Last breath


last breath

Today a last breath was taken

There were never be another breath for them on this astral plane

So many behind who feel the pain

The vastness of the empty space

Missing looks upon a loving face

A face you’ve seen so often before

Gone in a breath, not present anymore

The person that was once here

Is lost to us for the rest of our years

The grief is strong it pulls you down

Lost and broken upon the ground

The spirit tugs with all of its might

Saying to you stand up and still fight

For you it’s not over, this isn’t the end

Remember and love with family and friends

Cherish each breath for you never can know

The one that’s the last one until it’s your time to go

 

*in love and memory of all of those who have passed*

 

Life can change in an instant


life is short live it cherish love anger fear memories

In an instant it can all change. Your plans, you very life can change. All with a phone call, text or personal visit.
I may be graceless but I try to work on a schedule, which is harder now that I do freelance and work for myself. So when I schedule time for things, I reschedule other things and even tack on extra things to sometimes get yet another thing taken care of. The schedule is flexible and I juggle but I do pretty well most of the time. If something changes I can go with the flow and make arrangements to reschedule and work around the other things.
My original plans for this weekend included much overdue time needed with my girls, a bit of organization and many laughs and good friends. Since I was already going to be in the area, I also scheduled a needed doctor appointment prior to the getting together.
Then came the text I didn’t want to get. My friend’s aunt had passed. Although it was early in the week, I knew that our plans for the weekend would change. I knew she needed to be there for her family and I want her to be. She was apologizing to me for having to cancel. And asking if I would let our other friend know, she was coming in from yet another state, that she had to cancel and was sorry. This lady is quality let me tell you! Here she is with the loss of her beloved aunt, having to pack up and travel to another state and worrying about canceling plans with 2 friends. 2 friends who are immediately asking what we can do and saying not to worry, and meaning it, that of course we can re-schedule. Yes, you can call on your way there or anytime you need to talk! I feel for her and her family. It is hard enough when someone we love passes, it is also hard to coordinate your life, you job, your spouse/partner and family to be gone for several days to mourn the passing of your loved one. It takes it out of you both emotionally and physically. You deal with relatives, friends, people you haven’t seen in years or some you have never met and are meeting finally for the first time. It is bittersweet as you know it is the one you love who brought everyone together and they are no longer here
Of course we are sad we aren’t getting together and able to do the things we had “planned” to do, however certain things take precedence over “plans”.  Life Happens.
When my daddy died I was devastated. We all knew it was coming, and coming soon. We were blessed in respect to knowing that it would be quick and hopefully painless. It was fortuitous that I was there with my daddy, close family and friends when he left this plane. A part of my life was on hold while we took care of The Final Arrangements for my father. I called into work to let them know what was happening, I still took care of the boy, but was also helping my mom, uncle, brother and aunt as they were helping me. We are all trying to just get through, even with a “plan” for this event, it was not an “easy” process. I am grateful to family and friends that stepped up, either through actions or just kind words or gestures, of being there for me. My “little sister” Wucy took over packing up my home in TN before driving to AL with her wonderful fiancé for the services. She then helped the day of the funeral when our home turned into an impromptu large gathering of friends, family and business associates of my dad and family. There were so many people there that wanted to share their memory and be with others who loved and respected him. The night before the funeral it snowed. There were ice storms in the surrounding areas and there was concern we needed to move the funeral time. Fortunately, the day of the streets around us were clear enough for us to make it to the church and then to the cemetery and home safely. It was those little things that got us through, but now we were facing a different reality than the one we had previously. In an instant my mother went from married to widowed. In an instant, my brother and I no longer had a father and my uncle no longer had a brother. We knew it was coming as my dad had been fighting a brave fight against cancer for a second time. It did not make it any easier when the moment came and he wasn’t with us any longer. We were glad he was no longer suffering, but also upset that we were no longer here to share with us his love, humor and wisdom when we desperately needed it.

i dont grieve for moment of loved one

Life can change in an instant. You never know what will happen or when plans will change.
Tell you family and friends you love them and how much they mean to you every chance you get.
Always Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day.

stop n look around life amazing

 

Our other children…. For the love of Pete


petey

Often times we as humans decide to adopt a pet.

Dogs, cats, pigs, lizards, ferrets – the list can go on!

Animal companionship is shown to lower blood pressure and even prolong life.

