Author: gracelessnessover40

Writing my blog and what I am thinking… I need to not filter myself

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

I write how I feel and what I am thinking.

I write goofy poems, rhymes and sometimes nonsense.

I write stories and thoughts from other’s lives and things they’ve shared with me or that I have observed.

Often my words have been taken out of context.

Some have tried to use my own words against me.

Some have contacted me and thanked me for sharing as it reflected their own life.

I have received calls, texts and emails asking if I am okay. I can promise you, if it is here, I have most likely processed it and I am doing just fine…probably. Sometimes I allow myself to write raw. That can be dangerous as I just “let it go” and spew onto the paper. Sometimes I keep those and don’t let anyone see it. Sometimes it’s better that way.

When I chose to start a blog, I just did it. I had been told I couldn’t do it or I couldn’t commit to it for even a month. Most of those people aren’t around me anymore. The others I guess are eating their words.

I didn’t know how easy it was but also it is harder too. It’s like a double edge sword.

I still feel somewhat censored but I am working on that. Sometimes saying how you feel is a good thing. Other times even though it is cathartic for me, I may not sound so nice to others. That I even care is impressive to me.

I have always been the one marching to her own beat and being a bit of a rebel.

My blog is MY BLOG. Yet I find myself filtering myself. How ironic is that?

I am seeing what I really need to work on through my writing.

In writing, I find myself again.

 

Happy Birthday Mama!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Happy birthday to my beautiful, amazing mama!

The world is a little brighter, a little better and a lot more awesome because of you!

You have loved me, tolerated and put up with my maos for 45 years and you still look barely 50! That’s good looks right there!

The lady that can and does, run circles around me and her grandsons! She’s athletic, graceful and the best dancer!

She is an amazing wife, mother, grandmother, family and friend.

I truly and blessed to have her as mine.

I often say my brother is her favorite and I am second or third if my “sister” is here. I say it jokingly and with love.

It is hard between mothers and daughters. I completely understand that more so now that I have a son of my own. But I am so grateful for all that she taught me about being a mama and loving your child no matter what.

I am thankful she is in my life and loves me, no matter what. I know it’s not easy!

Happy Birthday Mama!

Happy Earth Day to you all!

Keep Hope Alive!

*I don’t post mama’s photo because she is too beautiful to see and because that may be the very thing I send her over the edge with, but take my word she is a beautiful lady inside and out!*

 

 

The leftovers

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I don’t go out to eat too often. Well, let me amend that. I don’t go out to fancy restaurants often!

Usually when I go out, unless it’s some overpriced trendy place that serves micro portions, I end up with a leftover box/doggy bag.

Throughout the years I have left my leftovers at the table in the restaurant, made it inside with it but never ate it, left it in the fridge for day and left it in the car overnight among other things. However, recently food was left in my car for 3 days! We thought we had left it at the restaurant plus there were children involved…anything is understandable with kids!

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But one has to wonder why did I not smell it?! I wondered the same thing until I realized how awesome those to-go containers are they have these days in nicer restaurants! Also, I did NOT open said container. A bloomin’ onion from Outback had been in there for days. Temperatures had risen to above 80 so that means it was hotter in the jeep for several days. Nope, not even gonna torture myself with that one!

So that leftover went into the trash.

Sadly it had been wanted the night we had purchased it and thought it had been left behind in the madness.

Anyone else do this?!

I know I am not the only one!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

FabulousGracelessness – 11 months and counting

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For the last 11 months I have been writing this blog daily.

It is my personal challenge to write daily for a year. I have made it 11 months and as of today, I have plans to keep writing through daily until May 20, 2016.

I wonder what I will do once I reach that year milestone.

I know I can’t stop writing. I also wonder if I can keep it up daily! I had no idea how hard it would be.

There is so much I have to do that I didn’t have when I started writing FabulousGracelessness.

Yet I am unsure of what I will do as far as on a daily basis.

I love writing so very much. I love pouring my soul into my blog; however I also love pouring my soul into life!

I guess whatever path I chose I know that I will not stop writing.

It’s in me to put my thoughts out there. They can no longer be contained! I’m not so sure it’s best for everyone but I know that it works for me. Plus, www.fabulousgracelessness.com just auto-renewed for another year so why not?!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

I love my rocks

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Oh how much joy I get from a “rock”!

Rocks, quartz, crystals I get excited!

I am aware I am a bit of a nerd and I am okay with that.

I realized this has passed to the boy and it is something beautiful to behold to me.

