Life can change in an instant


life is short live it cherish love anger fear memories

In an instant it can all change. Your plans, you very life can change. All with a phone call, text or personal visit.
I may be graceless but I try to work on a schedule, which is harder now that I do freelance and work for myself. So when I schedule time for things, I reschedule other things and even tack on extra things to sometimes get yet another thing taken care of. The schedule is flexible and I juggle but I do pretty well most of the time. If something changes I can go with the flow and make arrangements to reschedule and work around the other things.
My original plans for this weekend included much overdue time needed with my girls, a bit of organization and many laughs and good friends. Since I was already going to be in the area, I also scheduled a needed doctor appointment prior to the getting together.
Then came the text I didn’t want to get. My friend’s aunt had passed. Although it was early in the week, I knew that our plans for the weekend would change. I knew she needed to be there for her family and I want her to be. She was apologizing to me for having to cancel. And asking if I would let our other friend know, she was coming in from yet another state, that she had to cancel and was sorry. This lady is quality let me tell you! Here she is with the loss of her beloved aunt, having to pack up and travel to another state and worrying about canceling plans with 2 friends. 2 friends who are immediately asking what we can do and saying not to worry, and meaning it, that of course we can re-schedule. Yes, you can call on your way there or anytime you need to talk! I feel for her and her family. It is hard enough when someone we love passes, it is also hard to coordinate your life, you job, your spouse/partner and family to be gone for several days to mourn the passing of your loved one. It takes it out of you both emotionally and physically. You deal with relatives, friends, people you haven’t seen in years or some you have never met and are meeting finally for the first time. It is bittersweet as you know it is the one you love who brought everyone together and they are no longer here
Of course we are sad we aren’t getting together and able to do the things we had “planned” to do, however certain things take precedence over “plans”.  Life Happens.
When my daddy died I was devastated. We all knew it was coming, and coming soon. We were blessed in respect to knowing that it would be quick and hopefully painless. It was fortuitous that I was there with my daddy, close family and friends when he left this plane. A part of my life was on hold while we took care of The Final Arrangements for my father. I called into work to let them know what was happening, I still took care of the boy, but was also helping my mom, uncle, brother and aunt as they were helping me. We are all trying to just get through, even with a “plan” for this event, it was not an “easy” process. I am grateful to family and friends that stepped up, either through actions or just kind words or gestures, of being there for me. My “little sister” Wucy took over packing up my home in TN before driving to AL with her wonderful fiancé for the services. She then helped the day of the funeral when our home turned into an impromptu large gathering of friends, family and business associates of my dad and family. There were so many people there that wanted to share their memory and be with others who loved and respected him. The night before the funeral it snowed. There were ice storms in the surrounding areas and there was concern we needed to move the funeral time. Fortunately, the day of the streets around us were clear enough for us to make it to the church and then to the cemetery and home safely. It was those little things that got us through, but now we were facing a different reality than the one we had previously. In an instant my mother went from married to widowed. In an instant, my brother and I no longer had a father and my uncle no longer had a brother. We knew it was coming as my dad had been fighting a brave fight against cancer for a second time. It did not make it any easier when the moment came and he wasn’t with us any longer. We were glad he was no longer suffering, but also upset that we were no longer here to share with us his love, humor and wisdom when we desperately needed it.

i dont grieve for moment of loved one

Life can change in an instant. You never know what will happen or when plans will change.
Tell you family and friends you love them and how much they mean to you every chance you get.
Always Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day.

stop n look around life amazing

 

Father’s Day 2015


fathers day

As I was thinking of what to write for my Sunday post I realized that today is Father’s Day.

For me this is a hard day to get through as my own daddy passed away in February of last year with stage 4 kidney cancer.

Our family was with him when he passed and that is something to be thankful for.

I was blessed to have him in my life for 43 years.

I was a “daddy’s girl”. I guess I always will be.

I am the eldest child and my brother is 3 ½ years younger than me.

I was always the rebel and the one who paved the way for him to be the “golden child” haha

My brother and I are very close and I know that on that account, I am lucky.

Father’s Day is bittersweet for him as well.

Two months after my daddy passed away my nephew was born and he became a father.

I remember walking into the hospital room seeing my little bro holding his newborn son and bursting into tears as I felt like I was in a magical place.

I was seeing a photo in my mind of our father holding me with the same look of pure love I was now seeing on the face of my brother.

Like father like son.

My own son was blessed to have known his “Pops”.

He still talks about him, misses him and promises he will tell his cousin all about Pops and how great he is.

I said “is” because that is how we keep him alive is by talking about him.

We aren’t obsessed with making sure he is in our conversations daily, however I know that a single day doesn’t go by without me thinking about him and I know my mom and brother feel the same.

My parents were married for 45 years.

A true until death us do part.

Our house was not “Leave it to Beaver” bliss but then there was Always love, even in the best and worst of times.

My daddy was ALWAYS there for me and so many others whenever needed.

He had more patience than anyone I know.

I know when he was younger he had a temper, he often told me about it and I heard stories from family and friends.

However he realized very young that a bad temper would get you nowhere and being calm even in a storm was the better way to move through life.

Often times when someone passes we tend to canonize them and make them more “saintly” than when they were living.

I can say that isn’t the case with my father.

My daddy was a well known and loved respected business man.

He knew and met people from all around the world.

The love and light he cast out to family, friends and strangers was astounding.

When he died, after the funeral, which was massive, there was a reporter from the local paper there to do an article on him.

I couldn’t find the words to describe the man who is my father.

Understanding, strong, loving, caring, compassionate, believed in equality for all humans, was the Yoda of golf, hunting and fishing, always there, never judging, always thought before he spoke knowing his words were taken to heart.

How do you really convey that?

I have said many times I do not like crowds.

I am pretty weird about it nor am I going to draw attention to myself.

However when daddy died I had made him a promise.

I keep my promises.

I sang “Amazing Grace” a Capella at his funeral.

There were hundreds of people there but I sang for him and my family as they knew it was his favorite and I would sing it for him.

I completely zoned out and saw him there smiling as he always did while I sang my heart out with tears streaming down my face.

I didn’t care about if I was off key or looked strange.

I only cared that my daddy knew how much I loved him so I sang to him.

This will be my second Father’s Day without my daddy “here” with me.

I know I will shed tears.

I know I will sing his song out loud.

I know that many of my friends and family members are also thinking of their fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles and friends who are no longer with us.

I know I do.

But I also know my daddy would want me to remember those who are still here too.

So to all of the fathers out there, and mothers who are both mom and dad, I send out a Happy Father’s Day to you!

I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday!

I am including one of my all-time favorite photos of my son and my daddy.

It means the world to me.