Missing my boy


I hate this emptiness.

My boy goes to his dad’s for a few days every other week.

You’d think I would be used to it after 2 years but I’m not.

I am already dreading his 2 weekends in a row away from me.

God knows I do need a break.

I know he will have fun.

I can’t help but worry.

It isn’t like we didn’t try to make it work.

We went to couples therapy before we even got married, however in hindsight, I realize we shouldn’t have married just because I got knocked up.

But it was a miracle I was able to have a child, our families felt it was right and we had been best friends for so long.

I was in a whirlwind of shock.

I tried so hard and I know he did too.

But if we are honest, it wasn’t the best idea.

And a treasured friendship was shattered.

But we got a beautiful, smart, willful, amazing child from it.

So I work on the “co-parenting” thing.

But my arms ache for my little mini me in male form.

And I breathe.

Because I can’t do anything else.

I write for him too so that one day he knows how much it hurt me to let him go but that I had to.

I know he will understand.

He just came to me, put his little arms around my neck, and said, “Mommy, I know you’re working but I just had to tell you I love you and you’re the bestest mommy I ever had.”

How could I not miss that?!

I have written how much it meant to me to be his mommy. How I never thought I would be a mommy. How happy I am he chose me to be his mommy “this time” as he puts it.

His journals from his mommy.

Stories and poems of my life before him, my thoughts and dreams and how he was a part of my dreams.

Later I will be mom or even mother, but for now I am mommy.

When he is not with me I miss him more than I ever knew was possible.

I love this child with a feral intensity that I didn’t know I was capable of.

I’m thankful he has family on both sides that love him and want to be with him.

I know how precious that is.

I know I want only the best for him but I can’t do everything.

I know I make mistakes and that I am far from perfect.

I know I can’t control how everything plays out.

I know I will never stop loving him no matter what he chooses.

I know I will never stop fighting for him and being his strongest supporter.

I know I will never stop teaching him how to be a better human being.

I know I will never stop disciplining him, even when he’s 30 because I know I will always be his mama. No matter where I am.

So now I will write in his journal and look at pictures of this beautiful creature I created and be thankful I have him for the time I am given.

Because I am thankful I have him at all.

b run

What was I thinking?!


I am wondering when I decided to try and become Martha freaking Stewart/ June Cleaver/Carol Brady – ISH?!

oldies mom

When I decided I was going to try to be so “together” and make all of these fabulous plans, cook these fabulous meals and do all of this adult stuff with “style”. What the hell am I thinking?!

I AM FABULOUSLY GRACELESS!

crazy beach me

I try to try but as my good friend says, and I concur, “That totally smacks of effort!”

I am just a “normal” (ok maybe not normal normal but somewhere maybe within 1000 miles of there) female, mother, daughter, sister, friend, human who works daily, often times moment to moment to get through this thing we call life.

Sometime after I had my boy, at the ripe “advanced maternal age” – a term I am willing to throat punch over – of 39, it was like I caught a virus of how I needed to handle moving onward with my life now that I had someone I was also responsible for and sending out into the world.

I wanted to make sure my boy’s life experience was as fun and educational, obviously filled with love which is perhaps the easiest part and no brainer, as possible.

I have OCD and accept it. I work to make it more balancing than having it control me. I try to always have “a plan”.

The first year of parenthood was awe inspiring and also something out of one of the seventh rings of hell.

My routines, logic and plans were quickly tossed out the side window in order to make room for this creature who had captured my soul the minute I found out I was pregnant but who had tossed the my existence into some crazed notion of a life I had no idea how to navigate through at times.

I think it’s fair to say every first time parent has pre-conceived notions of how they will raise their children, handles situations and how life will flow along.

I think it’s also fair to say many times that idea is full of a big old diaper of the worst poo imaginable.

cartoon multi mom

I guess I have always done my marching to some random garbled beat in my own mind.

I have my oddities and own side effects, some I am working on and others I chose to keep because they are just the core of who I am.

To say my life has not gone “as planned” is a gross understatement of massive proportions.

Not to say I don’t love my life. I truly do.

That’s the crazy part.

I saw life before and after having a kid as one way.

I learned before I even had him, life did not always go as planned. Sometimes it went very poorly and how you chose to handle it makes all the difference in the world. So I would modify my flow.

