chaos

Just get through it, then you can you move past it

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 10 Comments

Sometimes you see the train coming round the bend and you absolutely Know you have to jump on but you just don’t want to.

You know that once you’ve jumped you can’t stop because really, you have no other choice.

My life is like that train sometimes, only it seems the driver is on drugs and my skills in jumping may be lagging a bit.

You know that there are things you have to face no matter what it may be.

You have no choice but to move on through it and face it.

If you don’t move through it you can never get past it.

Something that I am re-learning is much easier said than done.

However, it is something for me that I have to do because I am one of those people who has to go through it before I am past it to be able to move on with my life without the feeling of knowing I didn’t end the chapter, but instead just laid down the book never to finish it.

Too many times in my life have I left things in the “past” that later caught up to me because I didn’t move “through” it, but just breezed right past something but I did it because I didn’t have the knowledge, grace or guts to do at the time.

It’s easy to place blame on your situations, your work, you family, your life, and your state of mind.

Blaming others or an outside force is a much easier path to choose than one where you have to take accountability and lay the blame at your own feet.

Even if something isn’t all your fault in a relationship or situation, chances are good that the ending isn’t solely the other party’s fault no matter how you slice it.

Yes they may have done worse.

They may have ruined your favorite book, item of clothing or something other near and dear to you.

They may have spoken badly of you and spread lies and rumors.

They may have repeatedly lied to you thinking you would forgive again and again when you had done so before.

They may have been jealous of your abilities and felt threatened so they cut you from their lives to make themselves feel better telling you, “So sorry it was just time” or some other such non-sense.

In some cases yes, you can be completely blameless.

However I have learned that in most cases you aren’t.

This is when you have to do the ooey gooey yucky moving through it part to move past it.

A while back I was laid off from my job.

Though I knew that industry wide layoffs were happening, I had deluded myself into thinking I may be demoted and I could look for a job when/if this happened. Within two months of my old co-workers, who had worked for my company’s parent company, being laid off, I too got my “pink slip”.

I was somewhat devastated. I was also a bit relieved.

And if I was honest, I did know that chances were good I would be one of the ones to go first and get laid off.

This was not my “dream” job but I always put at least 100% into every job I have. Frankly I had been in the industry for the last 3 ½ years and I still didn’t understand a lot. That was in a large part due to the nature of the industry and people not sharing information for fear you would take their job, and for the fact I was female in an industry that is roughly 80% males in the upper management roles. There were women in management roles but I do know they made less than their male counter-parts. And it was pretty cut-throat at times.

I am still moving through it.

I am past it in the sense I made peace with the situation and started looking for employment. I have done beauty sales, adult sitter work and writing, but 6 ½ months later I do not have a “real full time full paying” job.

I am good with this because I am working to achieve my dreams. I am lucky that I am blessed with family to help, savings and some financial dribbling’s monthly to make ends meet. I do not live lavishly, I coupon and save when and where I can.

Do I want to live this way forever? Hell no.

I want to be able to comfortably support myself and my boy and not worry about paying my bills each month and having enough left over to do fun things with the boy as well as put some away for our future.

I Will get there because for me there is no other option.

See, working Through it even though I moved Past the incident.

I have also been re-connecting with old friends. And believe me I am selective on that because let’s face it, we are all crazy and honestly, some crazies just don’t mix!

People can put on an “act” for who they are or aren’t only for so long.

At this stage of a relationship, you are probably back in the ooey gooey moving through it.

Whether moving “past” it means being around that person, with some type of “conditions”, or completely moving on, you will still move “past” whatever it is in your relationship with this person.

I have a close friend who is one of the most compassionate, intelligent and awesome humans on the planet. She is also slightly nuts in a take a step back and possibly adjust meds kind of way.

There have been times during the course of our decade’s long friendship when we have both had issues we had to work through in order to get past.

It wasn’t always pretty, nice or easy but because we believed in our friendship we worked through it. We remain close to this day.

I have had other relationships where it was best all-around to end it completely.