I have seen firsthand how pet therapy affects those with Alzheimer’s and dementia, as well as with those with special needs and other medical challenges. They do wonders for the regular folks too.

About 14 years ago my good friend adopted this amazingly sweet pup on the fourth of July.

His name was Pete and we called him Pete the Sweet.

His chances of a long life were not great as he had a host of medical problems and kennel cough. However, Pete beat all of the odds and became the big brother of the family as they went on to adopt or acquire 5 other dogs.

But Petey was first.

His smiling face, soft, fuzzy body and the “harf harf” bark became the back drop for a visit.

As he aged he had problems with his hips, his vision and his hearing.

His mama loved him so much she would let him out and then if she wasn’t outside with him, would go bring him back up the stairs when he completed his business and his tour of the yard.

They talked about putting a ramp onto the porch so he could go in and out as he pleased.

Yes Pete was well loved.

I talk of him in the past tense as he finally crossed that Rainbow Bridge.

Our hearts are sad and the tears keep flowing.

The support on my friend’s Facebook page is overwhelming.

So many people loved that dog and she is a fabulous person.

I even changed my profile photo to one of the boy and Pete about 2 years ago.

To say that Pete was a family member is an understatement.

In the beginning it was Pete, then his brother Walter joined him.

Bootsy, Walter’s sister lived across the street, however she kept visiting and eventually ended up staying too.

Then Chunky and Pepper joined the party.

Supposedly there would be no more dog in their house. I mean 5 is a lot!

All well cared for house dogs and the mommy is OCD so clean was going to happen no matter what!

A few months ago, Pete got another sister in the form of Bella Bunny.

He was thrilled as he seemed to love most dogs and a few cats.

He was always barking. If someone moved, he barked to let them know to set down as he wanted to make sure all of his humans were together.

We have all said on many occasions, “Pete stop barking!”

I wish we could tell him that again.

They were fortunate the vet came to their home to deliver the “shot” to finally give him the peace he truly needed.

Everyone was home with him when he crossed over.

I have noticed more and more how people choose to do this over taking their pet somewhere.

It is so sweet to have them at home, surrounded by loved ones and familiar things, when they finally leave the planet.

Although it is hard, we know he is better off with no more pain and able to run again and bark at whatever he wants!

Selfishly I wish I could have had one more cuddle, one more lick from my buddy, but I am thankful I was just with him only a few weeks ago.

After talking with my friend I knew it was a matter of time.

It still doesn’t make it any easier.

I know when I walk into her house I will greet all the babies as I always do.

I also know the water works will start because they got Pete shortly after they moved into that house and he was one of the first to shove his way to you so he could get first loves.

It won’t be the same.

When someone we love dies we mourn that person and it takes us a while to get through it.

You never get over it but getting through it take times.

It is no different with animals who have become a part of our household.

For Pete, his humans were his mom, dad and big brother.

That was the “immediate” family.

Of course there is a host of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who are also grieving the loss of our beloved Petey.

So for all you animal lovers out there, give a hug or scratch to you babies.

You never know when it will be the last time you get to love them up.

Please do so often and with joy.

I know the tears will fall onto my pillow and I will wake up tomorrow and think I will get to see him in a few days.

Then I will remember that he has now gone on and crossed that Rainbow Bridge.

I like to think he is playing with his doggy cousins and pain free.

To my friend and her family, my heart cries with you and I know this pain.

I wish I could take it away, but I know it is part of the process of grief and you would never have it any other way.

Until we meet again, have fun chasing your friends and barking yourself horse!

I love you Sweet Pete with the Fuzzy Feet.

P.S. I urge anyone who is thinking about to adopt a dog or cat from your local shelter!

 

For Aaron


Today has been truly like a bizarre nightmare.

I woke up early to talk to my sister because we don’t get to talk often enough as she lives up in “Yankee” country and married a Yankee and has 2 half yankee, have southern kids…. well they’re not kids anymore at 25 & 26, if they’re older I don’t just no, they are still my babies too! So we chatted, partly while I was still hiding under the covers because I was going to sleep in just a little today but you never know when it could be the last time you talk to someone.

I had no idea what to do as a post. I had grabbed my List o Topics where I constantly write down ideas but I wasn’t sure as my emotions and ideas have been all over the place since earlier in the day.

