Things that matter to me


Things that really matter to me

My son

My family… well most of them, some of them are quite crazy

My friends who are always there no matter what

My boyfriend and his awesome son

My job because I love taking care of others even when it makes me crazy

My health so I can do all the things I need to do, not just what I want to do

Having a roof over the boy’s head

Making sure the boy is cared for and knows that he is LOVED

Making sure those I love Know that I love them for who they are, not what they can do for me

Writing… I always knew and writing my blog confirmed for me it is something that makes me feel whole

Being kind to others, because sometimes you may be the only person who is nice to someone and it can make a difference

Having food to fuel my body and soul

Always having hope because hope leads to happiness which leads to love which gives you the ability to get through the storms in life knowing that you have hope, you’ll find happiness and life is so much better with love

Keep hope alive

Look into the mirror and judge


I wonder why you can’t see your flaws.

You can see mine and everyone else’s.

You can judge and whip up words to try and cut.

You forget others are not ignorant and not everyone has to do as you say because you believe you are in the right.

You think your material items are the way to happiness. I admit it is fun to have nice things, but there is a reality called overkill, too much or you’re just a narcissist and believe you are better than others.

Many of us can find happiness in the little things and the intangible. It seems that works better in the long term for your soul.

One of those things that concern me is how you say you are so empathetic and you feel so deeply for people, yet you can judge others without fully knowing them. You can look at a woman and deem her not worthy because you feel she doesn’t have the right look, breeding or that she can’t be “trained” to “bend” to how you think she should be.

When she changes for herself, not realizing the change isn’t fully refined in all areas and as she is working out the kinks, you insult her and judge her as you stomp on her heart and walk away.

She won’t come after you.

Why would she beg you to not go and to be treated so subserviently by someone who clearly does not know where they are going in their own life?

You are so miserable you feel the need to drag her down with you.

You don’t see the need for change in yourself yet may admit to some “issues”. Yet you don’t see you as the “issue” at all because you’re above that.

Why does it even matter when you walked away from her?

Why do you care about her now when you stopped caring so long ago?

Why do you care what people think about you when you judge them to begin with?

Maybe you need a long look into the mirror.

Maybe you need to face the judge.

Be a better me, be a better friend…. just BEing better


friendship muhammad ali

In trying to be a better human being I have been working on me. How I react to situations, how I try to stop my mind and listen to another person, how I come across, how to have more patience and be more compassionate, how I work like hell to control my facial expressions and responses… barely over half-way into the first of 12 months and I will say some things are going fabulously well. Using my focus word/s – creative and creativity – I am viewing life from different perspectives and handling things better. In other areas I completely suck. I won’t go so far as to say complete failure but there are a few things I have let slip by that I should have already gotten done.

So here’s a newsflash, Fabulous Gracelessness is not always so fabulous. I am human and I am flawed.

Fortunately for me, so is pretty much everyone else I know. No one is immune to being flawed. No one is “perfect”. It takes some of the stress off of me, yet I still aim to be better. But definitely Not perfect.

Nope, I can’t hit that note nor am I even gonna try!

I have found those people I connect with are those people who get me and accept me for who I am. Fabulously, flaky faults and all.

The reason this works is because I accept them too.

friend weird yep i like this one

It’s a two-way street.

Let’s not get things twisted, we all have irritations and things that may or may not drive the other crazy, but it’s those very things we chose to accept about the other person. It’s saying I accept this about you and I will not hold it against you. I know you don’t do this and I don’t like that but we accept each other and respect each other. For all of the things we have in common, the differences that complement each other and the things that we don’t have to agree with but the person means more than this flaw. It isn’t a “deal-breaker”.

That level of trust and friendship. The partnerships with other human beings. That is hands down one of the coolest things about this life experience is those we share this journey with and how those relationship play out.

I have people in my life that have known me since birth and those first 10 years on the planet, to junior high and high school friends, my 20’s, 30’s and I keep finding friends. It’s just how I am. I collect people but not in the body-in-the-freezer kind of way.

frienships never change

I am fortunate in those relationships that have withstood time and situations just as I am blessed to have those new or reconnected folks in my world.

One of the things I am doing is making sure I get to get in touch and actually see some of these amazing people, my people. There are some that I don’t get to see due to distance or psycho schedules, but that I can at least talk to more on the phone.

See, it’s because I never lose hope. Keep Hope Alive. It’s my motto and it is such a part of me and who I am.

keep hope alive keeps you alive

Each day I get a little better. Each day I find my own flaws. Each day I am happy to be alive.

Have a fabulous day!

 

Commitments & Lady Maos


It seems lately I have been going along, trying to do the right things, keep up with responsibilities and always keep hope alive.

It isn’t always easy. It seems there are people who would rather cut you down and hurt you than just walk away.

Walking away isn’t easy nor is it for the faint of heart.

