May you have hope, kindness, passion and peace in your day


grace n truth

May your day be filled with hope, and may you actually see the actualization of those hopes fulfilled.

May there be a kindness and compassion in your heart and those around you.

May there be patience and a peace within your soul as you venture out into the humanity.

I send out the hope, kindness, patience and peace prayer into the universe and pray it stretches beyond this universe.

I hope it is felt by all.

I am thankful to be alive.

I know I am completely flawed and that I am doing all that I can to find hope, peace, patience and kindness within myself so that I may attempt to be a better human. The struggle is real. Life is always a challenge but it’s how we choose to handle it. I haven’t handled a lot of things well lately. I am working on changing that.

So my prose of hope is one for everyone that is reading this and also for myself and all of those that I love.

Keep Hope Alive!

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

 

Raw expectations and perspective


We all have expectations of some degree or another.

Many of us want/wish things would go smoothly and according to plans. If you have been on the planet any length of time you learn that is not the way that it is.

I know that money can buy many things, even make you happy for a time… did you know you can hire someone to hold your umbrella, your place in line and even carry a child for you?

What it can’t buy is true feelings of happiness deep down in your soul.

So many times we place far too much value on material items. We place expectations of our happiness on material things or things that are so far out of our reach but we are taught to reach for the stars. We forget about the lesson of what happens when we do not get what we want.

I often see people going through the motions of happiness but they are not truly happy. Maybe they are happy in some ways but not fully at peace with who they are. They feel they need more “stuff”. Maybe it isn’t the “stuff” that they need but the intangible peace that can only come from within.

I know sometimes if I get too comfortable in my own skin it becomes uncomfortable and I search for ways to stretch my creativity and my mind. I need more, but it isn’t always about material gain. If that is a by-product of the changes I choose then I consider that a bonus. I obviously have to maintain a certain criteria in order to take care of myself and the boy.

I know that there are so many times I feel that I fail to meet the expectations of others. As well as the expectations I set for myself. I feel like I can be too stubborn, too strict, too hard, too blunt, too much of all the things I should ease up on. Then I argue with myself on if not me, who will? It can become a quiet hell in my mind. On the outside, I actually appear sane and having it together. Inside it is like Armageddon and the end of the world as I know it.

The need to do good and what is right is never in question. It’s the road to getting there that can get narrow and long. It’s going about it my way when others have their perceptions of how I should be doing it. Not that there is always something wrong with their way or that I can’t see the benefits and may even incorporate all or some of their suggestions. It is when I chose what I feel is best for me and mine and I am chastised like a child or someone tries to put me down because “they know what’s best”. Maybe they do know what’s best, but I can guarantee that that don’t know what is best for me.

One of my favorite lines is “finding my way lost.” I heard the term and wrote on the line into my poems over 20 years ago. It still resonates within me all these many years later. When I first wrote on it I was in my early 20’s. I had certain perceptions of how life “should” be and how I could make it into how I thought I wanted it to work. I was so far off the mark as to how things should be and what paths I needed to take to get there. However, in taking that detour in my life, it broadened my perspective of not only me, but the wider world.

Sometimes life moves so very fast, it’s like it goes in slow motion for a short while and it is back on the train to crazy town. Your dreams either happen, change forms, or are tweaked to reflect your inner changes. Sometimes you aren’t able to achieve certain dreams. You can let that define how you go forward by wallowing in your own self-pity (been there). Try moving forward in a new direction. I’m not necessarily sure it’s the direction you need to be going but it needs to feel right. I recommend this one over the self-pity. Not that self-pity doesn’t have its moments but that is all, for me, that it needs to be is moments. I can’t get caught up repeating the same thing over and over for years and not getting anywhere close to where I want to be.

I dreamed of a family. Not only the family I was born into, but a larger, happier, crazier family mixed with both the biological and those who chose to join me on this journey. I dreamed of children, a partner to share it with, and always, those I deem famriends – friends that are family.