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I have a rule of no sticks in the house. Unless it is something truly special, do not bring a stick up in my house! Swords, canes, staff and walking sticks: these are fine.

Bring a cool looking rock, quartz or crystal and I’m all “well bring it in and let’s look at it!” Pure amusement and delight for hours.

Recently we were gifted with a beautiful Crystal, the boy’s says it’s The Crystal. I had not even pulled it out of the wrapping he exclaims, “ohmygosh mommy it’s The Crystal!!!” He had zero idea I even had it or that it had been given to us. He just knew.

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It’s like the rock calls to us. You can feel the buzz when it touches your hand.

You can feel the oneness with the earth so solid and tangible that you can just feel the connections.

I know I am a freak but I am not alone. There are others like me including my own offspring who share the same love as I do. I am not alone!

Keep hope alive!

 

 

 

 

I watched it rise and I watched it crumble

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I watched it begin to crumble.

A few years ago I noted the bricks that had fallen from your structure.

After my relentless questions, I under stood that you were under fire. I also knew you would protect yourself and do all you could to fortify your stronghold.

Caring for each other always came naturally as did sharing those things that hurt us to the core.

We talked of ways to reinforce, to rebuilt and make it better.

Each year I noted the decay.

We openly talked about renovations and solutions.

We always had hope.

Last year I saw the cracks in the foundation. I knew the writing was on the proverbial wall.

We talked, we screamed, we cried, we prayed.

Sometimes even the oldest and the strongest of the structures must be torn down.

We can’t keep making repairs when no one helps with the leaks.

We have to know when it’s time to rebuild on our own.

We have to know we will stand by each other.

Brick by brick.

 

Sticky Sweet, right

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Pour some sugar on me

Ohh in name of love

Pour some sugar on me

C’mon fire me up

Pour your sugar on me

                                                    Ooh I can’t get enough

I’m hot, sticky sweet

From my head to my feet, yeah

 

The weather is changing here in sweet home Alabama. It’s so true that in a week you can wear a heavy coat one day, maybe a light jacket the next followed up by the hot, sticky mugginess.

It has begun.

The official it’s going to be hot, sticky and chances of muggy have finally hit the southland. I am sure that we will have “cooler” days where you don’t feel the need to cut the humidity with a knife but we will have them.

They also seem to be quiet sticky. And not like pancakes and syrup sticky or even candy stickiness. Not touching anything else there! But the stickiness prevails! Hence the Def Leppard song in my head!

Welcome to the twisted mind of Fabulous Gracelessness.

Come right on in!

Keep Hope Alive!

And bring a fan if you’re visiting. You just may need it!

 

 

Go with the flow and seize the day!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

Go with the flow!

Seize the day, the moment… the very seconds for that’s all we have.

We aren’t promised tomorrow.

People leave when you are least expecting it even when it’s expected. Relationships have become so disposable that when some people meet others, they feel that if the person doesn’t work out – friend, lover, spouse – they can just leave and move on.

I’m not wired that way.

I understand people change. We all do.

Sometimes people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time to teach you things. Sometimes you wonder what those things are and you may not always know right away. Sometimes you may never find out.

I do know that you just need to enjoy this life we’ve been given and go with the flow.

Keep hope alive!

 

Reality of dreams and keeping hope alive

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It has been a heck of a week and we finally made it to Friday!

It seems like there is so many things to do and try to finish before the end of the day.

It feels overwhelming at times when you want to make sure all of your responsibilities are taken care of and all you want to do is just chill.

I try to relax and just go with the flow.

I really do.

Right now so many wonderful things are happening in my life.

Some days it feels like a dream because I am experiencing dreams coming to life. It is exciting, terrifying and exhausting!

It is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had before.

Things are happening, not as I thought they would happen or ever even had a prayer of going the direction of how it I saw it going but it’s flowing as how should happen… and it feels so “right” deep down I can’t fathom it sometimes.

Along the way of keeping it going, I have to sacrifice as well, as I knew I would because realities of dreams are realities. They aren’t the dreams of the lotto win and immediate release of responsibilities & all the troubles magically go away kind. I’m me I can’t have it like that!

Plus working for it, pushing myself, my boundaries, my very core is making the euphoria of seeing dreams come to fruition, even when it doesn’t seem to happen fast enough, is worth is all. If it came any faster I may pass out trying to get all my preparations done by some deadline.

That’s the beautiful thing about dreams that become a reality. You are allowed to let it happen on your time.

Life moves pretty fast, you have to choose at what pace you want to be in the game.

Keep hope alive!