free thought

My little parrot

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

When I found out I was pregnant, I read book, magazines, articles, blogs and specialty parenting sites.

I wanted to go in with as much information as possible and continue to research and read and learn about this small creature that is my responsibility.

You read about the stages of development and somewhat think you are mentally prepared for the stages.

You know deep down that anything can happen and things won’t be like the information overload you get, but you think you’re ready.

You are not.

Trust me.

It may not happen daily but, at least for me, a few times a week my offspring catches me totally off guard but something he does or says.

The past week seems to have been full of zingers!

He is four, soon to be five in September, and of course, knows “almost everything.”

He’s very self-confident and also can be shy.

He’s outgoing and loving.

He’s funny, witty and working on his jokes.

He has a slight lisp and still have the little boy voices so things he says that are beyond his years tend to throw me off and in many cases make me laugh.

He is full on boy!

He likes to “help cook” in the kitchen and with some minor adjustments, my OCD has accommodated him in his quest to help.

He helps pick up and “cleans” because he sees me do it and he wants his toys to not disappear if he leaves them scattered about.

He watches as me to see what I do and sometimes copies my actions.

He has similar facial expressions to me.

The boy can’t hardly taking a photo without sticking out his tongue… I may have taught him that!

Since I have always worked with him on manners, the age old “yes mam, no mam, thank you mam, please” phrase has been drilled into his head and still is. We also do “yes sir…” to make sure whether male or female he knows how to respond. When he burps or poots he is to say excuse me and usually does.

But it seems all boys, and some men and females, have to verbally note when they fart.

We call it barking spiders, pooter scooters and poots. Most recently he learned the phrase “passing gas.”

He finds them all hysterical.

Sounds coming from his butt are the best in his world.

I figure give him all the cleanest terms for his body and its functions as I can while he is young.

Recently he said “Mommy I had a big barking spider come out of my anus.”

Ugh! Hopefully he will still use the term booty or butt for now!

Trying to teach him the correct names for his anatomy is a challenge!

He also copies things we say.

The other night at dinner I was trying to open a container when he busts out with, “What Are you doing child?!” in a fabulous imitation of myself.

I lost it laughing.

It was one of those laughs that’s contagious and he started laughing and I started laughing harder, then I snorted and he screeched laughing and we are both crying laughing!

I am even doing the “shhhhhhhhhhhhhh” with hysterical laughter and “please quiet” trying to gain control over my laughing.

It was semi hopeless but sometimes those laughs are the BEST feeling ever!

Every word that comes out of my mouth has to be censored when he is anywhere near me.

It’s scary.

There are times when he is all up into a movie and I am talking to someone in the other room or on the phone, thinking he isn’t paying attention but dang if he doesn’t come back a bit later and ask “mommy what did you mean by this?”

Thankfully I am hyper aware of what I say around him because I really did remember reading about “the parrot effect” of young children.

I thought it would happen earlier than now and it did to a degree.

But it seems to be building and building.

I seriously need an editor before I speak in front of him because he sometimes mixes the contexts of the word and it does not sound right!

I’m just waiting for the call from his school.

I know it’s coming!

I just have to remember to breathe and pray it isn’t over anything too bad!

No matter what I will always think of my good friend “Max” and the call she got from her sweet, angelic daughter’s daycare. “Miss Max, Ally said the “F” word!”

Then I feel a little better. For now!

Have a fabulous Thursday My Graceless Friends!

I’m recovering today from a back procedure so no idea what tomorrows post will hold!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

Manual labor and the chic who forgot how it feels

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 8 Comments

Recently I agreed to clean an empty “small” garden home to help out an older gentleman who wanted to sell it as he no longer lived there. His son had moved out some time back he said, and I went over, we discussed pricing and I started the next day.  

First of all, I am so thankful he offered me more than I asked for!  

I was quoting him based on size, etc. knowing full well I would throw in some cleaning he didn’t mention because that’s how I am, and he was a single, older, gentleman who had come referred by a friend. I needed the money and he needed the help.  

Oh.My.Aching.Body.  

It’s not that I am not physically active. I have a 4 year old son and OCD. I am constantly on the move and cleaning, organizing and Running to catch him from numerous things. Trying to avoid as many doctor visits as possible!  

