Barely closer to the weekend and closer to my one year mark


One day closer into the week by a gnat’s hair.

I am also on the downward slide of writing daily for an entire year.

365 days in a row.

I’ve written more than once a day at times, but I made a promise to myself I would write daily. So far, I have stuck to it. It is not easy, but then I never thought I would be able to start a blog, much less be able to put something out daily. I know some days have really sucked content wise but other days, I feel like I put my all into it. It has been hard but it has been worth it!

I have learned more about myself and how people close to you react when you write publicly. That has been worth writing about for both recent and future content!

I have had some people that have stayed with me and others who are no longer in my life. I have lost friends and family in this past year. I have loved and lost and loved again. I am in love now and it is a beautiful thing.

Life has happened.

Life keeps happening.

So on this beautiful Tuesday, I wish you all Hope for a fabulous day!

Always Keep Hope Alive!

You never know what’s going to happen next… Live!

 

Like the waves, Tuesday crashes in


It seems like Tuesday is just crashing in behind Monday. The waves non-stop. Forget calm waters it seems it’s like a storm.

Must be time for the storms of life to do another cleansing. I do love a good cleansing.

Cleansings are good for the soul.

Maybe that’s what I need right now.

I know I am not alone in that need. Life moves so fast that I am often surprised when what I have been needing or searching for actually appears. I am so fortunate to realize the moments and recognize that this is the moment that I was looking for, the one my soul craved.

It’s funny how when you are working to make things better and you get all up into looking for it sometimes you don’t see it beginning because you are so into looking.

Maybe, just maybe, it just happens and you need to slow down and enjoy life. When you least expect it to, it happens.

Meanwhile, the waves crash into the next day just like they did yesterday. Maybe I can catch just one.

Tuesday after Springing forward


ahh tuesday do what i forgot mon

Waking up to the second day of the work week after the springing forward is always a challenge.

Life seems to come at you with full force, adding a few new surprises as a bit of a bang for your buck.

I work to find my happy place. Sleep, wildflowers, music and laughter. Playing and hugs.

Then the phone rings and I am slapped back into this reality.

But it lingers there, my happy place.

I know that I will make it through the day as I am a survivor.

I keep hope alive.

Lately I also ingest a lot of caffeine. It’s worth it to get things done.

Plus it’s the day to do all those extra bangs from yesterday and put the others in the tomorrow pile… you never know Ed McMahon could show up at my door! If he’s still around! Or in ghost form, whichever! Just bring me the check!

Have a fabulous day!

I think a George Carlin Tuesday is needed


One day down people! We have now made it to Tuesday! We should have some sort of celebration! Not the middle of the week yet, but Monday is now behind us.

I can hear George Carlin in my head, “Holy Shit it’s only Tuesday!” I miss George. My kid has shoes with lights in them… I remember when those shoes were the “new thing” and his whole rant about them! Golly if he were alive today would he have a field day with everything going on in the world! I would be in hysterics laughing as I truly loved that man and could totally relate with his assessment of life. I remember seeing him live at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. It was Fabulous!

There is so much madness and things beyond maos in this world. Listening to George’s views on life and how people were screwing up, politicians, celebrities and the common man, no one can beat his spot on humor and brutal honesty. I really do miss him!

Especially after the wild Monday I had. I mean it wasn’t “horrid”, however I was on the phone all day and I would seriously rather see a female doctor for hours than be on the phone all day. I know weird, a woman who doesn’t like to be on the phone all day! It’s so bad when I leave work, I have absolutely no desire to call anyone. And there are people I really do want to talk to! I just find myself giving the phone the stink eye when it isn’t the fault of the phone. Kind of a “don’t kill the messenger” situation. *shudders*

I am grateful I have a job, really I am. I just get tired of being on the phone! I was on call all weekend and it’s like on Monday once that’s over, I want to throw any phone, far, far away from me! I look at is as at least it isn’t as bad as several years back I daily weighed the pros and cons of tossing my phone onto the interstate while driving! Those hate them but need them devices!

I think I will go watch some George today. I need a good laugh and a reminder to open my eyes, find the humor and get through it with laughter and creatively!

I hope you all have a wonderful day and never forget:

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

 

 

 

Bring it on Tuesday


It seems to me that Tuesday just trickles in every week. Coming in behind Monday Tuesday’s for me feel like a day when I can sort of catch my breath and gather myself for the upcoming week. I have such grand plans for Tuesday and sometimes they work, other times they are still on the to-do list on Wednesday but then it’s later in the week if not the following before I can get to them again. Such a vicious cycle I know. Not healthy!

