keep hope alive

Rain, rain it’s my thing

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

“Rain, rain go away, come again another day.”

lightning rain

It seems we have had a lot of much needed rain lately. When I was little I learned the “rain, rain go away” mini poem. Rainy days meant I couldn’t play outside. Cold rain was the worst.

Now I am grateful to see the rain. Even when it feels like we need to build an ark. I learned that it gives moisture to the earth, the plants, trees and flowers. It nourishes the humans and the animals. It cleanses the land and smells divine. Have you ever smelled the earth after a fresh rain? I remember my grandmother teaching me how to smell the rain coming. Now every time it’s going to rain I can smell it and I think of my grandmamma. She taught me to love the storms and how to respect them but not be afraid.

Rain is beautiful, cleansing. It knows no boundaries, it just is. It falls sometimes long and hard. It brings lightning and thunder, flooding and destruction. But not always. Mother Nature at her finest.

I no longer chant the poem of rain to go away. Even when it’s inconvenient for me.

I learned to dance in the rain. To make the best of it. On rainy days sometimes we sleep in, lay around and just listen to the sounds of the heavens cleansing the land.

As Luke Bryan, the country singer says, “rain is a good thing”.

learn to dance in the rain

You don’t look that old!

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

“Can I please see your ID?”

That question can be taken several different ways.

I have always loved to dance and when I was younger than the legal age to be in a bar, I went to bars to dance. Yes I would occasionally drink but I have to say I was relatively responsible. The key was to pass as “old enough” to be get in the bar because once you were in, you we IN. I did have an older friend’s ID I would use to get in the clubs but never tested the theory in purchasing alcohol in a store. A club is usually dark and I could pass as being 21 at 18. A store is bright and too risky plus there could be law involvement and I made it a point to never get into that much trouble! At a club the worse thing they would do is not allow you in and maybe take your ID.

On my 21st birthday I went to my favorite dance club with my parents and best friends handing over my legal ID as I went in to celebrate this big milestone.

Latter, I went into the liquor store and purchased a big bottle of booze for my friend’s party. I walked confidently up to the register and sat my purchase on the counter with my ID ready. “That will be $27 mam.” “Don’t you need to see my ID?!” I asked amazed. “Sure, of course, hand it over…. Um hummmm yep you’re legal.” I was a bit irritated but went on my way. I mean I was dressed up, looking fabulous with enough hairspray that if flame came close to my head there would be a bonfire! It was after all 1991!

Throughout my 20’s I was often asked for my ID and I was of course flattered. Sometimes I would get a bit irritated but for the most part I handed it over thinking I should enjoy it while it lasted.

After I reached 30, while I was no longer into the club scene, I would get alcohol for myself, friends, family or events. I remember the first time I left my ID in the car and was getting quite a few items. When I reached the register the clerk asked me for my ID. I said it was in the car and gave him my birth date. He said he didn’t believe me. I went out to my car and came back. “Wow, you don’t look that old!” “Gee thanks. Can I pay for this and be on my way now?” I was flattered but kind of embarrassed because a. he was loud and b. he looked barely legal himself.

Something else I realized is that once your turn 30, 40 plus you are supposed to look old on your license even if you don’t in person. I find this both fascinating and baffling.

You give them your ID for booze, to view and apartment, drive a car, for a job, whatever it may be. They look at it, look at me. Look at it again. At this point I as, “Is there a problem?” 95% of the time I get, “You don’t look that old.” I understand, it is a compliment. But is it really?

What is “old” and who are we to define what is “old”? Why is it more common with women than men? I have heard “you don’t look that old” to maybe 1 out of 5 men asked that question. I hear it said more often to women. It’s almost a back handed compliment in my humble opinion. Why does being old have to define our looks. I know that I don’t look the same at almost 45 as I did at 20 or 25. Heck I don’t look the same as I did even at 30-35 to me! And it really does make me feel just plain odd when I hear, “Well with black women it’s harder to tell their age than with white women.” Oh so give a back handed compliment and try to throw a race divide card into the mix! Seriously what is Wrong with people?! Like we as women, as humans, don’t have enough to contend with and people try to break people down with age, race, gender – the list is endless yet they keep on and on and on. Like a Barney DVD on loop. Not needed and a form of hell.

