Too much….


how much too much

Sometimes life can be just too much. Sometimes it can be a person, place or situation. I know I can be a bit much to handle at times. I mean I could be classified as a hot mess. *Ahem could be.

It is said that you are not given more than you can handle. There are so many times I want to just call bullshit on this one.

sometimes best of you and your life

Then I really think about it. Usually it’s when something was abruptly cut off. I mean I know there are times when everything isn’t right, but in my twisted mind, I try to find every solution I can think of before I just cut it off. Whether it’s work, relationships or my routes to certain locations I really think about it and how it will impact not only me, but those I love.

Sometimes things do become too much and you have to cut it off for your own sanity. This is something I can completely understand. It doesn’t matter if it’s me cutting or someone else cutting, I understand it and even if I don’t like it, can abide by it if it’s done respectfully. That means civil and without drama for me.

ST good fall aprat better together

It doesn’t mean you don’t still think about things. You don’t stop wondering “what if”, but you realize that often times things do happen for a reason, even if you don’t see the big picture just yet.

Then I think about other areas where I feel that there is just too much to do. Things I don’t know if I can handle it. At least not with my usual fabulous graceless ways. It is at this stage, that I begin looking at creative ways to handle the overabundance of responsibilities and challenges I face. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes I want to pitch a hissy fit and have a come apart. I want to scream and yell and throw things. However, I have learned that while keeping an old set of cheap dishes to break in the driveway can be exhilarating, I’m starting to get over having to clean up after. I have enough to do without adding something else. It still feels good though. But then again so does beating on the drums and playing rock-n-roll with the boy. Less mess!

So when I think, what is too much for me? I realize too much is what I make of it. I can control how I react to it and how I handle it.

Here’s looking forward to a fabulous Friday!

Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!

 

 

We all struggle, make it worth it


peace in heart

It seems I am constantly struggling.

Struggling to find more hours to work.

Struggling to find more time to clean.

Struggling to find a better job.

Struggling to be a better parent, daughter, sister, friend, and partner.

Struggling to just be at times it seems.

Just when I think I am closer to getting it right a complaint comes in.

Trying to please everyone I can’t seem to get it right.

If I take time out for this, when I will do that? If I do this and this, and a portion of that and mistakenly think I have taken care of it all somehow then someone is unhappy. I mean, everyone feels they are the most important, right? If I am supposed to service everyone else first, how am I supposed to take care of my own needs? Don’t they see if I am not whole I cannot produce to the level of their desires and needs? God forbid I say anything for knowing I will get put back in my place. Standing up for oneself is frowned upon unless it is “at the right” time for someone else.

My passion is caring for others and writing. Not lucrative passions but both can be with a bit of cultivation. Of course that takes time and again is filed under “taking too much time” for myself again by some and where would they be if things weren’t done by me? It’s a vicious cycle. One I am working hard to get out of as quickly as possible. I try to keep focus on one thing and not let something else drag me away for something that can wait.

whatever good for soul is happiness

Life isn’t always easy, it isn’t always pretty, but it is life. It’s also what you make of it.

It doesn’t matter if I am financially challenged, physically challenged and questioning my sanity, life keeps on happening. Therefore I must Keep Hope Alive. Or I will be dragged into the pits with no escape. It would be so easy sometimes to just let go, maybe to just not care. Of course I can’t do it nor will I. I care too much. My passions seep out of me. I can no more stop writing and taking care of others than I can consciously stop breathing. It would cripple me more than my body is already and that I cannot live with.

So I continue to struggle. But this time, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the hope. I feel the sunshine on my face. I will make it out. This time. And again, and again, and again. I will never give up.

Have a fabulous day and Always Keep Hope Alive!