Finding old friends in the spaces of our lives


Sometime in this life if we are really lucky, we meet some of the best people.

We call them friends.

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If we are really, really lucky, we find those find in the spaces from our past.

Those people we always liked but didn’t know so well due to different groups of friends or age. Or maybe because we were really shy when we were trying to seem cool.

One of the best parts of that is finding those people as adults.

Talking and learning each other and finding out the why as to why we were drawn to them all those years ago.

We find ourselves talking for hours about not the “good old days”, but our lives now. Were we’ve been and what’s gone on in our lives since we last saw each other.

I love hearing how we’ve grown but also have that core of who we were.

I love finding those “new” friends.

Or re-connecting to those you somewhat knew, and figuring out you wish you’d talked to this person way back then more so that this incredible human could have been in your life all along.

I think the universe likes to make us wait so we still keep getting to experience that thrill of a new friendships.

For me, moving back to my home state after being a gypsy so many years I am having those experiences.

Some people are flat out crazy.

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Some are all about drama. Still. We are out of high school please move along!

Yet others are those rare gems.

Recently I spoke to a friend that I can honestly say it’s been over 20 years since we have talked.

Both of us were a bit shyer then.

However, we have both figured out who we are (still works in progress), had kids and life experiences that seems to make us more open to the right people needed in our lives.

People laugh at me when I say I collect friends.

Human are unique creatures each of whom has a different outlook and perspective on life.

I enjoy talking to people and seeing if their brand of crazy gels with mine.

I relish getting into a conversation where I don’t want to hang up the phone because I am enjoying the company so well.

Finding out how much we have in common and enjoying listening to that person’s voice.

It is truly one of those special moments I never take for granted.

No matter if our lives have been totally different or followed similar courses.

The fun is finding similarities that I find so ironic.

How we both have moved around a lot!

We are now both single parents raising our sons.

The amusement we share in so many things.

The honesty of our words.

Because let’s face it. Not everyone is honest.

People want to “put on a front” of how “great” they are and make themselves seem to be the people they want to be and not who they are.

radical honestly

But this conversation?!

I felt like the scene in Jaws where everyone is comparing their scars!

I am still on that happy high of finding another like me and mine! Someone I knew but I had just “lost” through the years.

Maybe we were trying to shock each other.

Or maybe we were just testing the waters to make sure that we are really ok with being friends.

I know that for me, I feel pretty certain I have found another I won’t let go of.

Finding a friend who is honest, makes me laugh and understand other aspects of life that so many don’t is like finding a gold mine for some.

Yet it’s “just” one person.

But that person by just being my friend, has put a smile on my face and given me hope yet again.

They may never know how I feel, but I hope they know that I respect and appreciate them for being themselves.

That I will most definitely make sure I tell them!

Life is too short to judge.

Life is too short to lie.

When you feel it in your gut you know what the right thing is for you.

As for me, I am doing the happy dance I found another soul as nutty as me who’s willing to share space and have some fun.

No judgment. No expectations other than friendship.

That is a Fabulous feeling indeed!

I hope you all have a Graceless Sunday and a Fabulous week!

Keep hope alive my friends!

The weekend is here…. countdown begins!


The weekend has finally arrived!

We are now on official countdown to family beach trip 2015!!

Sun, sand and 10 humans in a condo…. it will be epic!

Of course all but 2 are older but still, fun will be had by all!

I was really struggling about what to write about.

My mind is a mish mash of madness lately so I find myself doing mundane chores needed to pass my time and think.

I decided to celebrate the weekend and start packing for the beach!

It is my happy place.

The place where I can be me and also find myself.

Sometime we get soul sick, though we don’t always want to admit it.

We tend to reflect on times in our lives that may have been wonderful in the moment but did not end so well.

Lately I have had the mental playback of the list of things I screwed up on. And boy is it long!

But a friend told me to not beat myself up over it. Though it’s hard for me, they are right.

Because the screw ups lead me to where I am today and honestly I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

I wish some things would have turned out differently, but I know many others do too.

I am going to find something fun to do today, indoors or out (depending on the heat!) and have fun with the boy.

We deserve it!

And so do you!

Stay fabulous my friends!

Throwing back and moving forward on this fabulous Thursday!


We are soooo close to the weekend and I am so ready!

Thursday is the day you try and finish all the many things you want to do that so on Friday, it starts feeling like that feeling when you get readying for a vacation. Or a few days off work!

