I woke up alive and realized I needed to live the moments


I rolled out of bed groaning and stumbled to the bathroom to start the getting ready process. Shortly after, I cheerily woke up the boy from his angelic looking sleep and watched him stumble his way to the bathroom and then get himself dressed.

I was putting on the last of my war paint when the text came through that one of our good caregivers was out sick and I needed to fill the shift. I doubled my speed for getting out of the house, changed into scrubs and we left for the day.

My clients were way across town, out in the country. I somewhat know their routine and knew they would be getting hungry and breakfast is part of their routine.

I arrived only a few minutes later than their normal caregiver, “T”, but they remembered me and were happy to have someone there to “assist” them for the day. Mr. K met me at the door with a smile and Miss P was still in the bed. One glance around told me that they had been pretty much alone all weekend, as “T” and I worked together to help make them a schedule and keep things consistent for them. We have a system for them to follow and have shared it with their children. Their family is involved in their care but they have lives and families to raise too, so we are there to help mom and dad.

It isn’t that mom and dad, or P & K, are all that up in years, they are both 70 with her just having a birthday. Their bodies are healthy for the most part and they love to talk, laugh and enjoy life. They no longer go as much as they use to because they are both in different stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia. They are like thousands of others in the Boomer generation that are still “young at heart” and in need of care due to a terminal diagnosis.

Miss P has middle stage Alzheimer’s and needs help bathing, getting dressed and can no longer cook or clean. She talks some, more in the afternoons, but she is so sweet and a joy to be around. She has no problem with me bathing her and “helping” her get pretty for her husband. As long as she knows where he is, and I gently remind her if she gets anxious, she is fine.

Mr. K has early stage dementia. He “runs” the household and “helps” Miss P. She is his world and he talks of “his beautiful pearl” and “young blushing bride” as though it is now. You can see the love they share. He knows her memory is “bad” and that she needs help. He knows he “forgets” things but he has reminders and that is why I am there to help them.

We do our best to communicate anything that goes on to each other so that their weekdays flow consistently, or at least a semblance of it.

To watch her struggle to remember how to remove her clothes and thank me over and over again for being so “nice” to “help” her get bathed and dressed for the day, it breaks my heart. I think back to earlier that morning, was it really just that morning? When I got the text I would be covering for T and my day with them.

To see people so vulnerable in so many ways because by nature they are kind and trusting, but now we add in the memory loss factor and I worry for them. My problems and irritations seem to shrink in light of what they face on a daily basis. Not that I don’t have my own issues and hardships, but that I can get so irritated over something so small at times, or that I got so caught up in something I missed something beautiful. It makes me rethink what I see as important.

I think of how my mind works and how I ponder which thing was more important and then I will jump to another topic. I also will multitask and continue on with the flow of my day. I just know what needs to be done and I do it. I may miss things, but I know it’s on the list for tomorrow even if there is no actual written list. Then I stop. Their lives are no longer like that. They can’t remember things as clearly or even at all in some instances.

That afternoon I drove straight from their home through craptastic traffic to get the boy. I knew we had things to do, I still had to work and there were chores to finish, but I scooped him up and hugged and kissed him immediately. I savored the little boy sweat smell and the way he holds me so tight. I want those memories to always be there. I don’t ever want to lose that part of me. If I forget everything else, I want to remember he chose me to be his mommy.

I woke up alive but after going through the day I realized how alive I needed to be and I am thankful that I was reminded just when I needed it.

Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day!

Sunday love and compassion


Sunday

gm happy sunday

The day of rest

Day of love and one of the best

Spend with loved ones or spend it alone

Go out adventuring or just stay at home

Find the joys in the little things

Eat, dance, laugh and sing

Never forget it’s not all about you

Be compassionate and kind in the things that you do

Never forget the ones no longer here

Those we love whom we miss so deeply and keep their memories dear

The ones who left before their time

Forever in our hearts and always on our mind

So keep your loved ones close in heart even if they are far

Before you find yourself missing them and looking among the stars

This hope I have for all of you to have a happy day

Keep hope alive and be kind to all for that’s the best of ways

do in love sunday

 

Good manners and kindness should be a part of everyday life


Growing up in the south I was taught from an early age to mind my manners.

Yes mam, no mam, thank you mam please. It was a little chant I was taught. And of course yes sir and no sir.

I was taught to be polite, respect my elders and not interrupt others when talking unless it was an emergency. I was taught to think of others and to be kind. Failure to mind my manners could find me in a lot of trouble with my parents and grandparents.

I still say mam and sir to people, both younger and older and even my age. It comes from getting in trouble enough that I just said mam to all females and sir to all males. It isn’t always easy and I do slip up sometimes, but for the majority of the time, I stick to what I feel is the right way to be.

I am teaching my boy to “mind his manners” and raise him the way I was raised. Sometimes it is a challenge.

It seems to many, that manners and being polite and kind to others isn’t on the top of their list of priorities.

This is something I truly cannot understand. I realize that the mam and sir are more southern, but manners and consideration of others is something that should matter to everyone.

We have a society of “me” people. People who seem to forget or don’t care about others. If you ask them “Would you like a drink?” we get a “yeah sure” instead of “yes, please.” Still 2 words but just nicer.

My boy is 5 and when he gets excited he sometimes forgets and interrupts myself and others. I gently remind him to wait and he will apologize. What is sad that so many adults feel like they have the right to interrupt anyone and say what they please with no regards to how it may make someone feel. If adults do this and children see it, why wouldn’t a kid mimic said adult?