After the boy came bouncing into My world, everything I knew turned upside down. From my hospital stay, to the first years, to the “un-coupling” of his dad and myself, Life freaking Changed.

This did not, however, change the file in my brain that I needed to strive to be more like the mythical TV, movie and reality moms. You know the ones that have it all?

not me cartoon mom w balance

Still having themselves, the job, the kid, the organized house and schedules with all the fluff.

And I just snorted laughing at reading that sentence because no matter how much that particular file in my brain wants and strives to be “that perfect” I Know it won’t ever happen!!

I am very okay with that!

I went from the free-spirit, flexible, OCD, semi-organized life to one where I am responsible for another human and my schedule and plans are somewhat regimented.

I am still a free-spirit and still flexible. I’ve had to work hard on my OCD and organized is all relative in how one’s perspective is!

Still the BEST part is The Boy.

b coraline

I’ve had a lot of “accomplishments” and proud moments in my life, but having my son is the absolute, hands down, most fabulously amazing creation and contribution to this planet I could have ever even hoped to offer.

So yeah, I may look a hot mess, I may not have everything as organized in my home as it “should be”, but I can guarantee my boy is happy and well-adjusted and learning to roll with the punches and accept folk for who they are. He is learning the meaning and value of doing as you say and how to treat others. He is learning while he is the top of my world, in life everyone matters and deserves respect.

He is most definitely loved by many. My love for him and the miracle that he is cannot even be articulated well because it is too vast and made up of things I didn’t know existed before him.

As for me, well I am not completely giving up the ghost of Martha, June, Carol and the other mamas, but for now, I am me.

me in beatles shirt

I will take a line or page or two from them when I can but in the end, I have to say, I think I am doing alright!

I hope that you are doing alright too!

Have a Fabulous Wednesday from the Queen of Gracelessness!

The beach is in my soul


At the time this article goes out I will have officially been gone from the beach for at least nearly 20 hours… almost a full day.

I will have woke with my last view of the beach for a while.

Of course I will photograph it but often I don’t need the visual reminders. Not of this place.

I always walk out onto the balcony, look around and then close my eyes and breathe it all in.

balcony view

The sights, the smell, the endless ocean with all of its vast adventures.

The Life.

I can be anywhere, any room, any situation and just Stop.

I can smell it. The salt and sand and tropical smells.

I can feel it. The breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico caressing my skin. Rain or shine it feels so different, so alive.

I can see it in my mind. I can close my eyes and see all hours of the day or night here.

For all of my existence I have come to this place.

feet beach

This body of water.

The beaches along the Gulf Coast have helped shape who I am as a human being.

As I am sure they have shaped thousands before, even now and after I am gone.

I’ve seen the sun rise, mid-day and setting sun. I have sat on the beach from dawn til dusk and dusk til dawn.

I have slept on the beach.

I have played in this ocean and learned of the creatures that live here and respect them. Even if I am not fond of some of them this is their home. Their space.

I have walked these shores with the ones I love and those that are no longer here with me to walk in the surf or sit in the sand and stare out at the beauty.

But here I feel so close to them.

I feel close to all of those I love and care for.

I love sharing this Oneness of everything with my boy.

beach crab catchin

My amazing miracle that constantly blows my mind and fills me with love.

He reminds me of this place.

We came from this place.

The place where I am close to everything, call it God, the Universe, all of those things we cannot articulate into words but its right there.

It is where I can and do find my soul. I nourish it.

I find it and I replenish my being.

And I can come anytime I want.

I just have to remember the way.

This time, I know that I have found it.

I will not forget it.

Life is too precious to let myself forget this and how to mend my soul.

pier balcony view

 

Happy Friday Y’all!


This week has flowed to a different beat.

I left on Monday for a week at the beach.

Meeting up with a portion of our family.

There are 10 of us at the condo.

Yes 10 human beings.

8 adults and 2 kids.

Pure chaos.

More fun than you can imagine!

However, privacy is just a dream! Haha but oh so true

Having so many of us has afforded this mama something that she hasn’t had in over 6 years… a beach cocktail. Thank you my dear sweet cousin for just handing me the cup and saying, “enjoy”!