I wish, oh how I wish, people would just say, to anyone who looks younger than they are, “You look good (great or fabulous), thanks for letting me verify that for this sale” and move along. See, easy, no weird compliments to the ladies, no comparisons of others, just doing your job and moving along.

Believe me I am grateful that some folks think I don’t “look that old” I truly am.

One of my clients is 75. I had no idea! When she stated her birth date so she could get a “senior discount” I said, “Wow, you certainly don’t look old enough to get that discount!” She thanked me for not saying “you don’t look that old” because she was raised to never talk about a lady’s age in public unless they chose to reveal it themselves. Even then women did not break women down like they do today. We both believe in building each other up, no matter what our age. We believe in building others up, no matter what our gender or color because we are all human.

I am hoping to teach my son this lesson. If we could just get all generations to be a bit more tolerant and to think before they speak, the world will be a better place.

I wish you all a fabulously graceless day and thank you for tolerating another one of my Lady Maos mind moments.

Keep hope Alive!

 

t

Identity in a box

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

I have realized when I go to fill out pretty much any application, be it for employment, a loan, school paperwork or surveys that it seems more and more there a boxes to be completed. The majority of the time my full name, nicknames, address, phone, birthday, age range, social security number, references, medications, surgeries, data about my life are all put into boxes.

Questions regarding my health, my abilities, legal statuses, likes and dislikes are all neatly put into boxes. Even if I am applying for a job I have to put my resume in a box. It’s like people feel they can know someone through these boxes. I have to check my marital status, gender, salary range, age and race. How can you really convey some of this into a box? Why do you need to know my salary range for anything other than a loan? Why is my race and gender needed for more things than a census survey? I am not filling an application out for the CIA but yet very personal questions are asked to be checked on applications. Often times I feel it is a violation of my human rights. I know my only options are to check the boxes or not get what I need that requires this information in the first place.

But seriously, when I am applying for a discount card at a grocery store or pharmacy, I opt out of the household income and race questions. Really, because I am “Caucasian” with a low income does that make me get a different coupon than my Hispanic neighbor who makes a bit more than me? Think about it. Also what about those of us with mixed heritage? I always want to add an “A bit of everything” box for my race. When there is a box marked “sex” instead of gender I always want to put either one of two things: “Not lately” or “Fabulous”. I figure they will get the idea.

People try to fit their lives in neat little boxes. They are organized. It looks nice.

Life isn’t always organized, nice or neat. Sometimes it’s messy, dirty and anything but nice.

So why all the boxes? I often wonder if we had to write more essay answers how we would fare. I understand that there are many who can’t read or write and that filling out applications can be nerve wracking. In that aspect it is understandable to have a basic form to be filled out. I also get you all forms and applications need your name, address and phone number – what I see as the basics.

The best application was for the boy’s school. It was a small book wherein I had to actually write out answers. The difference this was so they could get to know my child better than just me filling in the boxes. Of course I talk to them, but this way each teacher could pull his folder and read what I wrote and question me later. He really doesn’t eat bread? No, any help on that and I will bake you a cake. He loves broccoli? Yes but try and get him to eat a salad and he will not only act like you are trying to get him to eat poison, but if you actually do get him to “try” a bite be prepared for him to spit it straight out – I am working on that one!

I’ve filled out countless applications in my life thus far and they all have the box commonality.

Maybe some find it comforting. Maybe I am the weird one even thinking about this. Surely I can’t be the only one! I think it’s because I’ve never liked being put into a box. Literally or figuratively!

Strange, odd and off topics for you to ponder! Welcome to my mind!

Have a fabulous day and keep hope alive!

 

Does anyone else think about odd things like this?!

