As I was thinking of what to write for my Sunday post I realized that today is Father’s Day.
For me this is a hard day to get through as my own daddy passed away in February of last year with stage 4 kidney cancer.
Our family was with him when he passed and that is something to be thankful for.
I was blessed to have him in my life for 43 years.
I was a “daddy’s girl”. I guess I always will be.
I am the eldest child and my brother is 3 ½ years younger than me.
I was always the rebel and the one who paved the way for him to be the “golden child” haha
My brother and I are very close and I know that on that account, I am lucky.
Father’s Day is bittersweet for him as well.
Two months after my daddy passed away my nephew was born and he became a father.
I remember walking into the hospital room seeing my little bro holding his newborn son and bursting into tears as I felt like I was in a magical place.
I was seeing a photo in my mind of our father holding me with the same look of pure love I was now seeing on the face of my brother.
Like father like son.
My own son was blessed to have known his “Pops”.
He still talks about him, misses him and promises he will tell his cousin all about Pops and how great he is.
I said “is” because that is how we keep him alive is by talking about him.
We aren’t obsessed with making sure he is in our conversations daily, however I know that a single day doesn’t go by without me thinking about him and I know my mom and brother feel the same.
My parents were married for 45 years.
A true until death us do part.
Our house was not “Leave it to Beaver” bliss but then there was Always love, even in the best and worst of times.
My daddy was ALWAYS there for me and so many others whenever needed.
He had more patience than anyone I know.
I know when he was younger he had a temper, he often told me about it and I heard stories from family and friends.
However he realized very young that a bad temper would get you nowhere and being calm even in a storm was the better way to move through life.
Often times when someone passes we tend to canonize them and make them more “saintly” than when they were living.
I can say that isn’t the case with my father.
My daddy was a well known and loved respected business man.
He knew and met people from all around the world.
The love and light he cast out to family, friends and strangers was astounding.
When he died, after the funeral, which was massive, there was a reporter from the local paper there to do an article on him.
I couldn’t find the words to describe the man who is my father.
Understanding, strong, loving, caring, compassionate, believed in equality for all humans, was the Yoda of golf, hunting and fishing, always there, never judging, always thought before he spoke knowing his words were taken to heart.
How do you really convey that?
I have said many times I do not like crowds.
I am pretty weird about it nor am I going to draw attention to myself.
However when daddy died I had made him a promise.
I keep my promises.
I sang “Amazing Grace” a Capella at his funeral.
There were hundreds of people there but I sang for him and my family as they knew it was his favorite and I would sing it for him.
I completely zoned out and saw him there smiling as he always did while I sang my heart out with tears streaming down my face.
I didn’t care about if I was off key or looked strange.
I only cared that my daddy knew how much I loved him so I sang to him.
This will be my second Father’s Day without my daddy “here” with me.
I know I will shed tears.
I know I will sing his song out loud.
I know that many of my friends and family members are also thinking of their fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles and friends who are no longer with us.
I know I do.
But I also know my daddy would want me to remember those who are still here too.
So to all of the fathers out there, and mothers who are both mom and dad, I send out a Happy Father’s Day to you!
I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday!
I am including one of my all-time favorite photos of my son and my daddy.
It means the world to me.