Happy fabulous Friday after Thanksgiving!
Know to some as “Black Friday”, of which I am not partaking of thank you very much, but This Friday, today, is the 200th post of Fabulous Gracelessness!
Yes, I have been writing so much that it is now up to 200 on this blog and I have followers! LOL like less than 50, but I have them and I am thrilled with each one. It’s hard to believe people actually enjoy reading what I write and put out into the universe! I know that not everyone likes everything, I may also be a bit delusional but I do know there are some of my posts that weren’t as good as others. Sometimes I go back and read my stuff and think, “what was going on in my maotic, twisted head to write that?!”
Just to clarify, I write how I feel and what I think about life as I see it. Sometimes I will expound upon some subjects with references and information or links to other sites. I write poems and personal essays and thoughts. It can be random and often I get passionate about my thoughts. I know I tend to ramble too! I am working on it.
I had no clue what I was getting into when I decided to blog. I had been laid off work, was recovering from major surgery and was doing a lot of soul searching. I had an active 4, now 5-year-old boy, who I am challenged to keep up with but would not trade anything for him and the bond and love we share. I have always kept journals, I’ve written for several newsletters, written articles, poems, short stories and other random bits. I love to just write. I was writing a few articles and getting paid a tiny bit when I realized I could somewhat come up with things on the fly with a deadline. If I could do that, I certainly could do a blog. I have an amazing friend who kept encouraging me and nudging, without actually screaming to my face haha, to at least try it. I thought how hard could it be to write a blog?
So I jumped.
Free falling does not describe the thrill, frustration yet peace that I get from writing.
It is a challenge to meet my daily post quota. I have learned to plan ahead, and try to keep a few back, which isn’t hard because I have so many things running through my mind I want to write about! It is hard when I haven’t written said topics down and it may or may not be in one of the 5 or 6 notebooks I carry around with me! If I am out and about and a topic comes to mind, I try to write it down. I also use the voice to text for my notes but more times than not I can’t decipher what Simon (the male Siri) took down. I don’t think he understands southern as well as I thought! Sometimes he can be spot on.
Plus there is the time involved to actually do it daily! I want to keep my readers engaged and maybe, just maybe, touch one person and make them think and realize they are not alone.
After all it is my blog and, while I have it, free speech shall flourish here! My thoughts, my mind, my maos, this fabulously, graceless, crazy mama from Alabama whose life motto is Keep Hope Alive! That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but stranger! We are not alone! Life throws us some crazy curves and we have to deal with them the best way we can. We are blessed if we have others in our lives to help us and walk with us along the way!
I never thought my life would go the way it did but I truly couldn’t be happier! Yes, things still stress me out, but I believe that things can and do get better once you get through all the mental crap that tells you that you can’t! You can! It may be hard as hell, and you may just have to walk through it, but you will get out if you Believe in yourself. It is the first step and also can be the hardest.
I started writing my blog when I was basically at a very low place in my life. Writing and holding myself accountable made me want to do it better and keep going.
Since I started writing, I have better relationships with the people in my life, I am still scatterbrained and flaky at times, but I am also finding I am stronger and more organized. It is still a process and it is literally one step at a time many days, but I am moving forward. I wanted to get a job writing and I wanted to take care of people. I got both just a bit differently than I envisioned but it is better than I could imagine. I found love and a peace I haven’t had before. I feel I am a better mama to the boy. I am finding my patience and learning more about the complexities of myself daily. I often pull from personal experience or situations that are close to me. It’s nice to hear friends and family say, “Don’t put this in your blog! Or if you do change my name!” it fulfills me in ways I didn’t know I need to be fulfilled.
So on this Black Friday, I am celebrating with my loves and not shopping… unless it’s for food or maybe ice-cream!
I will keep cranking out my maotic thoughts and working toward the goal of 1,000 posts! Only 800 more to go!
I hope you all have a fabulously wonderful Friday!
As always, Keep Hope Alive!!!
sweet home Alabama
Have a happy maotic, madness Monday!