My famriend family is amazing. I have those I have a DNA link to as well as the other amazing humans that I have met on this incredible journey of life. People I will have in my life in some form or another until the end of this life’s journey.

I was blessed with one amazing miracle that chose me to be his mama. I was also blessed with several “nieces and nephews” prior to the boy’s arrival to help prepare me for when the time was right.

Not every part of my dream was like I expected it to be. Sometimes it was more than I could take and pain, despair, depression and misery took over. They occasionally make their appearance but I now know how to deal with them.

The best part is that I am still here, writing my story with every breath I take. I am responsible for loving and showing another human being how to start their own journey. I hope to be with him for many years but I know that whatever time I have with him, he will always know what love is and he knows how to find happiness. I pray I have the time to teach him how to nurture that and help him grow into the young man he will hopefully become.

We never know what tomorrow brings, so try and share yourself with those you love while you have the change.

Look at life from a different perspective. Step out of your comfort zone, if only a little bit. Take a chance and live! Share the joy, compassion and love with the world. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all just made the effort to try to be kinder, more patient and understanding every day?!

These are the raw thoughts that have been on my mind. These are the things that keep me going. These things and of course, the amazing people that I share my life with.

Keep Hope Alive!

 

Stop the train, I think I want to get off….


That moment when you are at your wits end and you call your sister and say, “Go out to the pen, grab a chicken, a rooster, whatever you have most of and sacrifice that critter and chant for things to get gooder!” Yeah, I totally had one of those moments.

Times like that is where 80’s movies and song quotes come to mind. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Ferris Bueller. That’s the first one that popped in the old noggin’. Maybe being of the MTV and a Gen X’er play into that. Who knows?! And really, do I care? Eh, maybe not so much. I mean I can’t even place artist and songs together unless we go way back and even then I may know the entire song but not who sang it much less wrote it!

never know how strong u r until its only choice

By the way, the sacrifice thingy worked, at least for the one issue I had which involved an early start to my morning by at least an hour. And anyone who really knows me knows I am Not an early morning person unless I went to bed really early. I’m more of a night owl. Lately I am just a need more sleep-in-love-with-my-bed-and-think-about-it-far-too-often kind of owl. Human. Whatever!

This week has been a real hum-dinger! I am hoping and praying for a better today and a fabulous weekend. Life is what you make of it. Life may be tossing zingers at me, but I am truly working hard to handle it with class. Sometimes there just are no words. You have to just trust in what is there and believe in yourself. No matter how hard it gets, you know you can get through it. Maybe a little more worn than you had thought, but you make it through.

For me I learned when I had the boy that I can’t let those zingers drag me down for too long. I can wallow in it and I can ask why, but I also have to be present for him. I have to function for him and I want to. Gone are the days of me being able to stay in my pajamas for the weekend or when I come home from work. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sometimes let go

The whole single parenting thing can be very daunting at times. Even if you co-parent well, it doesn’t make other things just easy. If you don’t co-parent well and you have other issues, it can be even worse. I am just blessed to be a parent at all. I am just thankful he is so open and understanding with me. He talks to me about anything and he’s only 5. He tells me he knows he can talk to me about whatever he needs and I won’t get too mad or upset.

I do screw up, pretty much weekly, but I know I am doing something right. I know that my greatest contribution to this world isn’t the words that I write but the human I teach to go out into the world. Love. Hope. Compassion. Understanding. Questioning. Patience. Faith. Trust. All of those things as well as teaching him how some other people hate, and sometime for no reason than that was how they were taught. Heady stuff.

The best part is that he makes life more bearable when things are rough. He loves me unconditionally. That and I now know my sister will do the bird sacrifice for me make all right in my world!

