When I found out I was pregnant, I read book, magazines, articles, blogs and specialty parenting sites.

I wanted to go in with as much information as possible and continue to research and read and learn about this small creature that is my responsibility.

You read about the stages of development and somewhat think you are mentally prepared for the stages.

You know deep down that anything can happen and things won’t be like the information overload you get, but you think you’re ready.

You are not.

Trust me.

It may not happen daily but, at least for me, a few times a week my offspring catches me totally off guard but something he does or says.

The past week seems to have been full of zingers!

He is four, soon to be five in September, and of course, knows “almost everything.”

He’s very self-confident and also can be shy.

He’s outgoing and loving.

He’s funny, witty and working on his jokes.

He has a slight lisp and still have the little boy voices so things he says that are beyond his years tend to throw me off and in many cases make me laugh.

He is full on boy!

He likes to “help cook” in the kitchen and with some minor adjustments, my OCD has accommodated him in his quest to help.

He helps pick up and “cleans” because he sees me do it and he wants his toys to not disappear if he leaves them scattered about.

He watches as me to see what I do and sometimes copies my actions.

He has similar facial expressions to me.

The boy can’t hardly taking a photo without sticking out his tongue… I may have taught him that!

Since I have always worked with him on manners, the age old “yes mam, no mam, thank you mam, please” phrase has been drilled into his head and still is. We also do “yes sir…” to make sure whether male or female he knows how to respond. When he burps or poots he is to say excuse me and usually does.

But it seems all boys, and some men and females, have to verbally note when they fart.

We call it barking spiders, pooter scooters and poots. Most recently he learned the phrase “passing gas.”

He finds them all hysterical.

Sounds coming from his butt are the best in his world.

I figure give him all the cleanest terms for his body and its functions as I can while he is young.

Recently he said “Mommy I had a big barking spider come out of my anus.”

Ugh! Hopefully he will still use the term booty or butt for now!

Trying to teach him the correct names for his anatomy is a challenge!

He also copies things we say.

The other night at dinner I was trying to open a container when he busts out with, “What Are you doing child?!” in a fabulous imitation of myself.

I lost it laughing.

It was one of those laughs that’s contagious and he started laughing and I started laughing harder, then I snorted and he screeched laughing and we are both crying laughing!

I am even doing the “shhhhhhhhhhhhhh” with hysterical laughter and “please quiet” trying to gain control over my laughing.

It was semi hopeless but sometimes those laughs are the BEST feeling ever!

Every word that comes out of my mouth has to be censored when he is anywhere near me.

It’s scary.

There are times when he is all up into a movie and I am talking to someone in the other room or on the phone, thinking he isn’t paying attention but dang if he doesn’t come back a bit later and ask “mommy what did you mean by this?”

Thankfully I am hyper aware of what I say around him because I really did remember reading about “the parrot effect” of young children.

I thought it would happen earlier than now and it did to a degree.

But it seems to be building and building.

I seriously need an editor before I speak in front of him because he sometimes mixes the contexts of the word and it does not sound right!

I’m just waiting for the call from his school.

I know it’s coming!

I just have to remember to breathe and pray it isn’t over anything too bad!

No matter what I will always think of my good friend “Max” and the call she got from her sweet, angelic daughter’s daycare. “Miss Max, Ally said the “F” word!”

Then I feel a little better. For now!

Have a fabulous Thursday My Graceless Friends!

I’m recovering today from a back procedure so no idea what tomorrows post will hold!

Keep Hope Alive!