Greeting from the land of the maotic Monday!
I hope you all had a fantastically, fabulous weekend!
Mine was filled with love, fun and maos of course! I really need to remember my limitations but seem to be pushing myself further and more than I should. I just can’t help it. I am paying for it but every moment was worth it. Except the20- minutes it took me to go 2 miles due to traffic Friday evening. That I can do without thank you very much!
Looking forward I realized it’s all downhill from here… Thanksgiving is next week, then we jump right into the Christmas season.
On the plus side I have heard more and more people talking about NOT going out on Thanksgiving night to Christmas shop for those bargain deals and hearing of more and more retailers having online sales and of not being opened Thanksgiving evening. Something I am opposed to for numerous reasons. It’s enough that medical and law enforcement have to work but I don’t see why people can’t wait a few more hours so that people can actually have a whole day off from the retail!
I also got fabulous news on the career front and I will be going back to work full-time like people do starting the Monday after Thanksgiving! It’s been a bit of a roller coaster of a ride of life regarding employment for me.
Last year, during this month, I was laid off from my “corporate respectable decent paying” full time job. I didn’t let it phase me too much. In part, I was somewhat relieved as I honestly couldn’t see myself in that industry for the rest of my life. I had a bit in savings, however, as we all know, life is not free. So I signed up for unemployment. That’s only 6 months for those who think it lasts a year(s) that isn’t the case here in the great state of Alabama. Plus, is it a tiny fraction of what you made so I began looking for work.
I was blessed to find care giving jobs. I also went on interviews, sent out literally hundreds of resumes and corresponded with several potential employers. The only decent/good one is the one I have now working in the care giving industry part-time which sadly doesn’t pay a lot. I have generated funds selling a long respected line of beauty products, yes fabulously graceless loves her skincare products, as well as a handful of writing jobs here and there but have constantly been looking.
When I did the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, a friend sent an email about another potential caregiver position and went in to apply for the job. The owner and I hit it off immediately and chatted away. I felt pretty good I would get clients from them and hopefully even some office work down the road.
That was 3 weeks ago. Last week I got a call from him wanting to “pick my brain”. After talking for 45 minutes, neither of us realizing it had been that long because we were talking about work but it’s with that passion you find with people who believe like you do that people deserve and should receive the best care possible, how challenging Alzheimer’s disease is, how employees should perform and how each case varied but the compassion should be there no matter what… so my hope grew a bit bigger after that conversation but I didn’t want to jinx or say anything because well, I have that Murphy dude who likes to mess with me so I wasn’t saying anything! Then I got the call Thursday evening and it was a go and my start date! Talk about the happy dance!
My biggest concerns, of course, were telling the employers and clients I have now I will no longer be able to be with them. It was easier telling my employer than I thought and she congratulated me as she understood why I was branching out. Telling Miss Candy and my knitting friends I won’t be able to go on Mondays anymore will be a bit harder. So say a little prayer for me on that part today! I tend to get close to my clients. There is a lot of trust between caregiver and patient. It isn’t always easy. I even think about the clients who were only in my care a time or two and hope they are well.
With my new adventure I will be able to work with the families as well as the caregivers. Being on both sides of the coin I am excited to start my new adventure. I am also a bit nervous because I know what’s expected of me. I know I can do it. I always have HOPE!
I Hope you all have a fabulous Monday!
Keep Hope Alive!!!
Happy Veterans Day – Go Thank a Veteran for your Freedom!
Today is a day that we should all stop and thank our Veterans. We should give thanks daily, but especially today. We need them to hear and know that we are thankful to their service as well as all they continue to give as a result of that service for our freedom.
Because of Veterans I am able to write about anything that I want without persecution from the law.
Because of Veterans I am allowed to live freely, and as a woman, without fear of retribution walking outside my home and being about to go where ever I please. I can vote, work, volunteer and be respected as a member of the community.
I raise my son knowing he has great men and women to inspire him because they chose to live their lives for the freedom of others. I can teach him and he can/will/does learn of others who sacrificed their time, their families and even their very lives so that he could be free.