I am not a big drinker at all, however, I do enjoy a drink on occasion.

 photo 5

My view from the condo!

I forgot how much fun it is to sit back and enjoy myself as I am usually constantly “on” with the boy.

Having others around affords me the luxury of just sitting back and chilling out.

I mean I am still “on” but it’s more laid back.

I love it!

I’m not used to having all these people watch my boy and it’s like a mini vacation.

I know everyone isn’t as blessed or as lucky as I am to have the awesome family that I do.

It is challenging somewhat space wise.

As OCD as I am this can be a hurdle I have to overcome. But it seems easier and easier with less stress and knowing I am not alone.

Family and friends you love and trust are invaluable these days.

Anyone who knows me knows I also need my quite me time.

Something a bit hard to come by sharing space and schedules with so many folks!

I must say that I have been blessed with spaces of quite time because these people Know I need it.

Like being able to write my blog and a maybe a few other articles.

It’s not like I can just go and grab some words off the web and copy and paste it and call it my own. Not only is it plagiarism but it’s just not something I can do!

So I get my time!

And like just now it got interrupted but it was just my brother, also working, while our kiddos are at the beach with everyone else so we can work.

Of course since we don’t get to spend as much time together as we would like to do. And I miss the banter of how we are. Complimenting and berating each other in the same breath! Ah sibling love!

It really is just This though that makes me so relaxed.

Being able to enjoy my family. Those I don’t get to see as much as we’d like and spend quality moments with them.

All from my happy-find-my-soul-spot!

It doesn’t get much better than this!

photo 2 

Another fabulous view

Happy Friday Y’all!

Make it Freaking Fabulous!

 

Me and the “smart phone”


 It has now been 2 1/2 years since I got my first smart phone.
Prior to that I did have a cell phone but I only had a cell phone that was for calls & limited texts only for the last 12 years!
I went kicking and screaming into getting a smart phone and now I don’t know how I lived without it! Sadly I am serious!

I mean not only can I call and text, but I can check emails, the weather, get directions and the recipe for that awesome cake I need! I even have robot Suri who lives in my phone and who has a dude’s voice because I mean I had a phone that talked to me why not make the voice male if I am female?!

And no, I have no idea how I changed the voice!

I have a few apps but I am too OCD to have all those icons on that little screen and I don’t need to keep looking at my dang phone!
My first phone was gifted to me by a close friend because I desperately needed a phone as I was very financially challenged.

One week into it I broke it.

I had no idea how costly they were and my first response when told the cost, was why in the hell would you buy me a $600 phone or get me a $600 phone even if it is insured?

And for the love of all that is holy tell me how much it costs even if we are not “technically” paying for it! I am klutzy but do try to be extra careful with costly items! (Vehicles, nice clothes, appliances, etc.).

I ended up buying it one of those otter box case devices for it so that I could at least drop it without the screen shattering.

I have smaller heart attacks now every time it gets bumped, or god forbid, accidentally dropped.

I should have known.

There are times I feel like I am a slave to my phone.

I know I do not use it to the full extent of what it can do but then, I don’t think I really want to!

The fact that I could, if I desired, to download MS Word and Excel freaks me out.

I want more screen to do that kind of stuff on! My eyes don’t see so good!

It’s bad enough that I can not only type to text message, but also to respond to emails.

The screen of my iPhone isn’t large enough to really type paragraphs.

No I won’t upgrade to those small notepad size “phones”. It is not for me. I can only imagine how much that costs and again, size, me and klutz factor… Not good!

I have recently, like in the past 2 months, realized how handy that talk to text button is. I have also learned Suri and I need a communication class so he doesn’t make up new words to replace the words he obviously can’t understand! I speak just fine with maybe a tish of a southern drawl.

I have found fun apps but don’t have anywhere near as many as most of my friends do.

I also got an iPad several years ago for Christmas.

Did you know you can link those two devices?!

They have a fluffy cloud that stores all of your info too, but there are glitches in that!

I don’t want my boy watching movies on my phone for instance.

That is iPad only.

I do a decent job of keeping them separate since he basically commandeered the iPad! It has more games on it but the majority of those he actually learns things, but don’t tell him that!

It isn’t the Jetsons yet but we are pretty darn close.

I about freaked out when I did face time for the first time with my parents after my son was born. So very cool!