My “to do” list, which I write nightly, yes with a pen and paper not keyboard to screen, had 5 things to do not at home and 4 or 5 for home including writing my blog and other articles.

So I got up, got my coffee, read a little, started doing home chores and getting ready to go out and run my errands on my to do list. “Normal” stuff. I made a few calls, did some research, pretty boring normal stuff.

Then shortly before I am out the door I receive a text from my girlfriend that one of the “kids” we raised with her and twin sister’s sons had died.

He was 17 and had just graduated barely a week ago. He was a triplet, had an older sister, parents, awesome grandparents and the world ready and waiting for him. He was genuinely a Good Kid.

But it seems that Life wasn’t meant to be.

Shock. I was definitely in shock.

There are 7 definitions for shock as a noun on dictionary.com but I’m only listing 4 as 5-7 are about regarding the pathology, electricity and the informal “shocks” as in suspension for automobiles.

  1. sudden or violent blow; collision
  2. sudden or violent disturbance or commotion – as in: “shock of battle” or in my case “shock of news”
  3. a sudden shock or violent disturbance of the mind, emotions, or sensibilities – as in “the burglary was a shock to her sense of security. The book provide shock. nothing else. In my case “the news of his death was a shock to her as she had helped nurture and care for him as a young boy.”
  4. the cause of such a disturbance – as in “the rebuke came as a shock”. For me – “News of his death came as a shock.”

I continued talking with my friend and left for my errands. I could handle this.

I passed one store on the way to the school (payments have to be made even if the boy’s on vacation) plus I could hit it on the way back. I had started crying and needed a few minutes to “collect myself”.

I made it to the school, sun glasses on and ran in and dropped off the tuition.

Back in the car, tears again. Crap. Breathe.

Made it to the health food store and chatting with the sweet girl working there, but the conversation turned weird as I blurted out “Sorry I am not quite right in my mind as one of the kids I helped raise died and I am obviously not handling this well.” Yeah awkward! I got my potassium and got out of there!

I could not go anywhere for at least 15 minutes and all I had left in that area was to drive through at the bank. No “public” oh joy! I got this one.

I still had the grocery store but I could make it, I knew I could.

Then I realized I left the list for the grocery at home so I called mom to ask her what I had said earlier, I knew I needed 4 items but was only coming up with 3. Go figure.

She was happy to help me remember for a change (haha you’re welcome mom!) but having that mother’s intuition, asked me something if I was ok and I told her about our suave little man Aaron.

Surprisingly I held it together as I told her and recounted the details I had seen in print.

That him and family and friends had gone to the beach on vacation.

How a bunch of them swam out but he got caught up in the rip tide.

How it took so many hours to find his body. His tough little body.

How I could not imagine if it were my son.

How I could even have such a selfish thought like that when I know his mommy is mourning for him as are his brothers, sister, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and more friends than a lot of kids had – both young and old.

He was such a truly special little guy.

He is gone forever.

Death is always hard no matter what the circumstances whether you knew the person who died or not. It is also hard when you hear about it and you may not be close to the person, but a family member or close friends. Or sometimes it’s when it is a situation that hits close to home for you.

For me it was a triple whammy.

I knew Aaron.

I know his family and a lot of his friends.

I now have a child the same age he was when I met him and his brothers.

So my afternoon has been kind of “spotty” as to getting things done.

I let the waves of grief come as they will for I have learned some things you can’t hold back.

There are times when you really shouldn’t try to hold it in for it can become like a cancer inside you that you don’t notice if you have “compartmentalized” your feelings for too long. I have learned this too.

So today, tonight, as soon as you see or talk to someone you care about at all, just let them know it.

Friends, lovers, family – just tell that person they mean something to you even if it’s “glad you’re still sucking in oxygen” or “I love you”. Just tell them.

You never know if you will have that chance again so make sure they know.

So Thank You to Each and Every Human who reads this post.

You are Fabulous in your own way.

You made my day by reading this.

And I really truly needed to get this out there.

AARON MILLER may you Rest In Peace. Pain is temporary, Glory lasts forever and Chicks dig scars my Little Suave Friend. We will all miss you and your sweet, funny spirit so much!

Maybe now I can pull it together enough to get a few more things done.

Keeping Hope Alive through the laughter and the tears!

Stay Fabulously Graceless My Friends!