So today I am going to be busier than usual due to my migraine Tuesday, which I worked through and my hangover migraine Wed. I also got a good bit done though not as much as I would like! It’s a catch up day plus finish my “chores”!

I got a good bit done on the house management part of my life this week and that made be happy. A bit more to go but thus far, happy client!

I was feeling all good about the resumes I had sent out.

I had to laugh though when 3 of the jobs I applied for turned out to be scams! The way they are worded seems legit, then they reply to you and all I can think is, “there must be a script somewhere because they all use certain catch phrases to tip you off that it is a scam!”

A few weeks ago I thought I had found a great personal assistant job. The hours were what I needed and I could also do my freelance work and most importantly, spend more time with the boy.

I agreed and we emailed back and forth. They said they would be sending me a check to start.

I somewhat forgot about it so when it did come in I was surprised. It was drawn on a bank I was familiar with so I took it to my local bank.

I had one of those “odd feelings” and told the teller to check and see if the check was legit. She asked me why and I blurted out, “well this could be a scam and I want to make sure it isn’t.”

She handed me over to another manager and then the branch manager, actually now a good friend, who came out to talk to me.

He ran the account and found that the “company” would have you deposit the funds into your account and then cancel the check.

They would encourage you to withdraw part of the funds as soon as possible. Then then wanted you to send the funds to their “art dealer” and the “art” would be sent to you. They also suggested I use the outside deposit for “my convenience!

Yes SCAM!

So I am still searching for a possible part time day job, while writing, doing home management, volunteering and caring for the boy.

However today I will be focusing more on the boy and his schooling.

I get to confront the “better” school on what they can do for my kid. I want them to back up what I had been told when I did the first tour 4 months ago. Apparently a lot has changed.

I also get to do a little shopping because my main manager loves me and says I need a few items of clothing. She is the best manager ever! If you know me you will be laughing at that statement! It is true she is the best, but I am a bit biased because we are related! She is kind enough to let me help her out around her home and believes in me and my ability to write, be a caregiver and make a good living.

Do you know how blessed I am to have someone believe in me enough to give me a chance to make my dreams come true?!

Plus the perks are fabulous, I may be writing to you beachside next week, and she is pretty flexible with my hours.

She knows that I will only do the best work and I do get things taken care of even if it takes me a bit longer because I am doing my very best. Nothing else will do.

So today as I get my errands run and eventually write a few more articles, my mind will be drifting off to next weeks’ vacation with my fabulous family!

I’m so ready I wish we could leave Friday. No Saturday! I have chores and errands Friday too! Haha

My OCD won’t allow me to leave until all of my responsibilities are taken care of.

And the boy? He’s coming with me.

At the tender age of almost 5 he is starting to get the “is it Friday yet?!” thing.

I love it!

I am going into this day with hope and happiness!

My wish is for you to find a bit of hope and happiness on this fabulous Thursday!

Stay graceless my friends!

 tbt kid on potty

PS I had to post one of those “throwback Thursday” photos. See how my love for words goes wayyyy back?!

 

 

Running late…again


running late who i am

Calm down.

Breathe.

Anyone notice that those words have been written by me in other posts?! If you haven’t read them and are only seeing them now from me for the first time, know these words are part of my daily mantra of my “keep hope alive” attitude!

I am seriously OCD and strive to also relax.

Yes it is challenge for me but it’s also how I am.

I put routines into my life to ease off the OCD and try to relax while getting all my work and chores accomplished so I can enjoy my “time off”.

Time off is not only a coveted vacation with no responsibilities, however I see time off as that special time when I can spend quality time with myself, the boy, friends and family and just enjoy life without having to worry about working, deadlines, bill and the like.

I am Not a morning person.

I have to set at least 2 alarms to make sure I get up and going! Yes, it’s annoying but I love my sleep and I know myself and know I need the extra help of getting up!

I always have the best of intentions.

I even make sure to lay out everything I need the night before (ah my lists!) so that when I crawl from the covers I am ready to get going.

Of course I have to have at least a cup of coffee and most mornings, have to put it in a travel mug as I never have time to finish the first cup before leaving the house!

But sometimes, like today, I run late and though I try, it seems to throw everything off!

I have to work hard to make sure I get back on schedule and not so distracted from being late.

Hence why my lists are so important to me.

If I didn’t have them, I could literally wander around doing parts of things but never accomplishing what I really need to do.

Fortunately I give myself a bit of leeway so that if I do run late, all will not be lost!

I have to say when I was working a “real job” being late wasn’t an option. I had to be there on time or else I could lose my job. I always factored in variables so that I wouldn’t be late. I may come screeching in with 5 minutes to spare but I was there!

