Being responsible


Once you get to a certain point in your life you have to take responsibilities for things in your life. You can’t always blame others because something you wanted didn’t work out. You can’t shun your responsibilities because you don’t like someone and they make you “mad”.

When you have a child or children the responsibilities grow. Even if you aren’t the “full time” parent or you are “co-parenting”, you have to communicate so that you are doing what is best for your child/children and not what is best for you. You may not like the other parent, but if they are present in your child’s life you have to make the best of things, suck it up and get along.

I have heard so many stories, and live through my own, of single parenting. It is not easy no matter how hard you try you it seems you will always feel guilt. Recently the boy had seen a preview for one of those Disney on Ice events and wanted to go. I looked into and it is only playing during the time he is with his dad. So I told him to ask them to take him. I feel like he might but he explicitly wants me to go. I can’t exactly explain to my 5-year-old that his dad is not my biggest fan and that I can’t just take him during a time when he is supposed to be with his dad. Instead I advise him to ask his dad or his grandparents and promise him I will find something for us to do. When pressed I remind him his dad and grandparents miss him and wants to spend time with him like I do.

I realize that I am fortunate in that right now my son and I are very close. When his dad and I split up, I realized how hard it was going to be on him to not have both parents “there” all the time. He is my miracle boy and we have a bond that runs deep.

I have been consistent in how I talk to him, work with him and keep some semblance of a schedule for him. I communicate with his dad and grandparents as to what I am doing so that if they so desire, they can do something similar. He knows he has different rules depending on where he is. The fact that he is only 5 is often lost when he comes out with adult insights that most adults can’t see. He has been in situations of loss that most people don’t experience quite so early in life and has come out rather well balanced. I am not being biased as his teachers and doctors have agreed that he is quite amazing and have handled situations with a maturity of a much older child while still maintaining his little boy ways.

Most of all he knows I love him no matter what and that his mommy will always be there for him if I am able. He doesn’t doubt it. He knows he can depend on me. Earlier this year I had major surgery. He does karate one day a week and it’s a day that every other week he is with either myself or his dad. I go to every class. Since he started 9 months ago I have only missed 3 classes and all were due to medical reasons. He knows he can look up week after week and his mommy will be there, whether he’s going home with me or not, supporting him and cheering him on.

When you’re responsible for children, you can’t always act on your emotions. You may not realize how much what you do impacts that child and children can be more insightful than you realize. You may think your little wild child isn’t paying attention to your conversation with your friends, but when he ends up blurting out bits and pieces over the next few weeks at inappropriate times, you realize just how much he listened! He can’t repeat back to you what just came out of your mouth when he’s supposed to be learning yet he can quote verbatim a conversation you had with your friends and had no idea he was listening. It’s freaky. True Story!

I guess I am just trying to say we all have responsibilities on varying levels. I just wish more people would stand up to what they need to do even if it means sucking it up and being “nice” to someone you are quite so fond of for the sake of others. Not just a child. But people that matter to you.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

Accidental texting can be fabulously amusing


accidentally send

You know the feeling… that moment you hit send and you think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that text because Lord only knows how it will sound”?! Yeah, I do that on occasion. More often than I should. Most recently I sent my sister-in-law a text after accidentally calling her in which I texted, “OMG I am so sorry I boob dialed you” complete with the little emoticons laughing with tears. Oh yes I sent that. And now I am sharing it here because that is how I am! I never got a response so I am thinking, am I supposed to pretend it didn’t happen? It still makes me laugh! I just can’t help it!

Of course there are other texts that I send and I question if I sound harsh, rude or cold sounding. Text is pretty bare bones. One would think it’s black and white but of course it can’t be that easy!

I recently learned that when I send long text, imagine me getting a bit wordy, that if you don’t have the same type of phone that I have it comes across in broken text boxes. Example: “d anything down or in since his tot’s cake. I have an indoor/out” new box, “door George foreman never used…” You get the idea. It’s like trying to figure out code! I was oblivious this happened to others when I sent longer texts when one of my friends just called me because she said, “You have no idea what it looked like you were trying to say!” We both had a good laugh but I tucked that information in my mind so that going forward, I will try a little harder to not write a short story when texting.

I am also in the category of accidentally texting the wrong person back on occasion. The great part is usually it’s similar to a conversation I was having with them so it’s fine for a text or two, then by the third and fourth back and forth I realize that I have yet again texted the wrong person! Yes, I have embarrassed myself a time or ten with that one.

dead body text

Technology is great and all but sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming. Accidental texting is just one of many things I have done with my smarter-than-me-phone.

It just goes to show, we are all human and all make mistakes. In my case, it tends to be at the amusement of others for the most part. As for my sister-in-law, she never said a word about the text when I saw her!