Recently he asked me why we recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I told him that people had fought and died for us to have that right and so we would be free and they continue to fight and die. I told him every time you place your hand over your heart and say the pledge, it’s like talking to God and it was a time to be respectful and reflect on your freedoms and be thankful.
I told him he was free to play and learn and grow without fear of his family being taken from him, wrongly accused or killed because we have a justice system. It may have flaws but I have to teach him about these things. He was free because of our Veterans. When I walk up and thank a soldier in uniform he sees that. He is starting to better understand why I walk up to a complete stranger and say, “Thank you.” I am a parent and I see it as my duty not only to myself and my son, but to our country and our Veterans.
He understands that Veterans are “regular” looking people. His great grandfather, great uncles, grandfather, father, uncles, some cousins and friends (male and female) are Veterans. He is also starting to “understand” more of what it is to be a Veteran and the cost of service.
I want to Thank All of the Veterans in my life from the bottom of my heart.
my first Veteran, my Papa – Merchant Marines 1942/3
Thank you to any Veteran who may be reading my post.
Please know there are many of us civilians out here who truly are grateful for all that you do and have done. And we are also teaching our children and the younger generation to respect and understand what you so selflessly gave up for our freedom.
Bless you All and have a Fabulous Day!
Keep Hope Alive
Happy Football Saturday!
Happy football Saturday!
Here in sweet home Alabama it is a Big football day for the Crimson Tide!
We play LSU and I have to say to my LSU friends, I love you but we need to understand it’s a game and I will be hollering Roll Tide no matter what the outcome of the game is all day and night. It is the way it is.
Maybe because when I was younger I went to an Alabama vs LSU game with my sister, her dad and brother. Alabama was losing badly and when we scored 3 points I jumped up screaming and hollering, happy my team had scored at all, when this absolutely ass of a fan next to me screamed for me to sit down and shut up. Shocked I sat down but still clapped, looking sideways to my left at this jerk of a human. It was a football game. I was used to the rivalry between Alabama and Auburn. I enjoyed it and whomever won I’ve always enjoyed the games. I know that we were playing poorly but come on, I wasn’t up in his face like he was mine taunting me about how crappy my team was. (Actually it was pretty raunchy and I was about 14 so it was kind of shocking to me but I played it cool.) It seems I wasn’t the only one watching him. Both LSU and Bama fans were watching as were my sister’s father, brother and security.
When we scored again getting us a tiny bit closer to their lead I lept up screaming with glee! That’s when the shit got real. Mr. LSU Jerk of the Year jumped up and grabbed my arm and screamed, “I told you to sit down and shut up!” He also included a few more adjective I won’t subject y’all to but you get the drift. The next thing I knew I felt my body being lifted and pulled to the right, saw people approaching from all sides, and then saw him lift his arm to hit someone, but he quickly went down! He was escorted from the game by officers. I was a bit shaken up but continued to scream for my team even though we lost that game.
The ride home was surreal. It seems Big J, sister’s “dad” and Little J, her brother, had moved her and got to me in seconds and were going for the jerk. Apparently, unbeknownst to them, security and several fans, of both sides, were waiting for him to blow and jumped into action when he grabbed me and started screaming at me. I will forever be grateful to all of those folks who jumped to my rescue.
I continue to look sideways at crazy football fans after that experience. Being from the south, I understand how important football is. How being loyal and believing in a team can feel. You share your wins and losses and always remain true. Well most people! I understand the rivalry and the thrill of it. The good natured teasing and hopefully claiming the champion title. I GET IT! I do.
But sometimes folks take it way too far. They get mean. They really hate people for their love for another team and their loyalty saying they can’t understand why they love that team so much when theirs is so much better. I have to wonder if they don’t look at themselves for that answer and reverse the question! Then sometimes that take it way to far, like grabbing a kid because they don’t want the other team to score at all even though their team is beating the crap out of them. They don’t want Anyone on that team to have any happiness and joy so they try their damnedest to control it.