Working for myself is more challenging because when I run late, I am harder on myself than any boss I have ever had. And I always feel worse and beat myself up for a while before I remember that I did wake up.

Not everyone does.

I will catch up eventually.

late excerise lady

Life is too short for all the stress, which can kill you too.

So the next time you get off schedule, just remember to calm down and breathe.

And always Keep Hope Alive!

Cheers for a better day!

Stay fabulous my friends!

 

 

Monday, oh Monday, what will you bring today?


 

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In my grade school yearbook there was a quote, “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

I have thought of that quote often in my life, and heck to be honest, oftentimes agree with it!

However, I don’t think going into my day thinking, “I will be down because it’s raining or Monday” is isn’t healthy.

In fact, I question why it was put into a school yearbook because looking back, it’s kind of a negative quote. I mean it would be fine to be said by a cartoon character, but this was grade school as in K-6!

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and working to figure out some semblance of what I truly need to be doing that I am not.

I have learned that since I don’t have a “normal” 9-5 job I take on way more than I can get done because I think I don’t have the same time constraints.

I will think I can somehow get more done and end up running around in circles getting only 2 of 10 items done that need to get done!

There are the things that I always get done, dinner for the boy, bath, etc. but then there are things I have let slip through the cracks like getting the closets cleaned out and getting rid of clothes and toys that are no longer needed. (I “started” the clothes and toy project many months ago! Nowhere close to finished!)

One of my friends who works from home suggested I start a list.

Now those that know me know this is ironic because Lists are my thing!

I do write them for things I need to get done, besides the grocery list, and do get things check off.

However I haven’t been doing a “work” list and I am happy to say I actually outlined and started one for this upcoming week.

It’s hard to balance working for yourself, helping others, volunteering and of course raising my son.

Often I will think I can move one project to another day and then I forget that I moved it and the project doesn’t get done. Clothes and toys are a fine example!

Trying to line up my priorities has been chaotic and at times painful.

I am a people pleaser. Sometimes to my detriment.

Recently, I was told I waste too much time on my writing, my child and taking care of others.

That statement stopped me in my tracks though.

Saying I “waste too much time” on my child will get you a one way ticket to “you need to go. Now. Far away from me.”

As far as my writing and taking care of others, well, the same person told me that too. I don’t want or need that type of negativity in my life.

Looking back I think they were jealous that I spent time other than with them and so they set out to say hurtful things to me.

Why do we feel the need to tear others down when we don’t get what we want?

It seems far more common these days than in the past.

We live in a more fast paced and disposable society.

People expect everything “right now” and “made to order” and if something or someone isn’t how they perceive it should be it is immediately “wrong” and needs to be “fixed” and they should be “compensated” for their time.

What about my time?

I remember being taught “patience is a virtue” and it’s a hard one believe me!

I’m trying to teach my 4 almost 5 year old son this now.

And kids don’t always have a lot of patience at times!

Lately he seems to be getting it though.

Last week we were having dinner and I realized I was supposed to have a conference call, was trying to wrap up dinner, get him in the tub and ready for bed and I got a bit snappy with him. “Hurry up we have a schedule to follow.”

“Calm down. Breathe mommy. Is it worth it for you to get so upset?”

Wow. Having a 4 year old genuinely ask you the same question I have asked him took me off guard.

I did calm down and breathe. I told him he was right and it wasn’t worth it to get upset and be snappy to him and apologized. He replied with, “It’s ok mama, you’re always doing stuff for me and everyone else and making sure I’m ok, someone has to take care of you too and I am going to do that.”

Talk about making me tear up!

Maybe I am getting this parenting thing.

I know I will inevitably make mistakes, but I am praying that I can keep on with this progress of teaching him to be a good human being.

Kids learn by example so I must be doing a decent job!

So Monday, whatever you throw my way, I will conquer and succeed!

For all of the mistakes, screw ups and mishaps I make, I seem to be doing something right!

For me it’s one of the most important “something’s” I can do!

I chose to take Monday as a new slate, a fresh start and move forward… Always keepin’ hope alive!

Have a fantastically fabulous Monday my friends!

 

How do you look at Monday’s? I’m curious as to how others face a new week!

 

Have a Lovely Sunday


Sometimes less is more.

Today is one of those day.

I am not going to tell a story, write a poem or any such thing.

Today I am going to sleep in, clean up and have dinner later with friends.

I am letting my brain rest! I’ve been shaking it a lot lately!