Happy Friday Eve! Keep Hope Alive!!!

thrs is friday eve

 

 

thoughts from my mind…


Staring into space I forget what I’m doing

Goals to accomplish, life’s going on, it’s time for me to get moving

My brain will stop and fade out and in

Conversing can be hard, I’m so thankful for my friends

The ones, along with some family, who understand my oddities

And who accept the quirks of me

It’s not to say I don’t come with irritations

Life, we understand, comes with certain limitations

Sometimes we push too much, we try to go too far

Forget we need to stop and rest, like fuel needed in a car

I go and go and run and run and keep going ‘til I can’t

Then I stop and breathe, take a rest and I listen to the rants

I laugh; I cry and sometimes try to reason

I forget that in this journey of life, everything has a season

I wonder if in finding mine I will lose more than I’ll gain

The words that creep into my mind is “there is no joy without the pain”

It fills me with awe, these words from me, that fall right from my mind

Straight to my finger tips to share my thoughts in kind

Those meant to share will walk with me this journey all the way

Others will walk a while with me then find their place to stay

My gypsy soul, my warped, sweet mind guides me on my path

The karma, love and things I see, protect me from the wrath

Of those who lives who set a course in life to hurt and harm others

For me I see us all as one family, with many sisters and brothers

Of course, there’s mothers and fathers too along with friends and lovers

We all are one big family, this interwoven cover

To live, to love and show compassion

To keep hope alive and take action

To stand for those who cannot stand and follow through

To bare my soul for all to see and to do what I say I will do

 

 

Genderless toy aisles, George Carlin and raising my boy


It seems lately George Carlin is running back through my head again. I like remembering George and all of his rants and insights.

I loved his creativity of being able to convey and articulate his thoughts and views into monologues that were not only hysterically funny, but also made you think.

So often now we have everyone being politically correct so they don’t “offend” groups of people. I understand that some PC is needed; however it really gets out of hand for some things.

A perfect example, in my humble opinion, is the “genderless” toy aisles at Target. No more pink and blue to” jump” out at you as to make you go to one aisle or the other. Now you just wander up and down the aisles looking for that certain toy. I do wonder if they are going to just put a bland background as I still see all the pink Barbie stuff and the My Little Pony sets aren’t exactly oozing with “gender neutral” colors. Neither are the Ninja Turtles or Jurassic World toys. I have to wonder does it really matter?

My son who is 5 and very much a boy will sometimes, when I let him in the toy department, cruise up and down all of the isles of toys as he wants to see what there is. He often stops at the Doc McStuffins section as he loves the show and I have no problem with him imagining being a vet or doctor. It does not matter to me that Doc McStuffins is a girl or that the majority of the toys are pink and it doesn’t matter to him either. We look at everything including the little kid toys. We talk about what he likes and what you

We wander down most of the aisles when I allow him to go into that department. Seriously, when we go to a super Target or if I have to go to Walmart instead of the local grocer, there is no going to check out the toy department unless there is extra time, and there is an agreement sealed in blood that he will not ask for Anything. Period, nothing, nada.

Life is challenging enough and he has to learn you don’t get a treat just for going into a store that sells toys. I don’t get a treat for going to get the basics.

Not to say we don’t have fun or I don’t give him a “treat”,

Here, hold your go-gurt and be happy! Oh look, the good string cheese! You can totally hold that whilst we cruise the store to get the things we need.

We have wants and we have needs.

We do not need a toy. We need milk and cheese. Sometimes we need ice cream so we have that stocked too. It doesn’t mean that he gets ice cream all the time either, or popcorn. Yes we have it if needed, sometimes as a dessert and sometimes just because we want it.

Maybe I see things differently now because of him. I have always tried to be aware of how others are and be considerate of others without leaving out who I am. I admit I now tone myself down a bit. Just a tish, but not too much.

He watches me and studies how I react and view things. It’s kind of freaky and I am still in shock they just let me take him home after I had him. “Here you go! Have fun with him and try not to screw him up too bad!” No manual or instructions. It isn’t easy but it’s worth every second.