Happy Hump Day and stuff

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

minion humpday

We have arrived in the middle of the week, Wednesday which is often called hump day.

guess what day wed woot woot

Frankly I am just glad I made it this far this week. It’s been a bit challenging but I am strong and crazy and always keep hope alive!

I’ve had an abundance of work and this week with our lovely changing weather, migraines. Those evil beasts that you have no choice but to bend to their mercy to a point while valiantly trying to get your duties done.

not another migraine cat

So today I am keeping things short and sweet and adding a few memes for fun.

I hope you all have a fabulous hump day!

Keep hope alive!

 

Paradise is all about perception

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

Recently I got the chance to escape my surroundings and life for a weekend. All I knew was that I was riding shot gun and going to see another friend who lived in a tiny town in FL. My friend and I rode with the top down for the majority of the miles, singing and laughing and just enjoying the view. I must say my fabulously graceless hair style that day was wild wind and I couldn’t have been happier.

As we pulled into town after stopping at the local seafood mart, Piggly Wiggly and liquor store it was pointed out to me the new, and only, stop light in town. It was fancy for a town that had previously only had caution lights.

DSC_0714

We pulled off the “main road” onto the road which lead to our friend’s home. Red dirt road no pavement. Yes I had reached what I had been longing for.

DSC_0713

Paradise from the loud noises of the world. A few miles later we turned onto a driveway of sorts with fencing marked “Private Property” and the final leg of our journey to paradise. The beautiful pond with lily pads was on my left while two roads were in front with pasture on the right. I could barely make out a house on the right hill but we took a left, then another left and bounced down the sandy road to the compound we were staying in.

photo 1

By this time I was bouncing happily in my seat and already noting how little cell reception I was getting. Maybe it sounds crazy but I knew the only way for me to find my paradise was to be so far out that I could only use my phone if needed and then I had to open a door or stay outside. And outside was a beautiful landscape nearly untouched with groves of trees, a pond and trails that looked as if they were naturally placed to roam about the property.

DSC_0681

Of course we had a “Mule” to ride around in and view the beauty. View the beauty I did. I only cursed myself 100 times for not grabbing the camera prior to my adventures. Dogs, ducks, deer and other creatures were all that were around us. The only thing missing was they boy but I will most definitely be bringing him here. It is a boy’s paradise!

This country girl was having a blast stomping around in my boots checking out the flora and fauna of the area.

There was no shortage of good food, beverages (and yes adult beverages because hey, what’s a vacation if you can’t enjoy if you would like but not get sloppy stupid?), music, quiet, amazing views and beyond fabulous company. We sat on the front porch for hours and, at times, didn’t say a word but enjoy the companionship and the view.

There was no bellman, concierge, and hustle and bustle of many but complete contentment of just being. I watched a car be pulled apart and part of a room constructed. I helped out when I could but I had an abundant amount of me time which I thoroughly enjoyed. Making lists of to-do items didn’t take me long. Writing was easier without so many distractions and I was about to pound out a few pieces and write down outlines for a couple of series I plan to do. Of course I wrote just for me too. It’s not an option for me it just happens so I was just glad I brought so many notebooks to write in!

It was also therapeutic for me in that I wasn’t expected or required to actually physically participate and do anything other than assist as I wanted so I didn’t injure my spine or hips any worse. This is huge for me as I tend to overdo when I am home and always when I have the boy to a degree. Two of my new friends were Molly and RD, I almost took RD home with me as he is just so full of life! See how adorable they are?

photo 3

So my weekend getaway I have to say was a success.

It was one of my kinds of paradise. I see paradise as a perception of each individual person. I may see it as a paradise but someone else my see it as boring or even “dumb”. That is perfectly fine as I am talking about My Paradise.

I am beyond blessed to be able to find paradise in the little things and enjoy those getaways when I can. When I can’t I find the paradise in life whatever the circumstances may be. I sometime have to search but it is worth it.

I believe everyone has it in them, sometimes you just have to find it.

