We are all superheroes


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Today is superhero day at the boy’s school. He is under the impression that I need to dress up as well. Even though, in his mind, I am a superhero every day. Today I am supposed to “show the world” my superhero self.

I keep telling him no one wants to see mommy in costume but he disagrees. It isn’t that I don’t like to dress up, but wearing a costume to work when it isn’t Halloween won’t go over too well. I am sure my boss would be amused, but some of my client’s not so much.

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I love that my son thinks I am a superhero. He says I am his own personal superhero.

He truly believes when I go and help “take care of people” that I am being a superhero. I told him I am still just his mommy and trying to help others as much as I can.

I told him I mess up, I make mistakes and sometimes I let people down. He knows I am not perfect. He has seen me mess up, lose my cool and fall apart. He loves me unconditionally as I love him. It amazes me that he always wants to be with me even when I get onto him when he does wrong. He informed me it’s because I tell him when he is wrong and I also tell him I love him no matter what. He can grasp the importance of messing up, learning from his mistakes and having those who love you still love you even when you mess up.

He looked at me with his sweet, innocent face and said, “Mommy, you are human. You tell me no one is perfect. Even you. But I think you are perfect for me.” He is so right. No one is perfect. But on those amazingly rare occasions, we are perfect for each other.

That it took a 5 year old to remind me of something so profound and true tells me I must be doing something right.

So today, find your inner superhero! And recognize those who are everyday superheroes. You never know who it may be.

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Keep hope alive for a fabulous day!

I woke up alive and realized I needed to live the moments


I rolled out of bed groaning and stumbled to the bathroom to start the getting ready process. Shortly after, I cheerily woke up the boy from his angelic looking sleep and watched him stumble his way to the bathroom and then get himself dressed.

I was putting on the last of my war paint when the text came through that one of our good caregivers was out sick and I needed to fill the shift. I doubled my speed for getting out of the house, changed into scrubs and we left for the day.

My clients were way across town, out in the country. I somewhat know their routine and knew they would be getting hungry and breakfast is part of their routine.

I arrived only a few minutes later than their normal caregiver, “T”, but they remembered me and were happy to have someone there to “assist” them for the day. Mr. K met me at the door with a smile and Miss P was still in the bed. One glance around told me that they had been pretty much alone all weekend, as “T” and I worked together to help make them a schedule and keep things consistent for them. We have a system for them to follow and have shared it with their children. Their family is involved in their care but they have lives and families to raise too, so we are there to help mom and dad.

It isn’t that mom and dad, or P & K, are all that up in years, they are both 70 with her just having a birthday. Their bodies are healthy for the most part and they love to talk, laugh and enjoy life. They no longer go as much as they use to because they are both in different stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia. They are like thousands of others in the Boomer generation that are still “young at heart” and in need of care due to a terminal diagnosis.

Miss P has middle stage Alzheimer’s and needs help bathing, getting dressed and can no longer cook or clean. She talks some, more in the afternoons, but she is so sweet and a joy to be around. She has no problem with me bathing her and “helping” her get pretty for her husband. As long as she knows where he is, and I gently remind her if she gets anxious, she is fine.

Mr. K has early stage dementia. He “runs” the household and “helps” Miss P. She is his world and he talks of “his beautiful pearl” and “young blushing bride” as though it is now. You can see the love they share. He knows her memory is “bad” and that she needs help. He knows he “forgets” things but he has reminders and that is why I am there to help them.

We do our best to communicate anything that goes on to each other so that their weekdays flow consistently, or at least a semblance of it.

To watch her struggle to remember how to remove her clothes and thank me over and over again for being so “nice” to “help” her get bathed and dressed for the day, it breaks my heart. I think back to earlier that morning, was it really just that morning? When I got the text I would be covering for T and my day with them.

To see people so vulnerable in so many ways because by nature they are kind and trusting, but now we add in the memory loss factor and I worry for them. My problems and irritations seem to shrink in light of what they face on a daily basis. Not that I don’t have my own issues and hardships, but that I can get so irritated over something so small at times, or that I got so caught up in something I missed something beautiful. It makes me rethink what I see as important.