Oftentimes it is not easy to just walk away, especially if one has obligations they committed to in addition to doing what is best for all involved.

When I make a commitment I do my damnedest to stick to it.

I know I have let people down; I am so far from perfect I don’t even pretend to be in that category.

I have failed at relationships. I have also learned valuable lessons and been introduced to worlds and ideas I never knew existed.

I don’t nor could I discount something so easily when it was more than that.

I still work to be communicative and open even when things are ending because chances are good that we not only shared a relationship, but also other responsibilities together.

For anyone, whether it’s a child, home, furniture, CD/s, books, vehicles or any other random obligation, once you end a relationship with someone, you should finalize and complete your commitments.

I realize this can be hard.

It can be harder to do when feelings are hurt and one only wants to hurt another to make them feel the pain they are feeling.

Sadly, this is something I have witnessed and have had done to me.

Again, I never said I was perfect, but I do always work to honor those other factors that were put in place, in the “no matter what” category, to make sure no one else is responsible for something I said I would do. If I can’t make it happen, I am the one letting them know why and what I can do to try and make it better.

I have been told I am brutally and painfully honest at times.

I bite my tongue so often that the pain of it reminds me how much I can hurt others with not only my words but my actions or inactions.

Oftentimes my inactions are due to the very fact that if I did take action and spoke my mind I fear the repercussions would be far, far worse than not saying anything at all.

I have seen the dark side of humanity. I understand it and have a healthy fear of it.

Words and promises can be said a million times over but actions speak louder than words. “I’m sorry.” “I promise.” Words with power behind them to Mean something but overused and excused so often it becomes the patent response to shut one up.

When you’ve said or written something of importance and the response is “OK” sends me over the edge. Really? I tell you something important or how I feel and all you can muster up in that big brain of yours is “OK’?!

“OK” is fine for short texts when you’re planning dinner, meeting up, finalizing plans, etc. However, “Ok” when everyone knows more than one word is needed in the reply… even a “will talk more later” means worlds. “Ok” to me, means you don’t really care enough to respond. But you said you did.

I am so very fortunate and blessed to have so many amazing humans in my life that “get me”. That it seems no matter what happens they are there for me. Whether they be family, friends, past or new, I know that these people are There for me. In their own ways and as much as they can be.

I know that they accept me flaws and all.

Because they have proved to me time after time they are committed to our relationship.

They have flaws too. Every one of them. And will admit it, although not publically some of them and I don’t blame them.

After all, this is my blog. My thoughts. MY putting it out there into the world.

And I do it cautiously but also with a wild abandon glee that is like swinging high on the swings at the park when you’re a kid. That feeling of flying and not knowing what’s going to happen next but you pump your legs higher and you keep going because you know deep down this is what you love to do.

Writing is like that for me.

And those who know me, and the ones getting to know me seem to keep coming back and giving me constructive criticism and praise and I can’t tell you what it means to me.

Because it’s a commitment you see. A commitment to share my life, one day at a time my writing this “blog”. A commitment I made to myself and no one else.

I am growing more and more and hopefully becoming a better human being by doing this.

I don’t write the answers to the world’s problems, or even things that fit everyone. Each day is different. Each day is new. Each article is another part of me that I let out into the world.

Some days I have verbal diarrhea, haha like maybe today, and I write/vent/ramble more.

Other days I find humorous things, or interesting things or sometimes it is something I feel compelled to write. My writing may be lengthy with “not enough” videos, photos or whatever. It may be shorter articles with crazy photos and sayings I find on the internet, or better yet, real life photos from my world.

A very close friend, I will call them Captain Pogo, called me Lady Maos.

I laughed so hard I snorted! Since I love the word maos, chaos and mayhem, and use it as often as possible, being called Lady Maos made my day.

It also made me realize it’s so much a part of me just like being fabulously graceless is that I will be using it in my writings.

I know y’all are just thrilled!

So I will wrap up this long winded Wednesday thought provoking, insightful post by telling you all to Keep Hope Alive my Fabulously Graceless Friends!

I could not do this without the support of my loved ones and those of you who are seemly to become like family through the wonderful writings and musings of the world wide web!

Love and happiness to all!

Stay Fabulous!

Lady Maos aka Fabulous Gracelessness!

lady maoe

 

Breaking up is hard to do…


IMG_4219

When you’re in a relationship for a long period of time and you realize that it can’t continue the way it has been going, it can be hard to address the issues with the person you love.

Or maybe you aren’t in love with them anymore but you do love them and you don’t want to hurt them.

Or maybe it is a friendship or business relationship and it is time to end it.

Either way addressing your feelings can be hard because, if you are like me, you don’t want to hurt the other person.

Unless of course they have hurt you and then you’re trying to get back at them, and that becomes a vicious cycle that I can go on and on about but that isn’t where I am going today!

