I see, I feel, I find


I see beauty in the everyday things

My son’s sleepy smile

The purple sky photo

The rocks in the yard

The flowers starting to bud

The sun streaming through the window

Her laughter through the maos

The smile on his face

I feel love in the little things

A touch

A smile

A tear

I find myself in these things in life

 

Life, hope and reality through the eyes of a child


eyes of child JOY use

I want to share how life looks through my boy’s eyes.

The eyes and opinions of a child are so true and pure.

They are little sponges and are for the most part, naïve and honest. Much more so than we are. They say what they’re thinking as they are thinking it. I am working with the boy on discretion.

He enjoys people watching. This past summer at the beach, if a girl in a 2 piece walked by, my boy was checking her out. Smiling goofily and almost drooling. I was telling him how to look without staring. He now understands sun glasses now and how well you can look at people but they can’t see your eyes. He prefers to all out look at them. He is also not judgmental, if they had their belly showing, he was grinning no matter what sized body they had.

I am working with him on that filter from brain to mouth. It is proving to be a bit more challenging. Also he is getting more curious about life and how things work. Exciting and scary at the same time. Kind of like his questions and statements, sometimes exciting other times his phrasing or learning can lead to awkwardness, embarrassment or frustration. Sometimes I just don’t have the right answers but I try.

“Mommy your belly is so big, is there a baby in there?” No kid, you’re the only one. My miracle but when you ask me that in front of others, I understand, for an instant, why certain species eat their young.

“Why is that man screaming at that lady,” on seeing a man yelling at a woman in a parking lot. I knew that is was a domestic violent situation, saw the approaching police and could move the vehicle forward, away from the ugly truth of life. I give him snippets, “Sometimes adults yell and scream at each other and it isn’t right to be doing that to someone, much less in public.” His response, “There must be something wrong with him to act like that. I’m 5 now and I know I shouldn’t scream at people mommy.” Oh my sweet angel, if only we all knew that and if we acted on it, apologized genuinely like you do.

“Mommy we are all different colors, but we are all alike. I don’t understand the big deal.” “What do you mean?” “Well I am white with blonde hair and blue eyes. You are light brown with green/brown eyes and black hair, and I have friends with brown skin and black hair. But we are all peoples. So what’s the big deal when people act all mean and weird?” “You know what buddy, we are all equal. No matter what our skin color or where we are from. Sometimes people want to think they are better than other people.” “Like smarter?” “Well yes smarter or more important, that their life is better than the other person’s life.” “Well that’s dumb. We are all people, we all pee and poop. We all get smelly. We all laugh. Sometimes people can’t see or don’t have arms or legs or look different but we are all people. There must be something wrong with some people.” Oh my child you have no idea.

“You know I wish we could visit heaven and cross that rainbow bridge. Seems like we need to find a way to do that. We have all these puters and smart people and space. How come we haven’t find a way to visit? I want to see Pops and Jethro again. Maybe when I grow up and become a superhero, I can find a way to do that.” That one brought tears to my eyes. It still does.

children are happy no file of wrong

Many cultures believe that children are more in touch with their past lives, the spirit world and universal truths. That we are born with an ability to trust and believe in others and are more empathetic. They also see things that once you begin growing older, the majority begin to lose the ability to see beyond this world. As they age, they begin to lose that naivety and become more jaded. Many times it is due to their environment and their beliefs their parents, families and guardians feel.

There are many children that will still see and feel these things not only as youth, but as they grow older. They remain empathetic and compassionate. This does not necessarily mean that they are “strange” or not like “normal” kids. Many of them learn who they can talk to and who they can’t. Sometimes their families help them along and others find like people and information that help them along their journey.

We often discount children and their fantastical tales, their songs, their opinions. After all, how much life experience do they have?

I know I have heard the boy and several other children talk about “their life before this one.” I have also talked to some of those kids who only vaguely remember talking about it as the memories have faded. Things that he has said make me pause and think about things.

Who’s to say he didn’t have another life before this one? He talks about before he was borned (his word, we’re learning) when he was in heaven waiting for a new family. He says he remembers being told he would get a “good” mommy this time who loved him more than anything and would listen to all the things he had to say and not make fun of him for singing, dancing, making up stories and remembering things from his “other” life. Whoever told him that was spot on.

So do I think he has a bit of life experience? Yes. Does that mean I am going to allow him to do something beyond his years, like a drive a car, at 6 years old? That would be a big NO! Well, not unless he shows some mad learning skills along with better focus in the next 10 months! Ha, who am I kidding?! Absolutely not letting the boy drive anything other than go carts and bicycles for quite a while!

In the words of my boy, “Be nice to everybody, even if they are mean to you. Then just look at those people and smile and say “too bad” and walk away. They aren’t worth your time. We only want fun people on our ride!”

wisdom of ages eyes of child

As for me, I am keeping hope alive!

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

Truth


Truth can hurt. It can be painful and cutting.

Relationships can be destroyed and friendships lost.

It can also be freeing. It can give you that exhale you’ve been waiting on for far too long.

People don’t always tell the truth. Sometimes they have different version of the truth. Nicer, cleaner. Not so dirty and hateful.