However, when I clean something, especially for someone else, I CLEAN It.  

I scrub and put my whole body into that scrub. I spray, scrub, wash, scrub and scrub some more. I become somewhat obsessed I admit.  

I will get bathrooms, kitchen, doors, laundry room, windows, floors, fans, floorboards Cleansed. 

I was thinking 4-5 hours maybe close to 6, broke down over 2 days, no problem. 

I did get it done in 2 days but it took 9 ½ hours! 

Yes I used muscles that I haven’t used in a long, long time. I had blisters on my hands. My spine, hips, back and booty feel like I went dancing for at least 10 hours solid.  

I wanted to crawl around but that is frowned upon in places and I can’t catch the boy crawling. Or just lying there.  

My son jumped into my arms earlier today and I struggled not to drop him and fall over.  

He asked me if I was “Ok mama? You seem shaky.” Very good observation young boy! I told him mommy had been working hard and her body was sore.  

He then asked if it was because I had cleaned the screened in porch yesterday. I had forgotten about that!  

That explained it!  

In addition to my house cleaning and new job duties (taking care of a lovely older lady who needs help in her home, including getting up and down), I had also cleaned a roughly 10 x 20 area top to bottom. And all the furniture – think Pollen build up from all season long. Nasty! OCD here it was bad!  

I do not mind cleaning and helping. I enjoy making money and helping family and friends clean. I am a freak, this I know.  

But I forgot that I am no longer a spring chicken and that my spine, for real, is not at its peak, and I am, in fact, having a procedure done later this week to burn those irritating nerves back there and get a spinal block and maybe something else my fabulous doctor will throw in. Because he feels sorry for me being all jacked up knowing how I live my life! And I do bend at the knees like I’m told Trust Me! I couldn’t do anything otherwise!  

I mean I go in every three months for maintenance! Seriously! 

Manual labor I can do, I just have to pace myself.  

To those who do it daily, my respect goes out to you!  

It is hard on a body!  

But I love it and of course I will be doing similar cleansings again… once my spine is fixed!

And that house I did? It is Cleansed! The owner said he hadn’t seen it that clean since he had been living there! Score for the gimpy girl!

 Have a Fabulously Graceless Tuesday my friends!

 Keep Hope Alive!

 

Plugged in but not tuned in

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 5 Comments

I was going to title this “Wired in” but plugged in seemed more apropos.

The definition of apropos is “fitting; at the right time; to the purpose; opportunity”.

I say this because even as I turn on my computer to only get into Word and begin typing my thoughts, I looked the definition up on my smarter-than-me-phone to make sure I am using the word apropos correctly in my mind! Too many folks toss out words not knowing the true definition or the way to use said word.

So many people use the term wired in or Wi-Fi, most often heard, to let others know they have “instant access” to the Internet so they can flaunt themselves with the knowledge they have the power to “look up information” on the go.

I freely admit this is quite handy and helpful but sometimes it can be a bit much.

Many of these folks, I’ve discovered, think that they are “extremely intelligent” because they have this “power” at their fingertips.

Everyone shares knowledge or information or news that they gleaned from the Internet by whatever source they chose to quote their info from. Facebook, news sites, spoof news sites.

More than have of those people decided their “source” is the truth and then proceed to tell you how your “source” is false and they hereby know more than you do because they are now “tuned in” to The Right Source.

These people kill me!

“It has be to be true ‘cause I read it on the Internet!”

It used to be they saw it on the television but we’re “evolving” now… sure we are, sure we are.

I am the one who will check several news sources to see if something is authentic before I post it, and even then sometimes find out that part or all of it was not the truth but it got out before the editor fully check the content. And yes, I have even got caught up in Internet hoaxes before I learned to check, re-check and triple check and even then sometimes something may not be true but it’s so “real” it seems like it is true. (HBO teaser trailers come to mind as well as a few other entertainment stations).

I am sure than many folks have heard the phrase “turn on, tune in, drop out”.

I wonder how many people really know where that term came from.

I recently heard it from the mouth of a “kid’ who had the “I’m young and smart and know everything” attitude and asked him what that meant to him.