The hardest part about ending a relationship is not only moving through it, but the getting past is harder. Those kind of relationships, no matter how close or distant, are similar to when someone dies.

If someone dies, you have to move through your grief and there is no time limit on that.

To me, moving “past” a death is accepting it, no matter what the cause. You may still be moving through it even those you have moved past what caused it and have accepted you will no longer see that person ever again in this life.

But a relationship you end, depending on how it ends and the circumstances surrounding it, can be like a death but the person is still on the planet and you may actually see them again.

Instead of discomfort and hateful words you have to move through your emotions, or at least how you display yourself in public and around others, so that you do not completely go off the deep end or embarrass yourself. Or worse say something you will regret later.

If you are changing the dynamics of your relationship you have to move through how that will play out while moving past the way it was.

Maybe you were sort of friends and now you’re close. Maybe you’ve gone from friends to dating. Or from dating to friends.

All of those change the dynamics of how your relationship with that person is.

If you don’t define how you feel, people don’t always have that “daily dose of gypsy shit so now I can read your mind” mentality. They need to Know.

Even if it’s unpleasant and not what you want to do, in order to move on and past you have no choice but to know how you feel.

Sparing someone’s feelings now could cost you more than you bargain for later.

Whatever the situation or circumstance sometimes you just have to JUMP!

I am still moving though and past so many things in my life. I am sure I will continue to do so until the day that I die. I least I hope so.

I wish you all the luck in the world!

Have a fabulously graceless night my friends!

Quiet time, me time and missing the noise

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

I remember growing up we did not have all of the technology and all of the options we do today.

Yes my mom talked on the phone, but it was attached to a cord and plugged into the wall. If you wanted privacy, you went to another room or she told us kids to go outside or in our rooms.

Our rooms held our dearest treasures and outside held fun and adventures.

We lived on a cul-de-sac when I from the time I was 18 months old until I was 8. That would be the time when we acquired my younger brother!

We then moved to a newer subdivision from the time I was 8 until around 18 in which I met my best friend/sister and where the majority of my teenage years played out.

When my parents moved again, it was so my brother could go to a different school since I was graduating and he was about to go to high school.

No matter where we lived, we were required to “be creative” and let my parents have peace during the days of summer and school breaks.

We always did many things together as a family such as dinner each night, church on Sundays, vacations, family gatherings, parties – you get the idea.

But we also had “quiet times” and somehow I always treasured those times.

I don’t require “background” noise like a lot of people do.

And let me be clear, I do like to put on the radio or TV on occasion and have noise happening when I am alone, but I really do cherish quiet time. Nor am I a huge fan of TV every night.

I remember one of the first times when I was a teenager and my parents went away overnight and my younger brother went to my grandparents house.

My parents were trusting me to be an adult and not have a party or anyone over, plus there were plenty of people in the neighborhood that could “watch” our house and back then, there wasn’t all of the dangers we have today. No Facebook and smart phones to instantly update the world on your location and what you are doing. Not a lot of traffic in our area and less crime than there is now.

I did, of course, invite my best friend/sister across the street over for a little while but all we did was make a few calls to boys and watch the cable channels we normally were “limited” to watch.

Cable was the “new” thing as were microwaves! Yep, I am that old!

After she left I remember thinking “It is so Quiet.”

I could hear the house creaking and making noise, I could hear the dog outside but that was it. No TV, no one talking, walking around or making any noise.

It was Bliss!

I went up to my room and read and wrote in my journal.

I slept late because my parents weren’t coming home until later that day.

I enjoyed the peace and quite of a house alone for the first time in my life.

As the years moved forward and I grew up and moved out of my parents home, for the first time haha, I enjoyed having roommates but enjoyed the times when I was alone at home.

The quiet can be so peaceful!

I later married we and moved around a lot. Florida, Georgia, California and back to Georgia.

Many years later we divorced and at first I was living with friends, but I realized I wanted to get my “own” place.

I wanted the option of “quiet time” all the time because I had never had that.

