breathe

Throwing back and moving forward on this fabulous Thursday!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

We are soooo close to the weekend and I am so ready!

Thursday is the day you try and finish all the many things you want to do that so on Friday, it starts feeling like that feeling when you get readying for a vacation. Or a few days off work!

So today I am going to be busier than usual due to my migraine Tuesday, which I worked through and my hangover migraine Wed. I also got a good bit done though not as much as I would like! It’s a catch up day plus finish my “chores”!

I got a good bit done on the house management part of my life this week and that made be happy. A bit more to go but thus far, happy client!

I was feeling all good about the resumes I had sent out.

I had to laugh though when 3 of the jobs I applied for turned out to be scams! The way they are worded seems legit, then they reply to you and all I can think is, “there must be a script somewhere because they all use certain catch phrases to tip you off that it is a scam!”

A few weeks ago I thought I had found a great personal assistant job. The hours were what I needed and I could also do my freelance work and most importantly, spend more time with the boy.

I agreed and we emailed back and forth. They said they would be sending me a check to start.

I somewhat forgot about it so when it did come in I was surprised. It was drawn on a bank I was familiar with so I took it to my local bank.

I had one of those “odd feelings” and told the teller to check and see if the check was legit. She asked me why and I blurted out, “well this could be a scam and I want to make sure it isn’t.”

She handed me over to another manager and then the branch manager, actually now a good friend, who came out to talk to me.

He ran the account and found that the “company” would have you deposit the funds into your account and then cancel the check.

They would encourage you to withdraw part of the funds as soon as possible. Then then wanted you to send the funds to their “art dealer” and the “art” would be sent to you. They also suggested I use the outside deposit for “my convenience!

Yes SCAM!

So I am still searching for a possible part time day job, while writing, doing home management, volunteering and caring for the boy.

However today I will be focusing more on the boy and his schooling.

I get to confront the “better” school on what they can do for my kid. I want them to back up what I had been told when I did the first tour 4 months ago. Apparently a lot has changed.

I also get to do a little shopping because my main manager loves me and says I need a few items of clothing. She is the best manager ever! If you know me you will be laughing at that statement! It is true she is the best, but I am a bit biased because we are related! She is kind enough to let me help her out around her home and believes in me and my ability to write, be a caregiver and make a good living.

Do you know how blessed I am to have someone believe in me enough to give me a chance to make my dreams come true?!

Plus the perks are fabulous, I may be writing to you beachside next week, and she is pretty flexible with my hours.

She knows that I will only do the best work and I do get things taken care of even if it takes me a bit longer because I am doing my very best. Nothing else will do.

So today as I get my errands run and eventually write a few more articles, my mind will be drifting off to next weeks’ vacation with my fabulous family!

I’m so ready I wish we could leave Friday. No Saturday! I have chores and errands Friday too! Haha

My OCD won’t allow me to leave until all of my responsibilities are taken care of.

And the boy? He’s coming with me.

At the tender age of almost 5 he is starting to get the “is it Friday yet?!” thing.

I love it!

I am going into this day with hope and happiness!

My wish is for you to find a bit of hope and happiness on this fabulous Thursday!

Stay graceless my friends!

 tbt kid on potty

PS I had to post one of those “throwback Thursday” photos. See how my love for words goes wayyyy back?!

 

 

Running late…again

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 6 Comments

running late who i am

Calm down.

Breathe.

Anyone notice that those words have been written by me in other posts?! If you haven’t read them and are only seeing them now from me for the first time, know these words are part of my daily mantra of my “keep hope alive” attitude!

I am seriously OCD and strive to also relax.

Yes it is challenge for me but it’s also how I am.

I put routines into my life to ease off the OCD and try to relax while getting all my work and chores accomplished so I can enjoy my “time off”.

Time off is not only a coveted vacation with no responsibilities, however I see time off as that special time when I can spend quality time with myself, the boy, friends and family and just enjoy life without having to worry about working, deadlines, bill and the like.

I am Not a morning person.

I have to set at least 2 alarms to make sure I get up and going! Yes, it’s annoying but I love my sleep and I know myself and know I need the extra help of getting up!

I always have the best of intentions.

I even make sure to lay out everything I need the night before (ah my lists!) so that when I crawl from the covers I am ready to get going.

Of course I have to have at least a cup of coffee and most mornings, have to put it in a travel mug as I never have time to finish the first cup before leaving the house!

But sometimes, like today, I run late and though I try, it seems to throw everything off!

I have to work hard to make sure I get back on schedule and not so distracted from being late.

Hence why my lists are so important to me.

If I didn’t have them, I could literally wander around doing parts of things but never accomplishing what I really need to do.

Fortunately I give myself a bit of leeway so that if I do run late, all will not be lost!

I have to say when I was working a “real job” being late wasn’t an option. I had to be there on time or else I could lose my job. I always factored in variables so that I wouldn’t be late. I may come screeching in with 5 minutes to spare but I was there!

Working for myself is more challenging because when I run late, I am harder on myself than any boss I have ever had. And I always feel worse and beat myself up for a while before I remember that I did wake up.

Not everyone does.

I will catch up eventually.

late excerise lady

Life is too short for all the stress, which can kill you too.

So the next time you get off schedule, just remember to calm down and breathe.

And always Keep Hope Alive!

Cheers for a better day!

Stay fabulous my friends!