I do actually do a lot of research on my phone. I love the ease of it.

It is smarter than me!

But, you see, I have a confession.

I love my computer, and yes it’s a PC.

I know they have issues, I have dealt with them since the early 90’s but it’s like an old car I know how to repair.

I have a lap top that is so much easier for me to write on.

Plus I can see the screen on a larger detail!

I love typing.

I grew up in the age of typewriters – yes the electric ones that were not computerized!

I have also used an old school typewriter.

Maybe I am a geek but I love putting my fingers on the keys and writing!

Just as I still love putting pen to paper.

I will admit that the “smart phone” has made my life easier.

I will also admit I don’t totally trust it!

I will say that the ratio of wanting to throw it out the window due to malfunction is much less than it was with the old school phones!

I still regularly think of tossing it.

I wish life wasn’t so complicated because we literally have the world at our fingertips.

We forget to slow down, and sometimes we have to even schedule “down time.”

That’s pretty sad.

So while I do love my smarter-than-me phone and I am very, very grateful for it, I miss the old school world.

The ones where you wrote letters, called on the land line phone and if you didn’t get someone, had to call back.

The world where you had to drive around to find places or if you’re feeling adventurous and use a real honest to God map with latitude and longitude.

You went to the library to research information.

Video games were Atari and Nintendo. Yes I am that old and I wasn’t a gamer.

But life is about changes and how we adapt to the world around us.

We now have smart watches, smart homes and all kinds of smart gadgets.

For now I am sticking to the phone, iPad and computer.

I may go dig the old Wii out of the attic for the boy and me to play on rainy days when we are done drawing or crafting and I am sick of movies.

He will have plenty of technology growing up.

He already has way more than I did at his age!

So I try to slow it down when he’s with me.

Watching a movie, mostly on TV but sometimes the iPad, is my worst offense.

And we recently got Netflix!

I do have to keep up with technology so that I can keep up with him.

Like I will need one more pass word to remember!

The boy can already figure out stuff faster on the smart phones and iPads than most adults.

It’s scary but exciting in the big brother/aliens kind of way.

I can do it.

But I can still turn it off whenever I chose.

I am glad we’ve moved “forward” but sometimes we need to take the time to remember the “now.”

How smart is That?!

Stay fabulous my graceless peeps!

P.S. I am listening to the waves crash into shore… we made it to the beach!!!!

 

Happy Monday My Friends!!


One of the best things about blogging is that I can set it up to post for me in advance…. I mean I don’t get up at whatever early hour I send them out!

I am not a morning person!

However I do write daily for my blog as well as other articles.

That said HAPPY MONDAY MY PEOPLE!!!

I am going to the beach!!!

Yes by mid-day I will be headed south with the boy to meet the family!

So this post will be short but cheerful!

Enjoy the photos from past trips!

This is Freddie the seagull.

seagulls

I am going to my happy place.

The place where I find myself and my soul sings.

beach sunset

So I am sending out my happy thoughts to you all!

I hope you have a fabulous Monday and a wonderful week!

Tomorrow’s post will be fueled by me breathing in the salt air after sticking my toes in the Gulf of Mexico!

beach sweet home AL

Stay fabulous my friends!

Another day, need another dollar – Part 2


Last month I wrote an article titled “Another day, need another dollar”.

I am pretty sure a part of the reason I got so many responses was that I finally figured out I got some crazy spam emails and they were referring to god only knows what and I took that to be a response to my post.

Some actually were and others were referring to a spam post somewhere out there in cyber space. Really I have no idea how it got there. I didn’t write about clothes, sex or the other random messages I got!

Then I read and reread and read again that post.

I don’t really get it why it seems to genuinely interest people.

I mean I think it’s ok but seriously today, it is for me, another day, needing a lotta dollars!

I was reflecting back on my thoughts and how some of them I realized that I have found my way through to get on track, how my trains get derailed and how I still have now a list of over 50 “topics”, read “those thoughts running round inside of my mind” yet I end up writing about what just flows forth from my fingertips!

At least I can say with complete honesty this was a topic on my list so go me!

I have been writing a few articles for others, whooowhooo, as well as done some sitter work for a dear older lady.