I will leave you with this… try to find a little bit of paradise in your life. Just a tiny bit, at home, at work, while driving, on vacation – whatever it is just find it. You will be happier in your soul for it.

I wish everyone a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

photo 4

 

 

 

The First Fall Monday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 2 Comments

Today is the first fall Monday.

hello monday image

The air has been crisp the days not quite as smoldering as it has been here in sweet home Alabama. The changing of the season to cooler at night and in the mornings.

We have a bit more rain but yet it isn’t all over.

We have some leaves that are colored still on the trees and then leaves on the ground of green, brown and bright reds and orange.

leaves green yelow orange red

Every day brings changes and fall is a time of change. That sweet spot between boiling hot and freezing cold.

What they say about the south is true. In one week you may wear shorts and sandals, jeans and t-shirt as well as heavy coat with boots. I keep a coat, boots and flip flops in my jeep year round.

flip flop boot

I am looking forward to a fabulous week with hopefully beautiful weather. I will find a way to find the good no matter what. After all, I have the miracle boy, proof dreams do come true and the universe has a wicked sense of humor.

Keep hope alive my fabulous friends!

Let’s go into this week kicking full of gracelessness!

Sunday my day of “rest”

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 1 Comment

Some say Sunday is considered a day of rest.

pause and rest

I often ponder that when I am getting up early for church, the walls don’t fall down be shocked I am, or when I am running errands to be ready for the week. There are actual Sundays where I do get to be restful and enjoy the day. At least until about 6 PM ish when I suddenly start running around trying to make sure I actually did get everything needed for the following day put where it needs to be, clothes laid out for me and, every other Monday, the boy, along with anything that needs to additionally go with us for either school or work. Yeah not considered restful, however I have now made it a part of my routine so that it flows better and is easier for me to finish a bit faster and enjoy the rest of my evening. Sometimes when I am at home and it’s easier to do, but often we have places to go, people to see, errands to run, projects to finish and we seem to be in a time crunch on Sunday or Sunday evenings.

I can proudly say I do not allow a whole 24 hours of total freak outs anymore as it doesn’t do anyone any good. No matter how much is happening in your life and the lives of your friends and family, you have to take a bit of rest for yourself. Let it heal your soul and replenish your body and mind. Really take at least an hour. You owe it to yourself at least once a week.

I oftentimes find it hard to make time to do all of the things I need to do for myself. I am distracted and put myself behind the needs of others. To some people I may even seem selfish because I can’t get back to them as quick as they would like, much less as quick as I would like to. This is where the guilt starts seeping in and I can’t help but feel bad that I didn’t follow up or get back to them.

Recently I’ve noticed I have no texted folks back when I clearly thought I had. I mean down to the wording of what I was planning and thinking and then go a few days and realize I did not send said text or email and in once instance a letter (still partially written). At this point I am banging my head against the table, cabinet or floor. I mean how crappy does that make me look?

head in head head hang

So I will grab my Sunday and try to make restful plans in addition to the resting of course, to catch up on all those I love and miss. At least that’s my plan for this Sunday! Who knows what life will toss at me?! Last Sunday I didn’t even “schedule” things I just listed what had to be done before Monday morning. Ha! I did get to be restful some throughout the though. And that is the whole point. Be restful.

And as always, Keep Hope Alive!

Stay fabulous and graceful my friends!

relax its sunday

Children’s programming, the creepy and the fun

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

There is somethings about children’s programming that is just a wee bit creepy. No matter how “innocent” something is, I seem to be able to find things both hysterically funny (maybe too funny as my filters are off) or deeply disturbing. I remember when Teletubbies came out in the 90’s. If you ever got the pleasure, or torture, of watching that show then you know what I mean. Since I had a best friend who had a 2 year old at the time, I was introduced, much like I had been to Barney *shudders still* many years earlier. The first viewing I was in hysterics laughing so hard I hurt. I turned and asked her if the opening “music” sounded like something you would hear at a party, frat house or stoner pad. She fell out laughing. The characters were also a bit disturbing but funny. I am sure adults and children watching this together had different opinions. I know her son did and so did we. They later changed the opening “music” but kept the rest of it pretty much the same. I know there were groups saying they were satanic, still not sure how and what I read was more like someone reaching for Mars but only making it to Michigan and calling it Mars. Like I said disturbing.

