It seems I am constantly struggling.
Struggling to find more hours to work.
Struggling to find more time to clean.
Struggling to find a better job.
Struggling to be a better parent, daughter, sister, friend, and partner.
Struggling to just be at times it seems.
Just when I think I am closer to getting it right a complaint comes in.
Trying to please everyone I can’t seem to get it right.
If I take time out for this, when I will do that? If I do this and this, and a portion of that and mistakenly think I have taken care of it all somehow then someone is unhappy. I mean, everyone feels they are the most important, right? If I am supposed to service everyone else first, how am I supposed to take care of my own needs? Don’t they see if I am not whole I cannot produce to the level of their desires and needs? God forbid I say anything for knowing I will get put back in my place. Standing up for oneself is frowned upon unless it is “at the right” time for someone else.
My passion is caring for others and writing. Not lucrative passions but both can be with a bit of cultivation. Of course that takes time and again is filed under “taking too much time” for myself again by some and where would they be if things weren’t done by me? It’s a vicious cycle. One I am working hard to get out of as quickly as possible. I try to keep focus on one thing and not let something else drag me away for something that can wait.
Life isn’t always easy, it isn’t always pretty, but it is life. It’s also what you make of it.
It doesn’t matter if I am financially challenged, physically challenged and questioning my sanity, life keeps on happening. Therefore I must Keep Hope Alive. Or I will be dragged into the pits with no escape. It would be so easy sometimes to just let go, maybe to just not care. Of course I can’t do it nor will I. I care too much. My passions seep out of me. I can no more stop writing and taking care of others than I can consciously stop breathing. It would cripple me more than my body is already and that I cannot live with.
So I continue to struggle. But this time, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the hope. I feel the sunshine on my face. I will make it out. This time. And again, and again, and again. I will never give up.
Have a fabulous day and Always Keep Hope Alive!
fabulousgracelessness 
I have that quote as a refrigerator magnet! It’s a good reminder:). When I feel the way you are feeling, I turn it all over to God/the Universe/fill in your blank here. And say, “I give. I don’t get it. Show me.” And, like clockwork, it happens. Not always on my timeframe, but it happens. Wishing that for you. Be good to yourself this week!
LikeLike
Not everyone thinks they are the most important person in your life, that you should stop everything you are doing and take care of them, they have proven that time and time again, only to get questioned or reprimanded .Those particular person would rather see you put yourself first and take care of yourself so that you may actually help the people that needed it the most. This person is on the bottom rung of your life of who you should worry about and help because they have been doing so on their own all their life. They would much rather see you take time for yourself , be happy, and healthy etc. Maybe you should rethink the people you try so hard to help and care for, make sure it they are the ones that give YOU back and much as you give them. That bottom rung in your life will be okay, and they refuse to add any more stress and worry to what you already have, so no need in worrying about them.
LikeLike