He looked at me funny and said, “Ya know it’s what you say when you’re ‘in the know’.”

“Very interesting. And deep.” I replied, trying so hard to keep a straight face!

“I think it was a saying from some 80’s song but it means more now. We’ve changed it. Tuned in because it’s our generation that’s going to be in charge now and we have it all figured out which is what they meant by that term. We are wired into the world at our fingertips”.

It was all I can do to keep a straight face and get out of his vision (and sound range too) because I just lost it laughing at his definition of the phrase.

I can imagine once I “shared” with him the original origins of the phrase he would write me off as a crazy, old hippie lady and not take into consideration he could be incorrect on his information.

After all this is the age of information and according to this 20-something (barely) dude, his generation has it all figured out! God help us!

They practically created the internet, not Al Gore! Ok that was just funny if you get the reference. If not, just never mind and continue reading!

I had to call my friend immediately thereafter and tell them of this hilarious conversation and how Mr. Timothy Leary may could the humor in it if he was still with us. I hope! Because it kind of scares me to think this kid could be right.

How he got all that “deep ramble of thought(lessness)” from an “80’s” song I am just at a loss.

When you can Google the term “turn on, tune in and drop out” and the First thing that pops up is “”Turn on, tune in, drop out” is a counterculture-era phrase popularized by Timothy Leary in 1966. Reading on just a tinny bit you learn that in 1967 he spoke at the Human Be-In, a gathering of 30,000 hippies in Golden Gate Park and uttered the famous phrase “Turn on, tune in, drop out.”

His actual speech was “Like every great religion of the past we seek to find the divinity within and to express this revelation in a life of glorification and the worship of God. These ancient goals we define in the metaphor of the present – turn on, tune in, drop out.”

So is he plugged in, kind of. Wired in, I am so sure because he was holding one of those large Starbucks coffees in his hand!

But tuned in? In my opinion, no.

Because he represents the epitome of what I am trying to say here.

That just because you have the “information”, you don’t apply the knowledge of it.

You may use definitions to attempt to show your “power” but if you words lack the knowledge of intelligence, you sound like some of Mr. Leary’s pals that I am sure didn’t fare as well as him, Mr. Watts and Mr. Burroughs on their drugs.

The ones I am talking about that babble in the corner to things we cannot see!

And you only half-assed read on the Internet or you would have known pretty quickly what that phrase really meant and its origins.

If you would have truly read down a bit further you might have expanded your knowledge and sound like someone worthy of being respected.

But instead you mouth off, half knowing information, acting all superior to others because “you know” about “everything” and can tell others how they are “doing things wrong” yet your source is not even factual!

I know it’s not just this generation.

No, it’s far, far worse.

People of ALL generations have decided their superiority over others because they are “Tuned in” to what is “real”. However all of their realities seem to be a bit different so then we have several opinions as to what is real and what is not.

And everyone arguing and fighting over it, harming others in the process.

Forgetting that “turn on, tune in, drop out” is a metaphor for seeking the divinity within oneself. *I am paraphrasing here and inserting my opinion of the phrase.

But I do not expect everyone to agree with me.

Nor do I expect everyone to understand or care.

I just care than when you start quoting phrases and hurling them around at folks and judging them you know what you are really saying and mean. And that you back it up by walking the walk, not just talking the talk.

Put down you beloved smart phone before you walk into a wall or fall off the curb!

When you read, actually pay attention to what the writer is saying but don’t read while walking unless it’s just a glance because you may not be getting the full facts of what you are wanting to know.

For directions or referencing a glance is fine. But in order to “tune in” and find answers, you must first give the subject your full attention.

Otherwise we get a bunch of people who only think they know everything.

That is a terrifying thought to me!

Because those “half knowers” could be running our country one day. More of them than there already are! HA!

Seriously, our very lives depend on people who study, research and learn how to do specific things. Soldiers, police officers, fire fighters, doctors, lawyers, politicians – you get the idea. I personally want the ones who Know not the ones who glanced at the information packet to be helping me and mine!

So give humanity a break and “tune in” for a while before you start your judging and you superiority kick. It’s irritating.