I set out tasks to do: cleaning, house management, organizing and writing are all on the main list every week. I am getting better at managing my time and getting things done, however I can’t seem to get everything done I need to get done. Especially this week with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s on Saturday! No I can’t flow slowly into Tuesday and trickle in and just cruise today. I have to jump into this day with both feet and a gallon of caffeine. Or two. Plus there are always deadlines. Of course there are deadlines. Deadlines are life’s way of keeping things entertaining. Schedules and deadlines. Or so it seems at times.

I get all keyed up on Sunday nights over Monday. On Monday night I am keyed up over Tuesday and on Tuesday nights… you get the drift. I think I have a problem. Or two or ten. Maybe.

So I take you on Tuesday. Bring it baby!

My mantra is Keep Hope Alive and I am doing it.

Even if I feel like crawling back into the bed after I get the boy off to school being his “it’s going to be a great day cheerleader”. No matter what I am always there for him cheering him on and trying to do my best to make sure he knows how much he is loved and how he can make the world a bit better. I try. I really do. When he puts his arms around me and kisses me and hugs me and tells me how much he loves me everything I do is all worth it.

Carpe diem!

Keep Hope Alive and Stay Fabulous!

Beginning the jigsaw of who I am


I am trying really, really hard to not censor myself in my writings. To be totally and brutally honest the fabulously graceless human that I am. To show the human side of life through my blogs. A jigsaw puzzle of who I am.

In my writings, as in my life, there are bits and pieces of me. Some are as a daughter, sister, mother, friend, niece, aunt, co-worker, volunteer, writer, lover, stranger, fighter for others, animal lover… so many different parts yet all part of a whole human. Many have seen all aspects, others only portions. And then there are those that can only speculate about who I am based on small portions of “data”. Through so many threads I am consistent in being who I am no matter the circumstances. It isn’t as hard as it once was. Maybe it’s age or becoming a parent but I seem to be seen consistently by people more now that I was in the past.

The “mask” of being polite and civil slips more. Oftentimes I no longer even think to put it on.

Why not let people see me for who I truly am? Why not be me?

Brad Paisley has a song “So much cooler online” or something similar. I get it sort of. I understand and relate to role playing, but becoming someone I am not or acting as if I am someone I am not doesn’t work for me.

My passions are my child, family, friends, writings, taking care of others, the outdoors, reading, knitting, listening to music, enjoying the silence, gazing at the stars, watching movies… I can list the “norm” with the rest of the folks. I also love the human psyche, nearly all things medical (either from personal experience or learning about things through others), horror movies, those considered “psycho” (Ted Bundy, Charles Manson and the like), cleaning and organizing… things a bit odder but still acceptable to a degree.

When I was younger I was considered a “rebel”. I was friends with everyone, no matter their skin color, their choice in who they dated or their social/financial status. I was taught people are people. Everyone poops. Just because you have a gold toilet or someone to wipe your butt doesn’t mean you are better than anyone else.

Part of my “rebel” status came because of that. Another part was I pushed the boundaries. I stayed up late, snuck out and did a few things that made my parents cringe including wearing my hair purple for many years.

It’s taken life and therapy to realize that I wasn’t really a rebel but just another human trying to find their place in this world. To be accepted and loved for who I am no matter what. Not for good grades, how I dress, talk, go to church, eat or how much money I have. It amazes me now how certain things play into whether you are considered a “good and/or productive” person you are. How in 2015 people still judge you on who your friends are, how much your income is and your zip code along with several other factors. I still don’t “GET” why that should matter if the person is quality and would give the shirt off their back to help others. If the person being judged doesn’t have a “job” that is considered “acceptable” yet they volunteer with seniors, children and/or animals on a regular basis but they are judged “not worthy” because of the beat up car they drive and their second hand clothes.

I personally love those moments where someone is judging someone, a stranger, (this is an actual conversation I had with a stranger) regarding their wardrobe choice, a bit threadbare but not inappropriate. The stranger says to me, “Would you look at her? She looks like she stole that outfit at a thrift store! Who could wear some stranger’s clothing?! Look at you in your nice skirt and top, you seem like a respectful young woman.” To which I replied, “It looks well worn, she may not be able to afford new clothes. You like my outfit? Thanks so much I got it at the thrift store last week on discount…$7 for the whole outfit barely worn! Of course I washed it and being a single mom and all I have to cut corners when I can! But then I thrifted before my child was born and they grow so fast!” She was backing away pretty quickly from me by this point. “You mean you are judging someone based on their clothing and we are in Target?! I usually come in here in my comfy clothes but I just got off work. It must be nice to be able to have the time to dress up every time you go out!” By this time a crowd had gathered and the lady was beet red. She stammered. “No! I wasn’t judging I just mean it I wouldn’t wear it out it doesn’t work for me. And your outfit is lovely. I have to go!” And she ran away! Be careful who you “confide” in when bashing others. I won’t go there with you. Even if they are drunk, wearing a prom dress and tiara, I would most likely say, “Girl you rock that dress we all know you can’t get many uses out of one and even on discount they ain’t cheap!” Why not pick someone up instead of tearing them down?

