them and when they are with you chances are good you aren’t sleeping because the offspring has decided to slip into your bed.

Your space.

Only it is no longer your space because when you became a parent, a tiny tidbit left out of everything you could have possibly read, you lose a part of yourself and the creature that you gave birth to is the one that took that.

Look at that sweet face! How could you not want to give it your all?

I say, give them everything but my sleep space.

And the time I need to sleep. Yes I said need versus want because I am willing to compromise.

Before the boy I would never compromise on my sleep. I was quite bitchy about it at times.

I am guessing this is my karma!

Oh sweet sleep if I could only have you when I need you! But alas, I jumped on the parenting train and I am certain it will be a while before we can join up again. For now I will take what I can get here and there and I will be grateful for it.

I seriously have got to get this kid out of my bed again!

*note that “No sleep til Brooklyn” by the Beastie Boys was playing in my head as “No sleep with children”!

*for those of you who have managed parenthood without sleep interruption and deprivation, I salute you!