I guess that’s why teaching him empathy and compassion are top priority for me. Along with a dash of sarcasm and how to handle it when life isn’t as fabulous as we would like it to be. And always about love. No matter what.

As far as being PC, we will just have to see what the situation is.

And for me, I am always keeping hope alive!

 

Merry Christmas from Fabulous Gracelessness!


mc we wish you

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

I hope that everyone gets to enjoy this day in some way. Near or far it doesn’t matter, just that you find some happiness, some peace just for a moment.

I hope that those children that believe in Santa wake up to find that Santa came! I hope the children that don’t do Santa wake up happy and healthy.

mc peace love hope believe

I hope that everyone who takes the time out to read my blog will stop, just for a moment, and find a memory, or reflect on this holiday season, and find just one memory that makes you smile. The warm, fuzzy inside kind of smile. The kind of smile that lights up your whole being! Keep Hope Alive! It’s Christmas! Miracles happen!

I realize and understand that not everyone celebrates or even enjoys Christmas. Some don’t even recognize it. I am perfectly okay with that.I am sharing how Fabulous Gracelessness does Christmas.

Here in Sweet Home Alabama it is a holiday that the majority of folks Celebrate!

mc traditiona

It’s a day we get together with family and friends. Often times we see folks we don’t see throughout the year for whatever reason. People sometimes put away their differences to enjoy time with family and friends. Some make new traditions and others blend the old with the new.

Before I had my son, I always got together with my family, but I also would get together throughout the holiday season and visit with friends that I didn’t get to see as much. Several of us agreed that gift giving was way overrated, in fact we call it Giftsmas, due to those that tend to over give and expect the same in return. We decided that we would always buy for the kids, but for us, just all getting together, eating good food and having a few spirits were all that we needed.

Since the boy came into my world, I still try to get together with friends, though it isn’t as easy or frequent as I would like. I do still enjoy the festivities but it has changed a bit. I have made more traditions that I did in my own childhood with him. I have created new traditions with him too. We love finding new things to do. Apparently, we are now adding make a gingerbread house to our things to do! We also drive around and look at the lights. Not necessarily on Christmas night but close to Christmas. Even in the rain we go. It is so much fun to see the joy of lights and decorations through the eyes of a child.

mc heaven

It is also bittersweet. There are so many that are no longer with us. It can be so damn hard to put on a happy face when the tears are falling like rivers inside. You don’t want to make everyone else sad or put a damper on the festive times. But I can’t help but think about how much my Daddy would enjoy his grandsons. How much my Grandparents would love to play with their great-grandsons. How truly amazing it would be to have everyone home for Christmas. How much it hurts knowing that can’t happen. How much we still love and miss them and always will.

It’s why I love making new memories. To bridge the past with the present and look forward to the future.

This year I haven’t felt the Christmas spirit like I have in the past. I am so thankful for the boy as he pulls me from the abyss just knowing how much joy he has and his love for the holiday. I love that he has an elf named Jerry that magically found us and how he watches throughout the year and shows up after Thanksgiving. He comes with a letter and a tiny gift and moves about the house during the season. He doesn’t make messes or sit on a shelf. He is a different kind of elf. I love that we call Santa every year and he talks to him on the phone. We make reindeer treats as well as treats for Santa. I love the pure joy and glee in his eyes when he sees that Santa came. It isn’t the volume of the gifts it’s the magic of Christmas. It’s everyone getting along for the day when he goes from Mommy’s to Daddy’s house knowing he is loved by so many and it is a day where everyone is present. No distractions just the enjoyment of those around him.

eys of child

Through the eyes of a child is how I wish everyone could see Christmas.

Keep Hope Alive my fabulous friends!