As humans we claim to be superior beings, but are we really?

Deep thoughts for a fabulously graceless Monday morning!

Keep Hope Alive!!!

The “soul mate” predictor

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 16 Comments

There is a new “quiz” out on the Face book that’s called “who is your true soul mate?”.

You’ve no idea how much this amuses me, because if it were true it could help a lot of folks out!

However since it is by http://www.Captainquizz.com I am so sure it’s legit! *Can ya feel the sarcasm drip here?!

I had seen it but don’t do a lot of those “quizzes”, although sometime I admit that I do it just for fun.

I really wasn’t into it but was amused to see my friends enjoying doing it, and who it said their soul mate was. I admit a few friends and their mates were shown as soul mates when both of them did theirs. Kind of impressive when you think of how it matches you to your Facebook friends list!

Some friends were amused to note that their “soul mates” were, as in real life, a true, stand by you through anything friend.

Apparently, I am my sister from another mister’s soul mate! She took the test three times so it must be real!

I laughed so hard I wet myself! Just a little.

We have been in each others lives for over 35 years, since we were kids. Literally.

We went through growing up, puberty, those heinous teen years, after graduations, marriage, kids, moving far way, long distance trips, marriage, kid, divorce, death – you get the picture we are from birth to earth Steel Magnolias.

So yes I was Very amused and entertained by this.

Of course we’re soul mates! We didn’t need a dumb quiz to tell us that!

We’ve been through more madness than I will ever tell but always come out of it together!

Soul mate predictor. Ha!

Ok, I will admit I was intrigued to see if she was my soul mate so I took the quiz. Twice.

The first person was one of my moms best friends and though I love her dearly and all I just don’t see it.

Amused by it all I tried again.

This time I got said friends daughter!

I was laughing so hard I spit out my tea!

I thought it would give me the same answer but no, apparently when I take the test I have more than one soul mate.

And you know something?

I realized we do have more than one soul mate on this journey of life if we are truly lucky. Or blessed, however you see fit to look at it.

We define “soul mate” in loose terms to mean the person we are meant to spend our life with as in being a “couple”.

I know I hadn’t really thought about all of the people who are friends and family that I have “clicked” with instantly and jump straight up into their crazy and them to mine and haven’t looked back since as a “soul mate”.

It actually makes sense to me in my twisted, strange mind.

Some of these people I have known all of my life, others I have known anywhere from a few months to years (a lot of those in the 10 plus year category).

I am a collector of people, friends, if you will.

And not in a body part in the freezer kind of way, but in the relationship kind of way!

I have friends from all walks of life, all backgrounds, colors, religions and each one of them views the world from a different perspective. Each one of them near and dear to me in very different ways.

Some of them would never get along but for some of us, we tend to clump together.

No one is jealous of time spent with the others because we are secure in our relationships and where we are on this wild and insane journey together.

So if this Face book “Soul Mate” predictor can’t tell me who my soul mate is, I am sure I will be ok because I already know.

I’m fortunate to have so many I can call my soul mates on this fabulous life experience!

Have a fabulously graceless Friday! I Know I will!

 

Just a “brief” interruption….

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 10 Comments

I just Love it when someone calls and says, “You got a minute I need to tell you something I won’t take long” so you say “yes” and 20 minutes later you’re still on the phone because said person is now telling you the other 5 things they “forgot” when they called you “for a minute.

Yeah sarcasm doesn’t always translate so well in print but I hope you could feel that one!

There are many people I know with this affliction!

I call them the “just a minute callers” because Every time they tell me “it will just take a minute” and Every time it’s at least 10 or more minutes.

How do you handle that?! I mean without being rude. Which I have been on occasion because I get tired of trying to be nice all the time!

Also those people who you talk to and when it comes time for the end of the conversation to happen, they decide to launch into any and everything they can to keep you on the phone, though saying “I know you have to go but there is just one more thing I will be quick.”

“Quick?” I want to scream at them! Really! I am already behind because your entire conversation was you drawing out your words and repeating yourself and over and over again. Please stop talking!

It really is rude to hang up on people but I seriously want to the majority of the time when I get stuck on the phone with someone like this.

