Broken promises
Conditional love
Adoration
Delusions
Judgment
Forever
I am wrong
Your flaws
My flaws
My sins are greater
I’m selfish
It was my fault
Make others pay for anger against me
Selfish
Thoughtless
Then I stood up for me and mine
I said take me as I am or walk away
You walked away
I am strong
I don’t give up
I keep hope alive
I am the Phoenix
I will rise from the ashes
In the world of smart phones and instant access to upload anything to the World Wide Web, people have become obsessed with the selfies and photographing of themselves to share with everyone and “sometimes” just with their “friends”.
I understand folks make money at it and it’s entertaining that they are from all walks of life.
I’m not too much of a selfie kind of person. Really. Taking photos with my boy, friends and family is more of what I take photos of. Yes, I guess a few selfies here and there (snapchat anyone?!) to share with friends, and when I got glasses or am being goofy, but taking photos of myself all the time is not my thing.
It’s amusing at times, but I prefer not thanks.
I had to get a photo for my badge at work made. It was hideous and sometimes I really think I look like a crazed lunatic with this wild hair and when I smile I look pained or like I need medication stat.
I have talked with several people through emails and texts over the years now and am greatly amused when I get selfies of friends. Something that is more entertaining is males that feel the need to flood my in-box or texts with photos of themselves. It’s a wee bit creepy.
My sister and I send each other selfies being goofy or “does this look ok? Tell me if I look like a hooker” selfie but that is the kind of selfie I am more familiar with. Those in the moment selfies not the look at me kind… you know?
So I decided to experiment with the selfie in the mirror type because up until this blog, I have never done it. I was laughing so hard at myself a few photos in because of the poor quality of the mirror, it needed to be cleaned, it was late and I needed sleep! I was experimenting with how much effort some folks put into these selfies. I probably took maybe 20 and only kept 5. Scary I tell you!!
I laugh because I just don’t put that much effort into it. I realized I am more of an “in the moment” kind of person when it comes to this. I am not a “plan out a selfie session” person. That requires more effort than I want to spend taking a photo of myself and more time than I have other than amusing social experimentation!
I really am in awe of these people that do it and actually touch it up with special apps! I’m all proud of myself for cropping and maybe one of those free filters that’s on the smarter-than-me phone.
I realize selfies are a part of how some people are.
I also realize that I am not that way. However, I am sharing a few of the selfies from my experiment! Enjoy and remember these are the select few that made the cut! I also kept the camera in the photos so you could tell it is an actual selfie! Isn’t that the point?!
Have a fabulous day and keep hope alive!
I love that whole throw back Thursday #TBT thing.
It does amuse me. It’s like that whole memories thing that Facebook added to remind you of what you posted so that you can recall those memories from however many years ago it was not only when you posted them, but of what they are of.
I enjoy pulling from my own collection is fun too. Remembering when the photograph was taken and what was happening in my world during that time.
I thought that I would share a few with my Fabulous Graceless friends and give you all a good laugh!
The one at the top is when I was around 4 or 5. I have always loved to read and apparently my family found it entertaining to take a photo of me doing so!
I didn’t change anything from the original photo, not in any of them, so you could enjoy the actual photos as they are.
The other is of me when I was nearing 17. During what I now consider the beat up your body stages! Who knew that all the gymnastics, from age 5, to cheering, tennis and other sports into my 20’s would create such havoc on my body now! Ahhhhh youth and good joints!
I hope you all have a fabulous ThrowBackThursday!
Keep Hope Alive!
Today a last breath was taken
There were never be another breath for them on this astral plane
So many behind who feel the pain
The vastness of the empty space
Missing looks upon a loving face
A face you’ve seen so often before
Gone in a breath, not present anymore
The person that was once here
Is lost to us for the rest of our years
The grief is strong it pulls you down
Lost and broken upon the ground
The spirit tugs with all of its might
Saying to you stand up and still fight
For you it’s not over, this isn’t the end
Remember and love with family and friends
Cherish each breath for you never can know
The one that’s the last one until it’s your time to go
*in love and memory of all of those who have passed*
I should know by now to not expect life to go as I planned or scheduled but sometimes I just have to question my sanity… or maybe I am question the sanity or lack thereof regarding others.
Life definitely keeps me on my toes.
I think I am going to turn right and end up having to go left. A whole over the river and through the woods adventure complete with mini personal stops tossed in. Add in lack of substance and it makes for caffeine infused and filterless Lady Maos! Yee-haw friends welcome to the week!
Of course the bonus is the boy is home! Seems he had an adventurous weekend as well! It’s so entertaining to hear him tell me what he does when he isn’t with me. He’s working on details and it’s hilariously amusing to see what he will say before reverting to potty talk… literally!
Lately it seems so many people are ill with some form of sickness or another. Loved ones and friends, myself included, by age, illnesses – some worse than others but everyone’s a fighter.
We are also getting more clients, which is great, but I’m required to keep everything within this “hourly” thing when I prefer “salary” because then any extras I do it doesn’t matter when I do an average of at least 4 extra hours a week but don’t necessarily care for the monetary gain.