And may all of your Christmas’ be bright!

onnly blind xmas helen keller

*Fabulous Gracelessness does not want to offend those who do not celebrate this holiday. I hope you enjoyed reading how me and mine celebrate Christmas. I hope you understand that for us, Christmas isn’t just gifts and decorations. It is a time for us to come together. It is a time when we feel everyone should share their joy and their compassion for others. Be kind. Be patient. Remember everyone does not get to enjoy it like we do. Even if some years it isn’t as “lavish” as you would like it to be, but that you may be blessed with peace and joy.

Front row seating on the karma parade


Sometimes life hands you that moment you have dreamed about, watching karma in action.

No matter if you have forgiven the person for the wrongs against you, you wonder how it can be that some people can be so cruel and mean but they seem to glide on through life, not caring about the havoc they reek on others and getting away with it seemingly without consciousness nor concern for anyone but themselves.

While you continue on the path, no matter how hard and how painful, of the right and moral way to get through this havoc and hell that you allowed yourself into because you cared.

You are not the only casualty of this war, but you are at the top of the hit list.

In order to have peace of mind you have to move forward in a healthy way, not giving into the rage and anger because you know how easily you could become like the person who continues to fuel the fires though the title fight is over.

It is not easy but you have no choice to focus on making your life better and keep hope alive. The process is slow, painful and exhilarating. You find you are stronger than you ever imagined. You find patience where you thought there was no patience and strength you thought had long gone.

You finally reach that point where you no longer have any feelings… no fear, nausea, anxiety. It has all gone. You realize you are free.

You can even be around them without stressing and feeling ill.

Their power over you is gone.

You are always watchful. You know to not trust this person. But you have a place of peace now.

Then, when you are not expecting it, karma falls into your lap and gives you first row seating to one of the main events.

There are so many tentacles of what it could be but this one, oh yes this one, somehow, deep down, you knew the universe could not let them get a free pass. You knew one day this would have to surface. They will have no choice but to face the music.

Although you thought about it, dreamed of it, now that it is transpiring you do feel a tug in your mind, guilt of feeling any kind of happiness that it’s finally being stopped. They can’t hurt you in that way anymore but you still feel a tiny bit bad that it is going to be so rough for them. Then you think about all that you paid for, the heartache, tears and years. You think of how you no longer harbor hatred and wonder if they will ever find that peace.

Sadly, you realize that they may never find their compassion or peace in this life. You realize this could be just the first wave of the karma parade.

How are you supposed to feel? It isn’t up to me. I didn’t make it happen. I feel that I am supposed to be happy or relieved but honestly, I am just more in awe. The universe takes care of those who take care of others in its own time.

I know I believe.

Keep hope alive.

 

Life, hope and reality through the eyes of a child


eyes of child JOY use

I want to share how life looks through my boy’s eyes.

The eyes and opinions of a child are so true and pure.

They are little sponges and are for the most part, naïve and honest. Much more so than we are. They say what they’re thinking as they are thinking it. I am working with the boy on discretion.

He enjoys people watching. This past summer at the beach, if a girl in a 2 piece walked by, my boy was checking her out. Smiling goofily and almost drooling. I was telling him how to look without staring. He now understands sun glasses now and how well you can look at people but they can’t see your eyes. He prefers to all out look at them. He is also not judgmental, if they had their belly showing, he was grinning no matter what sized body they had.

I am working with him on that filter from brain to mouth. It is proving to be a bit more challenging. Also he is getting more curious about life and how things work. Exciting and scary at the same time. Kind of like his questions and statements, sometimes exciting other times his phrasing or learning can lead to awkwardness, embarrassment or frustration. Sometimes I just don’t have the right answers but I try.

“Mommy your belly is so big, is there a baby in there?” No kid, you’re the only one. My miracle but when you ask me that in front of others, I understand, for an instant, why certain species eat their young.

“Why is that man screaming at that lady,” on seeing a man yelling at a woman in a parking lot. I knew that is was a domestic violent situation, saw the approaching police and could move the vehicle forward, away from the ugly truth of life. I give him snippets, “Sometimes adults yell and scream at each other and it isn’t right to be doing that to someone, much less in public.” His response, “There must be something wrong with him to act like that. I’m 5 now and I know I shouldn’t scream at people mommy.” Oh my sweet angel, if only we all knew that and if we acted on it, apologized genuinely like you do.