I hope that you will enjoy your Sunday!

Stay fabulous my graceless friends!

shake the world blog friend

Happy 4th of July Y’all!


I want to take a minute to THANK all of those service men and women who give all for our country.

I want you to please take a minute out of this national holiday to give a moment of thanks and gratitude to those currently serving, those who have served and those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom.

The world is changing and as Americans, we are changing in both in good and bad ways.

I would ask that each and every person strive for the GOOD.

Our nation was founded on freedom and differences.

It was founded on separation of church and state.

It was founded so that we may have free thought, free speech and the freedom to be who we are, as long as we are not harming others, without persecution.

We can pray to who we want.

We can say what we want.

We are still working on equality across the board but as a country, we have come a Long Way!

We no longer have slavery, women are no longer second class citizens, we can marry whomever we choose, but we still have so many cases where others are treated wrongly because they are not just like us.

So I beg you.

Today, July 4th, Independence Day, be Independent and respect your fellow American.

You don’t have to like them or even agree with them.

Just respect them.

And maybe we can all celebrate together as one nation.

Be kind to your fellow American and PLEASE THANK A SOLIDER!!

They are the ones who fight for our rights!

I wish you all a happy, healthy and fabulous 4th of July!

As for me and mine, I will leave you with the photo of our fabulous American pies!

Have a fabulous Independence Day!

pies july 4

I have the Best Friends


your kinda crazy friends

I really do have the most Amazing friends.

Through the years (from 5-35 plus in some cases) I have met and kept the most awesome friends through this crazy of life journey that I am on.

Recently, I had some heath issues along with “career” challenges. Then toss in the “normal” challenges of life and I must say, my friends have gone above and beyond to support me and be there for me in the best ways that they can.

From phone calls, texts, driving me to appointments, employing me, being there for me, letting me stay in their homes, just genuinely Caring about my well-being.

It is a two way street we check in with each other and make an effort, even just a “I got you & I’m here with an ear if you need me” kind of thing.

I can’t do it justice to try and articulate “it” but it’s late, I have a deadline so I will give it a shot!

The top ten reasons our friendship Works and Lasts

antique friends

  1. Calling just to “check in”. My friends and I have this built in sense of “hey maybe they just need to hear a friendly voice on the phone so I will call. It won’t be an epic conversation, though it could turn that way but they need me so I am calling.” It works for us
  2. A text of utter randomness or filled with rude words and love. “Hey my body hurts like I was hit by a train so I thought of you and hope you’re well. Love and gropes.” Yeah we are like that but worse!
  3. An open invite to stay at each other’s homes. Even the friend who publically puts on Facebook No One is to stay over. Yeah they mean it for 97% of the population – guess who’s in that 3%?!
  4. They offer to drive you Anywhere. Medical appointments earn you special stars in heaven. I have a few angels I count as friends on this one! Anywhere can also mean drive bys (not shootings *ahem), the store to get you meds for a plague that has struck you down, to a kid related event and actually stay with you and not drive off (*another star in heaven group) and just go with you almost anywhere!
  5. They are ALWAYS THERE for each other.
  6. We feed each other. Whether it is cereal and milk, sushi, random breakfast, something we created or meal in a bag, the point is we give nourishment to each other in more than just food, but you won’t go hungry with any of my friends!
  7. We help each other out financially when possible. This can be anything from cleaning each other’s homes, giving a few dollars just cause, to selling items on eBay or supporting each other in business. None of us have gotten so bent about money that it has cause a problem with our relationships because friends help friends. Period.
  8. We can go sometimes weeks or months without actually talking or seeing each other but always pick up like it was yesterday. We don’t do it often but it happens. Thank God for texting!
  9. We don’t judge. Really. It seems weird in this time of the judgmental society and we just don’t do it. We may not agree with each other but we don’t judge and we move on through it. We wait it out and talk about it. But we Never judge.
  10. We love each other unconditionally. We truly do. How else can you survive in this world if it wasn’t for the love of you friends and family?!

people sent to you

Friends are the family you choose.

I believe they are souls you knew in a past life and you find each other again. There is no other way I can explain the connection I have with my friends otherwise.

They all know about each other though sadly not all have met.

I wouldn’t expect all of them to get along because they are all so different.

We all have a common core part of our being that just knows and accepts that person for who we are.

I didn’t set out to make all of these fabulous friends.

I see it as I was just fortunate to find the loves of my past lives and share this life with them!

Have a Fabulous Friday and Enjoy your Holiday Weekend My Fabulously Graceless Friends!