Sadly I talked myself out of that job as she needed 24/7 care and I was concerned that with the group we had helping out, they would run out of steam, not have back up and a few other things. I wrote a short novel on “things to do and take care of for Ms. D”. I went from hired help to consultant quick but it was best for the patient!

It really is another day and I really do need another dollar(s)!

One of my close friends recently taught my boy to hold out his hand, look the person straight in the eye and say, “Tuition, tuition, tuition!” with enthusiasm and then he is handed money!

Every time he asks the boy, “What is the phrase that pays?!” and he diligently answers with joy in his heart and a gleam in his eyes, “Tuition, tuition, tuition!”

Thus far he has made about $10 off this little scheme.

He is tickled pink.

I then explained to the boy how this really works.

That if you save it up and put it in your little banks, a silver horse and a dog in his house, you can afford to buy…… A Transformer!

His little eyes lit up with total delight when I told him that if he keeps putting money into the banks in your room, soon he will have enough to go to the store and buy a transformer toy that he chooses!

If he keeps saving money that he can buy himself special toys!

He is now excited to learn with the play money till I got him at the dollar gentral!

I spent a dollar to teach him a lesson in how to count money while also teaching him how to save up for something he wants.

Not such bad lessons!

As for me?

Each day I move closer and closer to earning those dollars!

I got a few articles written, and I jumped across a huge hurdle I have been standing behind and took the first big step of building up some writing credits! I am also doing some home management projects because I love a challenge!

Who do you think is going to have to pick up the slack when the boy wants the bigger Transformer toy?

I never give up!

My motto is keep hope alive!

You can bet your sweet patootie I am doing just that!

Have a fabulous Thursday My Graceless Friends!

Our other children…. For the love of Pete


petey

Often times we as humans decide to adopt a pet.

Dogs, cats, pigs, lizards, ferrets – the list can go on!

Animal companionship is shown to lower blood pressure and even prolong life.

I have seen firsthand how pet therapy affects those with Alzheimer’s and dementia, as well as with those with special needs and other medical challenges. They do wonders for the regular folks too.

About 14 years ago my good friend adopted this amazingly sweet pup on the fourth of July.

His name was Pete and we called him Pete the Sweet.

His chances of a long life were not great as he had a host of medical problems and kennel cough. However, Pete beat all of the odds and became the big brother of the family as they went on to adopt or acquire 5 other dogs.

But Petey was first.

His smiling face, soft, fuzzy body and the “harf harf” bark became the back drop for a visit.

As he aged he had problems with his hips, his vision and his hearing.

His mama loved him so much she would let him out and then if she wasn’t outside with him, would go bring him back up the stairs when he completed his business and his tour of the yard.

They talked about putting a ramp onto the porch so he could go in and out as he pleased.

Yes Pete was well loved.

I talk of him in the past tense as he finally crossed that Rainbow Bridge.

Our hearts are sad and the tears keep flowing.

The support on my friend’s Facebook page is overwhelming.

So many people loved that dog and she is a fabulous person.

I even changed my profile photo to one of the boy and Pete about 2 years ago.

To say that Pete was a family member is an understatement.

In the beginning it was Pete, then his brother Walter joined him.

Bootsy, Walter’s sister lived across the street, however she kept visiting and eventually ended up staying too.

Then Chunky and Pepper joined the party.

Supposedly there would be no more dog in their house. I mean 5 is a lot!

All well cared for house dogs and the mommy is OCD so clean was going to happen no matter what!

A few months ago, Pete got another sister in the form of Bella Bunny.

He was thrilled as he seemed to love most dogs and a few cats.

He was always barking. If someone moved, he barked to let them know to set down as he wanted to make sure all of his humans were together.

We have all said on many occasions, “Pete stop barking!”

I wish we could tell him that again.

They were fortunate the vet came to their home to deliver the “shot” to finally give him the peace he truly needed.

Everyone was home with him when he crossed over.

I have noticed more and more how people choose to do this over taking their pet somewhere.

It is so sweet to have them at home, surrounded by loved ones and familiar things, when they finally leave the planet.

Although it is hard, we know he is better off with no more pain and able to run again and bark at whatever he wants!

Selfishly I wish I could have had one more cuddle, one more lick from my buddy, but I am thankful I was just with him only a few weeks ago.