Guess what? It never works out well.
I did learn there are some great LSU fans out there. Quality folks who I have met, befriended and enjoy the usual rival during football time. No matter who wins, we always have our friendship.
I guess I am trying to say no matter who your team is and who you are playing or don’t like, remember there are real people on both sides that care not only about the game, but other people as well. So when you say you hate *insert team* you are saying that you hate everyone that stands with them. Then you are ostracizing an entire group of people over a football game. You could be missing out on potential friends, spouse or employers. Now due to your hate you could possible damage happiness in your own life. Not such a good idea and definitely not healthy!
So everyone let’s try to remember we are all human and this is a game.
That being said ROLL TIDE BABY! Let’s bring it one! No matter what let’s have Fun!
Always Keep Hope Alive!
Happy November, All Saints Day and Day of the Innocents/Day of the Dead
Welcome to the first day of November, All Saints Day and the Day of the Innocents, the first day of Day of the Dead.
I hope everyone has recovered from their Halloween shenanigans and that you are thus far having a fabulous day.
We also did the changing of the clock and fell back an hour. I am not sure how I feel about it yet but will keep you posted!
Here in sweet home Alabama we are getting some much needed rain and our temperatures are getting more fall like. Of course this is Alabama so it could be rainy and cold today and get warm again this week! I personally hope we get to keep the cool weather around for a bit. I love the fall weather. Our trees are still changing and beautiful. Daily it seems there is a colorful carpet in the yard yet our trees still have beautiful colors and leaves left to fall. It’s that in-between phase where they have changed colors but not yet completely and although some trees are a bit more barren than others, we still have a good amount of leaves on the trees. The contrast is amazingly beautiful.
It is also Sunday, what some consider a day of rest. I am hoping to get some things done to ready for the upcoming week and also rest! I am hoping that the boy will be down for a low key day today. After all of the running we did yesterday, he needs a day of rest before jumping back into a “regular” week! After all, he got to dress up for the past 3 days! Today we all may be in a bit of a sugar coma. We don’t eat a lot of sugar so the past few days have been like a free for all in the candy department!
I wish you all a fabulously, beautiful Sunday!
Always remember to keep hope alive!
Stay Fabulous!
Lady Maos
Life can change in an instant
In an instant it can all change. Your plans, you very life can change. All with a phone call, text or personal visit.
I may be graceless but I try to work on a schedule, which is harder now that I do freelance and work for myself. So when I schedule time for things, I reschedule other things and even tack on extra things to sometimes get yet another thing taken care of. The schedule is flexible and I juggle but I do pretty well most of the time. If something changes I can go with the flow and make arrangements to reschedule and work around the other things.
My original plans for this weekend included much overdue time needed with my girls, a bit of organization and many laughs and good friends. Since I was already going to be in the area, I also scheduled a needed doctor appointment prior to the getting together.
Then came the text I didn’t want to get. My friend’s aunt had passed. Although it was early in the week, I knew that our plans for the weekend would change. I knew she needed to be there for her family and I want her to be. She was apologizing to me for having to cancel. And asking if I would let our other friend know, she was coming in from yet another state, that she had to cancel and was sorry. This lady is quality let me tell you! Here she is with the loss of her beloved aunt, having to pack up and travel to another state and worrying about canceling plans with 2 friends. 2 friends who are immediately asking what we can do and saying not to worry, and meaning it, that of course we can re-schedule. Yes, you can call on your way there or anytime you need to talk! I feel for her and her family. It is hard enough when someone we love passes, it is also hard to coordinate your life, you job, your spouse/partner and family to be gone for several days to mourn the passing of your loved one. It takes it out of you both emotionally and physically. You deal with relatives, friends, people you haven’t seen in years or some you have never met and are meeting finally for the first time. It is bittersweet as you know it is the one you love who brought everyone together and they are no longer here
Of course we are sad we aren’t getting together and able to do the things we had “planned” to do, however certain things take precedence over “plans”. Life Happens.
