Don’t you love it when you have fabulous things happening but you can’t share it yet because there are still variables and you don’t want to jinx it?! Yeah, that is my life at the moment!
My Keep Hope Alive is working and on a faster scale than I expected in some areas. Things that have had no movement in months are starting to move quickly and I am scrambling to try and get myself as ready as possible to jump when the time comes!
Ahhh life with all of its joy and challenges! And of course in my life, the infamous Murphy of Murphy’s law always reminding me to keep on my toes!
I also realize that my attitude changed drastically a few months ago and I know that has attributed to my way of living and thinking. It was like I was going through the motions, but letting the challenges of life and some people get in the way of my happiness, hope and health. Once I realized and actually took action to change those things, I felt burdens lift and more positives whisper in my ear than the negatives. I admit I didn’t shut out all of those negative whispers, but I have put them in a special spot so that I can look at them and find the positive and then banish them from my life.
I got so caught up in what I needed to do and the semantics of it that I couldn’t get past it to actually finish the task completely or I would find myself forgetting things entirely. There are several factors that played into this and once I began seeing the knots in my lines, I was able to stop, reflect, write out a plan and move forward to untie the knots and move on with life. I had forgotten the simple tasks of writing down and reflecting on how to handle things. For me those are huge and a part of who I am. It shows how “off” I had been in my head and how far I have come.
I have felt somewhat adrift at times for a while now. I know that I have an amazing boy, a fabulous support system, a place to live and other wonderful things. But I was letting the negatives feed on the things in me that I wasn’t happy with, and while on the outside you would see the happy me, on the inside I wasn’t happy completely. I wasn’t at peace with myself and my world. I am so much closer. I know it takes time and patience.
Lord what a challenge patience can be for me. I have gotten better, but when you have others constantly questioning things when you yourself are waiting and trying to be patient is can be hard! Then my anxiety kicks in and I forget that peaceful spot in my soul. However, I am now getting better at redirecting myself. I talked about how I do it in caregiving, yet I wasn’t always practicing in my own life and with myself. Once I snagged that piece of the knotted line and untangled it I have found it easier to breathe. Moving forward is much easier now. I am still scared at times. We never know what the next moment holds. I do know that I am not as fearful or lost as I have been.
I know that there is HOPE for me and my life. I hope that by sharing you can also know that it takes time but dreams, hopes and miracles do happen. Trust me. I am proof!
As soon as I am able I will share the good things happening.
Right now I am sharing my hope that you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!
Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!
You are worth it to invest in yourself and find your inner peace.
You are not alone.