So I got my own apartment and I reveled in being the only one who made noise, other than neighbors, which I had experienced before being an apartment dweller.

However, after a year-ish I realized I am a very social creature. I had already adopted two cats but I missed living with someone.

I set out to find a roommate. And I was “picky”! I wish I had the original ad I posted on “need a roommate” sites due to it’s “what I don’t want” content!

I finally found one person I felt “good” about meeting and happily she was the only person that came to “check out the place” and also became a friend for life!

She, like me, loved her quiet time but wanted someone semi-normal to live with. She had been in a bad relationship, moved in with family and now wanted to be free of the familial judgment and irritation that can come with it!

We both dated, but often joked we would probably end up being old lady roommates with cats and dogs when we moved into our 3rd residence together.

We had a house with a yard, cats, dogs and she was as OCD about cleaning as I was.

We both respected each other about our “quiet time” but would call each other out if we stayed on the couch for too long (like over a week and you aren’t dying from flu, allergies, stomach bug, surgery or anything else of the like) to touch base and generally keep each other sane.

After a few years  my gypsy spirit kicked in and I decided to move yet again.

This time my adventures led me to the state of Tennessee.

I had some wonderful roommates that I love dearly and are still wonderful friends with to this day.

I married again and had my miracle boy.

It was all so crazy and seem to happen so fast!

I had made peace, to a degree, that I wasn’t able to have children.

My friend, then later husband, and I talked about fertility treatments but honestly I wasn’t sure if I could afford the emotional blow it would cause if we paid out all that money and it didn’t work.

Then a miracle happened. I was pregnant.

We got married and I left my wonderful friends and moved in with him. It may not have been the smartest thing to do since we were such good friends but we thought we could pull it off.

I also knew my enjoyment of “quiet time” was about to be interrupted for a while!

I am not dumb but to my credit I was happy about the arrival of the human I was blessed to help create and carry. I was terrified and happier than I had ever been.

Anyone who has children know from the moment they are born your life of peace and quiet is shattered!

It is not all bad, but that is the truth!

If you’re lucky in the first year, you get “quiet time” when the kid is sleeping and the whole “you nap when they nap” actually happens sometimes because you’re dead on your feet from doing your “normal” chores and work, even if you aren’t caught up on everything you take a nap even if you aren’t a “nap person”! At least I did on occasion!

So “quiet time” shifted but I could still find it.

Life moved on and the boy grew and his dad and I realized that we didn’t need to be married. We had issues with living together and clashed on too many things. We tried counseling and we truly worked on trying to stay together but finally realized we couldn’t stay together “for the sake of the child” because we were both miserable.

So I moved again into my own place right down the road.

My father was going through cancer treatments again and I was a wreck from the emotional strains of worrying about my son, my father and the impending divorce.

I found more “quiet time” than I wanted as my son shares time with his father, which I am grateful for as often times kids get the raw end of the deal when parents are divorcing, but that first few months was Hard.

My “quiet time” was torture to think of all the things going on I had no control over and I miss my son like crazy when he’s gone.

I finally learned to accept his nights and weekends away and to enjoy the precious alone time I had.

During our divorce negotiations and mediation, we ending up deciding to move back to our home state of Alabama as both sets of parents lived here as well as extended family and friends.

It’s funny how you think you won’t move somewhere then you have a child and your whole perspective changes!

I didn’t have a lot of “quiet time” per se due to life and the happenings going on.

My friend whom I had lived with in Georgia, moved in with me to my townhouse after a failed relationship. We were happy to be together again but a bit sad of the circumstances that brought us together. She was great with my son and I once again had my friend with me.

Sadly, she passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack in her sleep.

I was heartbroken and so was Blake.

My aunt had also passed away a few months before and now my son was again losing someone he loved.

I feared there would be more to come but I had no idea how much more.

As I was packing up to move at the beginning of last year I got the call I had been dreading.

Although I had been going back and forth from TN to AL pretty much every weekend, my father had taken a turn for the worse. I threw my bags together and the boy and I set out for the motherland.