When my daddy died I was devastated. We all knew it was coming, and coming soon. We were blessed in respect to knowing that it would be quick and hopefully painless. It was fortuitous that I was there with my daddy, close family and friends when he left this plane. A part of my life was on hold while we took care of The Final Arrangements for my father. I called into work to let them know what was happening, I still took care of the boy, but was also helping my mom, uncle, brother and aunt as they were helping me. We are all trying to just get through, even with a “plan” for this event, it was not an “easy” process. I am grateful to family and friends that stepped up, either through actions or just kind words or gestures, of being there for me. My “little sister” Wucy took over packing up my home in TN before driving to AL with her wonderful fiancé for the services. She then helped the day of the funeral when our home turned into an impromptu large gathering of friends, family and business associates of my dad and family. There were so many people there that wanted to share their memory and be with others who loved and respected him. The night before the funeral it snowed. There were ice storms in the surrounding areas and there was concern we needed to move the funeral time. Fortunately, the day of the streets around us were clear enough for us to make it to the church and then to the cemetery and home safely. It was those little things that got us through, but now we were facing a different reality than the one we had previously. In an instant my mother went from married to widowed. In an instant, my brother and I no longer had a father and my uncle no longer had a brother. We knew it was coming as my dad had been fighting a brave fight against cancer for a second time. It did not make it any easier when the moment came and he wasn’t with us any longer. We were glad he was no longer suffering, but also upset that we were no longer here to share with us his love, humor and wisdom when we desperately needed it.
Life can change in an instant. You never know what will happen or when plans will change.
Tell you family and friends you love them and how much they mean to you every chance you get.
Always Keep Hope Alive and have a fabulous day.
A Sunday well spent, reflecting and just being
Greeting and a fabulously happy Sunday to you all!
I hope that you are having a most excellent, relaxing, enjoyable, semi stress free day!
It can be so hard to “relax” and take it easy when you have so many responsibilities, things to do and people to see. People you want to see and some you don’t get to see as often as you would like. Plus, there are also the reminders in the back of my head to ready myself for the upcoming week and all that it brings. Sometimes the hardest part is just allowing myself to relax, enjoy and be in the moment because I tend to keep planning for things to do. It’s in the vein of “stop and smell the roses” and take time to just enjoy where you are right this minute. Not constantly being in motion like I tend to try and do.
This past weekend my body chose to make me “stop” and I had to realize I needed to just smell the roses or suffer the consequences of not taking care of myself like I gripe to others about doing! It’s frustrating when you want to do things and you just can’t. You make sure your get your main chores and duties done but anything else is a bonus at this point, even it if needs to be addressed. Sometimes you just can’t get it done. Guess what? That is OK. You will live, the earth will still turn and life will go on. Your family, friends and loved ones will understand that life happens and not always the way that you would hope for it to be.
I was originally going to write about reading the Sunday paper, of which I finally finished last Sunday’s paper on Friday, and how it can be so revealing to learn more about what is going on in your community and state. Lord have mercy I love my state but sometimes I wonder what the politicians are thinking. Are we really going back 50-ish years on certain issues? The pulse here today echoes strangely to the beat in ways as it did back in the 1960’s. Once again my home state is under public scrutiny, and rightfully so, for their stance on segregation and choosing to follow they laws through their own interpretation. Seriously. It makes me cringe.
Several months back I received a phone call about race and segregation and if I felt things were better, worse or unchanged than they were in the past. It was a poll call and I enjoyed talking to the lady who was asking my true opinion. I was my honest self. I told her I could see improvement for the better, however it wasn’t enough and I saw more disrespect from others than I stupidly thought I would see when I moved back to my home state last year. That on the surface it seems like people are more tolerant and understanding of one another and that there was more compassion for our fellow human, but I realized far too quickly that that was sadly an illusion. You can bet I have added it to my “topics” to be written on!