It can be hard to talk to someone who doesn’t acknowledge the problems you’re having, or worse to acknowledges certain parts, but brushes it off with either empty promises to actually do something about it or pretend it isn’t as big of an issue as it is.

That’s when things become frustrating, and could turn to “well you’ve done this to me I will get back at you this way.”

That is an easy way out in my humble opinion.

Also not very mature.

What is harder is trying, sometimes repeatedly, to address the problems and getting brushed off, lied to or shut down.

I recently had to break up with my son’s daycare, then after talking to them realized I may not want to do that. So now I am in research mode to see what the best option is for him.

I love his currently daycare but thought the other school would be better. Digging deeper I have found they aren’t all they said they were and now I am trying to do what is best for him.

A breakup is very much like that.

You try to do the best for all involved yet you know someone will be hurt no matter what you do.

You try and try and talk and talk.

But in conclusion you know it’s time to end it in some way.

You never know, maybe one day you will be able to be in each other’s life again.

Or maybe you never want to see that person again.

Personally I have been through both business and personal breakups.

Friends or lovers it doesn’t matter, it does hurt.

I have been called cold and uncaring.

Sometimes you have to shut yourself down so you don’t hurt even more than you have been. And I don’t want that person to see how hurt I am. How I allowed myself to hurt that much.

People don’t realize how deeply their words can cut.

They don’t realize that you may can take something 527 times but the 528th time you can’t do it anymore.

They often don’t realize that their actions affect more than just the two of you.

“Sorry” no longer will work when the actions happen over and over again, like a hamster in a wheel.

saying sorry

And just because you broke up with someone doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. At least not for me.

I do know some people that are like that and that is great.

I am just not wired that way.

So when they say, “breaking up is hard to do” I have to agree.

Especially when you care.

So if you have to end a relationship know it isn’t easy on either of you.

Try to give the person some credit for respecting how you feel and take into consideration what you have contributed to the demise of this situation. You may have no fault. Or you may be the reason.

But be honest. Not matter what just be honest.

Have a fabulous Wednesday my friends!

The “soul mate” predictor


There is a new “quiz” out on the Face book that’s called “who is your true soul mate?”.

You’ve no idea how much this amuses me, because if it were true it could help a lot of folks out!

However since it is by http://www.Captainquizz.com I am so sure it’s legit! *Can ya feel the sarcasm drip here?!

I had seen it but don’t do a lot of those “quizzes”, although sometime I admit that I do it just for fun.

I really wasn’t into it but was amused to see my friends enjoying doing it, and who it said their soul mate was. I admit a few friends and their mates were shown as soul mates when both of them did theirs. Kind of impressive when you think of how it matches you to your Facebook friends list!

Some friends were amused to note that their “soul mates” were, as in real life, a true, stand by you through anything friend.

Apparently, I am my sister from another mister’s soul mate! She took the test three times so it must be real!

I laughed so hard I wet myself! Just a little.

We have been in each others lives for over 35 years, since we were kids. Literally.

We went through growing up, puberty, those heinous teen years, after graduations, marriage, kids, moving far way, long distance trips, marriage, kid, divorce, death – you get the picture we are from birth to earth Steel Magnolias.

So yes I was Very amused and entertained by this.

Of course we’re soul mates! We didn’t need a dumb quiz to tell us that!

We’ve been through more madness than I will ever tell but always come out of it together!

Soul mate predictor. Ha!

Ok, I will admit I was intrigued to see if she was my soul mate so I took the quiz. Twice.

The first person was one of my moms best friends and though I love her dearly and all I just don’t see it.

Amused by it all I tried again.

This time I got said friends daughter!

I was laughing so hard I spit out my tea!

I thought it would give me the same answer but no, apparently when I take the test I have more than one soul mate.

And you know something?

I realized we do have more than one soul mate on this journey of life if we are truly lucky. Or blessed, however you see fit to look at it.

We define “soul mate” in loose terms to mean the person we are meant to spend our life with as in being a “couple”.

I know I hadn’t really thought about all of the people who are friends and family that I have “clicked” with instantly and jump straight up into their crazy and them to mine and haven’t looked back since as a “soul mate”.

It actually makes sense to me in my twisted, strange mind.

Some of these people I have known all of my life, others I have known anywhere from a few months to years (a lot of those in the 10 plus year category).

I am a collector of people, friends, if you will.

And not in a body part in the freezer kind of way, but in the relationship kind of way!

I have friends from all walks of life, all backgrounds, colors, religions and each one of them views the world from a different perspective. Each one of them near and dear to me in very different ways.

Some of them would never get along but for some of us, we tend to clump together.

No one is jealous of time spent with the others because we are secure in our relationships and where we are on this wild and insane journey together.

So if this Face book “Soul Mate” predictor can’t tell me who my soul mate is, I am sure I will be ok because I already know.

I’m fortunate to have so many I can call my soul mates on this fabulous life experience!

Have a fabulously graceless Friday! I Know I will!