We arrived on Friday and my father passed away with our family by his side on Sunday.

I stayed on another week with my mom, family and friends. Funeral arrangements, plans and grief were the world I was in.

I have no idea how my mom made it through with the grace she did, but she is one of the strongest women I know and I have so much love, respect and admiration for her.

Her partner of 45 years had passed and she was hurting like never before, but also shared her journey with my brother and I and our family. It’s never easy when one of the rocks of a family dies, however having the love and support of your family and friends makes it bearable.

I am so blessed to have wonderful friends who while I was gone took care of my animals and also helped pack up my home.

I moved back “home” and in with my mom 2 days shy of one month after my father passed.

5 days after moving back, my beloved fur bebe golden retriever, Jethro a.k.a. Big Love, passed away. See, it did get a bit worse.

We were already grieving and now we grieved another.

Neither mom nor I were sure how things would work out.

I was over 40 with a 3 year old and living with my mom!

Fortunately I was able to transfer with my job and mom and I found out that we not only could live together but enjoyed it in a way we never had before.

We help each other out and one of the things we share is enjoying our “quiet time” or “me time” and help each other find it.

The boy loves living at GiGi’s house with mommy and we talk about Pops, my dad, too. It’s still “their” home but now it’s ours too.

We talk about heaven a lot with the boy because how else are you going to explain so many losses to a 3, now 4 year old? He has Great Wink, Aunt Bicky, Pops and Jethro having parties in heaven and I tend to enjoy his view on it as it eases my sadness to see the world through his eyes.

I know I am fortunate, blessed and pretty darn lucky.

It isn’t always easy but mom and I know we have each other.

Recently she went on a little vacation and the boy went on vacation at the same time.

I forgot about how much I Need and Cherish “quiet time” and me time.

It’s nice to wake up on your schedule, eat cereal for dinner if you want and not have to worry about anyone else.

But you know what? I miss them both! I can’t wait until everyone’s “Home” and the chaos and noise is again filling the house up.

Because as much as I love the quiet time, I miss my family! Noise and all!

Have a fabulously graceless Friday my friends!

 

 

Can I please get your side effects listed?

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 10 Comments

 

I think when you become friends, began dating and knowing people you will be around often (work, friends, etc.) that one of your first acts should be to give a list to the other your side effects. Openly and honestly.

You can do the “Hi I am Sam, I’m a Virgo, I am a bit OCD, I hate it when you fold napkins the wrong way in fact, when we are preparing for people to come over if they aren’t folded right I may have a breakdown and end up in the state hospital again. I love unicorns and puppies and I put mustard on my popcorn.”

See? Simple! Hahahahaha

Ok I know it isn’t that easy but you can tell people about yourself.

I understand that you don’t want to give away all of your crazy up front, no need to run them off, but it is fair to tell people about you. For example, say if you spend a lot of time together in any capacity that you’re on medication for seizures, heart issues, because you sometimes here the dust mites chattering away. Those are kind of important things to share if you are sharing chunks of time with someone. What if you have a reaction or need medical attention with your friend? This is crucial information to share.

Later you can tell them about how you don’t always answer your phone or how you only go out every 3rd day. Again not sharing all the oddities right away but building up to it. That is fine as long as it doesn’t involve say body parts stored in the freezer or a fetish for hurting others.

We all have oddities and things we do that may annoy, irritate or frighten others depending on what it is. And by frighten I mean that it could be something small or something pretty big that you need to get out there.

People have patterns. You can only “pretend” to be a certain way for so long unless you’re like that chick in that book/movie “Gone Girl” or that dude in “The Talented Mr. Ripley” or “Catch Me if you can”.

Not that there aren’t  people out there like that but to me that’s more extreme. I have met quite a few people that are very adept at “hiding” parts of who they really are. They can be quite persuasive and manipulative. It’s a fascinating thing to watch and scary at the same time.