I think of how my mind works and how I ponder which thing was more important and then I will jump to another topic. I also will multitask and continue on with the flow of my day. I just know what needs to be done and I do it. I may miss things, but I know it’s on the list for tomorrow even if there is no actual written list. Then I stop. Their lives are no longer like that. They can’t remember things as clearly or even at all in some instances.

That afternoon I drove straight from their home through craptastic traffic to get the boy. I knew we had things to do, I still had to work and there were chores to finish, but I scooped him up and hugged and kissed him immediately. I savored the little boy sweat smell and the way he holds me so tight. I want those memories to always be there. I don’t ever want to lose that part of me. If I forget everything else, I want to remember he chose me to be his mommy.

I woke up alive but after going through the day I realized how alive I needed to be and I am thankful that I was reminded just when I needed it.

Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day!

Sunday love and compassion


Sunday

gm happy sunday

The day of rest

Day of love and one of the best

Spend with loved ones or spend it alone

Go out adventuring or just stay at home

Find the joys in the little things

Eat, dance, laugh and sing

Never forget it’s not all about you

Be compassionate and kind in the things that you do

Never forget the ones no longer here

Those we love whom we miss so deeply and keep their memories dear

The ones who left before their time

Forever in our hearts and always on our mind

So keep your loved ones close in heart even if they are far

Before you find yourself missing them and looking among the stars

This hope I have for all of you to have a happy day

Keep hope alive and be kind to all for that’s the best of ways

do in love sunday

 

Be Yourself


Be yourself

How many times have you heard that said? Be Yourself.

We teach it and preach it to our kids and anyone else that will listen.

Be tolerant of others.

Show compassion.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Yet more and more I see so many adults judging others going against what they “teach” their children and say in front of others.

They tell them to be kind, to share, to not bully.

Yet they do the exact thing they teach against if it goes against their “beliefs” or “way of thinking”.

This is something I think of quite often as the mother of a 4 almost 5 year old son.

I am blessed to have so many friends! I have friends of all ages and walks of life. I have friends from many different ethnic backgrounds, friends who practice different religions and friends who are gay, lesbian, Trans & bi.

Am I supposed to tell him that the ones who don’t look or act like the majority of people he is around are wrong or their life means less than his?

Am I expected to lie and tell him “it’s wrong” when I don’t see it as wrong but much of society does?

I am supposed to “hide” him from those who are different than he is by keeping him sheltered and home all of his young life, so that when he becomes a teenager or young adult he is appalled at the world and mad at me for not letting him know how life truly is?

Am I expected to tell him he can’t “be friends” with another human being because society doesn’t approve?

I Hope that’s not what’s expected of me because I WON’T DO IT.

I will not teach my son that any one person’s life matters over another. That someone is less than him because of their color, their beliefs, their gender or their personal preferences in whom they chose to love.

We hover over our children to protect them yet we do them more harm by tearing down another person for their beliefs and who they are as a human being.

When I tell him to be himself I want him to find who he is.

I don’t want to map his life out.

That isn’t my job as a parent.

My job is to love, nourish, protect, care, guide, teach and help him find out who he is and how to be the person he wants to be.

I know I am still in the some-what “easy” years before he reaches the age of understanding and sees for himself how the world really is, however I can still teach him compassion, caring, acceptance and how to value others.

Unfortunately the world will show him racism, hate, bullying along with a host of other things that scare the crap out of me.

If I do my job right, he will be able to navigate through that minefield and come out a better person.

I have never shared a link in a post before but I was researching some things and came across an article and video of how kids react to Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. #HatchKids

 bhttps://www.yahoo.com/parenting/watch-how-these-kids-react-to-caitlyn-jenner-121190485333.html

 If we are really, really lucky maybe by the time my son grows up, maybe the hate, fear and misunderstandings won’t be as bad.

After all, I always say Keep Hope Alive!

Happy Wednesday My Fabulously Graceless Friends!