Front row seating on the karma parade


Sometimes life hands you that moment you have dreamed about, watching karma in action.

No matter if you have forgiven the person for the wrongs against you, you wonder how it can be that some people can be so cruel and mean but they seem to glide on through life, not caring about the havoc they reek on others and getting away with it seemingly without consciousness nor concern for anyone but themselves.

While you continue on the path, no matter how hard and how painful, of the right and moral way to get through this havoc and hell that you allowed yourself into because you cared.

You are not the only casualty of this war, but you are at the top of the hit list.

In order to have peace of mind you have to move forward in a healthy way, not giving into the rage and anger because you know how easily you could become like the person who continues to fuel the fires though the title fight is over.

It is not easy but you have no choice to focus on making your life better and keep hope alive. The process is slow, painful and exhilarating. You find you are stronger than you ever imagined. You find patience where you thought there was no patience and strength you thought had long gone.

You finally reach that point where you no longer have any feelings… no fear, nausea, anxiety. It has all gone. You realize you are free.

You can even be around them without stressing and feeling ill.

Their power over you is gone.

You are always watchful. You know to not trust this person. But you have a place of peace now.

Then, when you are not expecting it, karma falls into your lap and gives you first row seating to one of the main events.

There are so many tentacles of what it could be but this one, oh yes this one, somehow, deep down, you knew the universe could not let them get a free pass. You knew one day this would have to surface. They will have no choice but to face the music.

Although you thought about it, dreamed of it, now that it is transpiring you do feel a tug in your mind, guilt of feeling any kind of happiness that it’s finally being stopped. They can’t hurt you in that way anymore but you still feel a tiny bit bad that it is going to be so rough for them. Then you think about all that you paid for, the heartache, tears and years. You think of how you no longer harbor hatred and wonder if they will ever find that peace.

Sadly, you realize that they may never find their compassion or peace in this life. You realize this could be just the first wave of the karma parade.

How are you supposed to feel? It isn’t up to me. I didn’t make it happen. I feel that I am supposed to be happy or relieved but honestly, I am just more in awe. The universe takes care of those who take care of others in its own time.

I know I believe.

Keep hope alive.

 

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Happy Friday! There is HOPE!


motivational friday

Don’t you love it when you have fabulous things happening but you can’t share it yet because there are still variables and you don’t want to jinx it?! Yeah, that is my life at the moment!

My Keep Hope Alive is working and on a faster scale than I expected in some areas. Things that have had no movement in months are starting to move quickly and I am scrambling to try and get myself as ready as possible to jump when the time comes!

Ahhh life with all of its joy and challenges! And of course in my life, the infamous Murphy of Murphy’s law always reminding me to keep on my toes!

I also realize that my attitude changed drastically a few months ago and I know that has attributed to my way of living and thinking. It was like I was going through the motions, but letting the challenges of life and some people get in the way of my happiness, hope and health. Once I realized and actually took action to change those things, I felt burdens lift and more positives whisper in my ear than the negatives. I admit I didn’t shut out all of those negative whispers, but I have put them in a special spot so that I can look at them and find the positive and then banish them from my life.

I got so caught up in what I needed to do and the semantics of it that I couldn’t get past it to actually finish the task completely or I would find myself forgetting things entirely. There are several factors that played into this and once I began seeing the knots in my lines, I was able to stop, reflect, write out a plan and move forward to untie the knots and move on with life. I had forgotten the simple tasks of writing down and reflecting on how to handle things. For me those are huge and a part of who I am. It shows how “off” I had been in my head and how far I have come.

another_breathes_last

I have felt somewhat adrift at times for a while now. I know that I have an amazing boy, a fabulous support system, a place to live and other wonderful things. But I was letting the negatives feed on the things in me that I wasn’t happy with, and while on the outside you would see the happy me, on the inside I wasn’t happy completely. I wasn’t at peace with myself and my world. I am so much closer. I know it takes time and patience.

Lord what a challenge patience can be for me. I have gotten better, but when you have others constantly questioning things when you yourself are waiting and trying to be patient is can be hard! Then my anxiety kicks in and I forget that peaceful spot in my soul. However, I am now getting better at redirecting myself. I talked about how I do it in caregiving, yet I wasn’t always practicing in my own life and with myself. Once I snagged that piece of the knotted line and untangled it I have found it easier to breathe. Moving forward is much easier now. I am still scared at times. We never know what the next moment holds. I do know that I am not as fearful or lost as I have been.

I know that there is HOPE for me and my life. I hope that by sharing you can also know that it takes time but dreams, hopes and miracles do happen. Trust me. I am proof!

As soon as I am able I will share the good things happening.

Right now I am sharing my hope that you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!

Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!

You are worth it to invest in yourself and find your inner peace.

You are not alone.

love heals love is all there is