Then there is South Park. Anyone who has watched this knows it is not appropriate for children. I mean they air it mostly later in the evening, but I have noticed it on cable channels as just about any hour. I am not complaining. Just pointing out a fact. When I was recovering from surgery and the boy wasn’t home I caught a few minutes of it during my TV flip flop. It was still funny and I enjoyed it but I am not watching it with my kid!

We watch “Pinocchio”, “Alice and Wonderland” and “101 Dalmatians” among a several others that were from my era. He loves Scooby Doo and the Mystery team. I urge you to go back and watch a few of those. Political correctness and innuendos blast at you throughout the films. It is a hoot to me and I laugh but he doesn’t yet understand why I laugh. He just thinks I am laughing at the movie like he is. As he gets older I will teach him about these things, but for now I am letting him enjoy the innocence of the films.

They do have very cool graphics these days in children’s movies I must admit. We watched “Epic” recently and it was definitely a good movie. Now the boy wants binoculars so we can find the little people in the trees. I have to admit I was the same way. I also still believe.

I hope you will enjoy this fine Saturday whatever you do.

And as always, Keep Hope Alive!

Stay Fabulous!

 

Fabulously Fall Friday

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ Leave a comment

Hello my fabulously graceless friends! We should celebrate because it’s Friday!

I can only hope that you get to enjoy your weekend and that if you have had struggles and trials this last week that this weekend give you a reprieve from all of the maos in life!

We are officially into the fall season now and in some areas the trees are changing their colors from the lush green to the vibrant colors they are known for. They are also beginning to fall and I have seen some piles around, perfect for jumping in! I’m not so sure some people would be thrilled with strangers jumping in their leaf piles but I would think as long as you cleaned up, maybe they wouldn’t mind!

Colours of Autumn.

I can picture it in my head, my boy and I seeing a large pile of leaves, pulling over the Jeep and jumping in to play. As I am going to get the rake, doesn’t everyone carry a rake with them geez, the owner of the house coming out to see what all the noise is about. I gently explain what is happening, they shake their head and laugh, help me pile the leaves back up and off we go to find another pile. In reality I might end up talking to the law!

I hope you all have a fabulous Friday!

Keep Hope Alive!

 

I can’t help but volunteer… Alzheimer’s is deadly

~ gracelessnessover40 ~ 3 Comments

Do you every hear yourself saying “Yes” to an obligation while your mind screams “Are you crazy?! Noooooooo!”? This is my life and I can’t sometimes say no, especially if it is a good cause. Ugh!

Feeling dangerous I answered an unknown number. We all know that this could be Anything but I was feeling dangerous and adventurous so I sang “Hello” into my phone. I wasn’t expecting the cheery voice on the other end or someone who sounded generally happy to hear my voice. It was the new executive director of our local Alzheimer’s Association chapter. I had signed on to help with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, but due to life, changes in their staff and chaos in my life nothing has gotten done. So the walk is in 3 weeks and nothing is done. She is 8 days into her job and the lady is amazing. Of course I said I would help. Of course I am making the calls I have been putting off for months. Of course I am going in next week to meet with her and don’t want to be empty handed!

Did I mention I am also working part time, being a full time mommy and trying to find more work? All while keeping my head above water and keeping hope alive!

I have lost my mind but at least my heart is in the right place!

Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease. I have had several family members and friends who have had this disease or are caregivers to those with the disease. Everyone is different but we all share the same feeling of this disease robs us of those we love and robs those we love from life.

I worked in an assisted living for 2 years with our primary patient having some form of memory impairment. I ran support groups, was team captain for walks and learned all that I could. I realized I wanted to work directly for the association so for 3 months I pestered the crap out of the person who would later become my boss, mentor and an amazing friend. I worked for the Georgia Alzheimer’s Association for nearly 6 years.