Like with friendships or relationships. You come to a point where you realize that you and someone are no longer compatible. You no longer can tolerate the same old jokes, same old problems and same old general bitchiness so you work to find a way to remove the negativity from your life. You hope for the best, that somewhere down the road they will find their sanity and their humanity again, but for now, you can’t be around them all the time anymore. Or maybe you can’t be around them at all. That usually hurts the most. I had a friend that she genuinely became a different person. There were several of us that hung out together but I was the “closest” so I had to step up and say basically that we weren’t going to follow her down the rabbit hole. Gone are the 3:00 AM I need help calls, you’ve used up all of those cards plus a few more. We love you and are here to help you but aren’t going to enable you anymore. She disappeared for about 6 months and resurfaced a bit worn but better for the ride. She thanked us. Other times I never hear from people again which is sad.

I give too many chances and I keep hope alive longer than I should at times. I know I have been taken advantage of because I am a “nice person”. It still baffles me that I can do everything in my power to help some people and they still say I did nothing or I am a horrible person. I say go ahead and spread your petty little lies because karma comes back around and the people who really want to know me, will find out who I really am. Then it is noted that I am not this mean and cruel person but the person who tried to make it look that way is now looking worse than how they tried to make me look.

I am by NO definition of a saint. Lord knows I have plenty of flaws and have no problem admitting them. In fact, I think it somewhat irritates people that I am that way. It’s hard to start drama when your lead player won’t follow the script!

I have rambled long enough. This should be a nice start. A place for the borders, my edges if you will.

I hope you all have a fantastic Tuesday my fabulous friends.

Always remember to keep hope alive!

 

 

 

Just going to plant some flowers….


Recently a friend posted on her Face Book page she had some daylilies and if anyone wanted them to come on by and get some.

I talked to my mom and asked because I though the front yard could use a little color in the garden and she whole heartedly agreed.

Of course I would go get them, dig them up and replant them.

That sounds So SIMPLE!

The reality is I went and dug up the plants 2 days ago.

I didn’t think I dug too many up and had put them in 2 bags, one for mom and I and another from another set of friends.

I was sore in places I forgot I had muscles! I was feeling all “nature girl” or something.

I gave my friends theirs on Sunday afternoon on the way to family dinner and had put ours in the yard. I knew they’d be fine for a day or two.

Monday was not a good day. No flower planting.

Tuesday, today, I woke up thinking “I got this.”

I tend to be delusional at times and this is so one of those times!

I go out into the yard where I originally thought I would plant them. Realizing they may not get enough sunlight at all, I changed locations to the front flower bed where there was a gap and a fabulous spot for my flowers!

So I start digging. And digging. And cutting away the cloth laid down years ago to control the weed population. I got 4 good holes dug. Then I went around and got the flowers.

After looking at the plants I realized there were way more than I thought and were clustered together. I needed more holes!

So I cut the fabric and started to get my shovel for more holes when I feel a piercing pain in my foot. I won’t lie. I hollered out a word not fit for small children to hear!

I thought I had been stung or somehow had gotten a sharp rock in my shoe. Nope, the “tacks” they use for the “weed cloth” was in my foot and a lovely shade of crimson was now showing on my foot!

Mentally I did the math and I am good on the tetanus shot (less than 5 years), however it Hurts!

So now I am hobbling in the house to “treat my wound” and feel sorry for myself! Only 5 minute pity party allotted today though!

But this is Life so I have to Suck It Up!

I am taking a small break and thought I would check emails, my posts, etc and see what’s happening in general in the virtual world and realized I could do a post about this.

In life, you plan to just “plant some flowers”, use that for whatever you need to do (organize, clean, plan a party, whatever), but somehow the time constraints and plans you put into place don’t always work out the way you want them to.

Heck Life sometimes just won’t Allow it to happen no matter what you do!

But remember you have a choice in Many things.

You have a choice in how you handle your situations.

For me, I am going to hobble back out there, get my holes dug and plant those flowers!

Hoping of course they live, this is my life after all, I am looking forward to seeing those beauties for years to come.

Because no matter how hard it turned out or how long it takes me, those flowers are worth it!

As are a lot of things in life we don’t want to take the time to do because it becomes more difficult than we expected. Those things are most likely worth it. We don’t need anymore regrets so don’t give up easily!

Always remember to keep hope alive!

Have a fabulously graceless Tuesday my friends!

My gracelessness is already shining bright today!