“Mommy we are all different colors, but we are all alike. I don’t understand the big deal.” “What do you mean?” “Well I am white with blonde hair and blue eyes. You are light brown with green/brown eyes and black hair, and I have friends with brown skin and black hair. But we are all peoples. So what’s the big deal when people act all mean and weird?” “You know what buddy, we are all equal. No matter what our skin color or where we are from. Sometimes people want to think they are better than other people.” “Like smarter?” “Well yes smarter or more important, that their life is better than the other person’s life.” “Well that’s dumb. We are all people, we all pee and poop. We all get smelly. We all laugh. Sometimes people can’t see or don’t have arms or legs or look different but we are all people. There must be something wrong with some people.” Oh my child you have no idea.

“You know I wish we could visit heaven and cross that rainbow bridge. Seems like we need to find a way to do that. We have all these puters and smart people and space. How come we haven’t find a way to visit? I want to see Pops and Jethro again. Maybe when I grow up and become a superhero, I can find a way to do that.” That one brought tears to my eyes. It still does.

children are happy no file of wrong

Many cultures believe that children are more in touch with their past lives, the spirit world and universal truths. That we are born with an ability to trust and believe in others and are more empathetic. They also see things that once you begin growing older, the majority begin to lose the ability to see beyond this world. As they age, they begin to lose that naivety and become more jaded. Many times it is due to their environment and their beliefs their parents, families and guardians feel.

There are many children that will still see and feel these things not only as youth, but as they grow older. They remain empathetic and compassionate. This does not necessarily mean that they are “strange” or not like “normal” kids. Many of them learn who they can talk to and who they can’t. Sometimes their families help them along and others find like people and information that help them along their journey.

We often discount children and their fantastical tales, their songs, their opinions. After all, how much life experience do they have?

I know I have heard the boy and several other children talk about “their life before this one.” I have also talked to some of those kids who only vaguely remember talking about it as the memories have faded. Things that he has said make me pause and think about things.

Who’s to say he didn’t have another life before this one? He talks about before he was borned (his word, we’re learning) when he was in heaven waiting for a new family. He says he remembers being told he would get a “good” mommy this time who loved him more than anything and would listen to all the things he had to say and not make fun of him for singing, dancing, making up stories and remembering things from his “other” life. Whoever told him that was spot on.

So do I think he has a bit of life experience? Yes. Does that mean I am going to allow him to do something beyond his years, like a drive a car, at 6 years old? That would be a big NO! Well, not unless he shows some mad learning skills along with better focus in the next 10 months! Ha, who am I kidding?! Absolutely not letting the boy drive anything other than go carts and bicycles for quite a while!

In the words of my boy, “Be nice to everybody, even if they are mean to you. Then just look at those people and smile and say “too bad” and walk away. They aren’t worth your time. We only want fun people on our ride!”

wisdom of ages eyes of child

As for me, I am keeping hope alive!

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

New week, new job, new hope – Keep Hope Alive Sunday!


intertwined hands

I am so excited to announce I got another job! Yea! It’s through another company that does caregiving/companion services and I will get the opportunity to move up in the company! In case anyone’s keeping score that will make 2 part-time jobs caregiving and will hopefully free me up to write more and earn more doing all of the things I love! That includes being the absolutely fabulously graceless crazy mama to the boy too!

It’s a small step but it is a step in the right direction! Being able to get back on the road to hopefully fully support us again is huge. I am so deeply grateful to my mama and friends who help me out but oh mah lawd I cannot tell you how this independent maotic human prefers to help others than to have to ask for help.