Since then I have helped countless family, friends and strangers through varying stages of this disease. I am in several online support groups and work in an industry where care for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients is in high demand. Sadly people are not paid well for taking care of our seniors. That does not stop me because someone has to help these people. These “people” may be me and my family one day. If we don’t help out now, Alzheimer’s will soon be an epidemic if it is not considered so already.

*Over 5 million people have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Only 45% are told of their diagnosis versus 90% of cancer patients being told of their diagnosis. In 2015 it is estimated $226 billion will be spent on care. By 2030 there will be 70 million baby boomers who are at a greater risk for the disease. Alzheimer’s is the only one of the top 10 diseases that can’t be slowed, treated or cured. Alzheimer’s disease kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined. There is help with the Alzheimer’s Association 24 hour hotline 1-800-272-3900 and web site www.alz.org.

Seeing those facts, being in the trenches and knowing what the future holds is why I said yes I would help.

I may be crazy and things will probably go a bit haywire but I will know that in some small way I have helped.

I urge you to give in some way to a charity you believe in. whether it’s time or money or passing along their information to someone who needs it, please give a little bit of time.

For me, I will be working with the Alzheimer’s Association of Central Alabama.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!

Do you every hear yourself saying “Yes” to an obligation while your mind screams “Are you crazy?! Noooooooo!”? This is my life and I can’t sometimes say no, especially if it is a good cause. Ugh!

Feeling dangerous I answered an unknown number. We all know that this could be Anything but I was feeling dangerous and adventurous so I sang “Hello” into my phone. I wasn’t expecting the cheery voice on the other end or someone who sounded generally happy to hear my voice. It was the new executive director of our local Alzheimer’s Association chapter. I had signed on to help with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, but due to life, changes in their staff and chaos in my life nothing has gotten done. So the walk is in 3 weeks and nothing is done. She is 8 days into her job and the lady is amazing. Of course I said I would help. Of course I am making the calls I have been putting off for months. Of course I am going in next week to meet with her and don’t want to be empty handed!

Did I mention I am also working part time, being a full time mommy and trying to find more work? All while keeping my head above water and keeping hope alive!

I have lost my mind but at least my heart is in the right place!

Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease. I have had several family members and friends who have had this disease or are caregivers to those with the disease. Everyone is different but we all share the same feeling of this disease robs us of those we love and robs those we love from life.

I worked in an assisted living for 2 years with our primary patient having some form of memory impairment. I ran support groups, was team captain for walks and learned all that I could. I realized I wanted to work directly for the association so for 3 months I pestered the crap out of the person who would later become my boss, mentor and an amazing friend. I worked for the Georgia Alzheimer’s Association for nearly 6 years.

Since then I have helped countless family, friends and strangers through varying stages of this disease. I am in several online support groups and work in an industry where care for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients is in high demand. Sadly people are not paid well for taking care of our seniors. That does not stop me because someone has to help these people. These “people” may be me and my family one day. If we don’t help out now, Alzheimer’s will soon be an epidemic if it is not considered so already.

*Over 5 million people have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Only 45% are told of their diagnosis versus 90% of cancer patients being told of their diagnosis. In 2015 it is estimated $226 billion will be spent on care. By 2030 there will be 70 million baby boomers who are at a greater risk for the disease. Alzheimer’s is the only one of the top 10 diseases that can’t be slowed, treated or cured. Alzheimer’s disease kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined. There is help with the Alzheimer’s Association 24 hour hotline 1-800-272-3900 and web site www.alz.org.

Seeing those facts, being in the trenches and knowing what the future holds is why I said yes I would help.

I may be crazy and things will probably go a bit haywire but I will know that in some small way I have helped.

I urge you to give in some way to a charity you believe in. whether it’s time or money or passing along their information to someone who needs it, please give a little bit of time.

For me, I will be working with the Alzheimer’s Association of Central Alabama.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Keep Hope Alive!