If someone you become friends with suddenly becomes a close talker and a bit too much into your personal life, you have to look back and see that the signs were there, she was just refraining from being her true to not scare you off. Can you live with that as a friend? Do you approach her about it? Do you slowly back away and disappear?

I handled this with the “heyyyyy friend, you are all up in my personal space. I like you and respect you but you need to understand my life is mine and I will share a lot with you but you don’t need to research or “assume” things because you will most likely be wrong and make me mad. Ask me. If it’s too personal I will tell you as much and we can move on.” And yes, I am still friends with this person!

What if you’ve been friends with someone and suddenly the don’t seem to answer the phone as much as they once did? You still hang out but the whole answering the phone when you call doesn’t happen as much. They still call you occasionally to make sure plans are in place (after you’ve left messages) but they just don’t take your calls. Do you get mad or confront and/or accept it?

I am seriously referring to several of my super close inner group of friends. The truth is we all love each other and hate to talk on the phones at times. Not that we won’t go for a marathon or sometimes just 5 minutes. I just Asked if I had done anything wrong and when we talked, we realized that we had grown in our relationships and didn’t feel the Need to talk all the time.

Of course we still do talk, more so now that we aren’t living in the same state for some, but still not as much as some people feel people need to talk or it makes them not “friends”. **I don’t have/know of too many folks like this because I get irritated with the phone in general & if you feel like I have to talk to you every few hours or we aren’t being what you deem “friends” then you will have a problem with me! The only person that gets that much attention is the boy because he is mine and even then I tell him “mommy needs some time away from it all for just a few minutes” (and that usually leaves me hiding in the bathroom for only 10-15 minutes if he is distracted by playing or watching a movie!).

Or you’ve been friends with someone and known each other a while. When you were younger you maybe drank together, and as you aged you went through stages of partying and both seemed to come out alive and ok. Then you notice they are drinking or on something because they are acting like they did when you partied together “back in the day” but this is no longer “back in the day” and you’re older and have responsibilities. Do you ignore it, accept it, confront them? Do you decide they aren’t worth it because “they know better”? Do you judge?

I can say I have done all of the above. And yes, there have been some regrets I admit.

In various stages of our lives we don’t always make the best decisions and then again sometimes it is for the best but may not feel like it them.

I know that I always talked to my friends before I did anything “rash”, well at least after about the age of 20! Before then I just didn’t understand people as well and what I could, would and could not tolerate.

I wish everyone well but I am sorry I can’t go down that rabbit hole with you. Sometimes some journeys are meant to go on alone. If you are very, very lucky you may get to see them again on this journey of life!

What about the friends you make and some life event shakes you both up and you realize you have nothing more in common anymore but the time you have known each other?

You have years of being around this “friend” but nothing else anymore as this event has shown you the glaring differences in the core of who you both are.

And you realize, all along you saw the signs, the side effects. You Knew the words on the warning labels yet you chose to ignore them because you truly felt this friend was worth it.

That they would be there with you for the zombie apocalypse.

When the time came and the world as you know if fell apart, you both let each other down in some ways.

You never expected them to fall so far and when you confronted them, they tore you apart emotionally because they knew they couldn’t take away the core of the true you and that made them jealous because maybe, just maybe you were a stronger person than they were.

And if we are honest you are a bit less selfish than they were.

But you, in your ways of the thoughts of the universe, thought that just because they didn’t want to list their “side effects” to you out loud; that it was understood you both Knew and that you acknowledged it but also had expectations of them being Human and admitting their shortcomings as you admitted yours to them.

It didn’t happen.

You never know how things will end up. Maybe the spin around the sun will make you friends once more and maybe they will become someone you once knew.

So if we could just be honest and share the not so pretty side effects/warning labels about ourselves with each other, it would just make things so much easier, ya know?! It couldn’t hurt much!

What do I know? I’m just a chick that enjoys blogging about the thoughts in her head!

Have a Fabulously Graceless Sunday My Friends!

Fly your freak flag proudly!

 

TGIF yeah….

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 58 Comments

Greeting and fabulous thoughts to everyone!