I still get to work with my Miss Candy and our knitting, shopping, pool adventures! That’s one of the best parts for me is to get to keep one of the things I love doing. Plus, you spend so much time with someone and they begin to feel like family. You trust each other and come to rely on how things work when you’re working together.

cg heart wheel

As I was going through the new employee orientation the things we cannot do are highlighted. Be on our cell phones, invite family and friends along, bring your pet, borrow money – to me something I would never do anyway but I understand, especially when you are sitting with someone who sleeps often or has Alzheimer’s and says, “Oh I don’t mind, invite/bring do whatever you want you’re family, dear.”

First of all, you go in knowing your client’s conditions. What they need, what the family wants, and how to work on their schedule. If you are working with a client with Alzheimer’s who is still cognitive and can talk about many things and sounds “normal” to you but then says something completely off like, “We should go to my house in the mountains you would love it.” This person is being completely genuine and in that moment, knows you both would have a good time. You probably would. But the point of your caring for them is so they don’t book tickets, make arrangements for these kinds of things. Most likely the family is paying for their care, yes out of their funds, but it is your job to help them day to day and that includes the trust of making sure things are in their best interest. Not yours.

I have had patients and clients ask me to go everywhere with them, offer to pay for things, and tell me to bring my pets, my boy and my friends and family over. All very well meaning, however I am doing a job. My job is just more personal than some. After all, I admit I have an attachment with these people. I also realize I am caring for them and responsible for them. I am not bringing my life, family and business to work.

They can persist in their asking and this usually involves me “redirecting” them. Redirecting is a term used in healthcare for doing what it says, redirecting that person into another conversation gently. Sometimes you have to say, “I would love to do that but I just don’t know when I could go as I have so much going on. That is so nice of you to ask me.” If they keep persisting, I will let the family know and keep going with the, “I wish I could go and I thank you but right now isn’t a good time.” One gentleman I worked with asked me for 4 months straight, always forgetting he had asked me before, to go home with him to see the family. The bus stop was just down the road and it wasn’t a long trip! With him I always said, “We will see” knowing he wouldn’t remember asking me earlier.

cg w patient

You also are not allowed to share your life with the client per se. It is fine to say you have a child, partner, pets, etc. but you do not share your drama, your needs or your complaints. As far as they are concerned your life is peachy keen. Yes, this may seem drastic and untrue, but really, it is not their business to know that your ex whatever is a jerk and not doing what they need to do, or that you are short on your bills or anything of the like. Again you are there to do a job. It still amazes me that people in this industry continuously cross that line. Talking with the office manager we both agreed if you are experienced you know where the line is. Sometimes it can be a fine line on a rough day but you do not cross it. Ever. It could cost you that job just by saying something too personal.

People think that it is so easy to just take care of someone. That it is a “cush” job and there is no skill or thought about it. It isn’t high paying, which is sad because these are human beings and people have no idea the challenges you can face taking care of folks. Maybe for some people it’s easy and they feel there is no skill involved and don’t care about the money, they will find “perks” from their clients. Those are the folks I would not want to take care of me and mine!

caregiving complez

This line of work isn’t for everyone. I know that. It is hard to form relationships with people who can’t always remember you, challenge you and even yell at you sometimes. In other instances it is hard caring for someone you know is not going to be on this earth much longer. Because you can’t help but care and you have formed a bond with them, their passing is hard on you. If they are blessed, you have also formed bonds with some of their family and once that “case is closed” you are working another “case” and “moving on.” But it isn’t always so simple. You go into this knowing the outcome for clients and patients. You tell yourself you will, of course, give them your best, but you will not let yourself get attached in any way to that person. Then you do. You can’t help it because it isn’t in your nature. At least it is that way for me. I love being able to care for people. Even those who are dying. I have often seen and experienced some of the most awe inspiring lessons from those “cases”. I cried with the families and I have cried with the staff when the patient has no family. I know that I did the best I could for them while they were in my care. Even for a brief period of time.

family care

So to say that I am happy about this new job is an understatement. I am once again doing what I love. I just pray it helps pay the bills and I can keep these two caregiving jobs, write and hopefully get paid all while caring for the boy.