After talking with my friend I knew it was a matter of time.

It still doesn’t make it any easier.

I know when I walk into her house I will greet all the babies as I always do.

I also know the water works will start because they got Pete shortly after they moved into that house and he was one of the first to shove his way to you so he could get first loves.

It won’t be the same.

When someone we love dies we mourn that person and it takes us a while to get through it.

You never get over it but getting through it take times.

It is no different with animals who have become a part of our household.

For Pete, his humans were his mom, dad and big brother.

That was the “immediate” family.

Of course there is a host of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who are also grieving the loss of our beloved Petey.

So for all you animal lovers out there, give a hug or scratch to you babies.

You never know when it will be the last time you get to love them up.

Please do so often and with joy.

I know the tears will fall onto my pillow and I will wake up tomorrow and think I will get to see him in a few days.

Then I will remember that he has now gone on and crossed that Rainbow Bridge.

I like to think he is playing with his doggy cousins and pain free.

To my friend and her family, my heart cries with you and I know this pain.

I wish I could take it away, but I know it is part of the process of grief and you would never have it any other way.

Until we meet again, have fun chasing your friends and barking yourself horse!

I love you Sweet Pete with the Fuzzy Feet.

P.S. I urge anyone who is thinking about to adopt a dog or cat from your local shelter!

 

expectations


Often times in life we have so many expectations placed on us.

It seems like they are there daily to keep you on your course or drive you out of your mind.

I know I place expectations on myself.

I often wonder if I am too hard on myself or not hard enough.

I know that others have expectations of me and I know that I let them down sometimes.

I hate letting people down.

Some matter more than other, but to me, they all matter to varying degrees.

I love being told I should raise or lower my expectations.

Please tell me about the how and why I should!

For general things, movies, going out in public, etc. I have placed lower expectations so that when I have a pleasant experience I am often surprised and happy that they met and exceeded my original expectation.

With people I place a higher expectation. Though I realize it is not more than I place on myself.

We all have quirks, issues and faults.

It isn’t about that.

More of the basic human decency to communicate, respect and not take each other for granted.

Lately I am finding that many friends and family have gone above and beyond when it comes to me and my own expectations.

I am constantly amazed when someone tells me I inspired them or I performed much better than anticipated.

I recently found myself facing the first time of not being able to meet a deadline. I physically could not do it.

One of my fabulous friends stepped up to the plate and just offered, no strings, to help me.

This is how my friends and I are. We just step in and help.

I can’t tell you how much this meant to me.

Another friend knew I was upset about having to go for a medical procedure and offered, again, to take off work and to the appointment. She had just done it and was offering to ask off again to take little old me downtown again and wait while I have the procedure done. She will then take me back to another mutual friend’s home where I will recover for the day.

These people don’t have to do these things for me.

I do not expect it.

Yet they show me they care by stepping up and going beyond “the basics”.

I am so blessed to be around folks like this the majority of the time.

I must say when I collect my friends, I only collect the best!

Have a fabulously graceless Friday my friends!

 

Happy Birthday to My Sister from another mister!


Sometimes in this life we get lucky.

We meet a friend who is so rare that we become friends with them as children and are able to carry that friendship through the years.

We make it through puberty, marriage, kids, moves, divorce, family craziness, friends together with others and even deaths.

If we are very, very fortunate that person becomes family to us.

Today I celebrate my sister from another mister!

Since I change all names to protect the innocent and insane alike I just have to say that one is hard because I want the world to know how my sister has literally saved my life in the over 35 years we have known each other.

I will call her Peevley because yes, there is an inside joke to that, but it makes me laugh every time I type it!

Some of you may can remember the song “Our house in the middle of our street”, well those words anyway. If you can’t then just go with it!

Our houses were right across the street from each other.

We literally could and would meet in the street and go to each other’s homes.

She is two years older than me but we are both about 20 in our minds so it all works out!

We tell people we share a memory and it’s actually true.

Parts of her childhood were not pleasant, so when she took protective measures to move on with her life, she blocked out more than just the bad parts.

So she has big Swiss cheese size holes in parts of her memory and I supply the information back to her.

It can really suck having such a good memory at times, especially when you have seen things you wish you could un-see but it’s there because that “steel trap” metaphor is for real in my world.