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

no text n drive

Power Ranger Mommy


I now have a new name at the boy’s school. Pink Power Ranger Mommy or Power R Mommy for shot. I must say I love it. They come running up to me and hug me and say, “Hey Power R Mommy” or “Yea it’s Pink Power Mommy!” I am thinking that one may be my favorite!

I am always up at the boy’s school, not because he is in trouble, yet! HA I am not jinxing myself but it is inevitable due to his DNA that I will at least get a call for some shenanigans. I could be wrong, that would be fabulous, but I would be more shocked if I didn’t get a call! No, I am the crazy mom who ends up talking to most of the teachers, director, other parents, etc. I work with them on parties, volunteering, events and whatever they need me to do. I have even helped in the front office in a pinch. I truly enjoy most of the kids there and they actually listen to me. More than some adults if I am honest! Maybe that’s why I enjoy going so much! Plus, all those little hugs and kisses. And after a few hours I am so very done! I am happy to take my boy and head home with just one!

He keeps me going always. He is my miracle child. I can’t imagine not being there for him in every way.

I guess this means I should join Pinterest or some other such thing that moms do, but that isn’t me. I am just me being the best mama I can be. Sometimes I am fabulous and other times I screw up royally. But he knows I love him no matter what.

He loves his friends call me the “Pink Power Mommy”. I just love that he’s happy.

Dreams do come true and the universe has a fantastic sense of humor!

Keep Hope Alive and have a Fabulous Day!

 

 

 

And the award goes to…..


I have realized some people are trying so hard to win their very own Grammy.

They are so dramatic and over the top, I am convinced that they think they are going not for the Grammy, but the Oscars. Yes, Big Dreams of Delusion!

Frequently it seems there is something new that they have to tell you about.

From how you need to change something you do because they know how to do it better to how they are superior to you in some way. Or maybe all they did for you and how you owe them because they did something out of “kindness”.

They can charm even the most skeptical for a while into thinking they are ALL that and a bag of chips.

However, over a period of time, you come to see they can’t continue on with their act. Be it manic, alcohol, drugs or just plain crazy they cannot maintain the level of “normalcy” needed to pull off the “act” they are desperately trying to achieve.

These people will tell you, your friends, your family all the things they think they you want to hear. They will promise the moon and stars. Sometimes they even throw in promises of another galaxy to make themselves seem so perfect and worthy of praise.

When they can’t deliver on whatever they’ve promised, they will blame everyone and everything from the pope to tripping over the carpet that was laid 20 years ago. It is Not their fault, they’ve had troubles. They promise the moon this time and somewhat put a band aid on the problems so what happens behind the curtains is not caught on film.

It is at this point when I start watching their performance for what I like to call the “falling apart” part of the plot.

This is when you start noticing the edges of their life seems more frayed that was originally presented. Earlier it was pressed and neat. Everything was “in order” or on its way to being in order. They assure you over and over when you ask them about it. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to see here.

When I read I book, even if it’s awful, I have to read through until the end. Trust me it’s a brutal, self-torture OCD thing I am working to overcome!

Watching these scenes play out is like that.

I know it’s going to end poorly but I can’t help but hold out hope! Hope that this person will see the signs and make different choices.

I won’t read the last pages of a book to find out what happens and it seems in life I tend to hang on to watch the show. Even if you’ve seen the re-runs they try to pass off as new material.

I’ve worked with the mentally ill and with hospice, I have seen some truly weird things, but people who are not “diagnosed” or considered “normal” that act like this fascinate me.

I’ve learned to keep a safe distance so when they flip out, and they will, I hope to not become a casualty of their poor life performance.

I have been caught in the cross hairs and on the fringe and it isn’t pretty.

It can be quite painful if it is someone you truly care about.

But the ones who keep going on and on, the ones you have no choice but to remove yourself from for your own safety, are the ones that scare me a bit more.

Those people keep performing long after the movie is over. They have their own private performance in their minds. Those people can be dangerous.

Those who continue to try and “perfect” their lives by acting outraged someone called them on their B.S. and stood up to them. They call them names and say slanderous things about them. Carrying on and on about how they would never do something so horrible to someone and name off all the “good” things they have done.

Again adding to their resume of “good deeds” to share with another group when this one shuts down their performance due to their lack of acting skills.

I think they need an award for Worst Performance in certain categories of life!

Not to say I myself wouldn’t qualify for a few categories but I don’t think I would win the prize.

The reason is I believe, in my own everyone has one opinion, you have to own up to your bad performances. Admit when you did a shitty job. Take the criticism like an adult, make improvements, even – gasp – apologize when you do harm to others and Mean it.

That deserves a freaking award right there. The courage to admit when you are Wrong and mean it. To make it right however that may be.

But to those who keep on “acting”, I hate to tell you the award season is over!

For the rest of you, please keep being fabulous!

 

Does this post resonate with you? Tell me how you really feel!