Peaceful, patient Monday Christmas countdown


Sometimes I can’t believe how fast time moves. And other times it is so slow,

I can’t believe we are only days away from Christmas. I try to be so positive and sometimes plans and life just don’t work out the way you want them to.

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Sometimes I have to set a course for what is best for me and mine. It isn’t always the easiest course but in my soul I know it’s the best one for me. I may not always be able to articulate it to others, and I am learning that is okay.

I just have to get through and I have to be me. it may seem selfish or like I am dropping my basket some, and I do, though not everyone sees that either. But I will pick it up and move on, because it is what I choose to do.

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Whatever course I take I know I will do the absolute best as I see it for everyone. Each life touches another. Sometimes the link falls but if we are true and patient the link falls back into place. Patience is hard and can be extremely hard this time of year. We miss those we love, we get irritated at others, we lash out when we don’t need to and don’t speak when we do. Finding a peaceful balance is what is the hardest to do. Yet I never give up. I keep hope alive. Always.

I have an amazing miracle as well as so many others to never give up and always, always have HOPE.

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Wishing you all a peaceful, patient Monday my fabulous friends.

 

Happy Friday! There is HOPE!


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Don’t you love it when you have fabulous things happening but you can’t share it yet because there are still variables and you don’t want to jinx it?! Yeah, that is my life at the moment!

My Keep Hope Alive is working and on a faster scale than I expected in some areas. Things that have had no movement in months are starting to move quickly and I am scrambling to try and get myself as ready as possible to jump when the time comes!

Ahhh life with all of its joy and challenges! And of course in my life, the infamous Murphy of Murphy’s law always reminding me to keep on my toes!

I also realize that my attitude changed drastically a few months ago and I know that has attributed to my way of living and thinking. It was like I was going through the motions, but letting the challenges of life and some people get in the way of my happiness, hope and health. Once I realized and actually took action to change those things, I felt burdens lift and more positives whisper in my ear than the negatives. I admit I didn’t shut out all of those negative whispers, but I have put them in a special spot so that I can look at them and find the positive and then banish them from my life.

I got so caught up in what I needed to do and the semantics of it that I couldn’t get past it to actually finish the task completely or I would find myself forgetting things entirely. There are several factors that played into this and once I began seeing the knots in my lines, I was able to stop, reflect, write out a plan and move forward to untie the knots and move on with life. I had forgotten the simple tasks of writing down and reflecting on how to handle things. For me those are huge and a part of who I am. It shows how “off” I had been in my head and how far I have come.

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I have felt somewhat adrift at times for a while now. I know that I have an amazing boy, a fabulous support system, a place to live and other wonderful things. But I was letting the negatives feed on the things in me that I wasn’t happy with, and while on the outside you would see the happy me, on the inside I wasn’t happy completely. I wasn’t at peace with myself and my world. I am so much closer. I know it takes time and patience.

Lord what a challenge patience can be for me. I have gotten better, but when you have others constantly questioning things when you yourself are waiting and trying to be patient is can be hard! Then my anxiety kicks in and I forget that peaceful spot in my soul. However, I am now getting better at redirecting myself. I talked about how I do it in caregiving, yet I wasn’t always practicing in my own life and with myself. Once I snagged that piece of the knotted line and untangled it I have found it easier to breathe. Moving forward is much easier now. I am still scared at times. We never know what the next moment holds. I do know that I am not as fearful or lost as I have been.

I know that there is HOPE for me and my life. I hope that by sharing you can also know that it takes time but dreams, hopes and miracles do happen. Trust me. I am proof!

As soon as I am able I will share the good things happening.

Right now I am sharing my hope that you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!

Never forget to Keep Hope Alive!

You are worth it to invest in yourself and find your inner peace.

You are not alone.

love heals love is all there is

 

Monday, oh Monday, what will you bring today?


 

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In my grade school yearbook there was a quote, “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

I have thought of that quote often in my life, and heck to be honest, oftentimes agree with it!

However, I don’t think going into my day thinking, “I will be down because it’s raining or Monday” is isn’t healthy.

In fact, I question why it was put into a school yearbook because looking back, it’s kind of a negative quote. I mean it would be fine to be said by a cartoon character, but this was grade school as in K-6!

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and working to figure out some semblance of what I truly need to be doing that I am not.

I have learned that since I don’t have a “normal” 9-5 job I take on way more than I can get done because I think I don’t have the same time constraints.

I will think I can somehow get more done and end up running around in circles getting only 2 of 10 items done that need to get done!

There are the things that I always get done, dinner for the boy, bath, etc. but then there are things I have let slip through the cracks like getting the closets cleaned out and getting rid of clothes and toys that are no longer needed. (I “started” the clothes and toy project many months ago! Nowhere close to finished!)

One of my friends who works from home suggested I start a list.

Now those that know me know this is ironic because Lists are my thing!

I do write them for things I need to get done, besides the grocery list, and do get things check off.

However I haven’t been doing a “work” list and I am happy to say I actually outlined and started one for this upcoming week.

It’s hard to balance working for yourself, helping others, volunteering and of course raising my son.

Often I will think I can move one project to another day and then I forget that I moved it and the project doesn’t get done. Clothes and toys are a fine example!

Trying to line up my priorities has been chaotic and at times painful.

I am a people pleaser. Sometimes to my detriment.

Recently, I was told I waste too much time on my writing, my child and taking care of others.

That statement stopped me in my tracks though.

Saying I “waste too much time” on my child will get you a one way ticket to “you need to go. Now. Far away from me.”

As far as my writing and taking care of others, well, the same person told me that too. I don’t want or need that type of negativity in my life.

Looking back I think they were jealous that I spent time other than with them and so they set out to say hurtful things to me.

Why do we feel the need to tear others down when we don’t get what we want?

It seems far more common these days than in the past.

We live in a more fast paced and disposable society.

People expect everything “right now” and “made to order” and if something or someone isn’t how they perceive it should be it is immediately “wrong” and needs to be “fixed” and they should be “compensated” for their time.

What about my time?

I remember being taught “patience is a virtue” and it’s a hard one believe me!

I’m trying to teach my 4 almost 5 year old son this now.

And kids don’t always have a lot of patience at times!

Lately he seems to be getting it though.

Last week we were having dinner and I realized I was supposed to have a conference call, was trying to wrap up dinner, get him in the tub and ready for bed and I got a bit snappy with him. “Hurry up we have a schedule to follow.”

“Calm down. Breathe mommy. Is it worth it for you to get so upset?”

Wow. Having a 4 year old genuinely ask you the same question I have asked him took me off guard.

I did calm down and breathe. I told him he was right and it wasn’t worth it to get upset and be snappy to him and apologized. He replied with, “It’s ok mama, you’re always doing stuff for me and everyone else and making sure I’m ok, someone has to take care of you too and I am going to do that.”

Talk about making me tear up!

Maybe I am getting this parenting thing.

I know I will inevitably make mistakes, but I am praying that I can keep on with this progress of teaching him to be a good human being.

Kids learn by example so I must be doing a decent job!

So Monday, whatever you throw my way, I will conquer and succeed!

For all of the mistakes, screw ups and mishaps I make, I seem to be doing something right!

For me it’s one of the most important “something’s” I can do!

I chose to take Monday as a new slate, a fresh start and move forward… Always keepin’ hope alive!

Have a fantastically fabulous Monday my friends!

 

How do you look at Monday’s? I’m curious as to how others face a new week!