 

 

Monday, oh Monday, what will you bring today?

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

 

tree

In my grade school yearbook there was a quote, “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

I have thought of that quote often in my life, and heck to be honest, oftentimes agree with it!

However, I don’t think going into my day thinking, “I will be down because it’s raining or Monday” is isn’t healthy.

In fact, I question why it was put into a school yearbook because looking back, it’s kind of a negative quote. I mean it would be fine to be said by a cartoon character, but this was grade school as in K-6!

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and working to figure out some semblance of what I truly need to be doing that I am not.

I have learned that since I don’t have a “normal” 9-5 job I take on way more than I can get done because I think I don’t have the same time constraints.

I will think I can somehow get more done and end up running around in circles getting only 2 of 10 items done that need to get done!

There are the things that I always get done, dinner for the boy, bath, etc. but then there are things I have let slip through the cracks like getting the closets cleaned out and getting rid of clothes and toys that are no longer needed. (I “started” the clothes and toy project many months ago! Nowhere close to finished!)

One of my friends who works from home suggested I start a list.

Now those that know me know this is ironic because Lists are my thing!

I do write them for things I need to get done, besides the grocery list, and do get things check off.

However I haven’t been doing a “work” list and I am happy to say I actually outlined and started one for this upcoming week.

It’s hard to balance working for yourself, helping others, volunteering and of course raising my son.

Often I will think I can move one project to another day and then I forget that I moved it and the project doesn’t get done. Clothes and toys are a fine example!

Trying to line up my priorities has been chaotic and at times painful.

I am a people pleaser. Sometimes to my detriment.

Recently, I was told I waste too much time on my writing, my child and taking care of others.

That statement stopped me in my tracks though.

Saying I “waste too much time” on my child will get you a one way ticket to “you need to go. Now. Far away from me.”

As far as my writing and taking care of others, well, the same person told me that too. I don’t want or need that type of negativity in my life.

Looking back I think they were jealous that I spent time other than with them and so they set out to say hurtful things to me.

Why do we feel the need to tear others down when we don’t get what we want?

It seems far more common these days than in the past.

We live in a more fast paced and disposable society.

People expect everything “right now” and “made to order” and if something or someone isn’t how they perceive it should be it is immediately “wrong” and needs to be “fixed” and they should be “compensated” for their time.

What about my time?

I remember being taught “patience is a virtue” and it’s a hard one believe me!

I’m trying to teach my 4 almost 5 year old son this now.

And kids don’t always have a lot of patience at times!

Lately he seems to be getting it though.

Last week we were having dinner and I realized I was supposed to have a conference call, was trying to wrap up dinner, get him in the tub and ready for bed and I got a bit snappy with him. “Hurry up we have a schedule to follow.”

“Calm down. Breathe mommy. Is it worth it for you to get so upset?”

Wow. Having a 4 year old genuinely ask you the same question I have asked him took me off guard.

I did calm down and breathe. I told him he was right and it wasn’t worth it to get upset and be snappy to him and apologized. He replied with, “It’s ok mama, you’re always doing stuff for me and everyone else and making sure I’m ok, someone has to take care of you too and I am going to do that.”

Talk about making me tear up!

Maybe I am getting this parenting thing.

I know I will inevitably make mistakes, but I am praying that I can keep on with this progress of teaching him to be a good human being.

Kids learn by example so I must be doing a decent job!

So Monday, whatever you throw my way, I will conquer and succeed!

For all of the mistakes, screw ups and mishaps I make, I seem to be doing something right!

For me it’s one of the most important “something’s” I can do!

I chose to take Monday as a new slate, a fresh start and move forward… Always keepin’ hope alive!

Have a fantastically fabulous Monday my friends!

 

How do you look at Monday’s? I’m curious as to how others face a new week!

 

The Static

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 7 Comments

It’s always there.

The static.

Trying to seep in when I am trying to be productive.

Trying to ooze into my life and create chaos.

During those times when I am not at my best.

Those times when my body aches and my brain hurts.

Those times when I am emotionally drained and fallen.

But I still hold up.

I am not alone.

I am responsible for more than myself.

I am taken by others.

I am running out of myself.

In creeps the static.

I breathe in.

I breathe out.

I find myself again.

Even for a moment so I can regain myself.

Escaping the static yet again.

But it is always there.

Taunting me.

Teasing me.

The static.

 

Just breathe

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes you go and you go and you go and suddenly a brick wall appears out of no where and there you are.

Smack on your booty. Sprawled across the pavement, against the window or whatever.

This is all metaphorically speaking of course!

I feel like that a lot when parenting. Or in life. Or when I haven’t seen my boy in over a week and over did it playing and can barely move! Literally.

We run errands, take care of others (family, animals, friends), work, clean, socialize and seem to be on the run constantly.

We forget to stop and smell the roses.

We forget to just breathe.

It seems so many things get in the way of having “fun”.

We start “carving time out” for “free time” but fill it with “hobbies” that seem to stress us out even more.

What happened to playing and being silly, singing for no reason and dancing in the rain?

What happened to just enjoying being?

We hold our breath hoping to get that job, for that boy to ask us to the dance, for that girl to call and we hold our breath waiting to see what the next words out of someone’s mouth is because it means “something” to us.

BREATHE.

Just Breathe.

Long, slow, deep breaths.

Sometimes it’s all that you need.