Some don’t want to recall their actions and deeds that hurt the ones they claimed to love.

Others take full responsibility of their faults and mistakes.

I have been called brutally honest.

That is painful in ways but also very true.

I know I don’t always want to see or accept the truth.

I know that I could never ignore it no matter how hard it may be to face.

For the old saying, the truth shall set you free, is so very true.

As is the truth can destroy.

The balancing act of truth telling is as fragile as a flower.

Now go have a fabulous day and ponder the truth of happiness!

Hiding Out


 kid behind tree

I see you there.

Hiding out.

Hiding from me.

From everyone.

Right out in plain sight you stand.

Trying so hard to pretend you aren’t there.

Trying to pretend that your illness doesn’t exist.

Doesn’t show.

You talk and act as though nothing is wrong.

You’re the life of the party.

The one who’s always “helping” out.

Your stories are filled with all You do and Your life.

How You are Always the one “everyone” turns to.

Your adventures.

It’s always about you.

Yet you hide out when things get tough.

You hide from the confrontation.

You hide from the truth of what has taken over you.

You hide.

kitty hiding

You think that I do not see but I do.

You can keep on hiding out.

I will keep on knowing.

Because I promise you.

You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.

I just hope you will get the help you need.

I hope you will find the way to your happiness.

Hiding out is no way to exist.

So just try to make an effort to find your way back to health.

Find your way back to happiness.

Find your way back to you.

stop hiding

 

Do what you say or tell me why you can’t


One of my all time pet peeves is people telling me they will do something and then not delivering.

It makes me crazy. Well crazier.

I know I am guilty at times of missing a deadline or forgetting to call someone back, however if I tell you, for example, I will come by at 10:00 AM you better believe I will be there and if I can’t I will let you know I can’t and why and reschedule.

I have been waiting over a week for this dude to come by the house and give me a quote to clean out the gutters.

He was referred by a friend who spoke so highly of him that the first time he “missed” our appointment I thought maybe he got tied up.

So I waited for a call back. Nothing.

Then I left him a message. Still nothing.

I called again and left another message. Nothing.

Yesterday I got him on the phone and he apologized and gave me a sob story and of course I felt bad for him and we rescheduled for 10:00 AM this morning.

Guess what? No show and no call.

This is where I say I am Done with this one!

I have another person I can call but always feel obligated to the person I originally talked to. That is over an hour later.

No I won’t call him and remind him, again, that he apologized and promised me he would be here. He didn’t call me to say, “Hey I can’t make it I am sorry when is a good time.”

I scheduled my day around him being here and have things to do myself.

Just this morning I was given the number of someone that needs some work done and I called them within 20 minutes of getting their information. They were in  bad cell area and asked me to call them back in an hour. I will definitely call back because I said that I would.

I have friends who say they are going to call and forget to call me back.

Heck I do it too.

But that is a friend and not a business.

And if we have plans and one of us forgets or gets busy it isn’t like we aren’t going to be friends anymore.

Unless it’s one of those people you’re just being nice to because another friend suggested you would get along and have “so much” in common. Then I become the “Excuse Queen” of why I can never seem to find time in my “busy” schedule! Hey, at least I am Honest!

Don’t tell me you will ‘handle it” and then I find out later you didn’t “handle it” and said situation is now much worse and I am having to handle it because you can’t seem to recall your promises!

What’s worse is if this person habitually lies to you and tells you they will do something, either for you or someone else, and never does it. When confronted they often keep lying and say “Oh I did it I don’t know why it was said it wasn’t done.” No. Just no.

You will be put on the “do not trust” list faster than my kid on a sugar high!

I understand that everyone tells “little white lies” or “fib bits” and certain circumstances do call for it.

I tell my boy “sorry they don’t make batteries for that toy anymore” on those irritating cheap toys you want to smash upon said child receiving it because it makes a sound you are sure wild animals will come out of hiding to make it stop!

Or that a store is already closed so I don’t have to have him ask me 10,000 times for that Power Ranger toy that I told him would have to be a birthday or Christmas gift because it costs $80 and I don’t drop that kind of money on my kid “just for fun” because I can’t and even if I could I wouldn’t as I don’t want him to think he can have anything he wants whenever he wants it! He gets to hold his yogurt, cheeses and other random food products at the grocery and considers that a treat!

I worked for years, and still do on occasion, with patients who have Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. Telling them “oh that person will visit later” is much easier than reminding them said person passed away 10 years ago and watching them go through the grieving phase all over again. Because honestly, the chances are good they will not remember later, which is sad, but at the same time you are giving them hope and redirecting them to do something else other than focus on the something you can’t give them. No one can.

So please just either tell me you can’t do something, you forgot, but don’t lie to me because I can promise you I won’t forget it. I will lose my faith and trust in you and that is a hard thing to recover.

I’m a pretty laid back person and if you have a good reason, even if it’s kind of kooky, I will look the other way and give you another chance to prove yourself. But after so many times I am done. Really done.

Someone that runs a “business” in this manner is only making it worse because customers do talk, word of mouth is powerful and bad press is not “good” in this instance.

So be honest with folks.

Even if it is not what they want to hear.

I guarantee they would rather hear the truth that a boatload full of lies!

Stay fabulous my friends!