And yes, sometimes I make up stuff to “remind” her and usually get called on it. Most of the time!

Her “biological” parents and brother are no longer in our lives.

We just say we are twins and my family claims her.

Though we look Nothing alike, we do tell folks we are twins and amazingly many people believe us.

We are about the same height, no matter what she says about being taller, but that would be where the similarities end on the looks.

I have dark hair and olive skin and she has red hair and glowy white see through skin.

You see why I question those who think we’re twins?!

Not to mention our body parts are different sizes, her waist is smaller while I will never know the joy of the junk in the trunk comments she gets!

I tan and she burns turning red with green freckles.

We know when the other one is mad or upset sometimes by just a feeling.

Example, one of us feels strange and calls the other.

First question is “What is it?” Then the other proceeds to go on rant or explain what is getting to them.

No questions of “how did you know” we just know.

I know twins who have this and close sisters but we aren’t blood related.

She isn’t the only one I am this way with.

For the most part, we have a lot of the same friends.

However, we both have friends we will ask, “Please explain again why we like that person?” but will respect each other’s choices and reasons.

We don’t need nor do we “seek approval” we merely ask for advice and automatically accept each other for who we are.

We don’t have to like the decisions, actions or words of the other but we always accept and love each other no matter what.

I can’t imagine my life without her.

She lives nearly 13 hours away now and we still talk weekly and see each other at least once a year.

She was blessed to find her happily ever after when we were young, ok I know I am younger but she still wasn’t able to legally drink when she married “the boss”!

We are a part of each other and our families are so intertwined you need an index, compass and subscriptions to Psycho Weekly and National Geographic just to keep up!

We raised her kids and now mine.

It’s freaky really that my son could be her grandchild!

Her son is the eldest of our kids at like 27. If he is any older my mind can’t think of that right now as I remember when she was pregnant with him!

Our only girl is 25ish and of course the youngest boy turns 5 this year.

See what I mean by he could be the age of a grandchild if she had one?!

And she knows I am just messing with her by writing that!

Seriously, we have talked each other down off the proverbial cliff, listened, held hands, wiped tears and puke for each other.

I truly would give her a kidney if needed.

One of our “sharable” stories from the years was when we were teens, about 15 & 17, we snuck out of her house and met her boyfriend, also my good friend, and rode around until we could meet my boyfriend.

We met back up later, snuck back into her house and thought we were so cool and had gotten away with it.

Except we grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone and everyone watched each other’s kids.

We were so busy sneaking out and then back in that we failed to note our neighbors, who had been at midnight mass, in their driveway with a direct view to the window we climbed out of.

Of course they told our parents.

They all met at the local Burger King to plot our death over coffee!

Both her and my parents had been taping our phone calls.

BUSTED.

We both got a whopping and severely grounded for several months.

We were not “allowed” to “play together” for that summer, however, when school started back up I was allowed to ride with her to school and we had to come straight home and check in!

Never once did it cross our minds to “no longer be friends”.

If anything it was one of the many things that brought us closer.

Fast forward about 20 years and her husband was deployed to a warzone as he was in the Army Reserves.

This was his second deployment and their kids were now teens.

I thought nothing of driving up to be with her and the kids over the winter break.

Just as I would have it no other way to go back 6 months later when he returned and we held a celebration for his safe return.

Being so far apart makes life so challenging when you can just drive over, sit down with your friend and share time talking face to face.

But Peevley and I can just pick up the phone and we are right where we need to be.

I have made and collected so many friends in my life, but I was lucky to find and keep my Peevley this long.

We both make the effort to keep in touch and talk whether phone, text or emails. And, of course, the occasional SnapChat!

If we go more than a week without talking, which happens due to schedules, families and living in different time zones, we get weirded out and have to call just to “hear you irritatingly lovely voice” as we like to say.

Really it’s a sanity check for us both.

Without her I know I would be lost.

So to my sister, Thank You.

Thank you for always being there for me, for believing in me and staying with me even when it was hard, and I know it was at times!

You are the Best Sister, Friend, co-conspirator and woman I am privileged to share my life with!

Happy Birthday Peevley!

I love you!

From birth to earth my steel magnolia sister!

Have a Fabulously Graceless Wednesday!

me n peevleey