Be a better me, be a better friend…. just BEing better


friendship muhammad ali

In trying to be a better human being I have been working on me. How I react to situations, how I try to stop my mind and listen to another person, how I come across, how to have more patience and be more compassionate, how I work like hell to control my facial expressions and responses… barely over half-way into the first of 12 months and I will say some things are going fabulously well. Using my focus word/s – creative and creativity – I am viewing life from different perspectives and handling things better. In other areas I completely suck. I won’t go so far as to say complete failure but there are a few things I have let slip by that I should have already gotten done.

So here’s a newsflash, Fabulous Gracelessness is not always so fabulous. I am human and I am flawed.

Fortunately for me, so is pretty much everyone else I know. No one is immune to being flawed. No one is “perfect”. It takes some of the stress off of me, yet I still aim to be better. But definitely Not perfect.

Nope, I can’t hit that note nor am I even gonna try!

I have found those people I connect with are those people who get me and accept me for who I am. Fabulously, flaky faults and all.

The reason this works is because I accept them too.

friend weird yep i like this one

It’s a two-way street.

Let’s not get things twisted, we all have irritations and things that may or may not drive the other crazy, but it’s those very things we chose to accept about the other person. It’s saying I accept this about you and I will not hold it against you. I know you don’t do this and I don’t like that but we accept each other and respect each other. For all of the things we have in common, the differences that complement each other and the things that we don’t have to agree with but the person means more than this flaw. It isn’t a “deal-breaker”.

That level of trust and friendship. The partnerships with other human beings. That is hands down one of the coolest things about this life experience is those we share this journey with and how those relationship play out.

I have people in my life that have known me since birth and those first 10 years on the planet, to junior high and high school friends, my 20’s, 30’s and I keep finding friends. It’s just how I am. I collect people but not in the body-in-the-freezer kind of way.

frienships never change

I am fortunate in those relationships that have withstood time and situations just as I am blessed to have those new or reconnected folks in my world.

One of the things I am doing is making sure I get to get in touch and actually see some of these amazing people, my people. There are some that I don’t get to see due to distance or psycho schedules, but that I can at least talk to more on the phone.

See, it’s because I never lose hope. Keep Hope Alive. It’s my motto and it is such a part of me and who I am.

keep hope alive keeps you alive

Each day I get a little better. Each day I find my own flaws. Each day I am happy to be alive.

Have a fabulous day!

 

What a fabulously strange trip it is!


road tripping

Sometimes you just need a road trip on this journey of life.

For me, I need to recharge and refuel and I love taking the boy with me when I can. Something about driving and the sound of the tires on the pavement, sometimes conversation or not, maybe a bit of music or at times even the silence just soothes us both. I love that he shares this with me as sometimes I need to just go. As he is an extension of me, I do love taking him and seeing life through his eyes.

life adventure helen keller

This weekend the boy and I are taking a mini road trip to visit my hos his aunties and the boy is beyond excited.

I mean the kid had a pretty fabulous Christmas break with family, fun, gifts, food, late nights, Star Wars and all kinds of great things that he has talked non-stop about since the holidays.

However, Monday I told him we were going to visit the aunties in the ATL and he about lost his mind! He has literally counted down the days and asked if tomorrow is the day. He is so geeked to go that Wednesday night when he went back to karate and they asked him what was one of the best things that happened over the holidays or what gift did you love or family time, etc. my child responds. “I’m going to see my auntie Juuuuudiiiii in Atlanta and it’s always a ParTeeeeee!!!!!” Parents looked over at me and I just smiled as I am trying to explain, in whispers, to his other grandmother what he was talking about.

In his excitement of going he shares bits and pieces of his thoughts with others. Like his mother, he may sound a little crazy. (Hey, I admit my crazy!)

Case in point, “Auntie Juuuuuudi’s house is like Disneyland. I never been there, to Disneyland, before but I know it’s way awesome so her house is like that! With lots of dogs and drums and movies and toys and food! They always play with me there. They like me over there. Yeah, it’s cause I’m cute too, but I love them and they love me. Plus Auntie Rex always gets me gifts and I love her and we stay at her house cause there’s too many puppies, like that song you sing mommy, at auntie Juuuudiiii’s and auntie Jodi will die if we stay there cause I may be stinky or like that phoid mary lady that brings death if the wind blows wrong. Auntie Rex has cute puppies but only 2 and she has tiny little things she lets me Touch!” That is all pretty much said in about 2 breaths and he’s grinning from ear to ear. It also makes it sound a bit bizarre to anyone not knowing our friends. The boy talking about being in the Dark Army. Yeah, good times! Just not as easy to explain to some people who have no humor or maybe morals, I don’t know. Hasn’t messed him up yet!

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I know that those girls love me no matter what is going on. That they love my boy I have no question. They went through so many of my life challenges with me and they know what a miracle he is. Because 2 out of 4, now 5 plus, have one boy each and those “babies” are now considered “adults” and it still throws me because you think they will be young forever and then it seems like overnight they are grown and making adult decisions and  sometimes it is overwhelming! One day you’re playing with their kids and you blink and their 6’ “kid” is playing with your baby and it just throws me. For my bebe shower they made me a cake that said “Better you than me!” and that meant the world to me! They meant every word with emphasis and feeling!

We have shared so much together that raising my kid now, even thought I am a state away,  just seems normal to me.

john lennon friends i get by

Plus like me, the boy loves a road trip! Short, long, it doesn’t matter I’ve been taking him on road trips since he was a month old.

It’s been too long and it is time.

Take the chances while you can and live your life!