Do y’all ever have those days where you are all keyed up to get things done (for me it’s my LISTS haha), but don’t quite hit the mark on the timing? That is my day!

And though it is a beautiful day it’s a “crap I am so running behind!” kind of day!

Ah well, I have been working on the need another dollar end of my life and can see the light at then end of the tunnel. I’m pretty sure it’s not a truck and it’s tiny but it’s there!

You have to want it and oh boy do I want it!

Interviews and talking to folks who I have no idea if what just came out of my mouth is what they are laughing about because I am clever or because they think I am psycho and maybe a tad afraid because I look so “normal”!

Maybe I just want to think I am clever and they feel sad for me so they are nice, either way I know I will end up back in the saddle again. Maybe this time with a whole wagon loaded down. Yeah a wagon train! That’s what I am going for! Of course with all the modern comforts so one of those carts will have an AC unit powered by magic! And there she goes folks off into the abyss!

My personal goal is to write one post a day on my blog. So far I have been beating my goal and plan to continue to do so. For example I learned I can write and queue my post to post at a certain time. This is what they tell me so I guess later I will see if it works or not! This post right now will go live when I complete it.

The whole blogging experience is a wild learning curve for me. One I am happily jumping into off the cliff to find out about. I mean where else can I put up MY thoughts and have them read by complete strangers who apparently agree and like what I say?! It gives me hope for the humans! YEA!!!!

But seriously it is a joy to be able to “put it out there” so to speak and share your thoughts, dreams, views and craziness with “the world”.

I feel so old sometimes as I remember as a child watching movies with computers and of course the Jetsons, and thinking it would be so awesome to just have a typewriter and cars that flew! If you don’t get my Jetsons reference google it! It was a cartoon! Ha!

Now I am blogging on the world wide web for all to experience. Kinda a little bit scary in that good kinda way!

Now I am off to finish my chores and my Lists because I am behind but happy I am still breathing and still going!

Keep Hope Alive My Friends!

Have a Fabulously Graceless Friday!

P.S. I have been going through my journals as well as writing down “topics” for posts and came across this little jewel. It is a quote from “Odd Thomas” by  Dean Koontz that I can totally relate to and ask for so I am sharing it with you.

“These days, all I ask of fate is that the people she hurls into my life, whether they are evil or good, or morbidly bi-polar, should be amusing to one degree or another.”

Amen Brother Odd, Amen!

 

sometimes my headline goes away so I made a new one up

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 13 Comments

Greetings my FabulouslyGraceless folks!

Today has been quite high on the “how much of my stuff did I really get done today” meter!

I am a “bit” OCD and always have a jillion things to do but can somehow manage to get through a whole day with the feeling of nothing accomplished! Anyone else like that?!

So I started back on my “daily lists”.

I fully admit I have a post it note and notebook problem. I have them everywhere and can’t find one when I need it because someone (most likely my offspring or maybe even my other personality) moved it. Then I loose my mind for a few minutes, calm down and move on to that scrap of paper I found under the seat or in my purse. I keep pens and crayons on me at all times so I can write somehow! Oops I digressed a bit so back to my “topic”…

I make a List of Everything I can think of I need to get done. It’s always intimidating trust me! From go to the post office, check accounts, pick up items boy child needs, grocery, blog, bills – yes it gets overwhelming! *girl if you’re reading this I just put “go to the post office” on list for tomorrow!

The I make sub-list and from that a sub-sub list. At this point I wonder, does the person reading this think I am crazy or can they totally relate?! Because I also have colored tabs for different subjects (home, work, kid, other work, bills, etc.) – I said I was OCD! It’s not a bad thing to be organized!!

I have always worked the full time job since I graduated from high school. Only briefly in the last 25 plus years have I not received a “regular” paycheck. That is until recently when I was laid off. Of course I am getting an income, a tiny one, and I am working to make it better trust me. I’m not high maintenance (hehehe in my humble opinion) but I have standards!