It’s more than that. It’s the fulfillment of helping others and making lives gel. It’s helping others to remember their own humanity. It is beyond humbling and personal when you are helping someone with their activities of daily living… cleaning, bathing, grooming, bathroom, meal preparation, feeding – those are only a few of the things we do. We dance lightly through tangled webs of family dynamics to make sure our clients are cared for, no matter what is going on around them. Some are for a few hours a week, others are 5 days a week, and then there are those we are with 24/7. Some people see us more than their own family. I love what I do. It is a part of who I am.
I also have my personal relationships and of course, the boy. The shining beacon in my world who keeps me much more grounded and helps somewhat in that filter thing I have issues with.
It is like I have to go through and around, down and under to get back to me. Re-set and go! Not starting over, just back on the path to where I am supposed to be.
I should know by now but sometimes I forget finding my way back to me.
I may slow down however, I never give up. I always keep hope alive!
Have a fabulous day!
Try not to get lost finding your way back to you my fabulously graceful friends!
Today we start a brand new week
Dancing fast, no cheek to cheek
Answering phones, taking care of all
I listened to my heart and took the call
To help those in need and care for others
Because we are all sisters and brothers
As I step into this complex role
I don’t forget who I am deep in my soul
A daughter, sister, mother and friend
Someone who stays until the end
Have a fabulous day and Keep Hope Alive!
Thoughts go around inside of my mind, laughter madness a sing song rhyme
My emotions run back and forth through time
Happiness, sadness, joy and fear
Learning more with each passing year
Finding myself and losing another
Remembering we are all sisters and brothers
Mothers and fathers, daughters and sons
Familial bonds throughout the ruins
Assigned and chosen, both sides together
Stronger than granite yet light as a feather
My hope and my prayer is Keep Hope Alive
For I know through it all that I will survive.
Hello my Fabulously Graceless Friends!
I hope this lovely Saturday you find happiness, hope and peace at some point this fine day.
I hope that these very words make you smile.
I hope that you can let go of your pain, your hurt and your worries and just enjoy Be-ing for a few moments.
I hope you find beauty in something, somewhere.
I hope you smile.
I hope you remember to keep hope alive even in the most challenging times. Just remember to breathe.
I hope you all have a fantastically, fabulous Saturday!
Ahhhh Friday! The “last” day of the work week… unless you have to work or are on-call, which in my case, means working!
However, I am choosing to make this Friday Fabulous! No matter what!
It’s been a rough couple of months weeks and I am going to just be. Let whatever happens happen and do my best to not get ruffled by the winds of change and life.
I only have control over so much and also I have absolutely no control over others. I get in a funk when the boy isn’t home. I tend to throw myself into work or projects that need to be done and not just let myself rest and re-charge like I need to.
I don’t enjoy too many public outings, yet I crave humanity. Not an overwhelming abundance of folks but a select few… which is what makes it so challenging that I am not the one who gets to select the folks I would like to see these days or so it seems. I have a lot of interaction regarding work, but not so much on a personal level. I really need to work on that!
It’s just so hard to commit to plans when you know that you will also be working. It can annoy some people who may assume being on call is just taking a few calls when in actuality, for me, ends up being several hours or even all day. I would rather not make plans so that I’m not disappointed when I have to break them.
But hey, it’s Friday! So I am going to make the most of trying to relax in between calls.
I always keep hope alive!
After all, we are all superheroes! Some of us sprinkled with a bit more maos and crazy than others!
Have a fantastically, fabulous Friday!
Today is superhero day at the boy’s school. He is under the impression that I need to dress up as well. Even though, in his mind, I am a superhero every day. Today I am supposed to “show the world” my superhero self.
I keep telling him no one wants to see mommy in costume but he disagrees. It isn’t that I don’t like to dress up, but wearing a costume to work when it isn’t Halloween won’t go over too well. I am sure my boss would be amused, but some of my client’s not so much.
I love that my son thinks I am a superhero. He says I am his own personal superhero.
He truly believes when I go and help “take care of people” that I am being a superhero. I told him I am still just his mommy and trying to help others as much as I can.
I told him I mess up, I make mistakes and sometimes I let people down. He knows I am not perfect. He has seen me mess up, lose my cool and fall apart. He loves me unconditionally as I love him. It amazes me that he always wants to be with me even when I get onto him when he does wrong. He informed me it’s because I tell him when he is wrong and I also tell him I love him no matter what. He can grasp the importance of messing up, learning from his mistakes and having those who love you still love you even when you mess up.
He looked at me with his sweet, innocent face and said, “Mommy, you are human. You tell me no one is perfect. Even you. But I think you are perfect for me.” He is so right. No one is perfect. But on those amazingly rare occasions, we are perfect for each other.
That it took a 5 year old to remind me of something so profound and true tells me I must be doing something right.
So today, find your inner superhero! And recognize those who are everyday superheroes. You never know who it may be.
Keep hope alive for a fabulous day!
fabulousgracelessness 