Finding old friends in the spaces of our lives


Sometime in this life if we are really lucky, we meet some of the best people.

We call them friends.

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If we are really, really lucky, we find those find in the spaces from our past.

Those people we always liked but didn’t know so well due to different groups of friends or age. Or maybe because we were really shy when we were trying to seem cool.

One of the best parts of that is finding those people as adults.

Talking and learning each other and finding out the why as to why we were drawn to them all those years ago.

We find ourselves talking for hours about not the “good old days”, but our lives now. Were we’ve been and what’s gone on in our lives since we last saw each other.

I love hearing how we’ve grown but also have that core of who we were.

I love finding those “new” friends.

Or re-connecting to those you somewhat knew, and figuring out you wish you’d talked to this person way back then more so that this incredible human could have been in your life all along.

I think the universe likes to make us wait so we still keep getting to experience that thrill of a new friendships.

For me, moving back to my home state after being a gypsy so many years I am having those experiences.

Some people are flat out crazy.

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Some are all about drama. Still. We are out of high school please move along!

Yet others are those rare gems.

Recently I spoke to a friend that I can honestly say it’s been over 20 years since we have talked.

Both of us were a bit shyer then.

However, we have both figured out who we are (still works in progress), had kids and life experiences that seems to make us more open to the right people needed in our lives.

People laugh at me when I say I collect friends.

Human are unique creatures each of whom has a different outlook and perspective on life.

I enjoy talking to people and seeing if their brand of crazy gels with mine.

I relish getting into a conversation where I don’t want to hang up the phone because I am enjoying the company so well.

Finding out how much we have in common and enjoying listening to that person’s voice.

It is truly one of those special moments I never take for granted.

No matter if our lives have been totally different or followed similar courses.

The fun is finding similarities that I find so ironic.

How we both have moved around a lot!

We are now both single parents raising our sons.

The amusement we share in so many things.

The honesty of our words.

Because let’s face it. Not everyone is honest.

People want to “put on a front” of how “great” they are and make themselves seem to be the people they want to be and not who they are.

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But this conversation?!

I felt like the scene in Jaws where everyone is comparing their scars!

I am still on that happy high of finding another like me and mine! Someone I knew but I had just “lost” through the years.

Maybe we were trying to shock each other.

Or maybe we were just testing the waters to make sure that we are really ok with being friends.

I know that for me, I feel pretty certain I have found another I won’t let go of.

Finding a friend who is honest, makes me laugh and understand other aspects of life that so many don’t is like finding a gold mine for some.

Yet it’s “just” one person.

But that person by just being my friend, has put a smile on my face and given me hope yet again.

They may never know how I feel, but I hope they know that I respect and appreciate them for being themselves.

That I will most definitely make sure I tell them!

Life is too short to judge.

Life is too short to lie.

When you feel it in your gut you know what the right thing is for you.

As for me, I am doing the happy dance I found another soul as nutty as me who’s willing to share space and have some fun.

No judgment. No expectations other than friendship.

That is a Fabulous feeling indeed!

I hope you all have a Graceless Sunday and a Fabulous week!

Keep hope alive my friends!

Breaking up is hard to do…


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When you’re in a relationship for a long period of time and you realize that it can’t continue the way it has been going, it can be hard to address the issues with the person you love.

Or maybe you aren’t in love with them anymore but you do love them and you don’t want to hurt them.

Or maybe it is a friendship or business relationship and it is time to end it.

Either way addressing your feelings can be hard because, if you are like me, you don’t want to hurt the other person.

Unless of course they have hurt you and then you’re trying to get back at them, and that becomes a vicious cycle that I can go on and on about but that isn’t where I am going today!

It can be hard to talk to someone who doesn’t acknowledge the problems you’re having, or worse to acknowledges certain parts, but brushes it off with either empty promises to actually do something about it or pretend it isn’t as big of an issue as it is.

That’s when things become frustrating, and could turn to “well you’ve done this to me I will get back at you this way.”

That is an easy way out in my humble opinion.

Also not very mature.

What is harder is trying, sometimes repeatedly, to address the problems and getting brushed off, lied to or shut down.

I recently had to break up with my son’s daycare, then after talking to them realized I may not want to do that. So now I am in research mode to see what the best option is for him.

I love his currently daycare but thought the other school would be better. Digging deeper I have found they aren’t all they said they were and now I am trying to do what is best for him.

A breakup is very much like that.

You try to do the best for all involved yet you know someone will be hurt no matter what you do.

You try and try and talk and talk.

But in conclusion you know it’s time to end it in some way.

You never know, maybe one day you will be able to be in each other’s life again.

Or maybe you never want to see that person again.

Personally I have been through both business and personal breakups.

Friends or lovers it doesn’t matter, it does hurt.

I have been called cold and uncaring.

Sometimes you have to shut yourself down so you don’t hurt even more than you have been. And I don’t want that person to see how hurt I am. How I allowed myself to hurt that much.

People don’t realize how deeply their words can cut.

They don’t realize that you may can take something 527 times but the 528th time you can’t do it anymore.

They often don’t realize that their actions affect more than just the two of you.

“Sorry” no longer will work when the actions happen over and over again, like a hamster in a wheel.

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And just because you broke up with someone doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. At least not for me.

I do know some people that are like that and that is great.

I am just not wired that way.

So when they say, “breaking up is hard to do” I have to agree.

Especially when you care.

So if you have to end a relationship know it isn’t easy on either of you.

Try to give the person some credit for respecting how you feel and take into consideration what you have contributed to the demise of this situation. You may have no fault. Or you may be the reason.

But be honest. Not matter what just be honest.

Have a fabulous Wednesday my friends!