We need to think of others instead of being so selfish. We need to stop and think before we open out mouths. We need to be a bit more compassionate towards others.

Tis the season to help others. Why not start with the first person you see today? Why not try to at least go out of your way to be nice and use your manners every day for the rest of the year? It isn’t that much longer, only 2 more weeks.

I challenge you! Maybe it will stick with you and you will carry it over into the new year. Just think if everyone helped one person a day and said kind words and used their manners for the next two weeks how many people could be affected? It would be a bowl full of positive. It’s worth a try!

Keep Hope Alive!

We can do this!

The Friday before Halloween!


It’s almost here! Halloween! And its Friday, the day before Halloween!

halloween 1

Last night we had a trial run so to speak. The boy and I went to a local assisted living and he got to trick or treat. He was a red ninja with devil horns, yes I laughed as I got 2 pair of the devil horns at the dolla store for an adult without a costume on Halloween. I am a bit enthusiastic about Halloween! I also wore a pair of the horns. Like from when we left the house until after we got home including at the gas station! The residents got to visit with the children and everyone had a fabulous time! It was so much fun and there was a big turnout of children. It meant so much to the people living there to get to enjoy children dressed up and the kids had a safe environment and adoration by everyone they met. He made a lot of new friends and got a lot of candy for about 45 minutes of visiting with folks! I finally met the gentleman who’s always asking me for a date! He said, “Hey you’re the cutie from the day room I see and you were here today. Wait, that one’s not mine! Let me just give y’all some candy! I love your shirt and your horns!” It was fabulous!

Today is the boy’s Halloween party at school. I am still not sure what he is going to choose but it’s between Batman, a Ninja turtle, Red Power Ranger (or blue, why not?) or the red ninja costume… he has options. I have decided to go as the pink power ranger. I know I said “never again” but these are kids and they will get a kick out of it! Only I will wear my black cowboy boots instead of the “cute” white go-go like boots I got to go with the costume but I found out they are torture to walk in after about 45 minutes. And I will medicate myself before I fabulously and gracelessly get there for set up! I will have a bit of time to hang with the teachers and decorate before the small creatures get up from their “nap time.” *Sigh, I sometimes miss naps! I am sure we will have fun and dance about. Hence the medications needed!

halloween l s b

That’s the reason this fabulous crazy mama plans a semi low key evening in with crafts, easy dinner and Halloween movies with the boy before the big day! In my family, we dress up and go out and about. We may hit a festival or something Halloweenie and then go trick or treating. It is always Fabulously Fun! I love that I have passed the love of the holiday to the boy. Of course we pretend to be all kinds of people and dress in costumes even when it isn’t Halloween, so that may make us a touch strange but it still makes us totally fabulous! And maybe a wee bit crazy but in that good kind of way!

I hope you all have a fabulously fun Friday and get ready for Halloween!!!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!!!!!!

halloween style

Be Yourself


Be yourself

How many times have you heard that said? Be Yourself.

We teach it and preach it to our kids and anyone else that will listen.

Be tolerant of others.

Show compassion.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Yet more and more I see so many adults judging others going against what they “teach” their children and say in front of others.

They tell them to be kind, to share, to not bully.

Yet they do the exact thing they teach against if it goes against their “beliefs” or “way of thinking”.

This is something I think of quite often as the mother of a 4 almost 5 year old son.

I am blessed to have so many friends! I have friends of all ages and walks of life. I have friends from many different ethnic backgrounds, friends who practice different religions and friends who are gay, lesbian, Trans & bi.

Am I supposed to tell him that the ones who don’t look or act like the majority of people he is around are wrong or their life means less than his?

Am I expected to lie and tell him “it’s wrong” when I don’t see it as wrong but much of society does?

I am supposed to “hide” him from those who are different than he is by keeping him sheltered and home all of his young life, so that when he becomes a teenager or young adult he is appalled at the world and mad at me for not letting him know how life truly is?

Am I expected to tell him he can’t “be friends” with another human being because society doesn’t approve?

I Hope that’s not what’s expected of me because I WON’T DO IT.

I will not teach my son that any one person’s life matters over another. That someone is less than him because of their color, their beliefs, their gender or their personal preferences in whom they chose to love.

We hover over our children to protect them yet we do them more harm by tearing down another person for their beliefs and who they are as a human being.

When I tell him to be himself I want him to find who he is.

I don’t want to map his life out.

That isn’t my job as a parent.

My job is to love, nourish, protect, care, guide, teach and help him find out who he is and how to be the person he wants to be.

I know I am still in the some-what “easy” years before he reaches the age of understanding and sees for himself how the world really is, however I can still teach him compassion, caring, acceptance and how to value others.

Unfortunately the world will show him racism, hate, bullying along with a host of other things that scare the crap out of me.

If I do my job right, he will be able to navigate through that minefield and come out a better person.

I have never shared a link in a post before but I was researching some things and came across an article and video of how kids react to Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner. #HatchKids

 bhttps://www.yahoo.com/parenting/watch-how-these-kids-react-to-caitlyn-jenner-121190485333.html

 If we are really, really lucky maybe by the time my son grows up, maybe the hate, fear and misunderstandings won’t be as bad.

After all, I always say Keep Hope Alive!

Happy Wednesday My Fabulously Graceless Friends!