So glad you’ve joined the madness of my mind!

 

 

Another day, need another dollar – Part 2


Last month I wrote an article titled “Another day, need another dollar”.

I am pretty sure a part of the reason I got so many responses was that I finally figured out I got some crazy spam emails and they were referring to god only knows what and I took that to be a response to my post.

Some actually were and others were referring to a spam post somewhere out there in cyber space. Really I have no idea how it got there. I didn’t write about clothes, sex or the other random messages I got!

Then I read and reread and read again that post.

I don’t really get it why it seems to genuinely interest people.

I mean I think it’s ok but seriously today, it is for me, another day, needing a lotta dollars!

I was reflecting back on my thoughts and how some of them I realized that I have found my way through to get on track, how my trains get derailed and how I still have now a list of over 50 “topics”, read “those thoughts running round inside of my mind” yet I end up writing about what just flows forth from my fingertips!

At least I can say with complete honesty this was a topic on my list so go me!

I have been writing a few articles for others, whooowhooo, as well as done some sitter work for a dear older lady.

Sadly I talked myself out of that job as she needed 24/7 care and I was concerned that with the group we had helping out, they would run out of steam, not have back up and a few other things. I wrote a short novel on “things to do and take care of for Ms. D”. I went from hired help to consultant quick but it was best for the patient!

It really is another day and I really do need another dollar(s)!

One of my close friends recently taught my boy to hold out his hand, look the person straight in the eye and say, “Tuition, tuition, tuition!” with enthusiasm and then he is handed money!

Every time he asks the boy, “What is the phrase that pays?!” and he diligently answers with joy in his heart and a gleam in his eyes, “Tuition, tuition, tuition!”

Thus far he has made about $10 off this little scheme.

He is tickled pink.

I then explained to the boy how this really works.

That if you save it up and put it in your little banks, a silver horse and a dog in his house, you can afford to buy…… A Transformer!

His little eyes lit up with total delight when I told him that if he keeps putting money into the banks in your room, soon he will have enough to go to the store and buy a transformer toy that he chooses!

If he keeps saving money that he can buy himself special toys!

He is now excited to learn with the play money till I got him at the dollar gentral!

I spent a dollar to teach him a lesson in how to count money while also teaching him how to save up for something he wants.

Not such bad lessons!

As for me?

Each day I move closer and closer to earning those dollars!

I got a few articles written, and I jumped across a huge hurdle I have been standing behind and took the first big step of building up some writing credits! I am also doing some home management projects because I love a challenge!

Who do you think is going to have to pick up the slack when the boy wants the bigger Transformer toy?

I never give up!

My motto is keep hope alive!

You can bet your sweet patootie I am doing just that!

Have a fabulous Thursday My Graceless Friends!

Embracing my life after the madness


Laughter, madness and a sing song rhyme,

Keep circling round and round inside of my mind.

Where am I going?

What shall I do?

Above all to thine own self be true.

To live a lie, to hurt me and your friends…

Please, do tell me, the worst of my sins.

For each “bad” deed that I commit

You have hundreds more you judgmental twit.

Who are you to play judge and jury?

Are you the one to pass out God’s fury?

Chosen one, you think you are.

Your own small word, a shining star.

You smile and wave and talk real big.

Yet you go home and lie with the pigs.

They feed you lies that you take for truth

It feels so good you don’t ask for proof.

And here I am living my life

Going through joy, love, pain and strife.

Thought somehow you feel that you should cast stones,

At me, of all people, because you’re all alone.

Your pigs, they left when you ran out of money.

You should have learned you draw more flies with honey.

They words you thoughtlessly tossed about

Have come full circle and now you’re without.

No friends will call and your family walked away.

You feel the sadness of not getting your way.

So you call my number to rant and rave

Forgetting I dropped you when you retreated to your cave.

The one you wallowed in and judged mankind,

And blame everyone and everything for all your hard times.

So I will sit back and watch stumble around the chaos into your life.

I can no longer help you for your words cut me deeply like a knife.

I know I am not perfect nor do I claim to be.

I have always and will forever be openly me.

I don’t hide who I am or play those head games,

I am constantly changing yet my core is the same.

So your words, you actions and your deceitful ways,

Pushed me farther and farther away.

I can forgive but can’t forget,

How you told me you would be strong and truthful and I truly believed it.

Chance after chance I gave to you.

But for you, to thy self, you cannot be true.

So I wish you well on the next journey of life.

I know for me I am embracing my life.