You never know what tomorrow will bring so enjoy what you have while you can.

Always, keep hope alive!

 

Breaking up is hard to do…


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When you’re in a relationship for a long period of time and you realize that it can’t continue the way it has been going, it can be hard to address the issues with the person you love.

Or maybe you aren’t in love with them anymore but you do love them and you don’t want to hurt them.

Or maybe it is a friendship or business relationship and it is time to end it.

Either way addressing your feelings can be hard because, if you are like me, you don’t want to hurt the other person.

Unless of course they have hurt you and then you’re trying to get back at them, and that becomes a vicious cycle that I can go on and on about but that isn’t where I am going today!

It can be hard to talk to someone who doesn’t acknowledge the problems you’re having, or worse to acknowledges certain parts, but brushes it off with either empty promises to actually do something about it or pretend it isn’t as big of an issue as it is.

That’s when things become frustrating, and could turn to “well you’ve done this to me I will get back at you this way.”

That is an easy way out in my humble opinion.

Also not very mature.

What is harder is trying, sometimes repeatedly, to address the problems and getting brushed off, lied to or shut down.

I recently had to break up with my son’s daycare, then after talking to them realized I may not want to do that. So now I am in research mode to see what the best option is for him.

I love his currently daycare but thought the other school would be better. Digging deeper I have found they aren’t all they said they were and now I am trying to do what is best for him.

A breakup is very much like that.

You try to do the best for all involved yet you know someone will be hurt no matter what you do.

You try and try and talk and talk.

But in conclusion you know it’s time to end it in some way.

You never know, maybe one day you will be able to be in each other’s life again.

Or maybe you never want to see that person again.

Personally I have been through both business and personal breakups.

Friends or lovers it doesn’t matter, it does hurt.

I have been called cold and uncaring.

Sometimes you have to shut yourself down so you don’t hurt even more than you have been. And I don’t want that person to see how hurt I am. How I allowed myself to hurt that much.

People don’t realize how deeply their words can cut.

They don’t realize that you may can take something 527 times but the 528th time you can’t do it anymore.

They often don’t realize that their actions affect more than just the two of you.

“Sorry” no longer will work when the actions happen over and over again, like a hamster in a wheel.

saying sorry

And just because you broke up with someone doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. At least not for me.

I do know some people that are like that and that is great.

I am just not wired that way.

So when they say, “breaking up is hard to do” I have to agree.

Especially when you care.

So if you have to end a relationship know it isn’t easy on either of you.

Try to give the person some credit for respecting how you feel and take into consideration what you have contributed to the demise of this situation. You may have no fault. Or you may be the reason.

But be honest. Not matter what just be honest.

Have a fabulous Wednesday my friends!

The “soul mate” predictor


There is a new “quiz” out on the Face book that’s called “who is your true soul mate?”.

You’ve no idea how much this amuses me, because if it were true it could help a lot of folks out!

However since it is by http://www.Captainquizz.com I am so sure it’s legit! *Can ya feel the sarcasm drip here?!

I had seen it but don’t do a lot of those “quizzes”, although sometime I admit that I do it just for fun.

I really wasn’t into it but was amused to see my friends enjoying doing it, and who it said their soul mate was. I admit a few friends and their mates were shown as soul mates when both of them did theirs. Kind of impressive when you think of how it matches you to your Facebook friends list!

Some friends were amused to note that their “soul mates” were, as in real life, a true, stand by you through anything friend.

Apparently, I am my sister from another mister’s soul mate! She took the test three times so it must be real!

I laughed so hard I wet myself! Just a little.

We have been in each others lives for over 35 years, since we were kids. Literally.

We went through growing up, puberty, those heinous teen years, after graduations, marriage, kids, moving far way, long distance trips, marriage, kid, divorce, death – you get the picture we are from birth to earth Steel Magnolias.

So yes I was Very amused and entertained by this.

Of course we’re soul mates! We didn’t need a dumb quiz to tell us that!

We’ve been through more madness than I will ever tell but always come out of it together!

Soul mate predictor. Ha!

Ok, I will admit I was intrigued to see if she was my soul mate so I took the quiz. Twice.

The first person was one of my moms best friends and though I love her dearly and all I just don’t see it.

Amused by it all I tried again.

This time I got said friends daughter!

I was laughing so hard I spit out my tea!

I thought it would give me the same answer but no, apparently when I take the test I have more than one soul mate.

And you know something?

I realized we do have more than one soul mate on this journey of life if we are truly lucky. Or blessed, however you see fit to look at it.

We define “soul mate” in loose terms to mean the person we are meant to spend our life with as in being a “couple”.

I know I hadn’t really thought about all of the people who are friends and family that I have “clicked” with instantly and jump straight up into their crazy and them to mine and haven’t looked back since as a “soul mate”.

It actually makes sense to me in my twisted, strange mind.

Some of these people I have known all of my life, others I have known anywhere from a few months to years (a lot of those in the 10 plus year category).

I am a collector of people, friends, if you will.

And not in a body part in the freezer kind of way, but in the relationship kind of way!

I have friends from all walks of life, all backgrounds, colors, religions and each one of them views the world from a different perspective. Each one of them near and dear to me in very different ways.

Some of them would never get along but for some of us, we tend to clump together.

No one is jealous of time spent with the others because we are secure in our relationships and where we are on this wild and insane journey together.

So if this Face book “Soul Mate” predictor can’t tell me who my soul mate is, I am sure I will be ok because I already know.

I’m fortunate to have so many I can call my soul mates on this fabulous life experience!

Have a fabulously graceless Friday! I Know I will!