I am very blessed in my life to be surrounded by so many amazing humans from so many diverse backgrounds. True, quality folks that accept me and I them for who they are no matter what. These amazing humans are around the state, a state or two away, across the country and across the seas. When I say I am blessed I truly mean it. I have been able to have some of the most amazing relationships with people on so many different levels. It transcends “friendship” in so many cases. We don’t see color, flaws and short comings as “deficits” in each other, but openly discuss and talk about real life and more about building each other up than tearing each other down. We can’t always talk but when we do we pick up right where we left off, flowing smoothly into what works for us. I work to do this in every area of my life. It is not always easy. I am my own worst critic of how I should be versus how I am.
But I never give up and I always Keep Hope Alive!
And I pray to the few of you that are kind enough to read my ramblings, that you have a fabulously graceful Sunday. That you find an inner happiness and a joy in the moment. Whether it be just sitting and reading and relaxing or spending time alone or with those you love. Just find a bit of beauty. Never give up of this adventure of life. ALWAYS KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!
Have a Fabulously, Fantastic Saturday – Keep Hope Alive!
“Cause Saturday night’s the night I like
Saturday night’s alright, alright, alright” – Elton John, “Saturday Night’s Alright”
I love Saturday’s and I love Elton John! So I am sharing my maotic mind on this fabulous Saturday and oftentimes I think of Sir Elton John songs randomly and feel the need to share the soundtrack of my mind! You’re welcome!
There are so many things on my mind, heart and soul. I cannot express them all here today so I figured I would just go with whatever flows forth from my fingers. After all I have a deadline to meet and technology and I are once again at odds! Story of my life!
For the first time in ages I seriously wanted to toss my smarter-than-me-phone off the porch as I was apparently breaking the damn internet trying to read articles on www.scarymommy.com – seriously! It wasn’t even on the Facebook as I have had my phone just go back to my home screen when clicking on a video or article on the app. Recently, it did this while I was reading an article on the cellphone interweb. It reminds me of a gentler black screen of death that comes up on my computer. It scares me a little when my phone does it. Because I will tell you, I have a love/hate relationship with my smarter-than-me-phone and I rely on it far more than I want to. I become too plugged in and then reliant “in a pinch” if the computer isn’t working for whatever jacked up random reason it is this month! I swear if my man wasn’t such a genius at fixing my broken things, I would have lost my mind already with the computers crapping out on me and deadlines daily! To his credit he has handled my meltdowns quite well and the boy is convinced he can fix anything! I am just thankful he tolerates me as me, even encourages *gasps* me to be myself, not who I think I need to be for anyone else. Even when I am bitchy or irrational he tolerates me. That is a lot to handle I tell you. And the fact he doesn’t even flinch when I hand over my electronic device, usually a computer, and say “Please again” because I just can’t deal with it. Again. And fixes it. I am certain he does some kind of voodoo magic on it for it to work again for me.
I swear I have too much electromagnetics or some form of alien life form in my body! I cannot wear a watch, electronics fail after a period of time around me and not from abuse that I cause or viruses I “accidentally downloaded” (I learned how to avoid that a while ago but sometimes it happens). Now the smarter-than-me-phone is acting all jacked up.
Of course my mind fills up with topics to write while I can’t get onto a computer and just start writing drafts. And my hands have started this lovely cramping thing when I write, like old school write, with my hands. So I start to go a bit stir crazy in my head until I remember I can write down portions in my notebooks and get it out so I don’t completely loose it!
Oh yes, yes my fabulous friends, Fabulously Gracelessness, a.k.a. Lady Maos is one stop shy of bat-shit crazy! I am amazed I can manage to keep it together enough to get this blog out daily! Between actually raising a child, working, writing, loved ones, having a life, chronic pain and issues, I am pretty damn proud of myself for hitting my mark and sharing my thoughts, ideas and hopes with the world daily. If I can do it on this small scale, you can do anything you want to do if you hope and believe in yourself. Because my motto is Keep Hope Alive. And I promise you, that daily mantra truly works. It gets me through more than I ever expected it to. I am pushing myself farther than I ever had in my writing and am starting to see some positive results. They are small and to some probably it wouldn’t matter but it gives me HOPE and therefore KEEPING HOPE ALIVE actually Works! Setting aside time for your dreams isn’t always easy, but then life is not always easy either. Besides I love a challenge! I have so many topics I am bound to hit the mother load of getting a big break. I believe in myself!