After all, my motto Keep Hope Alive seems to be working!

Have a fabulous day!

 

Happiness, History and Hope


This has been one of those wild, non-stop, emotionally charged, deliriously happy, historic, filled with hope exhausting days!

Technically it is now Saturday but since I haven’t been to sleep yet it’s still Friday night for me ha!

My morning started off a bit crazier than I would prefer, but I felt it in my soul it would be awesome. It was Friday, I was happy, the boy and I had/have plans for our weekend so all is good.

Then I am shopping for a few items in the local store and am inquiring about a movie I am looking to purchase for the boy (James and the Giant Peach – a classic). The young man helping me is 20 and we are discussing old school toys which are still awesome and he was impressed I shared with my son those toys, movies and I was just being me when I get The Text “SCOTUS rules marriage bans unconstitutional, marriage equality for all!

I literally shouted, “WhooooWhoo” out loud and started getting happy tears and dancing….then remembered I was talking to this really nice dude and so I tell him why, being kind of gentle with my words because I don’t want a confrontation, though you can tell he was open minded and whatever I had learned, it just made me happy. He looks at me a minute and tells me, “You are so cool I wish you were my mom…I hope that doesn’t sound creepy!” I just hugged him!

First of all let me say what this means to me.

My child will be able to grow up in a world I did not have.

Equality. For Real.

When I was a child it was a “sin” for couples of different races to marry. I never understood this and always went to my daddy with these kinds of questions. I understood he didn’t always agree with people, but he was one of the most honest, compassionate, genuine and fair people I have ever known. He cared for everyone involved in a situation.

This was a subject he and I had discussed several times together.

Coming from the deep south where it’s a “sin” just to be different, I valued his opinion and he was very respected both in his personal and his business life.

I was always questioning things, rooting for the underdog and generally trying to figure out why people couldn’t accept others for who they were.

He told me the fight for gays and marriage equality was very much like the civil rights movement in the 60’s and 70’s.

He would know. He stood up for what was right and believed in those who could make a difference and do a good job no matter the color of their skin. He fought to make the industry in which he worked here in Alabama equal across the board. Black, white, male, female. We were all equal in his eyes.

Though he did not agree with the gay lifestyle per se, he did understand their need to be equal and as human beings they deserved the same “luxuries” we are all given.

He had strong Christian values and told me “He wasn’t God and it wasn’t his place to judge.”

This is why I love and miss my daddy every day.

I think he would be proud that I am standing up for what I believe in.

That I choose to teach my son ALL Human Beings are Equal finally in the eyes of the law.

I have always taught him, and continue to do so, that everyone of us are HUMAN. We are all the same creatures who have different faces and personalities. You may not like everyone, you may not agree with everyone, but you need to respect everyone from a human standpoint.

We haven’t gotten into some people you just have to step away from yet!

I KNOW there is still a long road ahead.

I know there are battles to be fought.

I know, and it saddens me, that some people will resort to violence and hatred to get their point across. Needlessly.

However I Never thought I would see this ruling, this historic moment in history!

Happiness fills my soul for so many friends and a long battle finally coming to an end allowing anyone to marry the one they truly love.

It gives me hope to think of our future of more tolerance.

That my son will hopefully know less hate and have more compassion for others.

He doesn’t see “color” unless he’s referring to “my skin is white or golden when I get sun. Mommy’s skin is light brown but when she gets sun she gets browner but not as brown as my friend Nicolas at school he is brown brown.” It is only a description of his friends and people. I will teach him no different because it is beautiful and real the way he sees the world now.

Yes happiness, history and hope.

Love wins.

It does my soul good to feel all three in a single day!

Have a fabulously graceless Saturday!

I will be enjoying ribs and home cooking with friends this evening! All in happiness!