So now we have a work ethic and “schedule” of over 25 years in the making and no concrete day to day job to go to with one very OCD mama who needs that structure in her life! Desperately! For her own sanity!

I decided to “take the reigns” so to speak and get my life back on track and I am happy to report that today I got the Big List started and several of the sub & sub subs done – go me! I even was able to scratch off “complete”! *Celebrate! Holiday! Oh yeah! **another one of my little “endearing qualities” is I have random moments of happy dances and bits of songs in my head that I just let out for no reason…. welcome to my mind!

All of this means that I am happy in my soul and I am keeping hope alive that my next “job” is what I want to do and can support me and my boy. (*note: I am in no means destitute, I am fortunate to have a wonderful family and fabulous friends who help me out and I help them back! My mama is the best so I’m just throwing that out there because without my mama, my dreams of following my dreams of writing for a living would not be happening right now! Ahhhh tender moment!)

Did I mention I have on my robe and no make up cause that’s how I am rockin’ it – getting in done in comfort and my own style! Dreams do come true!

I hope you all have had a fabulous gracelessness Thursday!

WOW

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 8 Comments

 

 

So I decided to blog because I have been a person who reads all my life. I read everything, books, back of products, magazines, blogs, newspaper, on-line articles – I READ! I also keep a journal – in fact I have so many spanning my lifetime it’s like a mini library of crazy!

Starting this blog was something I wanted to do for fun.
It is fun but it is work!

I will admit I can be technically challenged so working on the back end is a bit intimidating but I am up for it.

It is so amazing to me how many comments I have about “stumbling” onto my blog and liking it!

This makes my week people!!!

I just started posting my thoughts and WOW!

Now I have “followers” and people calling, texting, emailing me about my blog.

This is so awesome!

If I can do this Anyone can!

Do something you love! Overcome the fear by facing it!

So someone doesn’t like what I write, fine. They don’t have to read it!

I love reading others blogs myself and follow about 20 at least!

The best way to start is to just DO IT!

Always keep hope alive!

Be fabulous! Embrace your inner Gracelessness!

SPAM

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Ok I will say it – I. Hate. SPAM!

It’s one thing when it’s in my inbox, I can scan it and dump it. However I am learning when one has a blog, nearly every comment is considered SPAM.

How bad could it be? Over 300 comments with a good 90% spam! And since the rules, that would be the ones in my head, say I need to respond to comments related to my post I started going through the SPAM section. Holy crap! It’s just as bad as SPAM in your emails! If not worse!

Apparently online casinos are big as well as some kind of muscle workout enhancement. I don’t CARE! I don’t need any enhancements and if I want to do the gamblin’ I will go hang with my friends for an entertaining evening of poker.

This, of course, means I get to learn more about filtering and how to weed out the crap and find the good. Like the nice person who said they liked my writing – yes I checked they were legit! And a few others with comments genuinely related to what I wrote. I SO APPRECIATE IT!!! IT IS AWESOME!

But the SPAM – Holy Guacamole – this is insane!

I really had the thought, “do they have nothing better to do that post comments about stuff completely unrelated to anything here?” and then I remembered, “I am now a blog writer. If I have time for this, I am so sure they have time to that.” And oh how it irritates me!

For the love of Pete and as I am sure many writers everywhere agree, pay attention to the content. I would rather get “this post so sucked” than to have to check and delete something that is totally unrelated to my blog. Because it is my blog.

Gee I grin when I say that! Maybe I can tackle this SPAM crap!

Then I will write a real post! HA!

Keep hope alive and have a fabulous morning!

A few things I never thought I would say….

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

“Do not lick the door in the restroom!”

“Do not do barking spiders/pooter scooters or farts on Anyone! I don’t care how much you love them or how good of friend they are to you.”

Seriously. These are things that I have repeatedly said to my boy!

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I didn’t think I could have a child. Then I found myself praying for just One in there and please let it be a boy.

So that I am not taken the wrong way, I love little girls. I love being an auntie to my niece. She rocks. She’s like me. It scares me. The thought of having a girl child like myself scared me more than the thought of having multiples (unless it was multiple girls – gah!).