So bring on this Saturday, this Football game day and middle of the weekend!
I hope you all have a fabulously fantastic Saturday and Keep Hope Alive!
Letter to my son, after 5 fabulous years and we’re just getting started
Until you came into my life I didn’t truly know how much love I had to give. I knew I was capable, I had dreamed of you for so long. I saw you in my dreams many time throughout my life. With blonde hair and blue eyes. Everyone thought I was crazy, but then I could always see and feel things that not everyone could. I could never do things easy, I had to try the route mostly blocked by the vines, and trees of life.
When I found out you were going to be a part of my world I was shocked. But from the moment I knew you were mine, I was stunned, excited and terrified and more in love with anything than I had ever been before. You see I had prayed for so many years that we would find each other that I couldn’t believe it was finally happening. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe or didn’t have hope, I just figured you would come to me some other way. I took a test and then because I couldn’t believe it, I took another. Positive. I was going to be a mommy! I locked myself away for a good 24 hours only telling my sisters, your aunts, because I couldn’t believe it. I was scared to tell people because I didn’t want to jinx anything. But one by one I told, then we told. The fact I was able to have you at all was in itself a miracle. People talk about how they would have done things differently in their life. I can completely understand, however I believe all of the things I did led me to you.
Now that you are starting to get older you ask questions that are beyond your years. I see the old soul in your eyes the way I see the mirror of my own. It excites and scares me for you. I watch you try new things and talk to people. I watch you share, I watch you not want to share. I watch you. I am caught off guard so many times by you. You constantly awe and amaze me. I know I make mistakes but you are so forgiving. It’s like you know somehow when I need to hear you say those certain things to me… “I chose you and you chose me”. One of your favorite things to tell me. When you repeatedly look into my eyes and tell me, “I love you mommy. You’re the best mommy I ever had. Of all my mommies you’re the best.”
My miracle, angel boy, of all my lives, I love this one the best because of you. You have made me a better human. More understanding and compassionate. More concerned with the world around us and less tolerant of those who bring harm, whether they mean to or not. You will learn and see more than I want you to but I know you must grow up. I know I cannot keep you from the pains of this world. You have already experienced much loss in your short life than others ten times your age. You love and believe with your whole heart. When you laugh it fills my soul with the most beautiful music I only dreamed of. Your arms around my neck and my waist are pieces of heaven and when you kiss me I know what they mean when they say touched by an angel.
I dedicate this to you, my sweet boy. The last 5 years have been the best of my life with you in it. I pray for many, many more. Mommy loves you more than you can ever begin to understand. I know you can feel it in your heart and soul.
Keep Hope Alive!
Hello Monday to my Fabulously Graceless Friends!
Helloooo Monday! Hellooooo my Fabulously Graceless Friends!
I hope everyone survived their weekend and are ready to kick booty!
I always seem to have something up my sleeve to get through the day!
I work to find the happiness and the humor if possible. Laughter is the best medicine for many of our ailments. It’s like it transports you, all of you with your pain and suffering, all of the bad and laughter tosses it out of the room and makes you cry tears of happiness and your belly ache. Laughter is powerful!
Of course I can always rely on those that I love to get me through it, no matter in person, through text, email or social media or a phone call. Those of whom we just know when the other needs us or the universe just makes it happen. Those people that God, the Universe or whatever have placed in my life at the perfect time and we stick it out for each other no matter what.
I then go back to the fact that I am Fabulous Gracelessness, Lady Maos and a crazy chic who loves to write so I share it with everyone on the intraweb.
I also remind myself, and those reading, to always Keep Hope Alive!
Have a fabulously fantastic Monday!!
fabulousgracelessness 