Don’t get me wrong, I can do it too. Usually when I haven’t talked to someone in a while and we don’t get to talk much I try to cram everything in.

However when someone tells me they have to get off the phone, I do my best to cut it short and just tell what needs to be told not all the things I want to say.

When I talk to someone on a regular basis and they repeatedly do it to me it makes me not want to talk to them anymore!

Just because I work from home people “assume” that I have time to take their calls “anytime” and that I am free to do as I please.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Anyone who works from home can tell you that you have to be disciplined to make it work. And it is Work! I may be without makeup in my comfy clothes but I am working!

Although it is somewhat “easy” for me to come up with content for my articles and blogs, it takes concentration and work. Yes, real work!

So just remember the next time you call someone and say “I will be brief I just wanted to tell you a few things” do just That then get off the phone!
Or know that I put you in the “I will take that call later cause they Always take longer than promised” category!

Also, when someone says they are “busy”, whether they are or not, respect them please as it’s obvious that they don’t have all the time in the world to chat with you so don’t keep them on the phone. Otherwise you will be wondering why your calls go to voice mail so often! Or they may just hang up on you. It is effective!

Remember sometimes brief is better!

Stay fabulously graceless my friends!

Just breathe

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes you go and you go and you go and suddenly a brick wall appears out of no where and there you are.

Smack on your booty. Sprawled across the pavement, against the window or whatever.

This is all metaphorically speaking of course!

I feel like that a lot when parenting. Or in life. Or when I haven’t seen my boy in over a week and over did it playing and can barely move! Literally.

We run errands, take care of others (family, animals, friends), work, clean, socialize and seem to be on the run constantly.

We forget to stop and smell the roses.

We forget to just breathe.

It seems so many things get in the way of having “fun”.

We start “carving time out” for “free time” but fill it with “hobbies” that seem to stress us out even more.

What happened to playing and being silly, singing for no reason and dancing in the rain?

What happened to just enjoying being?

We hold our breath hoping to get that job, for that boy to ask us to the dance, for that girl to call and we hold our breath waiting to see what the next words out of someone’s mouth is because it means “something” to us.

BREATHE.

Just Breathe.

Long, slow, deep breaths.

Sometimes it’s all that you need.

 

 

 

It’s a holiday weekend…

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 15 Comments

This means the masses will be out in droves clogging up the streets, driving crazy, doing the jeckyl & hyde thing of nice/evil and genuinely “freaking me out” because so there are so many folks out and about.

Not that there aren’t on a “normal” basis but holiday weekends tend to bring out the crazies even more I have noticed.

It is not just here in sweet home Alabama, but everywhere I have lived – coast to coast.

I have to wonder, is it like the full moon and high tides that have proven effects on people? Because that is real I know it. I’ve seen it firsthand. I have witnessed the crazy and been the crazy.

So no judging here! In my world it’s just a scale of how crazy. I mean there are the extremes: Just crazy (and oh there are variances there) and Kill you in your sleep crazy. Seriously.

But back to the holiday weekend theory, again we “celebrate” a day off on Monday.

Memorial Day.

I saw it pointed out some people think that Memorial Day is for all that have served and continue to serve our country.

It is not.

However, you should Always thank those daily for those who have and continue to serve!

Just so you’re in the know we honor them formally in November on Veterans Day. Keep up folks!

Memorial Day is for remembering those service men and women who gave ALL. Who gave their life up for our country. It is a day of respect and reflection.

It is a federal holiday but it is for Remembering those millions of service people who gave their lives so that we could have our freedoms.

Originally it was named Decoration Day after the American Civil War for  folks would go out to the cemeteries to clean and decorate the graves of those servicemen who had died for their country . The name was changed to Memorial Day in the twentieth century to include all service men and women who had died for their country while serving.

So while you are enjoying your day off work, or eating your bar-b-q and baked beans remember why we “get” this holiday.

Take a moment, just a brief moment, to give thanks to those who gave us this freedom to do as we please and say how we feel.

Try to respect your fellow human and not throttle them. Try to be of the just crazy variance please!

Here’s to a fabulous “holiday” weekend!

The United States of America: Land of the Free. Home of the Brave.