I have never been into fashion, never too girly girl so I thought raising my own boy would be easy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Um no!

I mean he is quite the cutie and we don’t argue over what he’s wearing, which I know will probably change when he gets older. His current demands at times are still negotiable. I mean I have no issue with green shirt and orange shorts with the blue hat. I don’t freak out that his chap stick is blue and it looks as if he has been eating blue candy when I go into the store.

I have had to tell him we don’t “share” his poop stories. No one wants to know that if you eat the blue frosting on the cupcakes from Kroger you have blue poop. Ok maybe a few people want that information because it’s funny but still. Every child has to learn boundaries  I just didn’t think I would be explaining why discussing body functions are off limits to everyone but close family and friends. And even then it may not be a good time!

For months after he went to the bathroom at a restaurant he would be walking back to the table with me proudly exclaiming “I peed and pooped and it was stinky!” Really kid, the wait staff at the Red Lobster does not care nor do the patrons. All they now know is don’t go in the bathroom for a bit!

I couldn’t make this up. I seriously have started writing down the things I have to say because it is just too funny and I have to share it with my friends. And apparently anyone who reads my blog!

One of my favorite quotes I recently read was “raising a kid is like watching a Tarantino movie….lots of talking and lots of violent screaming.” Truth!

 

 

Plans, dreams and reality

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

We all have that picture in our head of how something is supposed to work or flow. Whether it is getting out of bed, a meeting, a relationship or any random thing you are doing most of us can picture it in our mind of how it will go down.

You may even go so far as to say 75% of the time we are right. (Yes, I am being generous here I know but Hope people!).

It’s the 25% that can knock you into a “what just happened?” moment.

In high school I thought I had my life planned out. Where I would go to college, who and when I would get married and how many children I would have. I must have been delusional! NOTHING went how I had it planned in my mind! I got a few college credits but no degree. I gained so much learning from life itself I did not feel the need for more education. That “married and kids thing”? Yeah it didn’t work out so hot either. I was married and I did have a child but again nothing went as planned!

However I would not change it a bit. I have asked myself that very question many times. Maybe before “the boy” was born my answers may have been different but now? I wouldn’t trade a thing because I have him.

Yes being a parent is Hard. Yes it is work. Yes I no longer know what “regular” sleep is and forget being alone in the bathroom. But he is so worth it!

If everything had “worked out” the way I had “planned” it, this adventure of my life would have been totally different. It may have been better. Or worse. Who knows?

I do know my life is far from perfect but I look at it as I have fabulous friends and family who will be there for me no matter what and a wonderful little boy who thinks I’m the coolest thing ever. It doesn’t get much better than that!

 

Another day, need another dollar

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 514 Comments

Running my errands this morning I came up with so many grand ideas to write about, then I forgot to write them down! Yes this is my life!

I am so OCD I plan with contingency plans and then have mini freak outs when I something so off happens I have no plan. Such is the world. Life happens while you’re making plans! This a true statement!

But the sun is shining, I am alive and thankful to have my coffee!

Seriously we often wake cranky and irritable because this or that doesn’t go the way we “planned” it to.

While we are in said pity party/irritation spot/mini rage we do not consider we woke up most likely in our bed (or couch or chair) that we enjoy sleeping in or at least have the option to sleep in. We don’t consider those who have no place to sleep, no shower and no coffee. They may not even have food. I am not a “morning eater” meaning I can’t eat food when I first open my eyes. But I have that option. And I am grateful for it. I do however consume coffee. I am grateful for that as should anyone who comes into contact with me should be grateful I have it as well!

So just take a minute out of your own bubble to think about and be grateful for what you do have. There are so many out there that don’t have anything.

And if you’re feeling a bit fine share your happiness by giving your time or a few dollars to those who need it more than you. If you are buying a coffee buy one for the next person. The whole pay it forward concept is awesome!

As for me I am going to now earn those dollars I so desperately need!

Have a fabulous day!